u/muralpainting

i'm 19 and i've been out for 6 years now socially, 10 months ago yesterday i started t and my name change went through. yay for my medical transition ! i pass 100% of the time to strangers. since coming out my family has been distant and basically treated me like an "other".

any time i speak about my transition or i correct someone on my pronouns, i get yelled at and blamed and told im a horrible person essentially. a few weeks ago my grandparents came down for my little brothers graduation (we live in florida, they live in wisconsin) and the whole time my grandmother was calling me she and even called me and my fiancé (also ftm) "girls". after she left i shot her a text telling her im not mad but it was really upsetting to hear her say things like that and it hurt my feelings. my grandmother proceeded to tell me she's pissed at me and wants to cut all communication with me because i'm unreasonable and pushing an agenda. after i told my mother, my mother told me i was lying and over exaggerating until i sent her screenshots of our conversation, and my mom never said she was sorry for calling me a liar and never said my grandmother was in the wrong. my mom continued to blame me because "i over explained" or "i came off passive aggressive" or "i always have to have the last word" or something like that. it has to be my fault for some reason, even though i told my grandmother i understand it can be difficult and im not angry at all with her.

my mom wants all of us to go up north to visit my grandparents and i said no, not until my grandmother speaks to me directly. my mom basically said once again that im being dramatic and my grandmother did nothing wrong. the issue is my entire family prides themselves in being woke and pro-lgbt and everything, just not when it comes to me. my mom also has always had a hard time with my transition and only stopped using my deadname about 3 years ago, but still refuses to call me "he". we got into an argument a few weeks ago due to her saying she doesn't need to ever call me "he" if she doesn't want to because it's not up to me and once again brought up me "pushing my agenda". i told her she sounded like a conservative and she shut up fast, but it stuck with me.

i have moved out and i live in arizona for school, i only come home for breaks. im genuinely not sure how i can combat this or what to do, as i rely on my family for parts of my finances for school and i cant go no contact because of it.

edit: id like to add that im 99% financially independent, but that 1% of the time that i absolutely need help my family will step in. i have multiple jobs and pay for school with grants, loans, scholarships, and my own hard earned money. i try my hardest to communicate with my grandparents as little as possible, other than when i absolutely need to.

i'm 19 and i've been out for 6 years now socially, 10 months ago today i started t and my name change went through. i pass 100% of the time to strangers. since coming out my family has been distant and basically treated me like an "other".

any time i speak about my transition or i correct someone on my pronouns, i get yelled at and blamed and told im a horrible person essentially. a few weeks ago my grandparents came down for my little brothers graduation (we live in florida, they live in wisconsin) and the whole time my grandmother was calling me she and even called me and my fiancé (also ftm) "girls". after she left i shot her a text telling her im not mad but it was really upsetting to hear her say things like that and it hurt my feelings. my grandmother proceeded to tell me she's pissed at me and wants to cut all communication with me because i'm unreasonable and pushing an agenda. after i told my mother, my mother told me i was lying and over exaggerating until i sent her screenshots of our conversation, and my mom never said she was sorry for calling me a liar and never said my grandmother was in the wrong. my mom continued to blame me because "i over explained" or "i came off passive aggressive" or "i always have to have the last word" or something like that. it has to be my fault for some reason, even though i told my grandmother i understand it can be difficult and im not angry at all with her.

my mom wants all of us to go up north to visit my grandparents and i said no, not until my grandmother speaks to me directly. my mom basically said once again that im being dramatic and my grandmother did nothing wrong. the issue is my entire family prides themselves in being woke and pro-lgbt and everything, just not when it comes to me. my mom also has always had a hard time with my transition and only stopped using my deadname about 3 years ago, but still refuses to call me "he". we got into an argument a few weeks ago due to her saying she doesn't need to ever call me "he" if she doesn't want to because it's not up to me and once again brought up me "pushing my agenda". i told her she sounded like a conservative and she shut up fast, but it stuck with me.

i have moved out and i live in arizona for school, i only come home for breaks. im genuinely not sure how i can combat this or what to do, as i rely on my family for parts of my finances for school and i cant go no contact because of it.

my cat odie is constantly wanting food, always meowing and begging. my cats have been in the care of my family for a few months while i worked out bringing them with me to campus across the country, so they've been free fed (3 cats). since i got home a month-ish ago ive been schedule feeding them a set amount.

odie has not been very happy with the change as you can imagine lol. he eats fairly quick but not fast, drinks lots and lots of water, and never seems to get "full". today he's been eating slower and hasn't finished his dinner yet, which is very odd for him. my other cat rocket doesn't get along very well with him sometimes as when i brought odie home about 2 years ago odie would beat him up over food, and now rocket is kinda iffy about him and will swat him sometimes but that's it.

i'm thinking maybe it's just stress from rocket swatting at him? but it doesn't happen very often to the point it might be that, but odie has been hiding more often which isn't exactly like him, he's a velcro cat. i've been giving all of the boys treats today so it could be that, but i'm basically just wondering if this is something to be worried about? if it keeps happening im definitely bringing him to the vet, but im just curious if this is something i should be immediately concerned about. he's still drinking water and using the litter box, he's been sneezing quite a bit lately but that's it. he's only 2 years old so its a little concerning.

EDIT: i gave him a tube treat and he went crazy over it and ate it, so maybe he's just sick of his food. the food he has rn isn't his regular food, and i got him his normal purina which he starts eating again tomorrow.

i've been looking for tripp nyc pants on depop for a long time now, and i've found some in my price range. i've reverse image searched the listing i'm wanting to buy and their other listings. the listing pics i want came up a few times from other places, but that's happened a lot when ive reverse image searched different listings too. their other listings nothing has popped up. they've also sold another pair of these pants for about the same price of the ones im looking at. they're new to selling so don't have any reviews and i'm a bit weary. any thoughts?

i've been on t for 9 months and live between arizona and florida, and work between arizona and alabama. i'm a college student, so i'm in az for school and live in fl during breaks where i work in al.

i've FINALLY started passing 99.9% of the time to customers and random people in public. i've never once been called ma'am or a woman since summer started, and it feels amazing. my family still isn't accepting and it's been 6+ years but that's not even worrying me right now.

i even wore tape to the beach and swam shirtless in FLORIDA and nothing happened. life is amazing sometimes.

i've been out for 6+ years and been on t for 9 months (my name got legally changed on the same day i started t as well).

my family prides themselves in being woke and democratic, my grandparents even work the polls during the elections. they're very pro-lgbt and pro-trans until it comes to me.

my mom refused to call me my name or he/him until maybe 3 years after i came out? maybe 4. she was getting okay-ish but still deadnaming me and misgendering me behind my back, but after i started t she got a little better. she gendered me correctly and everything during winter break, i was about 3 or 4 months on t? well when i came home for summer break she started calling me she/her to my face randomly and only posted pre-transition and pre-t pics of me on facebook for my birthday. very very weird. but she calls my fiancé and all of my trans friends by their pronouns. she says she supports me too but...obviously not. we work together during my breaks and got my fiancé a job with us too, and everyone at work calls me she/her even though i have a whole mustache because of my mom. my fiancé gets called he/him though because my mom didn't call him a girl when he started like she did with me. because of course.

my grandparent came into town for my brother graduation, yay fun cool ! until they started misgendering me AND my fiancé (who they didn't know pre-transition). again extremely weird. they say they support me but again, obviously not.

i'm so sick of their conditional support and being so weird about me. they don't care about anyone else being trans, other than me. i've texted my grandmother about what happened during her visit and im waiting to hear back, but haven't spoken to my mom yet. maybe when she gets back from work i will.

so i turned 19 yesterday (yay me) and my mom always posts pictures on facebook of me for my birthday and writes out a whole thing. it's really sweet, but this year is different and idk why.

i just got back from my 2nd semester of college after being gone for ~5 months. i started t and changed my name almost 9 months ago on the same day. she's been okay with my pronouns and has used my name for about 3/4 years now (i've been out for 6 years).

i came back to my job the other day where she's my manager because i work there over all my breaks, and she randomly started calling me she/her in front of my face. a lot of people at work think im a cis woman because she always called me a girl before i got there, and ive known them all for so long that i don't even know how to bring it up to anyone. i have a full mustache currently btw, and her and my coworkers are still calling me she. my mom hasn't had any issues with my pronouns for a while until now. on top of that, today she posted pictures of me only pre-transition and/or pre-t for my BIRTHDAY which is really really weird because she has pictures of me now and even posted one a few weeks ago.

im really uncomfortable with everything happening and i genuinely don't know what im supposed to do. does anyone have any suggestions? or has anyone experienced something similar? what should i do?

so i turn 19 today (yay me) and my mom always posts pictures on facebook of me for my birthday and writes out a whole thing. it's really sweet, but this year is different and idk why.

i just got back from my 2nd semester of college after being gone for ~5 months. i started t and changed my name almost 9 months ago on the same day. she's been okay with my pronouns and has used my name for about 3/4 years now (i've been out for 6 years).

i came back to my job yesterday where she's my manager because i work there over all my breaks, and she randomly started calling me she/her in front of my face. a lot of people at work think im a cis woman because she always called me a girl before i got there, and ive known them all for so long that i don't even know how to bring it up to anyone. i have a full mustache currently btw, and her and my coworkers are still calling me she. my mom hasn't had any issues with my pronouns for a while until now. on top of that, today she posted pictures of me only pre-transition and/or pre-t for my BIRTHDAY which is really really weird because she has pictures of me now and even posted one a few weeks ago.

im really uncomfortable with everything happening and i genuinely don't know what im supposed to do. does anyone have any suggestions? or has anyone experienced something similar?

so i turn 19 today (yay me) and my mom always posts pictures on facebook of me for my birthday and writes out a whole thing. it's really sweet, but this year is different and idk why.

i just got back from my 2nd semester of college after being gone for ~5 months. i started t and changed my name almost 9 months ago on the same day. she's been okay with my pronouns and has used my name for about 3/4 years now (i've been out for 6 years).

i came back to my job yesterday where she's my manager because i work there over all my breaks, and she randomly started calling me she/her in front of my face. a lot of people at work think im a cis woman because she always called me a girl before i got there, and ive known them all for so long that i don't even know how to bring it up to anyone. i have a full mustache currently btw, and her and my coworkers are still calling me she. my mom hasn't had any issues with my pronouns for a while until now. on top of that, today she posted pictures of me only pre-transition and/or pre-t for my BIRTHDAY which is really really weird because she has pictures of me now and even posted one a few weeks ago.

im really uncomfortable with everything happening and i genuinely don't know what im supposed to do. does anyone have any suggestions? or has anyone experienced something similar?

my (ftm) fiancé (ftm) has a little sister, she's 16 in about a month. she's the definition of the cis girl obsessed with yaoi and only talks about how she wants to "date a twink" and loves gay men. all she does is consume media with gay men, and only in a sexual sense and not actual romance. it's horrible, i feel so gross about it.

it makes me so angry because my fiancé doesn't even say anything and even thinks it's funny. i think it's demeaning and gross. i can't even say anything either because his family already hates me.

EDIT: it's not the fact that she consumes the media, because it's not just that. she sexualizes real life every day people irl and on social media, not just fictional characters she reads about or watches on a screen. she can do whatever she wants, and i can feel uncomfortable about it and vent about it in a vent sub.
i was also consuming a LOT of mlm media before i came out as a gay trans man, a lot of people do, but it's different for fictional characters vs real human beings.

this is genuinely so debilitating. it's already hard enough having bpd in general, but on top of that i also have cptsd and ocd so it's like 100x worse, AND on top of that im a trans dude from FLORIDA and moved to arizona and im only 18. (yes im diagnosed with all these things lol, shits fucked up) i only started t and got my name changed 8 months ago and it was on the same day, ive been out for 6 years.

its makes me so dysphoric because these are all things that are more prominent in women, and i feel like i should "man up" (i know it's a shitty thing to say) and get over myself. even though i can't control it and it's not really my fault. i feel like i shouldn't act the way i do even though it's wired into my brain that i need to act the way i do, and it's horrible because now im just seen as a woman who can't control emotions. at least that's how i feel.

i know it's stupid and weird and kinda misogynistic to think this way, but i can't really help it and i wish i could. i just want to not be an emotional wreck all the time.

i posted in a trans sub, just a small thing about how i kept being called "she" in the comments on a post about my cats in a cat sub because of my typing and thought it was kinda weird, and a good portion of the comments are just being plain dumb.

i asked "anyone else have this problem?" and suddenly im bombarded with things like "well obviously everyone will think you're a female" because i use proper punctuation, type in all lowercase, and use question marks (huh??), and that me having cats is a feminine thing.

some people are genuinely confused as to why typing is considered one way or another, but some are just lowkey being assholes and downvoting me for just typing a certain way and saying i'll always been seen as a woman online if i don't change the way i type. so thanks reddit for finding more things to try and make me to be dysphoric about. not gonna happen dude, give up.

i posted on a sub about my cats, and immediately everyone in the comments assumed i was a woman? i'm not really sure why but i guess my typing is too girl-ish lmao.

i think i type pretty normal, but i guess not? does anyone else have issues like this?

i've been binding for around 7-ish years now, started with a hand me down gc2b and it destroyed my ribs, got ANOTHER hand me down gc2b binder but that time it was a racerback and again my ribs are just sucky. i finally bought my own after YEARS from wonababi and it's great, only binder that's actually given me good results but it kinda hurts in some places. i prefer racerbacks, but im realizing how hard it is to find a safe everyday wear racerback.

i wear my binder to work and its not seamless and its extremely hard to breathe, along with that i walk everywhere at a high altitude since i moved to arizona. i also swim a lot over the summer because im from florida and constantly at the beach over breaks. i'm thinking of maybe getting 2 new binders from wonababi; a sports or swimming binder and a seamless one. only a select handful of the binders they make are racerbacks, however i guess i need to open up the doors to normal ones now since racerbacks have severely damaged my shoulders and ribs from the lack of variety in the way they're made.

if anyone can give me a good rec for bigger chested guys for a seamless or a sports binder?

location: florida. i live in az for college but this is all taking place back home in fl.

so i moved away to college and left my two girl cats (mom and daughter) in the care of someone else. come to find out less than a month later they're in a shelter over an hour away from where im from. i was not told.

i had no idea they were in a shelter for weeks after they were brought there because they were posted on my local cat cafe instagram and my mom sent it to me.

i called the cafe and confirmed with them that they are in fact my cats, they then said i had to call the shelter they source their cats through and then the shelter said i had to call the cafe again. they refused to let me or my family take the girls so i paid the $150 adoption application fee for my best friends mom to adopt them. it's been about 2-3 weeks now when it only should've taken a week for them to get back, and the cafe sent my friends mom the money back and said they need to do their application through the shelter. we called the shelter and they said they had no idea what we were talking about and would call me back. we talked to the cafe again who said my girls aren't even at the cafe anymore and are BACK IN THE SHELTER. the shelter never called me back and it's been days now.

my girls were in my care for over a year, and now they're refusing to give them back to me or anyone around me. they're a bonded pair and will get separated in the process if they let someone else take them. what do i do????

i go home in a few weeks and could go in, but i cannot wait that long with my babies in a shelter.

UPDATE!!!!!!!!: i called today and they said they have already rehomed my cats to someone new and cannot give me any information. they said "its first come first serve", even though my friends application was put in the DAY they were brought back to the shelters. a supervisor is going to try and get in contact with their adopting family to contact me. we'll see.

this makes me feel like such a horrible person. i love my fiancé but i struggle extremely hard with jealousy and other non-related issues like depression and emptiness. i feel so bland and one-dimensional most of the time unless im having intense emotions. like pleasure from rough and violent sex.

i am constantly trying to have sex multiple times a day, even if it just happened, and i can't have sex like a "normal person". it has to be rough or violent or extremely over the top. it makes me feel so disgusting because im also a trans guy on testosterone and it makes me libido even higher, however he can't keep up with my need for sexual relations from my bpd and my t.

i have been extremely jealous lately and feel as though he will only stay with me and love me more than everyone else if i constantly show off to him. i'm scared he's found someone new, specifically girls at work, as one girl i dislike very much from his old job now works with him once again. he's been following girls on instagram from work, etc. i feel like the only way to keep his eyes on me is by doing this. it makes me feel horrible. i have not told him.

so i moved away to college and left my two girl cats (mom and daughter) in the care of someone else. come to find out less than a month later they're in a shelter over in fort walton. i was not told.

i had no idea they were in a shelter for weeks after they were brought there because they were posted on the cat cafe instagram and my mom sent it to me.

i called the cafe who said i had to call the shelter they source their cats through and then the shelter said i had to call the cafe again. they refused to let me or my family take the girls so i paid the $150 adoption application fee for my best friends mom to adopt them. it's been about 2-3 weeks now when it only should've taken a week for them to get back, and the cafe sent my friends mom the money back and said they need to do their application through the shelter. we called the shelter and they said they had no idea what we were talking about and would call me back. we talked to the cafe again who said my girls aren't even at the cafe anymore and are BACK IN THE SHELTER. the shelter never called me back and it's been days now.

my girls were in my care for over a year, i rescued them off the streets and now they're refusing to give them back to me or anyone around me. they're a bonded pair and will get separated in the process if they let someone else take them. what do i do????

i go home in a few weeks and could go in, but i cannot wait that long with my babies in a shelter.

UPDATE!!!!! : i called today and they said they have already rehomed my cats to someone new and cannot give me any information. they said "its first come first serve", even though my friends application was put in the DAY they were brought back to the shelters. a supervisor is going to try and get in contact with their adopting family to contact me. we'll see.

so i moved away to college and left my two girl cats (mom and daughter) in the care of someone else. come to find out less than a month later they're in a shelter over an hour away from where im from. i was not told.

i had no idea they were in a shelter for weeks after they were brought there because they were posted on my local cat cafe instagram and my mom sent it to me.

i called the cafe who said i had to call the shelter they source their cats through and then the shelter said i had to call the cafe again. they refused to let me or my family take the girls so i paid the $150 adoption application fee for my best friends mom to adopt them. it's been about 2-3 weeks now when it only should've taken a week for them to get back, and the cafe sent my friends mom the money back and said they need to do their application through the shelter. we called the shelter and they said they had no idea what we were talking about and would call me back. we talked to the cafe again who said my girls aren't even at the cafe anymore and are BACK IN THE SHELTER. the shelter never called me back and it's been days now.

my girls were in my care for over a year, and now they're refusing to give them back to me or anyone around me. they're a bonded pair and will get separated in the process if they let someone else take them. what do i do????

i go home in a few weeks and could go in, but i cannot wait that long with my babies in a shelter.

UPDATE!!!!!!!!: i called today and they said they have already rehomed my cats to someone new and cannot give me any information. they said "its first come first serve", even though my friends application was put in the DAY they were brought back to the shelters. a supervisor is going to try and get in contact with their adopting family to contact me. we'll see.