u/shatturedglass

i (f19) had to switch schools during my final year because i was being severely bullied by my classmates and the situation was turning physical so for my safety i moved to another town and started at a new school. at the new school there were mostly guys and only a few girls and i actually managed to form friendships with them especially through parties when everyone was drinking. aside from the creepy guys who kept preying on me there was one guy i genuinely considered a close friend because he made me feel safe and comfortable around him. ever since we graduated two years ago we’ve had a couple of class parties and he started being really touchy with me like hugging me from behind and putting his hands on my waist. i know i’m at fault for letting it happen but i liked the attention and thought he was a safe person. at the most recent party things felt off he barely acknowledged me at first and i don’t remember most of the night because i blacked out after four shots of vodka. all i remember is being outside smoking with him and then kissing. when i woke up almost everyone had left and my hand was scratched while my knee was bruised purple. ever since then the smell of vodka smoke and the sound of heavy breathing or kissing makes my stomach turn. i genuinely doubt anything beyond kissing and touching happened but i still feel horrible and ashamed. i’m mad at myself for drinking so much but i’m even more upset that everyone saw what was happening while i was clearly wasted and no one stopped it and now they’re laughing about it in the group chat. the guy who kept pushing drinks on me has texted me multiple times in a mocking way. i’ve decided i’m never going to another class party or trip again.

for context this guy has been trying to make moves on me for the last few years and we kissed at a party few months ago. im guessing he does and its very body focused fantasy? the world probably suggests it feels very satisfying and complete for him like a full release and combined with 2 of wands - maybe hes imagining what could have happened next other than a kiss, more touching, different scenarios etc.

thoughts?

for context this guy has been trying to make moves on me for the last few years and we kissed at a party few months ago. im guessing he does and its very body focused fantasy? the world probably suggests it feels very satisfying and complete for him like a full release and combined with 2 of wands - maybe hes imagining what could have happened next other than a kiss, more touching, different scenarios etc.

thoughts?

for context this guy has been trying to make moves on me for the last few years and we kissed at a party few months ago. im guessing he does and its very body focused fantasy? the world probably suggests it feels very satisfying and complete for him like a full release and combined with 2 of wands - maybe hes imagining what could have happened next other than a kiss, more touching, different scenarios etc.

thoughts?

so for context, there is this guy in my university class, whos been flirting w me for 2 years now but despite this weird tension and efforts on his end, i genuinely, 100% never thought anything would ever happen between us in real life bc i dont rly like him 😭

a few weeks before everything happened, i started having these really specific daydreams out of nowhere. i had rly bad relationship w my classmates before i graduated so id iften imagine me proving to them how im better n etc... and instead of imagining me and this guy together in the future or trying to manifest a relationship, in my head, i was picturing this fake past timeline where we were super close friends at my old school, and all my classmates would be jealous of him as he was popular and kind of unreachable as well as our relationship, see us together and gossip. the exact thought in my head was them saying, "omg there’s no way there’s nothing going on between them, they swear they are just friends... yeah, friends who just happen to kiss once in a while." i jus dont know why this even became a thought 😭

i didn't think anything of it at the time and i didn't do it to try and get something, i just played the scene because it would feel fun, like i had something to prove to my classmates and then completely forget about it.

so a couple weeks later, we were at a party. things escalated, and we ended up kissing but we were both drunk, i dont think i would have done this sober. but its the aftermath that caught me off guard cause other than a kiss, its literally identical to the gossip i imagined. instead of classmates tho, our coursemates were talking about it and dissecting the tension, which is exactly what i pictured weeks ago.

i also remember having this weird sinking feeling in my stomach weeks before the party so maybe my intuition wasnt off lol.

what do yall think? did i accidentally manifested it bu tricking my brain into accepting the feeling of the wish fulfilled through a fake past memory or am i just reading too much into it?

so for context, there is this guy in my university class, whos been flirting w me for 2 years now but despite this weird tension and efforts on his end, i genuinely, 100% never thought anything would ever happen between us in real life bc i dont rly like him 😭

a few weeks before everything happened, i started having these really specific daydreams out of nowhere. i had rly bad relationship w my classmates before i graduated so id iften imagine me proving to them how im better n etc... and instead of imagining me and this guy together in the future or trying to manifest a relationship, in my head, i was picturing this fake past timeline where we were super close friends at my old school, and all my classmates would be jealous of him as he was popular and kind of unreachable as well as our relationship, see us together and gossip. the exact thought in my head was them saying, "omg there’s no way there’s nothing going on between them, they swear they are just friends... yeah, friends who just happen to kiss once in a while." i jus dont know why this even became a thought 😭

i didn't think anything of it at the time and i didn't do it to try and get something, i just played the scene because it would feel fun, like i had something to prove to my classmates and then completely forget about it.

so a couple weeks later, we were at a party. things escalated, and we ended up kissing but we were both drunk, i dont think i would have done this sober. but its the aftermath that caught me off guard cause other than a kiss, its literally identical to the gossip i imagined. instead of classmates tho, our coursemates were talking about it and dissecting the tension, which is exactly what i pictured weeks ago.

i also remember having this weird sinking feeling in my stomach weeks before the party so maybe my intuition wasnt off lol.

what do yall think? did i accidentally manifested it bu tricking my brain into accepting the feeling of the wish fulfilled through a fake past memory or am i just reading too much into it?

im leaving out some info for obvious reasons.

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this guy is in my class who became my friend and acts nice to me overall. like at first genuinely nothing more than friendship. but recently, for the last two years, underneath the friendship, he has been trying to make moves and test how far he can go. last year, we were hanging out outside w others and he spent the whole day holding/hugging me from behind, rubbing my shoulders, and moving his hands down near my chest (nothing without my consent, but he was clearly testing me). we went outside to share a cigarette, i noticed everytime hed share a cig hed smoke it first, also saw him try to lean in to kiss me, but i ended up leaving awkwardly.

​

then recently at another party, i was blackout drunk but i do remember going outside to smoke. he held it out far away so i had to lean all the way into his space, and take a smoke from his hand. i dont remember much after this but for to his luck we actually kissed.

​

he has a girlfriend and gets plenty of attention elsewhere, so im just genuinely confused how can a guy be determined and desperate for two whole years just to get a kiss and yet not feel anything while doing such close and intimate things. is it just an ego trip where he treats women like a game he wants to win?

im leaving out some info for obvious reasons.

this guy is in my class who became my friend and acts nice to me overall. like at first genuinely nothing more than friendship. but recently, for the last two years, underneath the friendship, he has been trying to make moves and test how far he can go. last year, we were hanging out outside w others and he spent the whole day holding/hugging me from behind, rubbing my shoulders, and moving his hands down near my chest (nothing without my consent, but he was clearly testing me). we went outside to share a cigarette, i noticed everytime hed share a cig hed smoke it first, also saw him try to lean in to kiss me, but i ended up leaving awkwardly.

then recently at another party, i was blackout drunk but i do remember going outside to smoke. he held it out far away so i had to lean all the way into his space, and take a smoke from his hand. i dont remember much after this but for to his luck we actually kissed.

he has a girlfriend and gets plenty of attention elsewhere, so im just genuinely confused how can a guy be determined and desperate for two whole years just to get a kiss and yet not feel anything while doing such close and intimate things. is it just an ego trip where he treats women like a game he wants to win?

so i want an objective take on this specific interaction i had at a party, i just turned 18 so dont make fun of me for not being rly experienced at this lmao. basically i was out w this guy (who has been trying to make a move on me for three years) who was smoking a cigarette. he put the cigarette up, but didn't bring it close to my face or my lips at all. he just held it stationary at a distance, so i actively had to lean all the way in to his hand/space to smoke from it.

​

im just wondering if this specific action carry any oral/sexual undertones and why would he do that.

​

to me, the visual of having to consciously bow my head, lean down into his personal space, part my lips and pull from his hand while maintaining that close-up eye contact feels rly sexual but i also think i might be reading too much into it. idk.

so i want an objective take on this specific interaction i had at a party, i just turned 18 so dont make fun of me for not being rly experienced at this lmao. basically i was out w this guy (who has been trying to make a move on me for three years) who was smoking a cigarette. he put the cigarette up, but didn't bring it close to my face or my lips at all. he just held it stationary at a distance, so i actively had to lean all the way in to his hand/space to smoke from it.

​

im just wondering if this specific action carry any oral/sexual undertones and why would he do that.

​

to me, the visual of having to consciously bow my head, lean down into his personal space, part my lips and pull from his hand while maintaining that close-up eye contact feels rly sexual but i also think i might be reading too much into it. idk.

so i want an objective take on this specific interaction i had at a party, i just turned 18 so dont make fun of me for not being rly experienced at this lmao. basically i was out w this guy (who has been trying to make a move on me for three years) who was smoking a cigarette. he put the cigarette up, but didn't bring it close to my face or my lips at all. he just held it stationary at a distance, so i actively had to lean all the way in to his hand/space to smoke from it.

​

im just wondering if this specific action carry any oral/sexual undertones and why would he do that.

​

to me, the visual of having to consciously bow my head, lean down into his personal space, part my lips and pull from his hand while maintaining that close-up eye contact feels rly sexual but i also think i might be reading too much into it. idk.

theres nothing rly going on w this guy hes just a friend i kind of?? have a lot of chemistry with (flirting etc etc) but ive been noticing him being kind of overprotective and weird w me. im jus wondering of any of this means anything or its just rooted purely in lust

theres nothing rly going on w this guy hes just a friend i kind of?? have a lot of chemistry with (flirting etc etc) but ive been noticing him being kind of overprotective and weird w me. im jus wondering of any of this means anything or its just rooted purely in lust

theres nothing rly going on w this guy hes just a friend i kind of?? have a lot of chemistry with (flirting etc etc) but ive been noticing him being kind of overprotective and weird w me. im jus wondering of any of this means anything or its just rooted purely in lust

theres nothing rly going on w this guy hes just a friend i kind of?? have a lot of chemistry with (flirting etc etc) but ive been noticing him being kind of overprotective and weird w me. im jus wondering of any of this means anything or its just rooted purely in lust

i graduated a while ago and i only really see my old class like once a year when we all throw a big party. we just had one and things got way too messy. i ended up getting completely wasted and blackout drunk. this guy from the class who i’ve known for two years ended up kissing me outside in the dark, and there was some touching, but the whole thing got abruptly interrupted by someone else. i passed out in a room right after and when i woke up i saw another guy friend that i think was also the one who interrupted us (and a high chance likes me) had been video calling me but when i texted him abt it he said it was either an accident or that someone else had his phone apparently.

to make it worse, this guy highly likely has a girlfriend. he had some photo on his ig for a whole year and it suddenly got deleted. our whole class dynamic has always been super messy and everyone has history with everyone, but the group chat is completely dead silent. only the guy i mentiomed above has texted me late that night flirting and asking for a selfie back but that was all. nobody is saying a word about the party. i know everyone is probably just hungover and keeping their mouths shut so they don't get dragged into relationship drama, but it's still an awkward waiting game.

its been a week and he hasn't texted me at all and is clearly just hiding to protect his own skin, but i honestly wish he would just message me so i know where things stand. i'm just trying to figure out how to act normal the next time we all end up meeting up for a party.

i graduated a while ago and i only really see my old class like once a year when we all throw a big party. we just had one and things got way too messy. i ended up getting completely wasted and blackout drunk. this guy from the class who i’ve known for two years ended up kissing me outside in the dark, and there was some touching, but the whole thing got abruptly interrupted by someone else. i passed out in a room right after and when i woke up i saw another guy friend that i think was also the one who interrupted us (and a high chance likes me) had been video calling me but when i texted him abt it he said it was either an accident or that someone else had his phone apparently.

to make it worse, this guy highly likely has a girlfriend. he had some photo on his ig for a whole year and it suddenly got deleted. our whole class dynamic has always been super messy and everyone has history with everyone, but the group chat is completely dead silent. only the guy i mentiomed above has texted me late that night flirting and asking for a selfie back but that was all. nobody is saying a word about the party. i know everyone is probably just hungover and keeping their mouths shut so they don't get dragged into relationship drama, but it's still an awkward waiting game.

its been a week and he hasn't texted me at all and is clearly just hiding to protect his own skin, but i honestly wish he would just message me so i know where things stand. i'm just trying to figure out how to act normal the next time we all end up meeting up for a party.

i graduated a while ago and i only really see my old class like once a year when we all throw a big party. we just had one and things got way too messy. i ended up getting completely wasted and blackout drunk. this guy from the class who i’ve known for two years ended up kissing me outside in the dark, and there was some touching, but the whole thing got abruptly interrupted by someone else. i passed out in a room right after and when i woke up i saw another guy friend that i think was also the one who interrupted us (and a high chance likes me) had been video calling me but when i texted him abt it he said it was either an accident or that someone else had his phone apparently.

to make it worse, this guy highly likely has a girlfriend. he had some photo on his ig for a whole year and it suddenly got deleted. our whole class dynamic has always been super messy and everyone has history with everyone, but the group chat is completely dead silent. only the guy i mentiomed above has texted me late that night flirting and asking for a selfie back but that was all. nobody is saying a word about the party. i know everyone is probably just hungover and keeping their mouths shut so they don't get dragged into relationship drama, but it's still an awkward waiting game.

its been a week and he hasn't texted me at all and is clearly just hiding to protect his own skin, but i honestly wish he would just message me so i know where things stand. i'm just trying to figure out how to act normal the next time we all end up meeting up for a party.