u/whysosidious69420

(this was that scene with a hitler speech dubbed over it)

(Clickbait image, this is a serious post)

My girlfriend recently made me watch all of the movies except for Eclipse, which apparently is pretty skippable, since I didn’t lose track of anything that was happening despite missing 1/5th of the overall plot

They all have issues, but they’re actually okay other than breaking dawn part 2, which is pure unfiltered ass imo. I believe “fantasy romance series with vampires and werewolves set in the woods of the Pacific Northwest” is a really cool concept for a story, it was just executed poorly

Here’s what I’d do

Remove the (quasi-)pedophilia

Goes without saying. In my version Bella would be a 22 year old adult, Forks would be her hometown and she’d be coming back to her dad’s home after college. Makes a romance with a century old vampire a lot more palatable (Edward would’ve also been changed in his early-mid 20s). Also give Jacob a different love interest and make his imprinting on the baby (I’m NOT keeping the name renesmee) purely a protection/godfather thing

less toxic romance

Would be much easier with the previous point. Bella and Edward aren’t mortally obsessed with one another like that, their thing is just trying to be a normal couple despite the completely unusual situation they’re in.

Jacob is Bella’s ex from high school, not basically an incel who had a crush on her at age 9 and never got over it. With Edward and Bella breaking up in New Moon, she briefly gets back together with Jake, but they realize they’re not right for one another. This still causes him to transform and things to go south, but it’s a more mature take on it than him lashing out because she wouldn’t kiss him in the movie teather

Charlie isn’t left completely in the dark

He knows about the werewolves from the start and suspects the Cullens are another sort of monster. He tries to persuade Bella into not dating Edward but she’s grown up here so not much he can do anyway.

Cut half of the Cullen kids

Seriously, in the movies at least, only Edward and Alice do anything important

There’s an actual fight in the end and the volturi are overthrown

This is possibly the most egregious decision I’ve ever seen in filmmaking. The CLIMAX of the whole series is a FAKE FUTURE VISION and it ends with the Evil vampire government still in power and able to keep doing evil shit. Horrible message and such a blue balling scene. That fight should’ve been real for the most part- except Carlisle dying. In the end with the Volturi beaten, he’d be the new “vampire king” and ensure that it’d be a new, fairer system where they can live in as much harmony with humans and wolves as possible.

Also Charlie would be able to know the full truth because no one will try to kill him (Seriously that’s my biggest gripe with these films. Poor Charlie, from his perspective some horrible shit is always happening to his daughter and he has no clue what or why that is. I would’ve taken Bella and fucked off from Washington state in the first movie)

Finalmente poderemos alcançar os céus e nos tornarmos deuses! Graças a nossos esforços, θα μας θυμούνται για πάντα!

“Aff, já começou a lacração”, dispara o anjo Lúcifer

Odysseus (The Iliad, the Odyssey): is the reason long voyages are called an odyssey

Achilles (The Iliad): is the reason for the term “Achilles heel”, which refers to the part of his body that was pierced by an arrow

Charles Boycott (real life): British landlord who tried to unjustly evict 11 Irish tenants. In response, the local community cut him off and ostracized him, refused to do trade with him and even deliver his mail, giving rise to the term boycott

Ambrose Burnside (real life): American civil war general who had predominant facial hair on his cheeks. This style was then named “burnsides”, which later evolved into “sideburns”

Recently became aware that they’re perceived as “dying” in the USA, and that it was one of the reasons for the success of the backrooms movie. That’s virtually the opposite from down here. My city had maybe three malls when I was born (2005) and now it has 8. Two of them have a cinema occupying the highest floor, and while there are still cinemas outside of malls, they’re much emptier than those two. I guess it’s a security thing, since streets are dangerous after dark

Ronaldinho tinha 34 anos, a mesma idade do Neymar hoje, e o Kaká era ainda mais novo. Nenhum dos dois havia se aposentado ainda. Ronaldo Fenômeno se aposentou antes, mas mesmo ele seria mais novo do que o Cristiano Ronaldo e Messi nessa copa. Caso Cristiano jogue em 2030 (como ele já deu indícios que vai) ele será mais velho do que o Kaká é hoje.

Porque o Brasil da época “aposentava” os craques mais cedo? Isso era uma particularidade nossa, ou era uma regra no futebol que começou a mudar recentemente?

1958-1930= 28 years

2030-2002=28 years

Just look at the rest of The Seven:

Homelander: Superman

Maeve: Wonder Woman

The Deep: Aquaman

Mr. Marathon: Barry Allen Flash

A-Train: Wally West Flash

Lamplighter: Green Lantern

Translucent is a loose adaptation of the comics’ Jack From Jupiter, who parodies Martian Manhunter (had to be done because the show dropped the storyline where Vought claimed some of its heroes were of alien origin, in the show the propaganda instead appeals to American evangelicals and claims that powers are a gift from God)

Starlight: Stargirl

What’s the one major member of the Justice League who’s missing? The one who wears all black? Certainly not Snake Eyes or Deadpool, like some fans claim Noir is supposed to represent.

Yes, Tek Knight is *also* a Batman parody, a popular character can be parodied more than once in the same media