With my Varshaphal horoscope not on my side and challenges all over.. Not a single friend to share. Not a single person by my side, I feel so isolated and scared. How will I do this alone? Such a big challenge.
Key Varshaphal placements:
**Sun + Mercury + Venus → 5th house**
**Jupiter → 2nd house**
**Saturn → 3rd house**
**Rahu → 11th house**
**Mars → 8th house**
**Moon → 6th house**
Accepting age is very important. Being involved in the work and relationships that broke eventually, I did not realise that life slipped away.
When recently people started calling me aunty, I realised that I am no longer someone's baby, I am aunty now.
I didn't even realise until recently I reflected upon why I got offended on being called aunty.
Acceptance is the key here. That life of being loved, taken care of, admired and cuddled by your person is gone.
I could not get married or have a family. Life slipped away.
Have to gracefully accept the age and phase. Now next phase is all about mentoring and guiding. I will no longer be treated like a kid by anyone. I liked that feeling though. But, leave that now. Enter the next phase.
I have to choose between doing expenses this month or paying EMIs. If I pay EMI then my business stops, and if I make expenses then I have to face the recovery process for loan defaults.
What should I do?
I have to choose between doing expenses this month or paying EMIs. If I pay EMI then my business stops, and if I make expenses then I have to face the recovery process for loan defaults.
What should I do?
Fear of the consequences was blocking my growth.
I first conquered my personal fears, and now I will conquer the fear of the impact I will have on my family.
You have to become fearless and learn to live on the edge when times and conditions are uncertain.
I will create the safety at the earliest, but as of now, I cannot go back in time to undo my actions. I have to work to make a bright future for myself and my family.
In the next 5 years, everything will be fixed, provided I get comfortable with the temporary disappointment.
No matter what my intentions were, no matter what I did, I ended up traumatising my family and giving them constant stress. I don't know when I will feel safe again.
How did this happen? I don't know
But, as I got comfortable in failing, I have to be comfortable in the fact that they wiill suffer and be humiliated because of my existence.
My planned wedding broke twice at the last moment. I selected him, and eventually it broke. Every choice I made ended up traumatising them.
I took on debt for education, for business, for medical expenses, all of it to help them, but eventually I could not pay it back.
Now, my brother says that I am the reason for his constant stress, I will be in jail because of my debt, and his entire life will be impacted.
I did take on debt for education, medical and business expenses. But it backfired. I never planned for it to happen that way.
Now, when I work, I work with an element of acceptance that even if I fail, I will be okay with the outcome. I have to take risks. But I will be okay if things do not turn my way.
Now, I have to move a step further and be okay with accepting that my family will get impacted because of how I work and move. They can cut ties with me and choose not to bail me out. But I cannot exist in constant fear of failing them. They love me and would do anything to bail me out. But that is their choice, and they have to bear the consequences of it.
At this moment, I am in debt, and no job can take me out, my business can take me out, and I have to take a risk for it.
I have to be comfortable with letting them down, only them I can work.
Some chances need to be taken. Family restricts your growth.
It is scary. I have decided not to feel low. But, the challenges are plenty.
No one around takes accountability in family. Everyone blames each other.
I always am are accountable but I wonder how can people blame it all on others and their circumstances?
Unexpected people, unexpected help, unexpected leverage, everything and everyone is saying "We got you, just keep moving"
I have lately observed that 20 somethings call me aunty, why should it sound offensive?
I don't connect to aunty or didi identity. How do you react or should we react?
I want them to call me ma'am. I don't want people to call me didi or aunty.
I have my friends who are 10-20 years older to me, I address them on first name basis. Also, I call random strangers sir or ma'am. I address Aunty or uncle to only known ones.