u/resignedgf

question: what is your take on (you) going uninvited to someones wedding? as in a family member/friend of yours "made" you attend. where you may not know the bride & groom etc.

my thoughts: ive been to a few (no choice, really). and those few times i went, i made sure to bring a gift to the bride. even if i didnt know her etc.

i dont think anyone will say no to a party, and it is an opportunity to see people etc. but i cant really get behind it. that has more to do with me being a private person etc. im f20, but i wont have it be like that at my wedding. only invites, rarely +1s. to make sure of that, i will have security. as i dont want people coming uninvited, especially those i dont like. like people i have problems with and/or those who bring bad energy (ex. evil eye). i couldnt care less if we grew up together and/or are from the same clan etc. !

thought id ask since most of us here are diaspora! additional question: do you want to go back/visit another part somali land? FEEL FREE TO ADD ONE OR MORE: country/region/city/year/length & if comfortable: age & reason.

MYSELF: only once! kenya (NFD, mostly). 2015, during summer. almost two months, it was nice to see. i was 8 at that time, and im turning 20 soon in october. no particular reason as why we went, it was just to see! with "we", i mean my mom & my little brother (3 at that time, 15 now).

it has now been 11 years, and ive been thinking about visiting africa again. but this time being ogaden (somali galbeed) instead! that being cause my family is native to the region. words cannot explain how badly i want to go. 🤍

thought id ask since most of us here are diaspora! additional question: do you want to go back/visit another part somali land? FEEL FREE TO ADD ONE OR MORE: country/region/city/year/length & if comfortable: age & reason.

MYSELF: only once! kenya (NFD, mostly). 2015, during summer. almost two months, it was nice to see. i was 8 at that time, and im turning 20 soon in october. no particular reason as why we went, it was just to see! with "we", i mean my mom & my little brother (3 at that time, 15 now).

it has now been 11 years, and ive been thinking about visiting africa again. but this time being ogaden (somali galbeed) instead! that being cause my family is native to the region. words cannot explain how badly i want to go. 🤍

more specific title: care more about other somali land. in specific; ogaden (somali galbeed), NFD & djibouti. but in this context, its the first two.

it seems as if some somalis tend to forget/not acknowledge somalis living outside mainland somalia. everything from improvements, to human rights abuses. again, especially in our occupied lands.

one example being how some somalis spoke out/posted in 2023 (or before). about the land in which is occupied etc. dont know if i can say the country, but we all know. and those same somalis didnt speak out/post about our own occupied lands. in which, i would say, can really relate to that country. especially ogaden (somali galbeed), which still deal with human rights abuses comitted against them.

lastly, im wondering what could be the reason for this? as a somali, i always try to stay updated about all somali land. that including mainland somalia, in which i have no connection to etc. that being cause i am native to ogaden (somali galbeed). but my point still stands !

litt random spørsmål :) jeg (f20) skulle så ønske at det var mer vanlig i norge ! spesielt mtp skole og jobb osv. føler at "alle" og moren deres i all hovedsak bruker snap. nummer to er messenger.

men må være helt ærlig å innrømme at jeg liker whatsapp aller best. hatt det i ti år nå. er ikke særlig glad i META, men det får bare være. og nå på slutten av året skal man kunne se andres brukernavn, på whatsapp. istedenfor å gi telefonnummeret sitt osv. at man da må ha noen sin @, for å legge dem til.

PS: glemte legge til at jeg er utledning. som en som ikke kjenner til annet enn norge, bruker jeg whatsapp til å være i kontakt med familie i andre land/kontinenter !

how common is it for men/boys to bleach their skin in somalia ? i only know about dayax dalnuurshe. really sad anyway ):

is this really a thing or is it the borough im from? cause i now know five kids, who were/are sent to dhaqan celis for weight loss. that being the main reason, and quran being second. not really somali language and/or culture, as they know it well. that being cause of living & daily-life. surrounded by family & other somalis. in the borough, but also city (oslo) in general.

NOTE: these kids are/were all overweight, at the ages 6-12. from not being so active, and not eating optimal etc. and maybe even genetics (i doubt). they (five kids, total) were sent different: somalia (mainland & northern) & ethiopia (somali region).

progress & womens rights in somalia ! even with all the progress in mainland somalia lately, i dont think i will ever visit. that being cause of the lack of womens rights there.

after the civil war and everything that followed, everything went downhill. while during kacaan era, there were women organizations & everything, fully supported by the state. if the country (in the future) goes back to that, then maybe i will visit. but for now, i dont see a reason to visit. that being the main reason! and also the fact that there is nothing for me there, no family or properties etc. as my family isnt from mainland somalia.

MOST IMPORTANTLY; i know how privileged of me it is to choose & say this, and i really feel for all the girls in mainland somalia ):

as title says, could someone tell me his backstory? as a 20 year old diaspora girl, ive only heard of him through his poems. i saved across different social medias, only to (now) find out he apparantly is a part of AS. that is from the comments, by the way. ive removed everything i earlier saved by him. i genuinely feel sick in my stomach and i will never listen to him again !

trying to keep this as short as possible! QUESTION: is it wrong of me to go no-contact, given my situation? for info: this is my (whole) moms side of family

MY REASONS BEING CONSISTENT: evil eye/jealousy, bodyshaming (skinnyshaming), and never updating. with the last part i mean in general, NOT BEING TOLD THE FOLLOWING: travel, marriage and pregnancies/births. if i am told, it is months (sometimes years) later. overall, conversations with them always feel fake & forced! i dont want to have to keep talking to them just cause they are family!

QUICK BACKSTORY
this is my moms side of family, so her siblings, and their kids (my first cousins). all of them are close, and live in the same countries (kenya & the us).

to be even more specific: my mom has 5 siblings. 2 (still) live in kenya (birthplace), while the other 3 live in the us. one of them, who is childfree. but their kids, in total, is 16! from age 20-0, almost all of them close in age. that includes me, but i live in a different country (different continent, too). which doesnt "help" the situation either. note: my first cousins from the us (10 in total) have all spent years in kenya, making them even more close etc. and also, importantly: making them (too), target me!

trying to keep this as short as possible! QUESTION: is it wrong of me to go no-contact, given my situation? for info: this is my (whole) moms side of family

MY REASONS BEING CONSISTENT: evil eye/jealousy, bodyshaming (skinnyshaming), and never updating. with the last part i mean in general, NOT BEING TOLD THE FOLLOWING: travel, marriage and pregnancies/births. if i am told, it is months (sometimes years) later. overall, conversations with them always feel fake & forced! i dont want to have to keep talking to them just cause they are family!

QUICK BACKSTORY
this is my moms side of family, so her siblings, and their kids (my first cousins). all of them are close, and live in the same countries (kenya & the us).

to be even more specific: my mom has 5 siblings. 2 (still) live in kenya (birthplace), while the other 3 live in the us. one of them, who is childfree. but their kids, in total, is 16! from age 20-0, almost all of them close in age. that includes me, but i live in a different country (different continent, too). which doesnt "help" the situation either. note: my first cousins from the us (10 in total) have all spent years in kenya, making them even more close etc. and also, importantly: making them (too), target me!

trying to keep this short! QUESTION: what to do with the rise of ipad kids in our community? any tips and/or other will be appreciated !

BACKSTORY
im 20f, and have one sibling. this issue has & will never affect him, as he is 15. therefore, this issue is not personal to me. with that being said, i often watch others kids (babysit). with the agegroup consisting of toddler-early teen. forgot to add: these are (somali) family friends & neighbors.

almost all of them, have their ipad & ipad charger nearby at all times. and (obviously) use it very often etc. they (mainly) scroll on youtube shorts. cause of that, they cannot sit and watch anything for a long period of time. if i put a movie on (netflix), it becomes backround noise after some time!

therefore, i try other stuff. like going outside and/or staying active inside. one example being letting them choose which just dance etc. we will do. but once again, it doesnt take long before that too, becomes backround noise!

i really feel for them, i do. and i want to help them, but i dont know how. almost all of them come from a home with many kids. therefore, they are often backround noise. another thing is that almost all of them weigh a lot (for their age). that coming from lack of activity, and also often eating junk. i have noticed this pattern with other kids, outside of babysitting (events and parties etc.). PS: ive talked to many (if not all) of their parents, and they dont care enough. but i do, as i babysit their kids every week (sometimes multiple days a week).

har du en liste av de "verste" babynavnene du har hørt? tenker spesielt på dere som har småbarn og/eller jobber med barn osv. !

(sorry for my bad english, its my 3rd language)

trying to keep this short! the things im about to mention, ive heard from many others throughout my whole life! both somalis and non-somalis. for context (if it helps), im f20 (soon).

important note; i am not in any way ashamed of being ethnic somali or anything, im just over «everyone» assuming stuff just cause i am ethnic somali(!)

MOST ASSUMED & ASKED STUFF

I HAVE MANY SIBLINGS: i only have 1 (little brother, 5 years younger). majority of the somalis in my close inner circle (friends & family) consists of them (families) having 3 kids! not 6+

MY FATHER IS NOT PRESENT: i couldnt have asked for a better father, and he has been present my whole life (bare minimum). with that being said; i can count on one hand, how many other somalis i know with fathers who arent present. note: those same somalis are not in my close inner circle (friends & family)

I HAVE BEEN TO SOMALIA BEFORE: i think it is very privileged to assume & say this! given the factors that one might have etc. i (sometimes) take it to heart, but to put it short: i cannot & will not ever go! & also: mainland somalia is not «back home» for me (or for any of my family, for that matter)

I DONT HAVE «TYPICAL» SOMALI HAIR: my hair is completely straight, as is my fathers (got it from him). some have even gone lengths and said that im not a «real» somali cause of it! i am the realest somali as it gets. as i come from a family & lineage of nomads etc. (ogaden). i also know a handful of somalis with the same exact hairtype! not every somali has (beautiful) curly hair!

(sorry for my bad english, its my 3rd language)

trying to keep this short! the things im about to mention, ive heard from many others throughout my whole life! both somalis and non-somalis. for context (if it helps), im f20 (soon).

important note; i am not in any way ashamed of being ethnic somali or anything, im just over «everyone» assuming stuff just cause i am ethnic somali(!)

MOST ASSUMED & ASKED STUFF

I HAVE MANY SIBLINGS: i only have 1 (little brother, 5 years younger). majority of the somalis in my close inner circle (friends & family) consists of them (families) having 3 kids! not 6+

MY FATHER IS NOT PRESENT: i couldnt have asked for a better father, and he has been present my whole life (bare minimum). with that being said; i can count on one hand, how many other somalis i know with fathers who arent present. note: those same somalis are not in my close inner circle (friends & family)

I HAVE BEEN TO SOMALIA BEFORE: i think it is very privileged to assume & say this! given the factors that one might have etc. i (sometimes) take it to heart, but to put it short: i cannot & will not ever go! & also: mainland somalia is not «back home» for me (or for any of my family, for that matter)

I DONT HAVE «TYPICAL» SOMALI HAIR: my hair is completely straight, as is my fathers (got it from him). some have even gone lengths and said that im not a «real» somali cause of it! i am the realest somali as it gets. as i come from a family & lineage of nomads etc. (ogaden). i also know a handful of somalis with the same exact hairtype! not every somali has (beautiful) curly hair!

trying to keep this short! this has been on my mind a lot lately ): to the girls who have been back home (all somali land!) could you please share?

PS: for me, back home is somali region (ethiopia), and also NFD (kenya). not mainland somalia!

WHAT IM ASKING:

- which country/region/city

- year and/or age (if comfortable)

- (most) importantly: what did you wear (and locals, if you can share).

FOLLOW UP/SPECIFICS:

what was the "most" you could get away with wearing? & does it depend on place; neighborhood vs private establishments etc and/or body type etc.?

( we could use this as an archive if enough people comment! )