u/orange196

I never liked speech therapy. I do like helping people but a lot of the content of it I find boring and was not particularly interested in most of my grad school classes. my parents basically forced me into this field because I was unsure what to study.

I started a baking business out of my home five years ago. had a couple great seasons with farmers markets but now after having a second child I’m struggling with getting to the markets. my firstborn was chill and my son who is 3 is high energy and it takes lots and lots of hours to prep to even attend one market. I’d love to have a storefront someday when my kids are much older but now Doesn’t seem like the right time to jump into that when they need me so so much.

i Wish my parents could have an actual conversation with me about this. But I just feel like a huge let down to them. they don’t seem proud of pursuing my baking passion and uninterested in my plans to possibly go back to school :(

ive Been thinking I ended up in the wrong helping profession and considering getting a masters in mental health counseling . I could take one more pre req this fall and then if I got accepted start the masters program in spring 2027.

Thoughts on this switch to mental health counseling? Any advice? Thanks for reading! 🩷

texted her happy anniversary- no response, sent video of grand daughter on bike without training wheels no response, cute Father’s Day video when toddler addressed grandma no response

mean voicemail on my bday calling me a nasty child when she thought she’d hung up

i bring up the issues of ignoring and rudeness and she’ll either ignore my text about it, say she’s horrible and yells (when brought up in person) , so I can’t reason with her but I’m not okay being treated this way.

my dad is ill so I’m going to visit in a couple days and I dread being around my

mom. I’m so hurt by her rudeness. And passive aggression towards me. What to do? Is this bad enough to go no contact?

after having my second child three years ago something broke within me in regards to my mom. she was a huge yeller when I was a child and likely has some sort of undiagnosed mental illness.

now that I’m finding my voice and saying no to her more she has become quite rude to me. I live five hours away and my dad (who is very kind and gentle) has Alzheimer’s.

would you keep up a relationship with the rude mom so you can go see your dying dad? or would you avoid being around the rude childish mom behavior and therefore avoid being around your dying dad?

some examples:

-I arrive home from a solo drive five hours from my parents house with two young kids in tow telling mom I’m safely home and thank you again for having us. No response.

-I send videos of kids since that visit and no response. Riding on boiler without training wheels first time and he other is a Father’s Day song by my three year old and he mentioned grandma in it too . No response

-sends me a message about issues with her mail service saying wonder if my kids thank you notes to her got lost in the mail too because we wrote thank you notes to a family friend that she heard about (didn’t write to my mom but have the kids thank her in other ways with a photo for the class they paid for) WTF why same me for that how rude

-thought I forgot my nice headphone at my parents house. I text three times asking for them. Mom ignores all

messages while intermittently texting me other questions that I replied to. I pointed out that hurts me to be ignored but my husband found the headphones. No acknowledgment of my issues just glad you found headphones.

-on my birthday left voicemail to say happy bday and asked for my daughter to call her. Mom thought she hung up but then started trash talking me shouting what a nasty child (about me). I called her out told her that was a heartbreaking way to speak to me esp on my birthday. She wrote so sorry and then went on to write how excluded she feels frommy life, my brothers life, and her grandchildren’s lives.

im disgusted by my mom. Im supposed to go visit for two days this week to spend time with my dad for much of it but it’s dreadful to be around her. Would you go anyways? My dad has Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s. Or just cut them out more until the rudeness stops?

Thanks for reading and for any suggestions ❤️

tldr- mom treating me poorly. rudeness ignores messages. dad has Alzheimer’s, cut off mom? or keep putting up with her to visit dad?

my husband let mil know about the diarrhea. this was after the toddler spent two nights there. my son also said his stomach hurt after the first bathroom stop which happened very shortly after he got home.

mil said he was fine all weekend.

we found out from our doctor that too much sugar can cause this because when was 2 thisnhaopened to his poop sometime after juice or a birthday party for example.

husband has had multiple conversations with mil about stuff like this. am I overreacting? do you just let your kids eat whatever when they’re with their grandparents a couple times oer month? or do you get mad if your boundaries dont feel respected?

it feels so sneaky to me to not really acknowledge it and not say I’m sorry we’ll keep an eye on that next time or something along those lines to show you’re actually listening to the parent.

how would you proceed? am I overreacting?

this woman changed my life and helped me with so much trauma from my mom. im a baker and she encouraged my baking business. I baked for her once and she still talked about it. is it okay to reach out on her Instagram to express my gratitude and see if I can drop off some cookies for her somewhere? or is that weird/inappropriate.

I’ve been a SAHM for several years but am considering returning to work . there is a position at a school that would require me to leave around 6:45 a.m. for two days per week. I could be home around 3:30 pm on those days.

id have my six yo help pack lunch the night before and have both kids lay out their clothes have their bag packed the night before. Can even know the night before what they’d be having for breakfast to make things smoother.

is this manageable for the working partner getting the kids ready? I’ve been a SAHM and do lots of stuff solo currently but just curious when you have a Job to get off to. Thanks for any tips or insight! ❤️I’m nervous to return to work but think it would be better for me.

my son is 3 and loves the outdoors. im currently a SAHM but I miss working and feel I’m losing my mind at home. I thought I was okay with staying home another year or two so we selected an outdoor based preschool 5 days per week 2.5 hours. the pickup time coincides with getting my daughter off the bus . she can go to after school a couple of the days but not every day. I’ve already paid some tuition I think around $700 😬not sure if that’s refundable

now I regret this because these hours would make it very difficult for me to work. I explored half day part time daycare but we’d still have to figure getting him transported for the 12:30 drop off and 3 pm pickup and the half day rate is so costly for not much care.

a full time daycare with a nice outdoor space i heard today actually does have openings . im currently applying for jobs and had an interview. Im applying to part time jobs but could use the time he’s there and im not at work to clean get chores done cook homemade meals etc .

what would you do? I don’t know if I’d love my job but I’m feeling pulled to try if I get an offer.

is it foolish to not stay home with him even though I’m fortunate that financially it would be fine? I think he thrives being around kids and with the structure of a classroom vs lots of time with me. he’s had behaviors such as getting into trouble doing stuff he shouldn’t at home a lot lately but is so well behaved when out and about around other kids.

thank you for reading and for any tips!

I feel like I’m in the wrong now because my husband is so mad at his mom. it’s an awkward spot to be in. what should I have done?

I forget if she said husband would be mad but she has said phrases like that before and I don’t know what to do.

inusually let my husband manage his parents and I manage mine for issues.

he said we have too much stuff and please don’t buy more so they got water bottles for kids to leave at their house but somehow one was brought to our house and then my son wanted his so MIL said to kid yesterday I’ll give it to you as long as it won’t make mom (me) mad. I just said that’s okay. like if one kid has theirs how can I say no for the other. my husband wasn’t around when she said that to me.

he saw the other water bottles this morning and was mad felt disrespected of his wishes (gifts are recurring) and so reached out to his mom about feeling snuck around. but now I’m obsessing that I’m in the wrong.

any advice? what would you do? am I worrying over nothing?

I’d like to go back to work this fall after several years as a SAHM. it’s hard to find part time positions but there is one that is about 35 mins away maybe a bit longer. it would just be two days per week.

I’d have to get after school care and some transportation for my toddler from his preschool that ends at 3 but I think working would be good for my mental health. I already have after school care lined up for my school age child for the two days.

how to change this? like I should’ve kicked a different activity?? but restaurants with my three year old aren’t that fun at the moment and we love being outside . I just want to go an outing without doing the preparations for it.

I much prefer one on one conversation. I feel like I can be myself and enjoy going deeper versus sometimes more surface level things that come up in groups.but now I worry I’m somehow not good enough if I didn’t talk much in a group of several other moms last night. I mainly listened and if the woman next to me spoke I asked an occasional question. it also got loud and we were spread out outside and like naturally I have a soft voice it’s harder to hear me saying something across the group if that makes sense.

I smiled and laughed along when anyone in the group said something happy or funny. I enjoyed myself, asked the host a question when I needed something but didn’t share much about me as an individual other than a thing here and there.

Any tips to get better at accepting this about myself?

any tips to get

more comfortable at sharing a story if I have one before they switch to another topic?

what would you think of the more quiet one in the group when you’re all getting to know one another?

thanks for reading and for any tips!

we made our own plans for Sunday. I’m not close with MIL but want to honor her because my kids adore her. my mom lives out of state. I’m going out with a friend in evening and spending time with my kids and husband in morning.

I feel like it’s rude that when my husband called them after they said either date was fine they said they’re out of town now until Sun and could only come Sun. but they never told us! so we were planning a nice day (including ordering her favorite pie) when they said either day worked and my husband called them today to confirm saturday since we determined our plans. They live an hour away from us.

feel like I’m constantly let down by MIL’s judginess and lack of appreciation fornwho I am . Maybe im being dramatic? I’ve never spent this amount of time around someone who I feeel drained by and unseen by . me a question it seems obligation and then she’ll practically fall asleep when I answer or just look like she’s so bored and doesn’t care. I see her a couple times a month for stuff related to kids mainly so not a ton.

I just feel like I need to do something different because I keep getting let down and annoyed and I don’t know how to stop caring so much. I wasn’t therapy but my therapist just randomly left the other day without notice so I’m searching for a new one.

thanks for reading And for sharing your thoughts!

he complains so much about the 3yo and quickly loses patience. he needs to be asked to do so many things and then often will complain like getting something after having already sat down even though I’ve had to do that tons and tons of times.

for baby wakeups I was handling them solo for the longest time. I regularly told him that wasn’t okay but don’t just get over all of those lonely nights when you needed your partner supposed teammate more than ever?

things like packing lunch, getting ready for outings, trips, all the prep is on me. granted I have more time because I’m at home but there’s way more he could be doing when not at work.

we also have a huge yard (which he wanted way more than me, it’s nice but I’d prefer a kid filled street) which takes time to maintain leaving me solo with kids more.

he’s maybe once made dinner and out the kids to bed if I’m having a night “off” of bedtime I’m still making dinner getting everyone fed .

He‘ll say how was your day and i mention the hard parts but it constantly

seems he’s exhausted from work that he’s not emotionally supporting/validating that or making me feel less alone after sharing.

Ive said I like to open a birthday present each year but he’ll say he hates gifts doesn’t know what to get. I’ve sent various ideas this year.

my birthday and Mother’s Day constantly feel like let downs because I feel deeply unappreciated by him all year long. birthdays before kids weren’t like this. he says he’s trying his best and overwhelmed by the kids and work that there’s not much left for me.

what would you do? I don’t feel like he’s adding joy to my life regularly anymore. its complaints a lot of the time about kids work etc.

I always like to ask and I have a friend who goes in and they say please and thank you. it the vibe I get is that it’s more of a statement/command versus a request if that makes sense? they always please thank you and often say please so perhaps I’m overthinking this but just curious

have two young kids and my partner’s harshness has really started to bother me the last couple years. speaking to me harshly and in mean tones because he says he’s overwhelmed by our toddler. or stressed from work. feel like the frequency of this mean /harsh voice snippy tone lack of patience with toddler on a lot of days has me wondering if we’re no longer compatible.

im also frequently critiqued for leaving on a garage light, putting food in wrong spot in fridge, loading dishwasher inefficiently, not stirring rice so a little stuck to bottom of pan etc etc etc

complains about the dinners I make often . I’ve stated a need to be thanked for lots of little things I do in our day to day at least 15 times through the last couple years and no improvement.

there’s been lots and lots of good times in our years together but these things above happen daily here days. what would you do? any recommendations? thank you!