i have incredibly low confidence/self esteem around the way i look. i know i’m not conventionally attractive and it’s one that gets to me a lot as a woman. but i’m sick of pitying myself, i’m sick of constantly talking bad about myself, i just want to feel pretty. how do you guys keep your confidence boosted?
thank you!!
before anyone comments, i know my hair isn’t long now but the goal is to grow it longer!
this is my hair now, it’s got quite a bit of breakage and generally it’s on the drier side due to it going through MANY rounds of dye, especially at the bottom. however, i only plan to redo roots atp and keep it this colour for a while.
i’ve always wanted long hair but because of the reason mentioned above ive always had to cut of the ends as they ended up dried to bits.
so i just wanted to know - do we have any advice on how to keep colour treated hair long healthy and with minimal breakage?
(this pic is 3 days since a proper wash btw, washing it later tonight and i’ll update / repost if you guys would rather see it washed)
i did have two small chocolate bars alongside the other sweet treats at the end but didn’t get a photo, total cal count still around ~1100 tho
after telling a few people about my home life i was redirected to this sub and reading other people’s experiences has been helpful but also has still left me conflicted. i know abuse is not a competition, but it feels like some of you have it a lot worse than i ever did which is why i want your input (as in i dont know if i’m downplaying how bad it is or if its really just normal parental behaviour)
i’ve always had a tough time with my mother and i’ve started to suspect it’s a personality disorder, i’ll go ahead and list some things that have happened and based on these maybe you guys can help me decide if my mother is or isn’t a narcissist. (if you want further context feel free to ask)
- accused my dad of abuse/being a necrophile for no reason other than she was mad at him
- accuses my consistently cousin of being a pedophile (he’s 14) because his older half brother is. she no longer gifts the 14yo things for his birthday because she just “doesn’t like him”
- made me break up with a boyfriend because she had a dream he would murder me (she claims she has prophetic dreams)
- never apologises for anything, for instance lost my birth certificate after attempting to get a drivers license done for me and would not admit to it until i made an idiot of myself calling the DVLA telling them they had lost it. did not apologise obviously, just told me she had it the whole time
- gets into arguments with everyone and will never admit fault. by everyone i mean strangers on the street, family, friends (which she’s lost all of as she kept starting fights), she gets terrible road rage at anything and everything. obviously every single time it’s the other persons fault
- always cussing everyone out, name calling etc.
- once left me crying begging for her to forgive me on the kitchen floor after she argued with a stranger and i said they were in the right
- had to paint my walls green and beige because “white/cream gets dirty too easy” despite specifically wanting lighter colour walls as it’s easier to redecorate around. i was 13 at the time so it’s not like i was a toddler who would scribble on walls, parents have white walls in their bedroom
- is a chronic gaslighter. for example, claiming it was my dad who wanted to buy a new car from the dealership when we all distinctly remember it being her who wanted it and will now pick fights about finances blaming my dad for the car payments. or even with smaller things like who was dressed/ready to go out first and who is waiting on who
there’ll be other things i’ve forgotten/not thought to mention, but that’s just what comes to mind.
all that being said, i still am fed, i have a roof over my head, she tells me she loves me all the time, she buys me things most of the time, calls me pretty, always let me experiment with clothes and hair etc. 90% of the time she’s lovely, and i know she does care about me. even in arguments she usually wants it to be me and her vs my dad and will do whatever she can to get me on her side, like be extra nice or buy me things
i’m very conflicted, is she a narcissist? or is all this stuff normal? am i overreacting?
this isn’t all of it obviously, just what i managed to catch.
i’ve been under an extreme amount of stress recently and noticed my hairline is looking thinner than normal, what do we think?
also, do we have any ways to stop or slow the hair loss? other than de-stressing, i’m working on that lol
i (18F) have been dating my boyfriend (20M) for 5 months now. we do video calls, we’re on call for hours a day, we’ve met twice in person, but i still haven’t spoken to any of his friends.
the closest thing to meeting his friends is when once we were doing a study call (we’re both still in education) one of his friends walked past and waved at the camera, and i waved back.
i’m not overly bothered by it which is why i’ve not specifically asked about it and he doesn’t seem to mention anything about it either.
he has not met my “friends” as (truthfully speaking) i don’t have any close friends rn so there’s not really anyone for him to meet. we both have difficult relationships with our family so also no meeting anyone there.
in my circumstance i really don’t think it’s a red flag but a LOT of people on here say it is so i think i just wanted some external input, especially because i know it’s a red flag when it happens to others but justify it for myself.
so do we think this is bad? or is it understandable?
i didn’t think to weigh it out but it’s on a small plate (size comparison is the form you can say, it’s a normal size fork) i’m just having trouble estimating considering the peanut satay sauce.
it’s from a chinese takeaway, unsurprisingly
i’ve had terrible sugar and chocolate cravings, it’s having less so of an impact on my kcals but more on my nutrition.
i’ll frequently pick a 250 kcal chocolate bar over something healthier, is these any way to make the change easier??
18F i have always struggled with self image because i’m no where near conventionally attractive, however i got into a relationship 5 months ago and i’m scared my insecurities will ruin something wonderful.
for context, i am genuinely unattractive: big wide heavy jaw and chin, big round nose, low brow ridge, big forehead, broken damaged and thin hair, broad shoulders narrow hips combo, carry all my weight on my stomach… the list could go on
i have no idea how my boyfriend is attractive to me and i really want to believe he is but how on earth do i accept it when everything i’ve ever known about myself is that i’m horrible to look at? what can i do to like how i look?
i don’t want to lose the only man to ever make me happy because i hated myself too much to let myself be happy.
greek yoghurt and banana slices with honey, freddo for the chocolate cravings
i’ve been dating my boyfriend for about 5 months now and it’s been going great but i genuinely can’t shake the feeling that he’s just better than me in every way. let me break it down:
boyfriend:
me:
don’t get me wrong, i’m not convinced this man is perfect and i’m not putting him on a mental pedestal. there’s things he’s done and said and things about his past before he met me that prove he’s not perfect and i’ve never thought so, but even then i just know he’s too good for me.
at this point it just feels like i’m waiting for this to fall through because i know he can do better.
chocolate brownie cake thing
i’m 18 and waiting to go off to university in september. i have two toys, a rabbit and a vibrator i got the rabbit about 3 months ago and the vibrator last week. about a month ago i left the vibrator visible in my room (i usually keep it hidden in a bag) and she asked me about it. the talk went well overall i thought but recently i asked her about how she was doing and she kept saying things in a weird, secretive way and after prodding her a bit she said she went to go check if i moved the rabbit from my bag and found the vibrator and said she’s concerned about why i have so many sex toys.
i was completely stunned, it felt like such a violation of my privacy knowing she was purposely snooping looking for my toys for seemingly no reason. i feel so weird now, why would she be concerned about it?? i don’t understand??
i don’t know what to do. i don’t feel comfortable living with her sometimes (she’s also bipolar and unmedicated) and i feel like my privacy has been completely violated.
does anyone have advice on how to handle this from now on??
EDIT: both times i’ve spoken to her she’s made subtle comments alluding to me being a cam girl secretly but VERY covertly
it feels like any task i have to do that requires logic i can’t do. i get good grades in english-related subjects but anything that requires logic or common sense i can’t do man’s it makes me feel so stupid.
over the past few days i’ve had a lot of instances with my boyfriend where i’ve felt like an idiot, e.g playing games together and i keep forgetting the controls, forgetting my lefts and rights, getting stuck on logic puzzles, not understanding concepts he explains to me etc.
is there anything i can do not to feel so stupid all the time? is there something i can do to make myself feel smarter or to get smarter?
it feels like any task i have to do that requires logic i can’t do. i get good grades in english-related subjects but anything that requires logic or common sense i can’t do and it makes me feel so stupid.
over the past few days i’ve had a lot of instances with my boyfriend where i’ve felt like an idiot, e.g playing games together and i keep forgetting the controls, forgetting my lefts and rights, getting stuck on logic puzzles, not understanding concepts he explains to me etc.
is there anything i can do not to feel so stupid all the time? is there something i can do to make myself feel smarter or to get smarter?
i’m slowly making my way out of a depressive episode. i’ve had periods of going ~3 days without showers, skipping brushing my teeth, not changing bedsheets, wearing the same clothes everyday etc.
it’s one of those things where the depression sets it off but then makes me feel so much worse.
as one of the ways i want to get better i’m hoping to improve my hygiene and get into some small routines around it so i remember and make sure to do the basics.
does anyone have any tips or routines or anything that could help me get into a pattern of doing these regularly?
spaghetti bolognese, no veg sides :(
he calls every vegetable disgusting and makes faces at me when i try give him fruits. offered mango and he just pulled a face and called it disgusting. how do i get him to eat fruits and vegetables?
saved the milkshake as a post hike sweet treat :)
my parents have saved up about 6k to help me through uni, does anyone have any advice on how to use it, how much do i save and spend and if so what on?
i dont want to share too much however my loan will be on the slightly higher side as we’re a moderately low income household. if anyone has any further questions though i’m happy to answer