Found a heroin dealer today. About to buy some and shoot up, I don’t fucking care anymore.
I give the fuck up. I’ll never have a good life. It’s just been shit for as long as I can remember and only ever gets worse, why would that change? No point to even give a shit about how I live. Fuck life it’s a damn joke. If I can’t get the balls to end it then I’m gonna numb this pain and give no fucks about anything anymore.
I have autism, been depressed and suicidal since middle school. I have no money, I have terrible credit, can’t get motivated to work or hold a job, have an eating disorder, fat, can’t save money, live with my grandma, have so much debt and an eviction. My biggest supporter I had was my mom, she’d do anything for me to make sure I’m living a good life, and she died of breast cancer in 2018. Life is a fucking cruel joke. The worst thing is I’ve never had a girlfriend, and I can’t get one. I’ll never be able to get married or have kids, which is what I want more than anything in life. I can’t socialize because of my autism, I don’t know how to, and no girl will ever give me attention. Whoever said tall guys get girls deserves to be tortured to death.
So fuck it, if I can’t find love, if I can’t get what I want, I’m becoming a junkie. About to finally feel good, peace out bitches! Maybe one day I’ll get so high on something I’ll shoot myself, yay!