u/softtides17

The past few years i haven't been praying (im born muslim) because of executive dysfunction. i had days where i do not believe in islam and days where i feel like it might be the truth. I have always wished from god to make me closer to him during rain/before i sleep sometimes. And lately i have been suffering more than ever in my life and decided to start praying. Im not perfect i still do not pray 5 times and im trying with fajr. Im writing this after i prayed ishaa today. The thing is when i pray j almost feel nothing, sometimes im even get more anxious after my prayer. I also get very distracted during salah probably also because of ADHD. I forget what rakaa im on, accidentally recite the wrong surah, or accidentally forget tashahud. And then i feel more exhausted and sometimes irritated after each salah than connectef to god. (Also wanted to ask if that makes the prayer invalid because i have trouble to keep repeating the salah after each mistake when i struggle to preform one salah at the first place) i feel genuinely disconnected, I keep hearing people that i should do khushu but i genuinely cant feel it no matter what. Any advice? And for those who are always praying is it the same and you just hope that god hears you?

The past few years i haven't been praying (im born muslim) because of executive dysfunction (not being able to preform normal daily tasks because of a chemical imbalance in the brain as far as i know) i had days where i do not believe in islam and days where i feel like it might be the truth. I have always wished from god to make me closer to him during rain/before i sleep sometimes. And lately i have been suffering more than ever in my life and decided to start praying. Im not perfect i still do not pray 5 times and im trying with fajr. Im writing this after i prayed ishaa today. The thing is when i pray j almost feel nothing, sometimes im even get more anxious after my prayer. I also get very distracted during salah probably also because of ADHD. And i feel genuinely disconnected from god. I keep hearing people that i should do khushu but i genuinely cant feel it no matter what. Any advice? And for those who are always praying is it the same and you just hope that god hears you?

Lately I've been so anxious that i really wish i would sleep and not wake up again. The anxiety is filling my chest leaving that uncomfortable heavy feeling. I know I should learn to sit with it and do whatever task i have but my anxiety is much bigger than that. I feel anxious about life/ my future/ religion. Im so anxious about regretting not doing well. My fear of studying isnt just about getting a bad grade its about my whole future going. I dont know how to stop this. I wake up thinking about my future. The thoughts never end. Whenever i decide to start the task i have to do i get so anxious to the point where my chest hurts. And it doesn't end after i finish, so i end up getting more burnt out. I genuinely cant study and I've already wasted two year retaking subjects. This is my last year but i cant do it anymore. I just cant. It feels so heavy to the point where i feel dying is much easier. I cant handle that pressure. I just wish everything could end. I cant believe i have to do my daily life tasks with this un comdortable feeling. I dont want to keep living like this.

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ممكن يبقو مع بعض ولا اولي جامعة بالنسبة لهم عيال صغيرة؟ يعني فرق العقلانية يساوي فرق تالتة ثانوي و تانية عدادي مثلا؟

Also does coffee work for longer hair? I want my hair to reach my waist and it only reached my shoulder and usually never grows more. What can i do to stimulaye hair growth? Home ingredients suit me best because im broke🥀

Every time i push myself through the anxiety and do my homework i end up crying forever and become overly exhausted just from a simple task. And avoid it even more later because the anxiety worsens. I now see studying as a major life threat more than just some topics i should study and write it.

PS: i think i have inattentive adhd because i researchwd alot and not just the tiktok self diagnosing thing. I cant go to a consultant or a doctor because my parents dont believe in mental health. Does this sentence also work with people with adhd?

I feel okay when i drink coffee, and suddenly have hope for life but without it i have a deep sadness mixed with suicidal thoughts.

Anyone know what might cause this? I have been like this for a while. A heavy strong painful feeling in my chest. Could it be depression?

PS: i have been dealing with alot of anxiety and suicidal waves due to some problems in my life. but i cant understand where that sadness roots from. Does anybody get it?

If you chose not to take meds and work hard despite the painful feeling in your chest how is it now? What is considered a better option, enduring the pain and pushing yourself to working hard despite of it. Or taking medications to help you in life. School/work. Specially when it needs effort but you lost your will to live.

PS: im asking this because ive heard that when you learn to sit with your anxiety you become more emotionally secure.

lately i have been struggling really badly, and i really want to die, desperately. I find it extremely comforting specially after my father died i have lost all sense of security. I dont want to study, i dont want to get married. I feel so done and i have been crying myself to sleep for 2 months. I dont get better and i dont want life anymore. Im an emotional woman, i cry over everything and i feel threatened by everything, the man i depended on as a child is now gone, and i cant depend on a husband now. In this timing i have to be an independant woman so even of i get divorced i dont end up in the streets. Which im also not capable of with my grades because of my extreme anxiety. Now, i just want to rest, i font want anything from life anymore i just want to die anf finish this life. I cant go on anymore feeling so unsafe and insecure.

Im a 17F lately i have been struggling really badly, and i really want to die, desperately. I find it extremely comforting specially after my father died i have lost all sense of security. I dont want to study, i dont want to get married. I feel so done and i have been crying myself to sleep for 2 months. I dont get better and i dont want life anymore. Im an emotional woman, i cry over everything and i feel threatened by everything, the man i depended on as a child is now gone, and i cant depend on a husband now. In this timing i have to be an independant woman so even of i get divorced i dont end up in the streets. Which im also not capable of with my grades because of my extreme anxiety. Now, i just want to rest, i font want anything from life anymore i just want to die anf finish this life. I cant go on anymore feeling so unsafe and insecure.

I have insane mood swings in the same day, where i gey so suicidal and extremely upset about my failure, then suddenly obessively excited about life and about how life sounds amazing. I dont know if this is normal...but its making me go crazy to the point that when i get so excited about life and actually enthusiastic to study and try to fix my last school year to get accepted in a good college atleast, i worry that after a few hours i will give up because of th3 sudden mood change. I cant control my feelings at all. Is this normal for teenagers? Probably because of our hormones. Also this has just started lately with the stress of highschool and the marks i got that made me realise i wont get into medschool.

I have been miserable for a while in my life, demotivated and incredibly prone to killing myself. But if i drank coffee or met someone i feel an incredble spark for like a few hours sometimes minutes and then i return miserable and suicidal again. Does anyone know what's happening...

Last few weeks since i finished my last exam i have been feeling absolutely miserable over the fact that i tuined my future due to the neglect of my studies. I have a year left in highschool to try to get a mark to get into a good university. But i did so bad on the first two years that i feel so disgusted and shameful of myself. How could i waste this chance. And i didnt study well at all, i was demotivated and exhausted yeah, but i needed to be more disciplined. Even if i get into a univeristy it would be buisness informatics/ managament/ a very low chance of computer science. Not medicine like i wanted to. Altjoigh i know i dont have the emotional capacity for it. My mental health have ruined everything for me. I wish i couldve just done better. Now i feel like i ruined my life and that i dont deserve to libe anymore. For me life IS about studying and getting a good career. And with what i have done i feel like i dont deserve to live anymore. There is more to life than this, but for me... this what makes me a worthy person and now with what i have done i dont think im worthy. I think i should just die atp. I dont want to kive the rest of my life feeling miserable that i didnt do well in school. I wish i was more successful.

With all this anxiety and having no trusted adult to talk to, it feels so heavy specially that im so emotionally neglected, i always need reassurance and it have come to a point where i wanted to finish school and university quick so i could get married and stay at home and find a partner who can soothe this extreme anxiery. I know this isnt good thinking, and i should be independant in my life without relying on a man. But after all this anxiety and crying myself to sleep, i dont think i want to live and if i have to id rather stay at home than go work in something i dont want. I feel so tired i cant do this anymore.

im looking to talk with people between 40-49 who accepts the fact that:

i NEVER send my photos online.

i do not engage in sexual conversations or anything too innapropriate.

i just want someone who's gentle, patient and not willing to engage in anything sexual too quick. someone who actually wants to have someone to talk with after a hard day. also im not very pretty, and im tall just incase we could meet in the future

disclaimer: if you think I'll tolerate any sexual conversations after talking for a while i wont. and i will block you very easily because i will realise your intentions from the very beginning.

im also going through alot of hell right now, so i hope whoever is going to text me is able to hear me.

i keep finding some random russian ai videos posted on. my acount. i never posted anything wtf is happening😭

my father died two years ago, my mom is handling 5 kids alone. ages 21,17(me),12,8,5. she's been so burnt out, working herself all the time and dealing with family issues and inheritance. she started working immedietly after my dad died that she doesnt even have time to grief. sometimes she suddenly bursts into tears out of nowhere. i know its so hard on her, i really wish deeply from my heart that i could remove all the heavy weight from her and take it all. sometimes seeing her cry makes me feel so pained but i try to hold my tears and play it cool to not bother her more. lately I've been having trouble with school and focusing. its basically the year that will decide my future and my mom cares about education so deeply. I've been doing so bad and my mental health is so awful. im trying so hard to do well but i end up doing bad and increasing her worry. i could say im a big part of her worries. she always says she's always worried about me the most one from my siblings. its quite painful knowing that you are one of the biggest burdens on your mom. i wish i can do better and make her proud. but its been really hard, i started sensing some ADHD traits which stop me from being able to function normally i told her multiple times but with all those problems, taking me to a psychiatrist is really hard. financially and time. also my mom is incredibly emotional and very afraid stuff like psychiatrists or medicine could harm me, i understand that since these kind of stuff weren't there when she was my age. but i feel so helpless right now. i dont even know why i wrote this post but if any mother could help me id be so grateful.

also she's been crying alot lately or feeling depressed, me and my siblings are very avoidant we're not the type to come hug you or comfort you we just stand there and stare helplessly. today after she cried from finding out that the car needs alot of fixing and we're already financially struggling i couldnt say anythinh. i just said some jokes while she was drying the clothes. it felt really uncomfortable watching her cry, i know its not about me right now, my mom supresses alot of her problems, sometimes she crashes our yeah, it makes me uncomfortable but im not blaming her, i never will. if she wants to throw all her burdens on me i would take it willingly. it would make me the happiest person. i just want to know how she thinks. what she wants. what would make her feel better. i know my grades would make her feel better. but i cant do it...i really cant.

my father died two years ago, my mom is handling 5 kids alone. ages 21,17(me),12,8,5. she's been so burnt out, working herself all the time and dealing with family issues and inheritance. she started working immedietly after my dad died that she doesnt even have time to grief. sometimes she suddenly bursts into tears out of nowhere. i know its so hard on her, i really wish deeply from my heart that i could remove all the heavy weight from her and take it all. sometimes seeing her cry makes me feel so pained but i try to hold my tears and play it cool to not bother her more. lately I've been having trouble with school and focusing. its basically the year that will decide my future and my mom cares about education so deeply. I've been doing so bad and my mental health is so awful. im trying so hard to do well but i end up doing bad and increasing her worry. i could say im a big part of her worries. she always says she's always worried about me the most one from my siblings. its quite painful knowing that you are one of the biggest burdens on your mom. i wish i can do better and make her proud. but its been really hard, i started sensing some ADHD traits which stop me from being able to function normally i told her multiple times but with all those problems, taking me to a psychiatrist is really hard. financially and time. also my mom is incredibly emotional and very afraid stuff like psychiatrists or medicine could harm me, i understand that since these kind of stuff weren't there when she was my age. but i feel so helpless right now. i dont even know why i wrote this post but if any mother could help me id be so grateful.

also she's been crying alot lately or feeling depressed, me and my siblings are very avoidant we're not the type to come hug you or comfort you we just stand there and stare helplessly. today after she cried from finding out that the car needs alot of fixing and we're already financially struggling i couldnt say anythinh. i just said some jokes while she was drying the clothes. it felt really uncomfortable watching her cry, i know its not about me right now, my mom supresses alot of her problems, sometimes she crashes our yeah, it makes me uncomfortable but im not blaming her, i never will. if she wants to throw all her burdens on me i would take it willingly. it would make me the happiest person. i just want to know how she thinks. what she wants. what would make her feel better. i know my grades would make her feel better. but i cant do it...i really cant.