Husband and I are struggling to make the decision to do our own thing during the holidays.
I know what people will come here to comment “who cares, do what you want” but if were that easy of a decision I wouldn’t be posting.
We love the holidays. I don’t love spending the holidays with my husbands mom, sister or her husband. These are the three people who gang up on me when they’re all around me. It comes in passive aggressive insults, exclusion, and trying to take my daughter away from me to do their own thing. They will try to make me mad and then look at me to see if I’m upset and then look at each other. I don’t know if it’s a game to them or they just want me miserable because it makes them feel better about themselves.
My husband doesn’t know how else to be but friendly. He’s afraid it will make the holidays not enjoyable if he shows up and grey rocks them. He doesn’t really even know what that means when I try to explain it to him. He’s extremely kind by nature, he doesn’t really have a mean bone in his body. He used to have a temper before we went no contact with SIL and BIL/ quit taking his mothers feelings into account. He was always afraid of what his parents thought or if they’d be disappointed in him. Now he doesn’t care. He hasn’t had one temper outburst since this change and that’s been almost 2 years. We have been so happy since we decided to live for each other and our kids.
So that’s what I try to tell him, let’s continue to be happy and have our own Thanksgiving and invite your parents and grandparents here. It doesn’t even have to be on Thanksgiving. He says he wants our daughter to experience seeing her family, not SIL/BIL in particular but his grandmother and other aunts/uncles but they don’t usually come. But we could invite them to our house if he wanted.
I don’t really know what he’s afraid of. Maybe he’s afraid of his parents’ reaction if he tells them we want to do things differently this year. I do know he said he feels like he will blow up on SIL/BIL and doesn’t want to start that kind of drama or let our kids see that. He’s afraid he won’t see or catch their passive aggressive comments because last year he didn’t catch the ones they threw at me at Christmas. I told him he can go see his family if he wants and me and the kids will stay home but he said he’ll never go there without me.
I struggle with deciding on what to do because on one hand, I don’t want my children around them. I feel sick bringing my youngest around SIL/BIL because they told MIL while I was pregnant that they didn’t care how stressed I was from them being mean to me and it potentially causing me to lose the baby (I had a miscarriage scare and had to go to the hospital because I was bleeding at work, luckily he was ok). Last year BIL made fun of my daughter’s shoes and she looked at him like she didn’t know what to say. I felt so sad in the moment because it seemed like he was doing that to hurt me.
But then I also think I could go and tolerate the treatment for the sake of my husband and children so that he can spend time with the family he wants and the kids can play with their cousins. I don’t want my husband to resent me in the future and I told him as such. He said he wouldn’t ever resent me. Or maybe my kids might. I can’t predict the future.
I just don’t know what to do. If y’all could kindly tell me what you would do in this situation, maybe it could help us make the decision. Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment