u/xDelicateFlowerx

So how did I continue going and working on healing with this type of baggage? And the harm caused specficially when I would disclose abuse it was reframed. My pain was re-packaged as self-loathing & self-pity, my life struggles restructured as learned helplessness, my domestic violence history as a lack of boundaries (they were the only ones that provided me support and stability), and my issues with psychiatric medications causing side effects as my unwillingness to accept help.

So honestly, how do I make the most out of therapy with this history? Has anyone else dealt with this and find a solution?

P.S. - I also must attend therapy to keep my safety net. So stopping isn't an viable solution for me either.

TIA 💜

Edit: All of my therapists over the past ten years have been trauma informed, some certified in IFS, DBT, ACT, and EMDR. One even personally met Peter Levine during a continuing education credit seminar.

What has helped you manage this condition? How do cope with increasing fragmentation during crisis or high stress moments in your life? Is full integration your hope or living well with all your parts?

How do you navigate the mental health system and do you accept all of them? Even the ones that may have changed overtime?

Its so damn embarrassing!! I just got up from wooden chair at restaurant and could see condensation on chair right where I was sitting. I have on jeans as well.

Its hard to even find a therapist that understands how intensely stressful or even traumatic psychosis episode can be. I shared this with one recently and it was hard to get support because she acted like its something I need to move on from and have hope. I've had at least one severe ptsd-psychosis episode per year. So I don't feel very hopeful about this or having a sense of control in my life.

This might be a coincidence but one store I worked out of today, I had so many ID verifications. I wondered if cart checkers are hitting I don't match my account trying to flag my account. Again, could be coincidence but with the upcoming change, many employees for dispensing and picking are unhappy with the changes to orders being delivered by Spark. Claiming, many of us aren't worth the trouble and cannot do S&D properly.

I don't. I used to I think before I had additional trauma and moved to a new state. I have a BF how is well adjusted and so are the people around him. I realized I fucked my life is and how little I am doing. Disabled, abysmal work (gig economy), no kids, a couple long time friends which none live near me, no career, education worthless, and got out of a bad bout of psychosis a 6 months ago.

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Where do I even go from here?

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What does life look like for yall? Are you heading in a direction you want or feel stagnant?

And I am unsure of how to come to terms with it. Ive often argued that I experienced so much trauma and adversity that it isnt possible to diagnose me with something so serious. I thought, I dont believe in aliens, or bugs crawling inside of my skin. I have never believed I was jesus or god. So I can't have it, right?

I mean I believed I could make things happen when I was a kid. Change traffic lights with my mind, or cast out good energy to receive positive back. I thought the people harming me were demons and I was really living in hell. I hear voices of an insulting nature and often resemble the voices of people I have met. Sometimes when really triggered, it will loop in my head in the person's or past abusers voice.

But all of this is so tied to my trauma that I am like I can't have schizophrenia. I'm also terrifed of the idea because I have issues with medication treatment plan for this condition. And I dont want to be forced into it.

Do you wait if they dont answer or sign yourself and move on? To be clear this is unrelated to age restricted orders or code. Its only a signature prompted in app after selecting drop-off location.

Ive been stuck in situations waiting a long time and without an answer from the customer. Ive wondered about dipping but it imagine its risky business.

I was wondering something, I see varied amount of folks whose base payments are as low as 1300 per month. But technically, the initial amount we received when first approved for benefits can grow and is this only tied to COLA?

Struggling immensely with the reality I must stay in therapy but also frustrated because its been so unhelpful. I've become worse in a lot of ways and frequently left with cleaning up the mess while also being unsupported. Not to mention the irony of using precious resources (my finances) to pay for something directly causing added distress. And since I must go, I am wondering how to better protect myself during the therapeutic process?

My current therapist was assisting me with coping through my abusive relationship with my biological mother. I was struggling with cutting contact at the behest and support of my therapist. We agreed that the relationship was harming me more than helping. I worked up the courage to end the toxic relationship and even sent the closing letter I sent to my mother to my therapist. It outlined the abuse I suffered and how I never wanted contact again.

Fast forward, I've been in a downward spiral for weeks since I ended things. First session after this happened my therapist was supported and understood why I would be devastated. She even supported me and let me know this may last awhile.

The following week, my therapist in the midst of sharing how much pain I'm in suggested I could call my mother if I wanted that she would maybe forgive me and speak with me.

Wtf- like excuse my language but I was triggered in shook by her suggestion. I have since even brought it up and I received homework to handle my anxiety.

Is this a normal just oopsie? To me it doesn't feel like it given the amount of context. I mean we talked about the relationship with my mother for a month and she was adamant and on board that this relationship isnt serving me.

Thoughts?

My current therapist was assisting me with coping through my abusive relationship with my biological mother. I was struggling with cutting contact at the behest and support of my therapist. We agreed that the relationship was harming me more than helping. I worked up the courage to end the toxic relationship and even sent the closing letter I sent to my mother to my therapist. It outlined the abuse I suffered and how I never wanted contact again.

Fast forward, I've been in a downward spiral for weeks since I ended things. First session after this happened my therapist was supported and understood why I would be devastated. She even supported me and let me know this may last awhile.

The following week, my therapist in the midst of sharing how much pain I'm in suggested I could call my mother if I wanted that she would maybe forgive me and speak with me.

Wtf- like excuse my language but I was triggered in shook by her suggestion. I have since even brought it up and I received homework to handle my anxiety.

Is this a normal just oopsie? To me it doesn't feel like it given the amount of context. I mean we talked about the relationship with my mother for a month and she was adamant and on board that this relationship isnt serving me.

Thoughts?

How do you apply for DAC? I checked online and I don't see an application selection listed.

TIA