u/coolseabreezes

I lost my job 7 months ago after disability discrimination and bullying by my manager. After that life spiralled out of control. I wasn't able to find a new job with employment tribunal hanging over me. I claimed PIP towards the end when it was looking like I was going to be fired, and I was scored 0 points. Mandatory reconsideration also got 0 points. Now going to tribunal so two tribunals at the same time but they are taking months and months and just ghosting me.

I am up to my eyeballs in debt. I am going to be homeless. The council only changed my banding after two complaints and threats to go to the ombudsman was I finally given homelessness prevention duty. But my housing officer tells me to just apply for rented properties even with no guarantor, bad credit history and no money. Landlords are rude to me or outright ban me from applying even tho that's now against the law, it's humiliating telling my story over and over that yes I lost my job, I'm on benefits and about to be homeless. I few friends and I am estranged from my abusive family.

I feel like crying every day. I genuinely don't know what I'm living for. I was abused my family my entire life, bullied in almost every job I ever had, I have autism and fibromyalgia as well as depression and anxiety so it's extremely hard. I failed a care assessment at the local council because I was articulate and had "washing on the airer" when the social worker came for an assessment.

I feel like such a failure. I can't cope. I feel like I'm being crushed. I am having panic attacks and meltdowns every day. I don't want to be homeless. I don't know what I'm living for anymore. I can't get a job but I can't get PIP, I can't find anywhere to live. I've always wanted just a cat or a pet to live for but that's completely out of the equation now.

People keep telling me it will get better but in my experience it doesn't everything gets worse. I am now going to lose most of my possession even the little things I have fought for other the years. I have no faith life is going to improve, that I am going to find a stable home, job, someone who cares about me. I am in so much physical and emotional pain every day it reduces me to tears. I would rather just die now than become the disabled people who are forced to live in squalor in council estates getting sick and bitter.

Failed my mandatory reconsideration. Apparently a suicide attempt doesnt cut it so think I'll just go all the way this time. I'm sure it would make all the people who flock here to downvote on mass and laugh at people suffering very happy.

Called up today to get the decision. Knew it was likely not going to be accepted and yet I still cried and hit myself and cut myself. I have been in hell for months and I just want it to end but its never going to fucking end. The council won't declare me homeless as I will "likely get PIP" well that hasn't fucking worked has it.

And I keep going to job interviews just to bomb due to my autism or get demeaned. I am ugly and they dont want to hire me because I am ugly and off putting. I am sick of waking up to "careful consideration" and "unfortunately" and having to apply for jobs I know I can't do because the system is broken.

I was abused my entire childhood and wake up in agony every day. No I don't want to do this anymore. I dont want to lose everything while the government just shrug and say "this never could have been avoided" and "we did the best we could" fuck that I am living degraded and demeaned I would rather die with some dignity.

I got a call on Monday from the decision maker for my PIP mandatory reconsideration saying she would be making the decision today (Monday) and that I could either wait for the letter or call back in 24 hours over the phone to get the decision over the phone. The first report led to self-harm when I got it in the post so I thought I would wait until the letter came as I feel it would be too much to call in if I need to cry, etc. and I just hate the phone in general I really don't like phone calls. I heard from someone else you can check the 'get proof of benefits' portal, I logged in with my Gov One ID but it just says we cannot find a record of benefits you usually get. It has only been 2/3 days to be fair but could this be a sign the MR has not been successful? Thanks

I am trying to cut down on using AI for everything so thought I would go to real humans. I have one Audible credit and trying to find a good audio book to use it for. I have considered some of the classics I want to read: Narnia series, Golden Compass, Mortal Engines or A Series of Unfortunate Events. Currently I am listening to Brothers of the Wild North Sea and it is very good. I am reading ASOIAF series (currently on A Clash of Kings) and watching House of the Dragon so I am on a massive fantasy kick atm and reading and writing a lot of fanfiction.

What I really like about ASOIAF is the family and tragedy element. GRRM I feel like is underrated in how he writes interpersonal dynamics both platonic and romantic. I am searching for a book (ideally in the high fantasy genre but don't mind other genres, I also like sci-fi, horror and the gothic a lot) that has a lot of fractured family dynamics and is very sad but also very cathartic. I have been explicitly looking for books with LGBT+ main characters as well. Though sci-fi, Kurt Vonnegut is my favourite writer because he captures the bleak irony of life but I also feel like he injects a lot of pathos into his work similar to GRRM. What I am saying is I want a book that moves me and rips my heart out.

Also if anyone can suggest specifically audiobooks that have a good narrator/performance that would be great (I am going to stop procrastinating cleaning now trying to search for the perfect audiobook/YouTube video)

I have been signed off sick from work since late March following long-winded disability discrimination, bullying and victimisation/retaliation I won't get into. I already had PTSD but that workplace has just added to it, and they refused to take my grievance seriously or punish the prepetrator so I feel I cannot go back. I wanted them to settle but they have been dragging their feet and I am waiting for employment tribunal.

During this time, money has been extremely tight. I was paid sick pay which has now run out. I couldn't survive on UC. I had a PIP assessment and am waiting for the outcome of mandatory reconsideration. I have also been waiting for a WCA for 5 months, I turned up to an in-person one a few days ago and did not find out until I limped to the door the centre was closed and I wasn't notified, wasting the time or both me and the friend that drove me there.

I was getting DHP (discretionary housing payment) towards rent. Despite it being renewed until 20th October, I checked today and they haven't paid me in two weeks so I am short on rent this month by £200 and it's due in 4 days. I also have £3000+ of debt and go further into credit card debt just paying essentials like food and council tax. I put in a complaint to the council around the say time the payment was stopped so it just feels like more punishment for speaking up.

So I am now at risk of homelessness. Will only get probably £450 in UC this month due to last month's sick pay, which puts me at risk of homelessness. I told the council I have been at risk of homelessness for months but they refused to do a banding review until ombusmand action.

I don't know if this is a rant or asking for support or what. I can't take this anymore, I have been fighting for months and self-harmed today because I just can't take it anymore. I feel like I am being driven crazy by stress and the best people can say is thoughts and prayers. I have a job interview in 3 days but I can't even focus because I am so stressed about money and everything, and I feel completely defeated and almost certain I won't get the job because I am autistic and ugly and the stress will come across in the interview

As an undiagnosed autistic teen (back then, got diagnosed last year at 27) with only a handful of friends from school who didnt meet up outside of school (turns out most of us ended up being autistic lol) the Internet was pretty much my only escape and place to share my thoughts/feelings as an abused kid.

The puritan culture on tumblr really did a number on me. I think it was also the illusion of "fame" as I had 10,000 followers at one point (just because I blogged for lile 6 years and joined different fandoms I think) therefore I felt a weird sense of "responsibility" and would also stress over posts that lost me followers at like 14.

I was in the DC comics fandom which from my experience was mostly other teens and 90% anti. It was weird as it didnt start off majority anti, there were plenty of ships like jaytim around and I would read fic and reblog art even if I wasn't a superfan. But we all used to follow each other and it wasn't a problem.

Then something changed I wanna say around 2014 when more antis started popping up. I used to have a Skype group (pre discord) and it descended into absolute chaos. Got to the point where people were spying on servers and reporting back and posting screenshots from private groups. All these people used to be friends/follow each other but were now turning on each other. The worst posts were "Oh, ____ has a sister? I feel so sorry for the sister imagine what ____ must be doing to them." Or implying shippers were pedos/engaging in incest.

This all did a number on me as a 13/14 year old. I was terrified of the witch hunts and distanced myself from "proshippers" and censored my blog trying to get the antis favour. But what I didnt realise was this was the same mean girl tactics happening IRL high school and no amount of sucking up would allow me to become friends with them. The worst of it was when even "normal" ships like halbarry (two unrelated white cis dudes) were called a racist ship because westallen iris was black IN THE TV SHOW. The snake really does eat itself.

It kind of taught me that antis will never stop until everything is scorched earth and perfectly fitting their mold whatever that might be at the time. I feel regret and wish I would have stuck to my guns more but I was a teen at the time and the people doing/saying this were like 17-22 and should have known better.

Anyway, now I am an adult, I'm watching House of the Dragon and reading Clash of Kings and I'm happily enjoying Targcest and Aegond fics om Ao3. It feels good to read things as an adult without the background noise of fandom. Maybe the GOT fandom was bad back in the day and GOT Reddit also seems very elitist and annoying in places but I love being able to just read and write what I like without worrying about followers and censorship.

This might be a bit of a polarising post as some people I know with fibro have told me to straight up stop exercising, but basically, I have been overweight my whole life and without going into too much detail, recently went up a clothing size and it's just a bit too much. Dealing with a pain condition while finding it tough to clean myself, etc. not to mention excessive sweating in summer. I have also been following a lot of fittok influencers for a while and really impressed by their progress, and the muscle instagram its very impressive, I am under no delusions I'll achieve anywhere near their level of fitness but I was thinking, it would be cool to be a muscle mommy. Or at the very least strong and toned.

I have been trying to build up slowly (to very little exercise except daily walks and some yoga here and there) to doing about an 1-2 hours a day of combined exercises. Depending on how much energy I have, I do 20-30 minutes daily stretches (morning and evening yoga and some meditation), 20 minutes of Just Dance (absolutely wipes me out, can't seem to get beyond a couple of songs before I am drenched in sweat and out of breath) and 30-1 hour of light walking (around a park usually or shopping, etc.) plus daily activities around the house such as cleaning for about half an hour.

Even doing 1-2 hours a day, I am in so much pain! First few days = on fire. Then mid week I felt great, managed to push through, did a ton of dancing, now end of the week = sore and crashing.

I want to make the routine sustainable. Sometimes I get frustrated I can't just do it. I think maybe I am pushing myself too much, I have been pushing myself to do the hard poses in yoga and I can see my joints screaming. I mainly get pain in hips/hip joints, lower back and legs but also shoulders and neck (basically widespread pain, fibro suspected but been fighting my doctors for years for a diagnosis)

Does anyone have any advice? I have ordered some dumbbells for strength training. I want to work up to go going swimming at least once a fortnight, and getting back into martial arts (did karate until I was 14 before I gave it up, would like to go to a kung fu class eventually). What has helped you guys get back into fitness/strength training/weight loss?

Incredibly angry and stressed out today. I self-harmed after receiving my report and have a health coach meeting tomorrow at the job centre I am dreading as the health coach has already been condescending and aggressive towards me and she is the only health coach at my job centre so it's already off to a bad start.

I scored 0 points across all of the categories. I was so anxious that I threw up beforehand. It was recorded (apparently) and had a friend supporting me throughout. I explained clearly the impact of everything I thought. I even deflected some of her attempts to goad me into conversation when she started talking about her dog. Still they scored me zero. They even said I'm not an anxiety meds, never had an increase in dosage (I am on flouxetine, have been for a year, and had my dosage increased after a suicide attempt in December) also that I have no input from the CMHT despite it being the CMHT that advise me to apply for PIP in the first place as I told the assessor -__- plus I gave them a letter from my social prescriber explaining she is helping with mental health

I am getting a mandatory consideration but don't understand how they can just straight up lie. I am currently in intense crisis with my mental health. My life is falling apart, I am going through an employment tribunal with my current employer for disability discrimination, been signed off sick since March, have around £3000+ in credit card debt, was already relying on food banks and facing homelessness. Even the council's housing team told me they won't do anything to prevent me being homeless or rehouse me because they "are certain I will be awarded PIP" well clearly that's not the case

If anyone has any advice it would be appreciated. I feel so worn down and don't know what to do anymore. I am mostly alone save for my support worker helping me with some stuff, but mostly I am dealing with suicidal impulses every day while fighting off creditors and various parts of the government.

My only other choice atp if PIP doesn't work out is dying or leaving the country as I don't see a future here, I feel like the DWP is pushing me towards a mental breakdown.

This is kind of a long shot, but I'm really struggling at the moment. I've been signed off sick from work for 2 months after discrimination and bullying there, had a PIP assessment yesterday (went well but felt very anxious and nauseous throughout) but for the most part it's just waiting around/appealing decisions.

I applied for a disabled person's bus pass as having travel would really help. I am basically in a crisis situation, facing homelessness, etc. Being able to travel would allow me to get to food banks that are further away (keep missing the time slot for my local one), help me pick up stuff I need (been looking on freecycle as currently have no curtains for my flat just tape on the windows, and looking for plants to brighten the place up). I was rejected, I suspect because I don't receive PIP but have widespread chronic pain and fatigue that makes mobility hard.

I have also been looking into getting an electric bike but they're very expensive. I'm currently in about £3,000+ of debt and not keen to add to it when I am already living off food banks. I heard certain places off bike loans/free refurbished bike. Ideally I'm looking for an electric bike or adapted bike because of chronic pain, its hard to cycle for longer than 15 minutes. But it would help if I could maybe attach a basket to it or something, and then I could pick up stuff from freecycle/facebook marketplace and also do deliveries to get some income.

I am aware its a long shot but does anyone have any advice? I am appealing the bus pass decision. Also working with a citizens advice caseworker who might be able to help me out with white goods so I don't know if I should mention the bike? Thank you

Hey, with June coming up I would have thought it's move out date for students. From what I've seen furniture, food, clothes seem to get thrown away. I am nearly homeless, going through a financial crisis right now and a bit of a freegan. I've heard Hyde Park is where students mainly hanging out, just wondering if anyone knows when moving out day is? Obviously don't want to disturb the students while they're still living there or make them uncomfortable.

I have been trying to find food but only really found cardboard boxes for selling stuff on Vinted. Most bins around me are locked up or have trespassing signs. Anyone know any good spots?