u/Tryingtolive_123

Hey, I was diagnosed with HIV and started ART(2 weeks).

If you don’t mind sharing, I wanted to ask:

1. How are you doing now—physically and mentally?

2. How long did it take for things to feel “normal” again?

3. How has ART been for you? Any side effects, and did they get better?

4. Are you U=U now? How long did that take?

5. Did your fear and anxiety get better with time? What helped most?

6. Did you tell your family or keep it private? How did you handle that?

7. Has HIV affected your studies/career in any major way?

8. How do you deal with stigma or the fear of being judged?

9. Do you feel hopeful about relationships/dating now?

10. If you could say one thing to someone who was just diagnosed, what would it be?

Hey, I was diagnosed with HIV and started ART(2 weeks).

If you don’t mind sharing, I wanted to ask:

1. How are you doing now—physically and mentally?

2. How long did it take for things to feel “normal” again?

3. How has ART been for you? Any side effects, and did they get better?

4. Are you U=U now? How long did that take?

5. Did your fear and anxiety get better with time? What helped most?

6. Did you tell your family or keep it private? How did you handle that?

7. Has HIV affected your studies/career in any major way?

8. How do you deal with stigma or the fear of being judged?

9. Do you feel hopeful about relationships/date now?

10. If you could say one thing to someone who was just diagnosed, what would it be?

Hy everyone. I don’t really know why I’m making this post, but I feel like I can’t handle all of this alone anymore. I want to share my story from the beginning.

I’m a 23-year-old gay man from India.

Since childhood, I’ve had many health problems. I have asthma, dust and pollen allergies, eye allergies, and a few other issues. I used to get sick very often and was even hospitalized twice when I was younger. Because of all this, my parents have always been very protective about my health. Even now, if I run a little or lift something heavy, I get short of breath. During winter, I often get asthma attacks, and my eye allergies cause a lot of problems too. I’ve been dealing with these health issues since I was around 4 years old.

Because of this, I was never really able to make friends. In school, I had a few classmates I talked to until around 8th grade, but after that, I became completely alone. I never had real friends.

As I grew older, I realized that I was attracted to boys. At the same time, I was extremely skinny (I still am), and because of that my voice sounded feminine and still does little bit. From class 9 to 12, people made fun of me constantly—both for how skinny I was and for how my voice sounded. Some classmates would even measure my forearms and biceps just to laugh at how thin I was. They were also very homophobic.

Those years destroyed my confidence.

In class 10, I became very angry and emotionally unstable, probably because of everything I was experiencing. I even had a big fight with my siblings, and since then, we haven’t really spoken . We still live in the same house, but we don’t talk. They go out together, spend time together, enjoy life—and I’m always alone.

I stopped trying to make friends. I had been alone for so many years that I got used to it. Even in college, I used to sit alone. It hurt to see other people with their friends, because I wanted that too—but I was too afraid. I thought if I tried to get close to people, they would make fun of my skinny body again. And if they found out I was gay, it would be even worse. So I never tried.

In 2023, I discovered gay apps. I thought maybe I could finally make friends there, because everyone there would be gay or bi and I wouldn’t have to hide who I am. But I was wrong. Nobody seemed interested in friendship—everyone only wanted sex.

I had sex for the first time in January 2023, and honestly, it felt good. After that, I met more people—sometimes just to talk, sometimes for hookups. I thought maybe even if I couldn’t find real friends, at least I could have a few people to talk to.

Things felt okay for a while.

Then in 2025, I moved to another city for some work. I thought maybe a new city would mean a fresh start. Maybe I could meet new people and finally make some friends.

But again, I was wrong.

There too, most people only wanted sex. I met some guys through Grindr, and I had unprotected sex with a few of them. I asked if they were safe. They all said yes. I trusted them.

That was the biggest mistake of my life.

Now I’ve tested positive for HIV.

I’ve started ART, and I know treatment works, but mentally I feel broken.

When I found out I was HIV positive, I couldn’t sleep for two days. I barely slept at all. I completely lost my appetite, and honestly, that is still happening. My mind feels constantly heavy.

After testing positive, I had to go to the ART center alone. For three days, I stood in lines for hours, gave blood samples, did more tests, and went through counseling—all by myself. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

I had no one with me. No one I could talk to. No one I could tell.

During counseling, the doctors asked me many personal questions, and I felt extremely ashamed and uncomfortable answering them. But somehow, I answered everything.

They told me I should tell at least one family member, because I’m already physically unhealthy, and if my health gets worse in the future, I may need someone to help me or take me to the hospital.

But I feel too scared to tell anyone.

My whole life, I dreamed of having just one real friend—someone I wouldn’t have to hide my sexuality from. I dreamed of having a boyfriend who would truly love me. I dreamed of moving abroad someday and building a better life for myself.

I still want those things.

But now everything feels impossible.

I feel like no one will want to be my friend or my boyfriend anymore because I’m HIV positive.

No one in my family knows. I don’t have close friends. I don’t have a job. My health is already fragile, and now this feels like one more burden on top of everything else.

I keep thinking about the future and what will happen if I end up completely alone.

What if I never have a real friend? What if I never find a boyfriend? My parents won’t be here forever.

These thoughts scare me so much.

I honestly don’t know how to move forward.

If anyone has gone through something similar—or if anyone has advice—I would really appreciate hearing from you.

Right now, I just want to know if life can still get better from here.

Hi everyone. I don’t really know why I’m making this post, but I feel like I can’t handle all of this alone anymore. I want to share my story from the beginning.

I’m a 23-year-old gay man from India.

Since childhood, I’ve had many health problems. I have asthma, dust and pollen allergies, eye allergies, and a few other issues. I used to get sick very often and was even hospitalized twice when I was younger. Because of all this, my parents have always been very protective about my health. Even now, if I run a little or lift something heavy, I get short of breath. During winter, I often get asthma attacks, and my eye allergies cause a lot of problems too. I’ve been dealing with these health issues since I was around 4 years old.

Because of this, I was never really able to make friends. In school, I had a few classmates I talked to until around 8th grade, but after that, I became completely alone. I never had real friends.

As I grew older, I realized that I was attracted to boys. At the same time, I was extremely skinny (I still am), and because of that my voice sounded feminine and still does. From class 9 to 12, people made fun of me constantly—both for how skinny I was and for how my voice sounded. Some classmates would even measure my forearms and biceps just to laugh at how thin I was. They were also very homophobic.

Those years destroyed my confidence.

In class 10, I became very angry and emotionally unstable, probably because of everything I was experiencing. I even had a big fight with my siblings, and since then, we haven’t really spoken . We still live in the same house, but we don’t talk. They go out together, spend time together, enjoy life—and I’m always alone.

I stopped trying to make friends. I had been alone for so many years that I got used to it. Even in college, I used to sit alone. It hurt to see other people with their friends, because I wanted that too—but I was too afraid. I thought if I tried to get close to people, they would make fun of my skinny body again. And if they found out I was gay, it would be even worse. So I never tried.

In 2023, I discovered gay apps. I thought maybe I could finally make friends there, because everyone there would be gay or bi and I wouldn’t have to hide who I am. But I was wrong. Nobody seemed interested in friendship—everyone only wanted sex.

I had sex for the first time in January 2023, and honestly, it felt good. After that, I met more people—sometimes just to talk, sometimes for hookups. I thought maybe even if I couldn’t find real friends, at least I could have a few people to talk to.

Things felt okay for a while.

Then in 2025, I moved to another city for some work. I thought maybe a new city would mean a fresh start. Maybe I could meet new people and finally make some friends.

But again, I was wrong.

There too, most people only wanted sex. I met some guys through Grindr, and I had unprotected sex with a few of them. I asked if they were safe. They all said yes. I trusted them.

That was the biggest mistake of my life.

Now I’ve tested positive for HIV.

I’ve started ART, and I know treatment works, but mentally I feel broken.

When I found out I was HIV positive, I couldn’t sleep for two days. I barely slept at all. I completely lost my appetite, and honestly, that is still happening. My mind feels constantly heavy.

After testing positive, I had to go to the ART center alone. For three days, I stood in lines for hours, gave blood samples, did more tests, and went through counseling—all by myself. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

I had no one with me. No one I could talk to. No one I could tell.

During counseling, the doctors asked me many personal questions, and I felt extremely ashamed and uncomfortable answering them. But somehow, I answered everything.

They told me I should tell at least one family member, because I’m already physically unhealthy, and if my health gets worse in the future, I may need someone to help me or take me to the hospital.

But I feel too scared to tell anyone.

My whole life, I dreamed of having just one real friend—someone I wouldn’t have to hide my sexuality from. I dreamed of having a boyfriend who would truly love me. I dreamed of moving abroad someday and building a better life for myself.

I still want those things.

But now everything feels impossible.

I feel like no one will want to be my friend or my boyfriend anymore because I’m HIV positive.

No one in my family knows. I don’t have close friends. I don’t have a job. My health is already fragile, and now this feels like one more burden on top of everything else.

I keep thinking about the future and what will happen if I end up completely alone.

What if I never have a real friend?
What if I never find a boyfriend?
My parents won’t be here forever.

These thoughts scare me so much.

I honestly don’t know how to move forward.

If anyone has gone through something similar—or if anyone has advice—I would really appreciate hearing from you.

Right now, I just want to know if life can still get better from here.

Hi everyone. I don’t really know why I’m making this post, but I feel like I can’t handle all of this alone anymore. I want to share my story from the beginning.

I’m a 23-year-old gay man from India.

Since childhood, I’ve had many health problems. I have asthma, dust and pollen allergies, eye allergies, and a few other issues. I used to get sick very often and was even hospitalized twice when I was younger. Because of all this, my parents have always been very protective about my health. Even now, if I run a little or lift something heavy, I get short of breath. During winter, I often get asthma attacks, and my eye allergies cause a lot of problems too. I’ve been dealing with these health issues since I was around 4 years old.

Because of this, I was never really able to make friends. In school, I had a few classmates I talked to until around 8th grade, but after that, I became completely alone. I never had real friends.

As I grew older, I realized that I was attracted to boys. At the same time, I was extremely skinny (I still am), and because of that my voice sounded feminine and still does. From class 9 to 12, people made fun of me constantly—both for how skinny I was and for how my voice sounded. Some classmates would even measure my forearms and biceps just to laugh at how thin I was. They were also very homophobic.

Those years destroyed my confidence.

In class 10, I became very angry and emotionally unstable, probably because of everything I was experiencing. I even had a big fight with my siblings, and since then, we haven’t really spoken . We still live in the same house, but we don’t talk. They go out together, spend time together, enjoy life—and I’m always alone.

I stopped trying to make friends. I had been alone for so many years that I got used to it. Even in college, I used to sit alone. It hurt to see other people with their friends, because I wanted that too—but I was too afraid. I thought if I tried to get close to people, they would make fun of my skinny body again. And if they found out I was gay, it would be even worse. So I never tried.

In 2023, I discovered gay apps. I thought maybe I could finally make friends there, because everyone there would be gay or bi and I wouldn’t have to hide who I am. But I was wrong. Nobody seemed interested in friendship—everyone only wanted sex.

I had sex for the first time in January 2023, and honestly, it felt good. After that, I met more people—sometimes just to talk, sometimes for hookups. I thought maybe even if I couldn’t find real friends, at least I could have a few people to talk to.

Things felt okay for a while.

Then in 2025, I moved to another city for some work. I thought maybe a new city would mean a fresh start. Maybe I could meet new people and finally make some friends.

But again, I was wrong.

There too, most people only wanted sex. I met some guys through Grindr, and I had unprotected sex with a few of them. I asked if they were safe. They all said yes. I trusted them.

That was the biggest mistake of my life.

Now I’ve tested positive for HIV.

I’ve started ART, and I know treatment works, but mentally I feel broken.

When I found out I was HIV positive, I couldn’t sleep for two days. I barely slept at all. I completely lost my appetite, and honestly, that is still happening. My mind feels constantly heavy.

After testing positive, I had to go to the ART center alone. For three days, I stood in lines for hours, gave blood samples, did more tests, and went through counseling—all by myself. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

I had no one with me. No one I could talk to. No one I could tell.

During counseling, the doctors asked me many personal questions, and I felt extremely ashamed and uncomfortable answering them. But somehow, I answered everything.

They told me I should tell at least one family member, because I’m already physically unhealthy, and if my health gets worse in the future, I may need someone to help me or take me to the hospital.

But I feel too scared to tell anyone.

My whole life, I dreamed of having just one real friend—someone I wouldn’t have to hide my sexuality from. I dreamed of having a boyfriend who would truly love me. I dreamed of moving abroad someday and building a better life for myself.

I still want those things.

But now everything feels impossible.

I feel like no one will want to be my friend or my boyfriend anymore because I’m HIV positive.

No one in my family knows. I don’t have close friends. I don’t have a job. My health is already fragile, and now this feels like one more burden on top of everything else.

I keep thinking about the future and what will happen if I end up completely alone.

What if I never have a real friend?
What if I never find a boyfriend?
My parents won’t be here forever.

These thoughts scare me so much.

I honestly don’t know how to move forward.

If anyone has gone through something similar—or if anyone has advice—I would really appreciate hearing from you.

Right now, I just want to know if life can still get better from here.