u/extraethereal

i was a ucat retaker, first time round i got 2590b3 (old ucat system and if i exclude AR then i got 2040)

retook the ucat this year after 2 months of revision and 4-10 hours everyday only to get 2100 b3, i did get the steve variant and performed terrible in DM, but my actual base scores are quite similar to last year i took it even though i did significantly less revision

im considering grad entry dentistry because i dont think i can do another gap year, but im honestly quite concerned i wont go up much from here and it’ll be a waste though

which degree/industry, how much did you make straight out of uni, how long did it take you to progress and how much did it increase every year??

would love to know just to have an idea, i know it varies a lot by industry

My idea of comfortable is just not having to stress about bills/money, having enough money to save for pensions, an emergency fund and a good amount of disposable income to buy things without worrying if it’ll fit into my budget.

eventually hoping to get married and enter a dual income household, but i do want to support myself for the time being and have the option to still live a good lifestyle by myself

i personally don’t care about designer cars or luxury holidays, or living in zone 1-2 and i much value work life balance over grinding and making more.

i’m asking specifically for greater london by the way! zone 5-6ish, is £60k-£70k a reasonable goal?

dentistry has always been my long term dream, i took a gap year out for it, then got rejected, then started a different but also respectable healthcare course, then dropped out because i found absolutely no interest in it day to day, now im planning to take a 3rd gap year (i know)

but my issue is unfortunately yet again i haven’t scored very high on the admissions test, so ive basically been locked out from most dental unis due to it. now im considering dental hygiene and therapy because it seems that if you’re in the right practise, they’re utilised well

i’d honestly be happy with just doing dental hygiene therapy incase it doesn’t work out but i was considering graduate entry dentistry as an option too, to increase my scope of practise

but this would mean effectively id spend 7 years in uni, and id be 28 by the time i finish because im already 21 after these 3 years

not to mention the incredible debt im going to wrack up (8 years of funding)

do you think its worth it? or stupid? i have the grades needed to go into med and my admission test would be competitive for it but i honestly don’t find much interest in it and im not sure im well suited to the position. am i being silly choosing 7 years of uncertainty over med.

i also have grades good enough for competitive russel group unis but i truly cant see myself doing anything but dentistry, my year in a different course showed me that.

i’d appreciate your guys honest opinion on what i should do!

i got rejected from dentistry yet again 3rd time so im considering giving up💔 and i even started and then dropped out of optometry because i had no interest, now i’m considering all other possible options, im basically taking a 3rd gap year because i cant make up my mind. ive wanted to do dentistry since i was 15, but clearly it isnt meant for me when ive been rejected so many times.

i know law is quite different but i honestly like the idea of day to day life aspect of being a solicitor, ive done some research in it and it seems like something id be interested in. i also like how it doesn’t lock you into one role, like law is a broad degree so i could apply to many different graduate schemes

Humanities has also always been my strong suit despite me always previously choosing a science route, i got 9s in gcse english with no effort, A* in sociology with little revision. it just comes naturally to me, so i feel like i would suit the strengths required for a law degree better.

i also have competitive enough grades A*AB (but im contextual for all the top unis so id most likely get a contextual offer), all 7-9s at gcse. i did a few questions to practise on the LNAT and i honestly found it quite enjoyable and not too tricky. i was considering applying to LSE, bristol, warwick and nottingham if i did apply to law

i am afraid of the lack of guarantee after completing your degree, and the level of networking required. i’ve always previously considered healthcare because you’re guaranteed a job by the end of it but now im trying to broaden my scope to see if there’s something else that is better suited. I’m afraid i’ll be unable to get a job after uni as i’ve seen so many other people struggle with. I’m aware law is becoming more oversaturated by the minute and i’m not sure if i want to put myself in that position.

based on this do you think law is something i should consider?

I think culturally we all know on average white people expect their children to contribute a lot more to the household if they’re living at home, i’ve seen it so often esp on reddit that you’re kind of expected to at least pay rent/groceries if you’re above a certain age and still living with parents.

As it’s more common culturally to stay at home with parents as south asians even as adults, i was wondering if any of u have faced the same expectations? Or does the dynamic not change as much?

asking as a 20 year old who has recently had to take another unplanned gap year so i’m living at home again, i feel like i should be doing more than just chores but idk if it’s expected of me or normal 😭 i don’t want to feel like a bum. i’m probably going to work full time and be fully responsible for all my costs which i can’t rn because i have no income.

i’m always in the pursuit of being more, more pretty more funny, more social, more likeable, more sure of where my life is going. where does this want for more end and my happiness start? everyday feels like a constant reminder of how i’m not enough yet. enough for who? i’m not even sure anymore, ive never been enough for myself, i feel like i dissapoint everyone just by existing. have i ever verbally been told that? no, but i feel it in the polite disinterest of my peers, of my failing grades once again, in my uncertainty for the future. i wish i could say im content with who i am, that ill stop chasing a version of myself which ive dreamed of since i was 11 making pinterest boards of my ‘ideal self’ but i can’t let that fantasy go. its been apart of me for as long as i can remember, my ideal self so drastically different from me in the present. giving up on the idea of being better, which is what being content with myself now feels like doing, feels like giving up on the adulthood my childhood self dreamed of. not that i knew much of adulthood then, i thought turning 16 was enough to unlock everything i wanted, friends, acceptance, a life worth living. no doubt informed by the countless books and movies i used to watch where the main character was 16, why was it always 16 anyways? then turning that ‘magical’ age realising nothing had changed, i was still a child in many aspects and still the quiet shy child i had always been. as if id learnt nothing then i continued moving the goalpost, i thought maybe when i’m 18 or 20, ill be proper adult then. when i start university, if that doesn’t change me what will? now i am that age and feeling like ive let my past self down. i feel like i could have a conversation with my fourteen year old self and still have too much in common, i was meant to grow by now. be better, be funnier, be less scared of being disliked, stop feeling like i should be apologising for existing. i’m not sure what i hope to achieve by writing this, i still have that naive hope, maybe when im 25 ill look back on this and feel tenderness for my past self, with enough time to reflect and change, or maybe ill stay exactly the same.

i’m 20 turning 21 but i have the social skills of a 14 year old, i also look a lot younger than my age which makes people not take me seriously but even more so because im so incredibly hesitant and anxious in my everyday life

i really struggle with setting boundaries, i let people get away with a lot more than they should because i feel like even if i tried i wouldnt be taken seriously

im also very soft spoken and also short so i feel like everything is working against me.
i feel like even if i did try to be assertive i wouldnt be taken seriously because of how i come across.

i have no idea what to do i really dont want to be like this for the rest of my life, 21 is already too old to be acting like this. most people perceive me to be a teenager and it makes me really insecure

sometimes i feel like i don’t have permission to exist if that makes sense? like i overthink every small decision and put everyone on a pedestal above myself, in my eyes im much less compared to everyone else. sometimes i overthink how im standing even or walking it’s honestly exhausting living this way i wish i could just exist

i’m aware of these thoughts and ive had them since i was 13-14 but i dont know how to get over them

my gp has put me on setraline but im really scared to take it because of the side effects

i feel so stupid maths has never been my strong suit and i keep hearing people say the maths is soo easy and u can get 100% easily untimed that’s not the case for me and it makes me feel so so stupid

especially the harder speed distance time questions,
im genuinely crashing out trying to work this out. it isn’t clicking,

i barely scraped a 7 in gcse maths and its been 4 years since ive done that ive never felt more stupid

i’m even watched joyel’s videos but even his explanations don’t make sense to me

genuinely in tears rn trying to figure this out, my qr score is improving but i’m still only at 20/36 when im aiming for 33 😭 im 20 rn crying over gcse maths 💔💔

i’ve wanted to ever since i was 15, then i flunked my y12 mock grades so my plan was always to reapply on my
gap year, i did that and got rejected because of my low ucat.

then i went to uni to do optometry because i didn’t want to ‘waste’ another year, but i ended up failing my modules and being withdrawn from the course,

my heart always leads me back to dentistry but idk if it’s worth applying now after my academic history and my chances being even lower

furthermore, my grades are A*AB so my options are limited, i applied as a contextual applicant on my gap year

realistically there’s only 3 unis i can apply to right now, and even then the chances of getting in are slim

id appreciate any advice, idk whether it’s time to let this dream go after 5 years and start being realistic

ive considered all sorts of other degrees, healthcare, non healthcare, i always find my way back to dentistry

i’m in a difficult position with my academics rn, i did a year of optometry and got withdrawn due to poor examination results, now i’m considering other degrees that might suit me better

law seems like something that would interest me, ive considered it before and it seems like it’s suited to my strengths, i was thinking of applying to some of the top unis and hopefully my a levels grades (A*AB) and me being a contextual student would help.

but im more worried about the jobs after uni, ive always considered healthcare degrees before because of the job security but now as im doing more research into non healthcare courses im worried about getting a job after uni.

for law specifically, how important it is to go to a top unis? which unis would you recommend me to apply to? how hard is it to get a job after?

for context i don’t want to be a barrister or anything in a courtroom. i was more interested in property law or compliance or something of the sort

i’d appreciate any comments or advice as im so completely new to this

i take full responsibility, i never went to lectures and barely revised.

my heart wasn’t in my course,
i only chose it after a gap year, after i was rejected from my dream course (Dentistry)

but i just got my results back today, i failed 3/4 modules and they said ive been withdrawn from my course? any advice at all i feel so so lost i dont know what to do

i dont think ill be allowed to resit my exams or retake the year even

our friend group doesn’t know because it was very secret between us, bc of unrelated reasons.

how the hell am i meant to get over them if they’re always there; im going to look for different housing but other than that idk what else to do.

i was extremely close with this person before we became friends so it’ll seem weird if we just stop talking

the housing was sorted out before we properly got together, i’m in uni for context

i’m so fucked 😭

it wasn’t anyone’s fault nothing went wrong and that’s the worst part

we entered the relationship knowing it had a expiry date, it couldn’t last forever because we come from backgrounds where it never could.

it happened over text after some distance

i can’t even begin to process this we were together for 7 months and my heart physically feels like it’s splitting apart she was everything to me i loved her with my entire hard

i was always an avoidant before this, i never let anyone get close cuz i was scared of getting hurt, which is why it was stupid of me to enter this relationship in the first place

i have no idea what to do i’ve never been heartbroken because ive never been in love before

it wasn’t anyone’s fault nothing went wrong and that’s the worst part

we entered the relationship knowing it had a expiry date, it couldn’t last forever because we come from backgrounds where it never could.

it happened over text after some distance

i can’t even begin to process this.
we were together for 7 months
my heart physically feels like it’s splitting apart, she was everything to me, i loved her with my entire hard

i was always an avoidant before this, i never let anyone get close cuz i was scared of getting hurt, which is why it was stupid of me to enter this relationship in the first place

i have no idea what to do i’ve never been heartbroken because ive never been in love before

Me and my girlfriend have been together for around 8 months.

For the majority of our relationship she was really affectionate. She’d randomly tell me she loved me, say she missed me, use pet names, get excited to see me, and generally made me feel really wanted.

Over the last few weeks though, something just feels off.

She still replies to my messages and she’s not rude or anything, but the conversations feel a lot flatter. We don’t really have those affectionate interactions anymore, I don’t feel pursued or desired like I used to, and sometimes it honestly feels more like I’m talking to a friend than my girlfriend.

Nothing huge has happened between us, which is why I’m struggling. It’s more that the overall energy feels different and I can’t work out whether I’m imagining it or whether something has actually changed.

I know I’m someone who overthinks and my self-esteem isn’t great, so I’m aware I could be reading into things too much. At the same time, this feeling has been around long enough that I don’t think it’s come completely out of nowhere.

The problem is I don’t know whether this is just what happens after the honeymoon phase, whether she’s just busy/stressed, or whether it’s an early sign that her feelings have changed.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? Was it just a phase or was your gut right?
I genuinely want honest opinions, even if they’re not what I want to hear.

as someone who relies heavily on makeup and styling to be perceived as attractive, this weather isn’t doing me any favours.

as soon as i step outside, my concealers all melted off, my hair immediately loses volume (not that i have much to begin with my hair is very straight and fine), and i start sweating buckets and feel very unsexy

as a brown girlie with obvious hyperpigmentation around my mouth + chin going without concealer is basically impossible, but that’s the first place i sweat and it looks horrific within 10 mins, any makeup tips regarding covering hyperpigmentation without thick layers or too much makeup would be appreciated

do you ladies have any tips for remaining hot in warm weather? anything is appreciated i feel like a troll everytime i go out now 😭

from the outside it probably looks like i have a perfect social life, lots of friends who i post regularly im with big groups of different people all the time but the reality is a lot of the girls i only rly go out for nights out. i do interact them regularly but more than half the time im drunk and when i am im a compeltlet better more social more funny version of myself. obviously i dont want to be drunk all the time so the solution isnt that.

i lack that many actually true friendships, yes i talk to many people on a regular basis and people want to be friends with me but everytime i try making convo i feel like im letting them down and im the most awkward unlikeable weirdo to ever exist

i have about 2 actual friendships right now and in my course (im at uni) i basically don’t really know anyone that well. and when i do try to talk to people oh my god its so awkward i hate myself for it

in public it’s like im afraid to exist, im always quick to iver apologise, i go insanely quiet i can even feel in my movements im hesitant i dont know what to do i cant do anything with certainty i second guess my every move

i want to get better and i was supposed to in first year uni but not that much has changed at all i still feel like the person ive always been.

one of my friends even told me recently i seem closed off when im sober but i hate that im this way i dont know how to fix it i wish i could just be myself around everyone instead of feeling like there’s something wrong with me all the time

im 21 and its about time i dont have the same shy personality ive had forever but ive been like this since i was a kid i dont know any other way out of it

idk if this was just a vent or if i want advice

from the outside it probably looks like i have a perfect social life, lots of friends who i post regularly im with big groups of different people all the time but the reality is a lot of the girls i only rly go out for nights out. i do interact them regularly but more than half the time im drunk and when i am im a compeltlet better more social more funny version of myself. obviously i dont want to be drunk all the time so the solution isnt that.

i lack that many actually true friendships, yes i talk to many people on a regular basis and people want to be friends with me but everytime i try making convo i feel like im letting them down and im the most awkward unlikeable weirdo to ever exist

i have about 2 actual friendships right now and in my course (im at uni) i basically don’t really know anyone that well. and when i do try to talk to people oh my god its so awkward i hate myself for it

in public it’s like im afraid to exist, im always quick to iver apologise, i go insanely quiet i can even feel in my movements im hesitant i dont know what to do i cant do anything with certainty i second guess my every move

i want to get better and i was supposed to in first year uni but not that much has changed at all i still feel like the person ive always been.

one of my friends even told me recently i seem closed off when im sober but i hate that im this way i dont know how to fix it i wish i could just be myself around everyone instead of feeling like there’s something wrong with me all the time

im 21 and its about time i dont have the same shy personality ive had forever but ive been like this since i was a kid i dont know any other way out of it

idk if this was just a vent or if i want advice