u/theoneaboveall777

I graduated from University, took my board exam, successfully passing and received my official license in February. I have not looked for a job ever since.

I am scared of the responsibilites that it comes with working. Being a healthcare professional, the burden of taking care of ill people is something I am scared of. During internship, I have Clinical Instructors that could guide me if I do not know what to do or if I am doing something wrong. But after graduating, I am all on my own. All the burden and decision goes to me. I am scared of getting complaints from my patients or colleagues, I am scared of making mistakes that would affect other people, my job, and my reputation. I want to clarify that I did not experience anything extremely negative or hurt someone during my internship.

Also, I wouldn’t deny the fact that I wanted to take a break from multiple years of studying (kinder - university) and stress, and just relax for like a month or two after finishing my degree. During my years in highschool and university, I had sleepless and stressfull nights where I wish I would just graduate already.

But I’ve been just chilling and not doing anything that would benefit to the society, like getting a job. And it’s already about to be June, halfway through the year. I feel like a loser, a disgrace to my family, to my former classmates and professors.

Looking at me in a different perspective, it looks like I’m just a bum, but the fear and insecurity I feel are genuine.

So I did my mbti test on the internet (the very first website after searching “mbti test”) and I got ISTP a few times, and twice in a row a few months ago. But after looking at the description, it really didn’t resonate with me, especially me being a builder and calm under pressure. The only thing it got right was that I choose logic, practicality and realism over emotional approach. After doing some research, they said that I fit more to be an ISTJ

My personality:

1. I am the opposite of calm under pressure. Whenever there is pressure, I lose confidence easily. Whenever I do a mistake and people scold me, get mad at me, or point out that what I did was wrong/bad I get easily dejected and emotional.
2. I like having a solid plan rather than improvising. I like it when I need to follow things step-by-step. But when things go wrong, I don’t know what to do.
3. I prefer logic, realistic approach rather than the emotional sides of things.
4. I love doing things with my own time, but I also enjoy the company of others.
5. I am quiet and like to observe people, but sometimes I am talkative.

Though I am perceived as quiet, introverted and nonchalant by my peers.

1. Social energy: Sometimes I get drained sometimes I do not. Depends highly on my mood, the people whom I talk to, and occasion.

I did my MBTI test, twice, and this is always the result. The description it gave doesn’t resonate 100% for me. More like 50% and some of the descriptions are like complete opposite of what I am. I used the first website after searching for mbti test. I know this is too vague of a question.

My favorite fragrances right now are

1. Nishane Wulong Cha X
2. Oman Luxury Wanderlust
3. Creed Silver Mountain Water
4. LV Imagination
5. Memo Paris Winter Palace