u/nedflanders2021

When I first moved in, I had to buy whatever mattress I could my living situation was terrible before and I slept on a twin mattress as an adult and I’m very large but I had no choice. Finally thank God everything changed and I was able to move into a place and get a queen size mattress but because I had no time to get a proper mattress, I had to just get whatever I could delivered to me from Some rinky-dink store it was like still $200 altogether, including the bed rails and boxspring, etc.. I had to just have something. But fast-forward to two years later, this mattress is absolutely terrible. It’s cheap. It’s dipping and I have to flip it constantly and I am very overweight so it’s dipping even more. I already have problems with sleeping because of my body/chronic pain/disability. Is there any way that I could fix this mattress? It is very unsupportive soggy saggy, and it dips. I desperately need a new mattress, but should I just invest in putting some kind of topper on it? I don’t have the money to get a good quality mattress right now. I know that is the obvious answer, but I need something to make it more firm and supportive. Should I just invest and getting something to fix the existing mattress or should I just try to get a new one somehow?

Tomorrow will mark 3 months since I’ve lost my 9 year old baby to fucking cancer. Just writing that is surreal and infuriating. A month plus into losing her a HUGE wave of guilt hit me hard and I’ve had physical pain since then. Granted that I’m extremely overweight and I don’t take care of myself and I’m already extremely stressed out. This is a new kind of pain. My chest feels tight and hurt hurts even though some of pain has subsided but my left hand has been numb. I feel just as exhausted as ever. I have my own chronic pain/injuries to deal with anyway on top of it all. But it feels like my upper body hurts. My heart is literally broken, literally and figuratively. My heart hurts. I thought I would feel this way in the beginning and didn’t expect it later. I feel like I’m in a danger zone but at the same time I don’t give a fuck. My grandmother and my pet had cancer at the same time. They both passed away within a month of each other. I have to be very honest the passing of my pet is really what fucked me up. The last time I felt this traumatized was when my cousin passed away. But I didn’t feel this amount of physical pain. I don’t wanna go to the doctor and I can’t afford it anyway.

On a scale of 1-10 how much would you say this life sucks?

Born into a race of people that everyone collectively hates today

That race is also very patriarchal sexist and racist themselves and even sociopathic

You were openly resented for being born a female and for being fat / ugly from your own father

Your father was verbally and physically abusive and maybe even sexually abused your sibling (it hasn’t been confirmed)

Your whole life you were basically told that you were stupid fat and ugly by society and your own father. your father is literally narcissistic and openly ashamed of you. He resents the fact that you’re not a boy and when you’re 12 years old and starting to go through puberty, he dresses you as a boy and treats you like a tomboy.

You only got along with your mother because you were her protector and you and your mother were getting the brunt of the physical and verbal abuse

Your sister was the golden child. You were her whipping boy.

Your childhood was constantly chaotic, filled with violence and no stability moving from state to state. It was very lonely. As a result, you also developed maladaptive daydreaming to cope, which also destroyed your life because you spent your whole life fantasizing.

You only go to school for five years because as a girl you’re not allowed to have that much of an education.

At 12 years old, you basically developed PCOS , it messes with your hormones and your weight, and you end up growing a lot of facial hair as a woman, and it messes with your insecurity. You also eventually learn that you cannot have children because of it. And it’s impossible to lose weight unless you literally starve yourself.

Your mother, finally divorces, your father, when she marries someone that’s even worse, who is also physically and verbally, abusive and addicted to drugs and alcohol. He would leave drugs, beer, cans, and pornography around the house and his two daughters being your stepsister’s were absolutely insane and wild kids. And another older third stepsister vowed to beat you simply because she didn’t like you.

To basically survive you become a kleptomaniac, but it’s not just about stealing food anymore. You do it because it’s compulsive and you end up stealing other things. You also become a compulsive liar.

You go to high school because CPS is making you go to school, and you’re way behind and you feel like a giant fat freak, and your grades are failing.

At 16, you can’t handle your life anymore with your blended family and you can’t take the stress of sleeping on a couch and you have no friends in your severely depressed to the point where you’re going emotionally numb having severe digestive issues and you attempt to commit s**uicide at 16 . And nobody has any idea.

Your mother end up going back back-and-forth in this terrible new marriage with your stepfather and you literally don’t know if she’s going to survive because he might actually kill her. You sleep with a knife under your pillow in case you have to defend her or yourself.

Throughout the years you lose and gain weight, but gradually you get fatter and fatter.

Because you have daddy issues you end up becoming promiscuous you never have a healthy love life or sex life, and you go looking for love and attention for years and validation through random hookups. And when you do feel like you fall in, love you end up getting your heart broken because nobody loves you back. Everything you do is a secret and you just feel like a whore.

In 2017 you end up losing the one cousin that you’re very close to because he is m**urdered at g**unpoint.

In 2018 you end up meeting someone from your culture/background and marrying them (typically people from your culture get married young and it’s usually arranged marriage, but nobody wanted me) so by the time I was in my 30s, I married someone of my own choice. But he turned out to be a compulsive, liar, narcissistic he was verbally and physically abusive to other partners he never stop speaking to a girl that he was going out with the whole time, he lied about his age. He may have killed someone and he did do time in prison temporarily for a different reason. He was addicted to heroin and Percocets. And he turned out to be a pedophile. You finally decide to leave him. You only knew him for seven months.

Every time you try maintaining your independence and having your own house, something happens and you have to leave and then you live back with your mother again, going back into a deep depression. and as a result of that, you have to give up one of your pet cats.

You’re ashamed for getting married so old and for finding someone who was the bottom of the barrel. You go into a deep d***epression for six months and gain a bunch of weight.

You currently weigh 440 pounds

You end up falling and injuring yourself and now you cannot walk and stand for long periods of time. You’re basically disabled since 2022.

Through out the years , 3 out of your four grandparents die either from Covid or natural causes.

Your sister has been married to an absolute psychopath who is sexually perverted, verbally and physically abusive and who is connected even when he goes to jail. He gets right out 20 minutes later and he threatens your family. no matter what state he’s in he is psychotic and untouchable. Even though your sister finally decides to leave him he still makes everyone’s life a living hell from a distance because he’s demonic and has money and time on his hands.

Your sister is severely depressed and developed a drinking problem because she does not have custody of her children. And her husband keeps showing everyone revenge porn online of your sister.

Your mother is broke and doesn’t have any savings.

You and your sister have minimal savings and can’t exactly help her out either.

In January of 2026 you end up losing one of your online jobs that you need because you are disabled and you also learn within the same week that your pet cat and your grandmother both have cancer.

In the meantime of all of this, you’re dealing with an illness thinking that it’s bronchitis or the flu, but it ended up being a severe tooth infection that could have killed you according to the dentist the infection could’ve spread.

You have no insurance either for your cat or for yourself. Now medical bills are mounting.

Your grandmother dies on the day that you pull your infected tooth out and you can’t go to Pay pay your last respect anyway. Now your last grandmother has died.

You ask your own father for help to pay some of the medical expenses and you tell him that you could’ve died and he doesn’t seem to care. You tell him that your cat is very sick and you’re basically probably going to have to put her to sleep and he just tells you to get another cat in so many clunky words.

Your father denies you help because he has to get help for his children that are autistic. He is in his 60s and he had a genius idea of having two children through surrogacy back in 2020. He confesses out of his own mouth that he had these two children because me and my sister are not around and he needs someone to take care of him when he gets older. He names one of the boys after the name that he was supposed to give you because he thought you were going to be born a boy. So he kept that name in his mind for decades because he resented you for being female.

2 months later your cat also passes away because the cancer has spread to her lungs despite getting surgery that was supposed to at least extend her life a little more. She gets sick literally right after her 9th birthday.

You only have one friend and even then sometimes you get emotionally exhausted, talking to him because he just wants advice all the time. And you’re completely burnt out listening to him talk about his insane ex-girlfriend. Your job is literally to listen and give advice all day every day and you’re burnt out when it comes to listening to his stuff.

Your cats are the only thing that matters to you and they are your whole world then you had to watch one suffer with cancer and eventually pass away and it was so traumatizing and it hit you with such a wave of guilt that you now have heart/chest pains even two months after they passed.

You have to do a job that you hate because you’re disabled and it’s a remote job and you have no education or skills but your job also makes you feel spiritually convicted and you don’t wanna go to hell because of your job.

You’re literally exhausted in every fucking way possible on every level.

I’ve had a couple of experiences that don’t exactly make sense to me, even though I do believe in all of these things. Years ago my 26 year-old cousin was in the hospital because someone robbed him at gunpoint at an ATM. I admittedly already didn’t have such a great feeling about the situation despite the chaplain of the hospital coming down and giving us more positive sounding updates and reports. I just had a bad feeling already. But then, as I was sitting in the waiting room /lobby of the hospital I saw somebody walk across behind the front desk where you check in with the nurse. It was a young man that happened to look almost exactly like my cousin to the point where it made me gasp and it made me feel unsettled. He only walked by once and I never saw him after that. Later I learned my cousin passed away. That was in 2017.

Fast-forward to today I learned that my nine-year-old cat had cancer in January. Even though I was able to get her surgery the cancer ended up spreading unfortunately and my baby got very sick in April of 2026. She passed on May 2nd 2026 but just a couple of days before that I was completely exhausted and I had to lie down in my bed because for days I was sleeping upfront on the couch staying in the living room with her because she was sleeping on the floor. it was not safe for her to be on the bed anymore. So I finally gave in and slept on my bed, but as I turned around because I was tossing and turning, I saw a cat walking across my keyboard on my laptop next to my bed. It basically got me up out of my sleepy state and thoroughly confused me because my cat really does walk across my laptop, but I know for a fact she couldn’t do that this time. She wasn’t even strong enough to jump up on the table, and I purposely let her sleep in the living room for safety reasons, so it was definitely not her.

So did I happen to see their spirit before they passed on or was this something else? what would be the meaning of this?

I’ve been friends with a guy for almost 10 years, and he’s definitely been there for me when I’ve had my emotional problems or relationship problems like we’ve been there for each other. I do have to admit that I was very disappointed by him when years ago, one of his girlfriends who was extremely insecure and jealous, actually accuse me of liking him or being in a relationship with him, which would never happen. And we were in completely different states anyway we were literally not with each other physically were romantically or in anyway that she accused us and he never apologize for that and we didn’t speak to each other for about six months. But that did really piss me off for a long time and he initiated contact with me again I did not call him.

But anyway, fast forward to today he’s dealing with another very highly insecure, problematic, toxic woman, who emasculates him they have had a lot of drama and trust issues and problems. He has done some things too, but she definitely has a lot of issues and this is what he’s telling me. I also give advice to people for a living, so I literally talk to people all day every day and give them spiritual/relationship advice so I’m quite literally burnt out. But I have told him repeatedly that this girl is no good for him, and yet he keeps coming back to the same problem and asking me advice and my opinion and quite frankly, I’m very tired of it sometimes I even dread picking up the phone because I think he’s gonna talk about that again. He doesn’t do it every single time we speak, but it’s getting to the point where it’s at nausea and I can’t take it anymore. AITH for being completely fed up and exhausted when it comes to him talking about his ex-girlfriend‘s, this one in particular?

I made my mother some food, including homemade russet potato mashed potatoes, made with half-and-half, butter, and sour cream , and I ended up leaving the mashed potatoes out because when I came back home after dropping off the food to her, I was exhausted and I guess my brain was just a little scattered and I forgot to put the mashed potatoes in the refrigerator when I took a nap. They were in a Tupperware left out at room temperature for a few hours. So when I got up, I finally ate dinner and I didn’t notice the weird peculiar smell at first. I just microwaved my mashed potatoes and they tasted fine. But after I ate them, I noticed a weird smell coming from the Tupperware of mashed potatoes and it was like this weird metallic ocean air smell. So are they basically rancid like that I poison myself or something?

I only wanted to do a freezer spell towards my mothers landlord not for him to be harmed. I didn’t put cayenne pepper or anything like that. I basically just wanted him to leave her alone and ignore her and stop bothering her and being intrusive and rude. my mother has a very good reputation and she’s very responsible and I was worried about him being very intrusive and annoying and nosy, questioning her living situation and space. Because as soon as he took over ownership of the building that she’s in, he started asking the neighbors questions about her. He came around in December 2024 and I decided to do the freezer spell in February 2025. I think on the piece of paper that I wrote down. I also said that I want my sister‘s ex-husband to leave us alone because he’s abusive and was always threatening my mother and sister. I’m pretty sure the freezer spell actually worked because he never bothered my mother anymore. He was never a busy body and he left after a year of owning the building. We have new owners now and they are nice. I have to admit that I felt eerie when I was first doing the freezer spell, even though I didn’t want any harm towards anyone. I just felt like maybe I shouldn’t be doing it and the energy in my house just felt kind of strange . But I noticed around the time that I did the freezer spell my cat ended up getting sick within a month after I did the spell. I took her to the vet and took care of the problem. She ended up needing an enema because of some cat litter that clumped in her stomach. But in January of 2026 I lost an online job and I was very sick, thinking that I had bronchitis, but it ended up being a tooth infection that was so severe that my dentist said that it would’ve killed me if I didn’t have the tooth removed. And in the midst of all of that, I found out within the same week in January that my precious cat had breast cancer, and that my grandmother also had a cancerous tumor on her spine. I removed the tooth my cat got surgery and I thought we were gonna be OK but my grandmother ended up dying on the same day that I was removing my tooth on March 3rd and my baby cat just recently passed away on May 2, 2026. On Jan 24th I was also cracking an egg for myself from breakfast and there was blood in the egg. And I had dreams and sad, anticipatory grief feelings about my cat before I took her to the vet in January before I discovered her tumor . She was perfectly fine on April 11 2026 which was her birthday and then literally a day later she completely changed and got sick.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve had prophetic dreams. It doesn’t happen all the time for every single dream, but I’ve noticed that I could either see something repetitively either six months to a year in advance, depending on what it is. For example in December 2025 I got a random text from my veterinarian and they normally actually never do that and I felt a sense of dread wash over me. It was a reminder to do a check up . But I had a bad feeling, even though my cat was fine . January 15th 2026 I had a dream about my cat that disturbed me and made me sad when I woke up and it did relate to her, not being with me anymore and being taken away from me by another unhealthy looking black cat with hazy blind eyes. Then on January 17, I happen to discover a growth on her abdomen. I got her surgery done a mastectomy on January 22. She healed perfectly well and up until April 11 - her birthday. She was perfectly fine. And then she completely changed it overnight. She became really sick and despite everything that I tried my baby ended up passing away on May 2, 2026. I tried so hard and I tried to stay optimistic and give her the treatments that I could. And I’ve had other prophetic dreams in the past that also related to very major life changes but what is the point of having any of these dreams even if I do try my damnedest I still get my heartbroken.