u/spiritualwaterfall

Being a musician really needs a distinctive image, so I am trying to decide between two images. The first one is a goddess type vibe. It would be goddess inspired. Like imagine gold crown and drapey clothes as if a girl came from heaven lol. The other option is a fox anime girl theme with a distinctive hair color that is long. Imagine a dolly look with eye contacts. I want something that can look like a Halloween costume. These will also be technically sexualized. I’m totally fine with it being that way—entertainment is entertainment.

Just from your personal preference, what would you prefer? And it would be helpful if you mention your gender and age range (I understand age can be too much to reveal on the internet).

Being a musician really needs a distinctive image, so I am trying to decide between two images. The first one is a goddess type vibe. It would be goddess inspired. Like imagine gold crown and drapey clothes as if a girl came from heaven lol. The other option is a fox anime girl theme with a distinctive hair color that is long. Imagine a dolly look with eye contacts. I want something that can look like a Halloween costume. These will also be technically sexualized. I’m totally fine with it being that way—entertainment is entertainment.

Just from your personal preference, what would you prefer? And it would be helpful if you mention your gender and age range (I understand age can be too much to reveal on the internet).

Being a musician really needs a distinctive image, so I am trying to decide between two images. The first one is a goddess type vibe. It would be goddess inspired. Like imagine gold crown and drapey clothes as if a girl came from heaven lol. The other option is a fox anime girl theme with a distinctive hair color that is long. Imagine a dolly look with eye contacts. I want something that can look like a Halloween costume. These will also be technically sexualized. I’m totally fine with it being that way—entertainment is entertainment.

Just from your personal preference, what would you prefer? And it would be helpful if you mention your gender and age range (I understand age can be too much to reveal on the internet).

I have a ton of success stories, but I manifested I’d get a ton of money for doing nothing.

My dad told me very recently he would give me 1000 a month to do whatever I want with it soon. As someone who grew up upper middle class but with a mom who blew hundreds of dollars a day on her shopping addiction, I felt middle class. But I’m feeling crazy.

My dad might have felt bad for me after my recent break up because my family saw that I turned insane. When I get really upset, sometimes something switches in my brain, and I just don’t think. I started driving hundreds of miles and then threatened to crash the car if they didn’t let me do what I wanted. I think they just understood I was in a bad spot mentally. They didn’t really punish me for it. Yeah. My healing process is definitely not linear.

I’m not saying you should go do dangerous stuff, but whatever. I think my mental state pushed it. IDK.

My vent and my story: I dated this guy for two months. But in the last two weeks, I think there was some pressure that ruined his state of mind. He had family tension, kept messing around with his psych medications, and then he was emotionally not right because of it all. But at the same time, I don’t know if that’s an excuse.

Anyway, I felt really uncomfortable because he started doubting the relationship while under these circumstances. Even though we communicated, I knew something was off, and I just needed reassurance. There were certain things he said that bothered me.

I ended up telling him I needed more comfort. I got bothered because I needed more. I ended up telling him I was sick of him. Maybe he interpreted that I was sick of our relationship? I was just annoyed he was spending so much time with friends when I was feeling emotionally on-edge so much.

Anyway, he ended up blocking me off everything. It’s probably over, so I have to cut my losses. I don’t think I need advice. I don’t think he’s coming back. But it’s quite the crushing feeling to just be ghosted with no closure. I think it would be easier to get over if I had some explanation because now I feel up in the air on if he does happen to be coming back.

Idk. Welp. It hurts a lot more because he knows what he’s doing. He had told me being blocked was his worst nightmare with his ex.

I don’t really feel attached to anyone emotionally anymore, and it kills me inside. On top of losing someone, I have no one. I can’t process the pain properly either because I don’t feel safe enough emotionally. It’s sad. I don’t feel content anymore. I keep escaping into ego. I feel a low hum anxiety to escape.

After feeling contentment in the relationship, I feel so empty now. I know people say to be independent, but no… I can’t be. It’s not normal to have no deep connections as a human. I know I have to now just escape into something until I possibly find someone else. No one sees me. I am making new friends, but it’s just hard to attach at this point.

That’s not even considering that I’ve lost a ton of hope now. Like I see so many guys who are emotionally avoidant. They want the high in the beginning, but you don’t know who they truly are until the high settles down and you see if they are looking for that calm love.

It’s hard to find guys who are actually emotionally available. It’s sad because I feel this level of pain because I want to be with people who have gone through the pain I have gone through so we can relate, but they almost always are not healed. And then I have to go through this over and over again. I hate it.

I just wish this world were different. If people were healed, the world would be so much of a better place. We would actually have healthy relationships and not be miserable.

I was thinking about making connections here because we are all on the somatic healing journey. I also feel like since I’ve been healing, I genuinely don’t relate to people like I used to. Not having a massive ego, not being stuck in my thoughts, knowing the point of life is love and not materialism or solely pleasure, and being able to feel my feelings… I genuinely feel connecting with people always hits a wall now because there’s a new part of myself that desires to be seen. It’s hard for others to genuinely connect with me.

It’s also this other aspect where people who I know who CAN feel their emotions find me way too heavy because my mind is focused on healing. We all know here that the trauma we had made us do crazy things. And so the people who had peaceful childhoods would judge me so badly if they knew how broken I was. I don’t feel ashamed of it. But I am realistic on the fact I will probably be rejected and severely judged by anyone who hasn’t experiencing the pain I went through. I’ve seen this firsthand where I’d connect with people, but they wouldn’t want deeper things because of my past. :/

I feel really alone right now. I don’t have anyone. People keep saying to go see a professional, and I get it, but there’s nothing that can replace genuine social interaction that doesn’t have all these professional rules and a paycheck involved. Anyone wanna just chat?

I’ll play quick play with anyone who is chill regardless of skill level. I’m masters in 6v6, plat in support, and have been gm in support a few years ago, but I haven’t been bothered to climb. I’d rather you be nice than good at the game (Have you ever met those insufferable people?). Like they’ll help you climb but am I trying to climb up a cliff to fall and die because that’s what it feels like 😭 I prefer a mic but at leasttttt use chat so I know you’re not a bot lolll comment or dm!

This is so unexpected. For the longest time, I’ve found it extremely hard to do things that I have to do. Like my body has an extreme reaction to me working in any capacity. I need anxiety or shame to get me to do things. But I think I actually might be healing this…

I recently had an IUD, and it unlocked tons of preteen and teenage memories. And the memories I’ve been processing recently were in my preteen and early teen years. This feeling was being overwhelmed. I was overworked. I had no safe environment at home, which made it worse. I was a middle schooler with 7 classes in school, 8 after school, and then the homework for all of them. Then I’d come home to my hysterical mom who would scream at me 24/7 because she was mentally ill. I. Was. Stressed.

Because it wasn’t healed, that unprocessed version of myself was constantly craving time freedom and relaxation. The unprocessed version of me despised work. It was constantly reliving itself in my subconscious. And now that it’s healing, this compulsion has drastically decreased.

I am now healing these memories by feeling them. As I feel them, the nerves vibrate. But today was strange. For the first time, I felt 0 resistance to clean. Usually, it was so hard to do anything I had to do. But now it’s an automatic reflex. It’s different. Wow.

Who knew healing could heal laziness? I thought something was wrong with me lolol 😭

Edit: I know these changes are permanent because I am actually still in a very triggered part of the healing cycle, and my laziness is gone. I am overwhelmed by pain from other issues, but usually the laziness would always flare up when I was triggered. That means this fight is over. And there are many more to overcome and win.

I’ll also just post some of my fun manifestation successes while I’m at it so I’m on topic lol.

I wanted to make a group on here because I feel really positive energy here. The relevant servers feel weird from an intuitive side. Please don’t take this down mods. I just want other spiritual people to go on this path with me 😭

I just want us to help each other with the technicality as well as the social and emotional changes that come with it. It’s a beautiful change for expression, and I think we would rather not do it alone.

My fun manifestation stories:

-engaged at 16
-Tesla
-graduated a year early
-found my husband in one month (Serious about marriage rn)
-found a best friend who had 9939437 hardcore similarities
-dad won a 50k lottery
-making my mental health super good
-spiritual intuition for danger
-manifesting a sports car and already see signs of it coming
-knowing when there were pop quizzes with no prior knowledge
-etc. a kajillion things

I will prob. take my manifestation server seriously so I can teach people, but I just want to do social media for now.

I’ll keep it short and sweet: Back in January, I had protected sex with a guy. We didn’t even have sex. It went in once because he couldn’t stay hard. The next day, I had horrible UTI symptoms and bad odor (I never had this odor before). I found out it was bacterial vaginosis. Man, this guy’s personality was already bad enough, and going to the doctor to get medication sucked.

But I got a bacterial vaginosis flare up in February and just two days ago, I also got another flare up. I never had a horrible odor if I occasionally had irritation before meeting this guy. But it’s now that particular odor, so I feel like it’s the same strain coming back.

How long will it take to calm down? Can a guy permanently alter your microbiome? It’s already been months. I never had these issues ever. I’m 19, and my health is not super great. I’m naturally healthy, but I don’t go outside or enough or have a good lifestyle.

FYI, I did testing and am 100% sure it’s not an STD or pregnancy.

After getting my IUD, I started getting horrible cramps—normal shenanigans. But I also started getting lots of teenage memories back. I think it was stuck in my reproductive system. That might be why the pain was excruciating. Now I’m crying about the pain I felt in my teenage years. Who knew an IUD could unlock somatic memories?

I’ve never touched my teenage memories until now. I saw some preteen ones, but now there are a ton of teenage and preteen ones as well. But it’s ok because I am ready to be there for myself ❤️

I saved someone’s life without even knowing it. It honestly surprised me. I never realized it.

When I was 16, I had a college class in math. Everyone was flunking left and right, but I would get really good grades. And I remembered it was because of a teacher I had back in middle school. She was the reason why I did so well. So I decide to just email her.

I remember it was 2 am on a weekday. I felt like I’d look weird, but I sent it because I knew I would forget to send it. I sent basically a lengthy email about how much I appreciated her as a teacher. I felt like a weird person for messaging her out of nowhere at 2 am, but I just decided to send the email because I knew I would forget later.

3 years later, I bump into her randomly. We talked for a long time. And she brings up the email. I feel really emotional talking about this. She tells me that when I sent her that email, she was in the worst part of her life. She felt so worthless and like no one loved her or appreciated her. She didn’t even want to be alive. She told me she went to her therapist, and her therapist asked her, “Has anyone ever told you that they appreciated you?” She brought up my email. And she printed it out, framed it, put it on her wall, and looked at it everyday. That email that felt so trivial and even a little weird from my side was so monumental to someone in their worst moment. It’s a beautiful but painful realization.

It chokes me in the throat because it makes me emotional. Who knew that just a 5-minute email could make such a big difference? We probably have had moments where we made a huge impact on someone, but we never found out. Just be kind for an extra five minutes everyday. You never know how much someone needs it or if you can save someone.