u/Weak-Feedback-8379

“You have to be squidding me! If my underlings couldn’t take over this place, I’ll do it myself!”

Ah Green Hill zone, good for both the start of an adventure or simple relaxation, known for its lush greenery and naturally occurring loop-de-loops, it’s a place no one would blame you for settling down in and calling your home.

But given how trees usually produce oxygen and not steam, and are also made out of wood and not metal, it’s clear that tranquility wasn’t going to last

“Hahahahaha! My metalo-ray works!” Laughed the evil Dr. Koopbotnik, flying high in his Koop-o-matic hovercraft “Soon I’ll have turned Greenhill zone into a giant factory just for me! And I’ll use my monopoly on all products it’ll give me to take over Mobius!”

The mad doctor laughed more and more as he kept on blasting nature to make it machine, even turning an innocent chicken into an automatic egg cooker! Who will stop this fiend? Certainly not me, because legally I’m not allowed to leave this narration booth.

Overnight a mildly large castle appeared, and apparently everyone in there likes to talk so loud it’s impossible to tell what ISN’T going down in there

“Listen up all of you!” A mostly green dragon…thing who seemed to rule over them all shouted “It appears we’ve been transported to this weird unknown place, so I’ve decided to make the most of it by using it as an opportunity to really conquer things! All of you go out and find out whatever you can about the surrounding area!”

Then, a certain mouse with a New York accent approached

“Your majesty, it appears the new world we landed in is Mobius!” Mouser said “Should I prepare your alter ego closet for when we try to take over the various zones it’s made up of?”

“Mobius…Prepare it fast Mouser, or we’ll be having rat soup for dinner tonight!” The king said, walking out to his balcony “Did you hear that Mobius!? Soon enough you will bend whatever weird appendages you have at King Koopa! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

Skullface- Ultimate slasher*

Skullface‘s mom- Ultimate mother

Skullface 9000- Ultimate murder robot

* Before the death of VHS

“INTERNAL CALENDAR READS JULY 1 (whenever DGR actually happens I don’t know)”

“TIME JUICE LEVELS EQUAL, INSUFFICIENT AMOUNT TO RETURN TO FUTURE”

“MISSION, PROTECT [REDACTED] AND AFTER THE KILLING GAME KILLED THE THE ANCESTOR OF THE LEADER OF HUMAN REBELLION”

“CHANCE OF SUCCESS, MOST CERTAIN.”

The first Pirate sled down on his hook, doing a backflip once he reached what was left of the car they hit

“Planet ho men! I wonder what we’ll be finding on here?”

The second slid on his feet, and looked like he barely avoided falling off

“Uh, captain plunder? Are you sure there’s any treasure on this planet? Seems to be too civilized.”

The third slid sitting down, and simply got off once he was close enough to the ground

“Bah! Back when I was a captain, it didn’t matter how civilized a planet was, you still took what was valuable! Admittedly, it’s one of the few changes with the times I’m glad it happened. The city burning sent too many weak men to therapy.”

The fourth jumped down instead of sliding, and landed perfectly on their feet

“Sometimes I really question your morals old man.”

The fifth slid down on his shield, and ended up smashing face first into the wrecked car

“Oof! First, I lose the coin flip to be the pink one then we traveled to Cosmos for years without finding any planets, and now I’ve ruined my chance to make a cool person impression. Typical.”

The earth has begun to shake, buildings have begun to collapse, and sinkholes have begun to form. A so-called loser has been drilling uninterrupted these past few days to the center of Mobius, and has almost reached the core. What does he plan to do? Hold the whole planet hostage in exchange for a giant titanium statue of himself and his villain team to be built in central city, to immortalize them as the ultimate criminals! Nobody knows if he has the guts to go all the way through the Earth, but does anyone want to know?