u/queerwaters_642

I‘ve always seen people tell depressed people to reach out, but I’ve never seen people actually be there. Do people just… say that?

I have crippling anxiety and depression, so “okay” is hard to come by. I like to log when I’m okay to prove to myself that it can happen. Things are calm. Relaxing, in fact. Almost makes me emotional. This is nice.

I think people should talk about being okay more. just to prove it’s possible, ya know? Consider this a “you’ll be okay“ post.

Very common on Reddit, I think. Someone makes a post about them loving their job and then here comes some asshole: “oh, just wait a few more years!”

Like okay bro, not everything has to be rainstorms and black licorice. Being happy in life is okay and not reserved for five year olds.

I don’t really know how to explain this tbh. It’s like.. The Team Umizoomi for me. I’m like “oh, I love them so much. I wish they were allowed to say more. ”

I don’t even need it to be more “adult”, really. I just want their dynamic to be more fleshed out, yknow? Like, I just wanna see Millie tell Geo that his hair sucks in true sibling fashion.

Because if I’m only loved after I heal, how would I know that I was ever lovable when I wasn’t? I could I trust anyone to be there for me if I was only ever cared for when I wasn’t happy? I don’t think I could comfortably be in a relationship knowing how alone I was when I actually needed help. I need to know I’m worth something no matter how broken I am.

Because if I’m better, how would I know if I was worth loving while I was at my worst? How could I be comfortable knowing that I’m only worth anything when I’m okay? I’m scared because if nobody loves me before then, it means I’m unloveable now, and anytime I’m depressed. Will people always run from me if I’m not happy? Will I always have to wear a mask?

I’ve spent years depressed, lonely, and anxious. Nobody’s ever been around to help me. So consistently so, I’m starting to think i deserve it. It also seems quite consistent for other depressed people as well. Do I deserve it? should i just… stop trying?

Cause it always goes like

Woman: “I hate how normalized it is for men to treat us badly and rape us and stuff“

Several men: “I’m sick of these gender wars! I get that you hate being mistreated, but have you considered that not all men?”

Dude, shut UP!! It seems they always find a way to victimize themselves in a conversation about us. It’s okay if not EVERYTHING is about how the men feel.

It’s like I can feel my soul scratching inside of me, begging me to set it free. It hurts so bad. I want to rip my skin off. I can’t keep living. I have to get out of here. It hurts worse every day. I want to scream. I’m in so much mental agony. I’m rocking back and forth and shaking. It feels like losing my mind. I’m scared. It feels like my body is going to kill itself it I don’t do it first.

Because everything- EVERYTHING has to be about the adults. How hard my depression is for THEM. How hard THEIR life is. How hard THEY have it.

God, shut the fuck up!!! Not everything is about you!!! It’s always “suck it up kid, it’s gonna get way harder from here” instead of actually CARING! I almost killed myself and all they did was make me apologize!

I could have had help by now if any adult understood the concept of fucking empathy.

Like, you have to actually work to make a cat trust you. Dogs, even though I literally love them, probably love you back anyway.

When a cat likes you, it feels like you’ve been chosen by the universe. A cat rolled over to let me pet its tummy yesterday and I was so elated dude. She TRUST, trusted me.

Like a robot, sort of. I don’t understand why people… feel ways. Like, “Why did that make them so angry? Is that bad? Should I be that angry?” And it feels to awkward too ask because it feels like I’m missing something obvious.

Like why is my uterus throwing a fit that I’m not pregnant. I’m a teenager dude, calm your ass down. And literally what is the evolutionary purpose of it being painful.

For me, the anger. So, so, so much anger. Sometimes not even at anything. And the voice in your head that tells you to run away screaming whenever someone is nice.

I’m in my high school years right now, and people always tell me I’m overreacting when I say I do not like it. I make great grades, but god, the rest makes me sick. I just feel dramatic.

No way people looked at the MOST PAINFUL HUMAN EXPERIENCE and said “yeah, I wanna do that!” ARE YOU INSANE??? I heard it when I was 8 and went “OH HELL NO”. And then when you’re done, you can’t even rest good because you have a baby! I could genuinely never get pregnant.

Some lady (with a vape and her kid in the same hand btw) had her child’s phone on FULL BLAST. Some man very kindly asked her to turn it down because we were in public, and she CRASHED OUT ON HIM.

Bro… since when was public decency an option? All she had to do in response was turn the phone down, but I guess being a parent makes her special or whatever.