u/Wishbone1254

Male, 23. I have been having a hard time getting into any relationship, and a big reason why I started so late in my life is because I didn't realize until some time ago: I don't love myself. I don't view myself as ever enough. I don't see myself as someone worthy enough to date.
People tell me to be confident, but how can I be confident when I'm never someone's first choice? I also believe I'm slowly becoming a pessimistic person, and my time with my life-long friends is going to come to an end most likely because of how I'm acting. I can't help it. I know too much about a lot of things that are happening.
I truly believe it's because I don't love myself. How I know is from when I did at 19 years old. My life felt good not because I was 19, but because I understood the values I carried, was happy with them, and viewed myself as someone worthy and determined for anything I wanted. That's changed now. I got kicked down by my mother and never recovered, and I started spiraling from there. And here we are now.
I truly don't love myself. I didn't want this to be a rant, but I also wanted people to understand the full story. So, if you have any advice that really could help me, I will appreciate it.

Male, 23. I have been having a hard time getting into any relationship, and a big reason why I started so late in my life is because I didn't realize until some time ago: I don't love myself. I don't view myself as ever enough. I don't see myself as someone worthy enough to date.
People tell me to be confident, but how can I be confident when I'm never someone's first choice? I also believe I'm slowly becoming a pessimistic person, and my time with my life-long friends is going to come to an end most likely because of how I'm acting. I can't help it. I know too much about a lot of things that are happening.
I truly believe it's because I don't love myself. How I know is from when I did at 19 years old. My life felt good not because I was 19, but because I understood the values I carried, was happy with them, and viewed myself as someone worthy and determined for anything I wanted. That's changed now. I got kicked down by my mother and never recovered, and I started spiraling from there. And here we are now.
I truly don't love myself. I didn't want this to be a rant, but I also wanted people to understand the full story. So, if you have any advice that really could help me, I will appreciate it.

Male, 23, 5’10”, 117 lbs. I’m capped out on how much weight I can lift. For example, with 30-lb dumbbells, I can do 4x10, and on most of my other exercises for my workouts, I’m capped at different weights depending on the machine or workout. What do I do? I’m currently trying to gain weight. Do I just need to gain weight to be able to lift heavier? What do I do?

I’m starting to get really depressed going to the gym. I am a 23-year-old male and I’m 117 pounds. I started going to the gym, I’m about a year in, like two or three months over, and I can’t gain weight. I’m eating like 4,200 calories per day. I can’t gain weight, it’s hard.
'I know, eat more!' I know, I know. I’ve heard it a hundred times.
I have a pretty good body fat percentage. I would say I’m more on the lean, slim side, not necessarily bone-and-dry skinny. And I’m starting to lose motivation to even go to the gym. My strength has gone up immensely, I’m stronger, but I’m so capped out. I can’t even push more weight if I wanted to, but the reps have gone up. But it’s just such a struggle.
I don’t know what else to do. I don’t think I should do anything because I can’t. I’ve tried. I’m not trying to sound like a little bitch, I’m just at the end of my rope. I’m starting to lose any love for the gym at this point because I can’t even go anywhere. I feel like I’m in the same fucking spot I’ve been in, and it sucks. It really sucks.
And I’ve been eating more, and I’ve been going to nutritionists, and I can’t gain weight. I’m stuck at the same time. Like, should I even keep going to the gym? Is there even a point? Is there genuinely even... like, I’m not going anywhere. Should I be focusing more on my protein intake? Like, I don’t know anymore. I’m so plateaued. I haven’t moved at all.
I see people younger than me, they just blow up in size and muscle, and I’m just such a loser. I can’t do anything right. I feel horrible. Why is my body so useless.

Why is it that I have nothing to say, but then when a topic comes up, I have lots to say? Or, if I’m not really familiar with someone or know they can joke, I won’t really interact with them not because I hate them or anything. It’s all weird. Like, I have nothing to say unless I do. Am I antisocial? I don’t get it. Sometimes I will also go different routes at work so I don’t have to feel obligated to say hi to someone because I fear of what to say if we start a conversation. I have been trying more to go out of my way to make convos to get better at talking to people.

Male 23 I have been making small progress with making conversation it’s not that I’m afraid of women or anything but when it’s a woman I think is pretty and I like I find it hard. I get nervous and I start to go quiet and can’t think of anything to say I’m making slow progress just trying to make more small talk with people and co workers to get better with conversation in general. When I go back to school in a month and I’m on campus I want to be better and get a girlfriend. Idk why it’s so hard

Male 23 I have been making small progress with making conversation it’s not that I’m afraid of women or anything but when it’s a woman I think is pretty and I like I find it hard I get nervous and I start to go quiet and can’t think of anything to say I’m making slow progress just trying to make more small talk with people and co workers to get better with conversation in general. Idk why it’s so hard

I'm 23 now, but for the past 2–3 years, I've felt older like I'm 40. I am a bit of a shy person, so I tend to be indoors more, but I've been getting out more and doing things. Even when I do, I just feel old, like, 'this isn't what I do,' if that makes sense.

But I want to do that because I'm young and I wanna be in the crowd. I wanna be talking to girls. I wanna go and do things with my friends, but I feel old, you know? I'm still hanging out with some of the guys from high school, and we were a bunch of losers, I'd say. We didn't go and do anything; we didn't go to parties. As of right now, in my friend group, one of us has a girlfriend and the other one is just very introverted. I would say I'm introverted too, but I make more of an effort to talk and check dates here and there, and I'll say yes to things that I might not wanna do. I still find it hard because I'm just naturally like that, but I have made an effort.
I was supposed to go on a date last Friday, but it never worked. She bailed on me—that's a different story.

It's only three of us, including me, and I'm back at home for summer since I'm not in school right now, and every weekend, I just don't do anything. I just sit inside. I feel like such an old man, but I've been feeling this for a couple of years now. Even when I go out, I don't feel like I fit in—like clubs and bars, I don't feel like I fit in. Part of me kind of wants to know... I wanna... I want, you know, I want... I wanna get girls. I wanna enjoy having a good time. I wanna drink booze with people and just get better with the conversation.

Do I need like a new friend group? What do I need? And it's weird, because I go out of my way to make friends and then things don't work. Like, I made a group of friends at my school, and now none of them are returning next year to finish it off, so I'm just gonna be left by myself going to classes. Yeah, I just... I don't know why it's like nothing just ever aligns for me either, and I'm starting to feel old. Like, I'm 23, but I feel 40.

Maybe this is a lot to say, but it's just... why do I feel like this? If anybody else is similar or has gone through it, did you ever find an answer, or have an answer to this? I'd say I'm definitely more of an introverted person, but I would say I make great efforts to try to be extroverted and try to when I can.

Male 23 So my issue is I’m trying to think of the next thing to say so my brain is constantly trying to think of things to say to keep the convo going if u have been in this mindset what did u do to fix this I feel stuck?

Also it’s not that I can’t have a convo but when I see a woman I’m interested or trying to talk with a coworker I’m trying to have a better flow aswell.

Male, 23. This question has probably been asked multiple times, but I've seen people say to start by making female friends and go from there, or to just try dating apps like Tinder. I know it’s not complicated, but I’m trying to get better with this stuff. What advice would you give, or what’s worked for you?

A big part of my life, I’ve never felt like I fit in. I never felt like I was enough, so I isolated myself and I tend to keep quiet. I still do this to this day.
23 years old now, and I noticed that a period of my life when I was around 19 or 20, I was talking very positively to myself and I noticed my life was just better. I felt happier. I felt more people gravitated towards me, and I just had a better outlook on life and I felt good. I don’t know what happened, but I remember something happened and I couldn’t get back to it, no matter how I tried.
Besides that, I wanna be more present in my life. I don’t know how to delete the things I want. I want to be in a relationship and have the mindset that I can be in one, instead of just going around thinking it was never meant for me, because that’s all I’ve ever thought of that it was never meant for me. I wanna be a man who can do it, and I wanna go for something saying that I can actually achieve that thing before disqualifying myself before even doing it.

Male 23 For one whole week, I talked to this girl on Tinder, and then eventually I planned a date for Saturday. It was all sorted out and done.

The next morning, Saturday morning, I asked her for her Instagram so I could get her address and we could carry our conversations through there, as I thought we’ve talked enough and we’re already planning a date. I don’t see the real issue; when I gave her the plans of what we were going to do Saturday the day before, she said "perfect" and had no issues with it.

Fast-forward back to Saturday morning: after asking for her Instagram, I got no response the whole day. It might not sound like a big deal, but why does this always happen to me? Why do I plan dates and women never show up, or they fall through even though they said they would? I’ve gotten numbers from women sometimes, through dating apps or in person, and they just don’t want to go on dates, or things fall through.

What is wrong with me? I don’t get it. I can’t. It just doesn't work for me, but it does for everybody else. I don’t know how I feel about it, but I don’t feel good about it. It’s weird. I don’t understand. I don’t really know what to say.

if you’ve been through the same thing as me, and if you have any advice on what to do next time or just how to go about this, I’d really appreciate it.

Im hooking up with this chick for the first time tomorrow, I never met we met on Tinder I’m still a virgin at 23 years old and I’m a bit nervous. I’m nervous that I could get her pregnant. I’m nervous that you know. Maybe I can’t get it up.

Are these normal things to think about before going to have sex? It feels like everybody around me just has sex and I would be really upset if something was to happen when it’s my turn even though I’m going to be wearing a condom and I’ve already tried them on to make sure they work.

I just wanna know that like I can just have sex too you know and not have to face any consequences, especially when I’m taking precautions. I’m not I’m not doing what you know. Couples might do where they just don’t use a condom. I do because I’m just meeting up with a this girl on Tinder. Is this normal questioning? Have you guys ever questioned these things as well? Is it normal?

Ps I wrote this with terrible punctuation. I’m currently just speaking out of my AirPods to write this. I don’t have my other hands to use right now to fix this.

So, I have never had sex, and I wanted to, I wanted to lose my virginity for a while. I'm a 23 year old male, and I’ve been trying, texting girls, you know, really trying, trying to get out there. I’m just really new to it still too.

And this girl I’ve been texting her on Tinder, wants to meet up this weekend, and I’m pretty sure she wants to hook up. I'm afraid and I'm nervous, that I could get her pregnant. I’m scared for some reason, like it’s all moving so fast. Is she expecting somebody experienced? Can I do this?

I’ve never really had this feeling where I’m afraid of what I’m hoping to get. And I have used condoms before to make sure, I know how one works on myself. But I’ve never had this feeling before, so I don’t really know what to do.

If you’ve gone through something similar, or you know what I’m going through, any advice would help me a lot. I don’t have any one to talk to this about I know Reddit is really the last place but I just need someone to help me with this.

About five, six, or maybe even seven months ago, I started getting a bunch of baby hairs along my hairline. I’m a 23-year-old male. Is this normal, or what does this mean?
I have thick, straight-to-wavy hair. I used to keep it short before letting it grow out long, which has taken about a couple of months, like I said. My hairline hasn’t moved at all over the past couple of years, either.
One quick thing I should add: during those months, I was in school for about eight months, and the dorms had hard water, so I don’t know if that was a contributing factor or a reason why. Also, I’ve been wearing a beanie for the majority of the year because I’m in Canada and it’s been really cold. Just some other little info to note.

I just seen a post on Reddit about some guy who’s never been in the hookup culture and the rest of the comments really made me depressed a lot of “never being seen as a choice” and I understood that but at the same time I’m sitting here I’m 23 and I’m not saying hookup culture is a good thing by any means but I have no experience with women intimately I need to try more I’m watching life pass me by because I’m too scared to get out of my shell and I have no excuse since I have time so I need some advice on how to navigate and get laid my main goal is to not have regrets and to get experience with a woman that I want. Dudes who have and just can walk out of a bar with a woman what would u tell someone who’s trying to get laid i knowif this sounds stupid as fuck I’m aware but at the same time I need to try.

Male, 23. How do I NOT give off nonchalant vibes?
I usually keep to myself, have a poker face, and am quiet and shy. It’s just my nature; it’s just how I’ve always been. It’s like I’m an NPC. But I was talking to this girl from my class, and she mentioned I’m the complete opposite of her. She said she is a "lover girl" and I’m more nonchalant. I’m not into her, but it’s just what she said of me, and I’m starting to think that’s why I’m probably struggling with getting a date in my life. I want to change that by being less nonchalant. I wasn’t aware of it, but I don’t know where to start or what to do. Is it a mindset switch?

Where do I start and how?

Male, 118 pounds, 22. I started the gym about nine months ago, and within the seventh month, I started to find and estimate my maintenance calorie weight. The nine months have been long, but I've stuck with the gym in my life and I’m trying to put on some weight and muscle.
I just got back home recently from school and I had to readjust my eating habits and my new gym location, just because it’s different now from what it was at school. I haven’t been doing very well at keeping my calories up and in a surplus. Still, I’ve been very consistent. However, regarding going to the gym, for about five weeks I’ve missed it just due to starting a new job here that’s very labor intensive in a welding shop, and also readjusting to the time. My gym is full or not full based on when I get off of work. I work 10 hours every day, every week from Monday to Friday.
I’ve lost some muscle from not being in the gym for five weeks, and it’s starting to weigh on me. I’m starting to notice it. Even when I had the muscle, I still felt like I looked the same. I haven’t gained any weight. I’ve been struggling to gain weight because it takes longer for me to see results in any of that. With my lifestyle as of right now and how fast my metabolism is by just nature, I get close or sometimes I don’t reach all my calorie intake goal.
As of right now writing this, I have a cold and it’s kicking my ass. I got it from a coworker at work, so I’m gonna be out of the gym for another two weeks or so. I want to go, but I know that it’s just gonna prolong this cold and it’s gonna make it even harder for me.
I just need to know: how do you keep motivation? What do I do to keep my mindset positive knowing that I just look and feel the same, I’ve gained no weight, and I feel like these months have just been a waste of time? I’ve gone up weight lifting wise, but it’s not even enough. I’m stuck at 110 pounds of lifting weight on almost everything, except for dumbbells where I’m stuck at around the 30s.
I’m not asking how to gain weight. I’m just asking: how do I keep this positive mindset so that I can just go forward? I just can’t when I don’t see the progress. I'm not saying I was expecting some fabulous, insane transformation, but just maybe a little more so I didn’t look so much the same from when I started. How do I help myself?

Male, 22. I'm trying to get better with women/negative self talk, but when I try, I fall into this comfort of being a loser—talking to no one and telling myself, "You have no shot," or things like, "You’re just shit, why bother?"

I have a fear I've also noticed recently as to why I don't speak in public or at my job: I have a feeling that the second I say something, I will be disliked, or people will make me feel bad about myself if they don't understand what I'm saying. I think a lot of this also stems from the bad interactions I have had with women at clubs. When they say, "I’ll be back, give me five minutes," I know they won’t. They don't come back.

I get angry sometimes, too—not towards anyone, but at the way things are. Like, what's so wrong with me? Haven't I gone through enough? Haven't I at least earned some kind of a win? I'm not a "nice guy" by any means, but I am kind. I don't kiss ass to be liked. Why am I so different? Why can’t I succeed at this? It’s been like this my whole life.

I get angry and depressed just looking at couples or pieces of shit that don't appreciate any of what they have been given, while I haven't even gotten the chance to have a girlfriend. Most of my life has been spent getting led on by women, or them changing their minds about me later in a "fine, I guess" sounding way—not actually wanting me. I have had to set up dates only to be ditched. I was never raised in a bad family, so I don't know why I'm so different.

I'm so tired of having to care for women’s feelings—not in a "I don’t care at all" way, but in the sense of: why should I be caring for you when all I have ever had is terrible interactions? I did nothing wrong. All I did was be nice. I get if I sound like a loser, sure, but it’s how I feel. I’m mainly just mad at my situation. I’m mad at myself for not being enough, for being stupid, for being me.