u/hannelore_pfeffer8

"Not my type" is not a valid answer. Explain why the person is not your type. For example: "i only like brunettes and they where blonde" etc.

I will start:

1. No smile. Only pictures from below the chin staring into the distance. Looks unfriendly. Left swipe.

2. Almost left swipe. First picture in the car with sunglasses. Second picture from the back of the head staring into the ocean. 3 picture saved it. Nice smile end pretty blue eyes. Right swipe.

3. Left swipe. No smile, no profile information, to far away. Over 100km.

4. Left swipe. 3 times the same grainy old gym pic a little more zoomed in. 4 picture is the same person but significantly older. 5 picture is food.

5. Left swipe. Looks like a fake profile.

​

“I don’t know what you expect me to say” is usually just a lazy excuse to avoid conflict, avoid engaging with what was said, and most importantly, avoid having to reflect on your own behavior or change anything.

Hallo Leute,

nun der dritte Post von mir in kürzester Zeit, aber ich muss noch mal etwas loswerden.

Ich hatte das Glück, dass ich auf meine letzten beiden Posts einige Anfragen bekommen habe. Aber gefühlt *neun von zehn Leuten, die mich angeschrieben haben, haben kaum bis gar keine Fragen gestellt.* huh?

Und ganz ehrlich: Habt ihr verlernt, wie man sich unterhält? Was ein Hin und Her ist? Wie man Fragen stellt? Oder überhaupt neugierig auf sein Gegenüber ist?

Wenn ihr jemanden anschreibt, weil ihr diese Person kennenlernen wollt, dann verstehe ich nicht, wie das funktionieren soll, wenn ihr nichts fragt. Ich stelle eine Frage, bekomme eine Antwort. Ich stelle die nächste Frage, bekomme wieder eine Antwort. Und so weiter. Sorry, aber das ist keine Unterhaltung. Das ist ein Interview, und ich habe mich nicht als Interviewerin beworben.

Eine Unterhaltung besteht für mich daraus, dass beide etwas beitragen. Beide fragen. Beide erzählen. Beide greifen Dinge auf. Beide zeigen Interesse. Ich möchte nicht die alleinige Verantwortung dafür tragen, dass ein Gespräch überhaupt weitergeht.

Und nein, natürlich erwarte ich nicht nach jedem Satz eine pflichtbewusste Gegenfrage. Aber ein Mindestmaß an Neugier auf die Person, die man angeblich kennenlernen möchte, sollte doch wirklich nicht zu viel verlangt sein.

Also ernst gemeinte Frage: Ist das inzwischen normal? Schreibt man Leute an, um sie kennenzulernen, und wartet dann darauf, dass sie das komplette Gespräch alleine führen? 😅

Anfragen bitte nur von linken Menschen. Danke.

So many men complain about hypergamy.

I don't believe in it. Women are attracted to an enormous variety of men. There is no single male ideal. There are no 5/10 or 10/10.

What many men consistently underestimate is presentation. A real smile, an individual style, and looking kind, approachable, and trustworthy matter far more than they think. Yes many women like confidence. But confidence doesn't come from looks. It comes from knowing and liking yourself.

Instead, countless men build dating profiles to look tough, emotionless, and stoic. Their profiles often seem designed to impress other men, not women.

But let's assume, for the sake of argument, that hypergamy is real. Then what exactly is the alternative you're asking for? That women date men they aren't attracted to? That they force themselves into relationships they don'twant to be in?

Why would anyone want to be chosen by someone who doesn't genuinely desire them?

Edit: y'all are so triggered. Read what i wrote. I never said a smile is ENOUGH or ALL you need. You need much more. But a smile, empathy and good presentation can make a BIG ✨️difference✨️

View Poll

Bruche alti handys. S sött eifach mindestens android11 druf ha. Egal i wellem zuestand. Grissene bildschirm, kratzer etc. Krieg ich sowas im broki? Oder süsch wo? Revendo und so het nur "gueti" handys

​

Stop looking for hacks.

Most of us aren't waiting for the perfect pickup line or some psychology trick. We want to feel safe, respected, and actually enjoy talking to you.

Yeah, appearance matters. But not in the way a lot of guys think. Not so much physical as the manosphere will make you believe.

Take care of yourself. Have good hygiene. Find a hairstyle that suits you. Wear clothes that fit your personality instead of trying to look like every other guy on Instagram. Develop your own style. Look like someone that actually reflects who you are.

And have fun with it. Seriously. Experiment. Have the courage to look like an individual. Try different clothes, different hair, different glasses if you wear them. Finding your style should be something you enjoy, not another chore. Keep working on yourself until looking in the mirror becomes something you actually like doing.

A good question to ask yourself is: Would I date me?

Confidence matters too. But confidence isn't acting like you're better than everyone else. It isn't being loud or pretending you don't care.

Real confidence is knowing who you are. Being comfortable with yourself. Staying true to yourself even when things are awkward or don't go your way. Being able to hear "no" without falling apart or getting angry.

Be kind. Be funny. Have empathy. Have your own life outside dating.

And empathy... guys seriously underestimate how attractive that is.

Being able to listen. To understand someone else's feelings. To respect boundaries. To notice when someone is uncomfortable. To care about another person instead of only thinking about yourself and doing all of this with a goal in mind. Those things matter so much.

They don't just make you a better partner. They make you a better human being.

And please stay away from Red Pill content.

It tells lonely guys that women are all the same, that they're manipulative, that kindness doesn't work, and that you need to play mind games or push boundaries. That's not how healthy relationships start.

I've seen guys go down that rabbit hole. They become angry, suspicious and start seeing every woman as the enemy. They stop listening to women completely because they're told we're all lying.

That's not confidence. That's insecurity dressed up as confidence.

If someone tells you that millions of women are secretly the same and all trying to deceive you, they're selling you an ideology, not helping you date.

Women aren't a cheat code. We're just people.

Talk to us like people. Listen to us. Respect us. Some women will like you, some won't. That's normal. Dating isn't about convincing every woman to want you. It's about finding someone who's excited to be with you for who you are. But for that- you have to get to know yourself. And that won't happen if you try to walk the same path every other man is walking and trying to reproduce other men's success.

Edit: i didn't use Ai. I use an translator app that helps make texts cohesive