u/1-800-l4tely

unfortunately i’m in a state where it’s constantly hot, so i don’t know how to go about this, nor where to find any clothing that fits this style that’s not super expensive.
i’m in love with the 80s-early 2000s style, the glam punk, all of that stuff, but i just don’t know where to look for these things.
i know layering accessories is also a big factour of this style, though

i spent a lot of my summer break on this project. please be gentle, it’s my first time doing DSBM, and particularly black metal like screaming. i just felt with as sucky as my life has been the screams resonate with me and my pain so much. i hope this will help some of you as well.

by the way, i tried to post this on alt fashion subs but it kept being removed for whatever reason

so i’ve had my tape on since Thursday, we are moving and won’t be at our new house til the 24th of this month… the issue is i accidentally packed up the oil to remove it..
is this too long or will i be fine?
my mum keeps saying “you’ll be sorry when your skin gets infected” and yada yada yada..

growing up i've never been open with my emotions, due to a lot of trauma i never understood how to handle them, once i came out as a guy it only got worse because i didn't understand the world and why so much hate was against me. that being said, i've never been good at communicating or comforting because i didn't know how to communicate my own feelings or comfort myself. the only way i know how to is through music, whether that's when i produce, play the drums or write lyrics. and obviously i can't get my girlfriend to do that if she doesn't want to, because i realize people do cope differently. i added this to make a point that i am not good with emotions, nor am i good with comforting.

she always says how she feels she's not pretty, and i don't really know what to say. today (the 9th) is our one month, and i always text her with a "good morning, gorgeous!" and it just seems it's not syncing in. and i understand that because me being trans i don't see myself as handsome either, or as enough/ that im less than a man. so i do understand the insecurity but in my own way, because even when she tells me im handsome it still isn't enough. but i just move on and forget about how i feel and look. with her, im not sure how to respond. i just got a text from her that read: «And genuinely sometimes that's all I wanna be. I wanna be pretty.»

i responded with «okay and i want to be a handsome alternative guy with tats and a nice jawline, long hair and a peach fuzz mustache and a deeper voice, but guess what?
i'll get there, and you'll achieve your goals just as i want to. even though you don't really need to, you'll get where you want to be»

she responds with «But that's not the point.
The point was I'm insecure as hell and can genuinely never be as pretty as all these other people. I can't compare to your ex because she was absolutely stunning.
There's always the thought that you'll go back to her because she's prettier»

i respond back «bro she was NOT no one is pretty when they're ugly inside
the hottest girl in the world could be the ugliest due to how she treats someone»

i don't know how to handle this, im so sorry if this is insensitive or foolish but as ive stated i had to give a bit of background info as to why im unfamiliar with these things.
is there any way i can possibly boost her self esteem or have her finally believe she's beautiful?? sorry for how long this is

i already posted a question relating to my identity. but it’s just weighing on me even more now. but for anyone who didn’t see it, i’m trans FtM 17, almost 18 in october.

i want nothing more than to get top surgery and get on testosterone.
i told my mum who was a methodist priest and took theology in college this and she says my body is a temple and God gave it to me for a reason.
and that it’s ultimately up to me if it’s wrong or not.
which makes me question myself.

i’m so tired of being trans.
i don’t like it, id choose to be normal if i could.
i don’t want to choose to have blisters every other week from binding my chest.
why would i physically leave lasting harm on myself to be a little comfortable in my body instead of feeling completely uncomfortable.
i want to be a normal cis girl.
but i just physically can’t, it’s so mentally draining and painful. because i’m so stuck between wanting to get surgery in a few months when im 18. or later when im in my mid 20s.

i’m so tired of it, i just want to be normal, i don’t understand why i have been chosen to deal with this when i can’t get a straight answer from my mum who is extremely knowledgeable on christianity, but not on the transgender subject. most days i dont want to wake up. i dont want to be here half the time, it feels like im on the outside, looking in. i know this bodies not mine to begin with, i wish i could crawl out of my skin and see the world as who i desire to be.

i wish i could go outside without this fear of harm.
this body means nothing to me anymore.

i’m 17, almost 18 FtM trans and bi. i’ve been out as trans since i was 14, i showed signs of bisexuality allegedly at 7, which is true because i recall it, i didn’t know what lgbtq was at that time, by the way.

so im almost 18. im uncomfortable in my body. i pray to God to guide me, i want top surgery and to get on testosterone.

i think testosterone wouldn’t be considered a sin, because if everyone is right and its a phase.. which i dont think it is (considering its been almost 4 years since ive openly been out, and 5 years since i knew i was trans) i can turn back from that. surgery on the other hand, i can reverse and i understand that.

i know its not a sin to be queer, my mum was a methodist priest and has a degree in theology, knows the original greek and hebrew texts. with that, ive learned that it’s okay to romantically be with the same gender but sexually it is not, which makes sense. love is different than lust, same sex or not.

that’s besides the point, but when i talk to God i have the voice in my head as if He is talking to me, i used to cry every night begging God to just make me normal, and all i hear is “just wait for what i have planned, my child.”
and i know i have to wait, because everything is in His time and in His hands.

but i just feel like these supposed whackos on the internet are right when they say im a disgrace.
but i was never made to feel uncomfortable with who i am. i hate looking in the mirror, i hate having to see this unsightly body that isn’t mine.
it’s like i look in the mirror and its a whole different person from who i want to be.

i do pass as a male, but the self doubt is what gets me. i just don’t know if God loves me enough. my mum would totally cry if she heard me say that again, and i know it’s a stretch. but i just hate being me, i want to be normal and people don’t seem to understand that transgenderism is a chemical thing, there’s studies on it. i genuinely feel mental agony and so much shame for what i look like and who i want to be, it truly isn’t a choice, i have blisters every other week from binding my chest, that’s not something a normal person would choose. between hiding who i am and making myself even more uncomfortable or going through the pain just to feel a little comfort?? the choice is obvious.

i feel so misunderstood and miserable in the christian and queer community. i wake up everyday praying to just not wake up, so i don’t have to deal with this, or be a disgrace to other christian’s. but i know it doesn’t work like that.
i just, i don’t know what to do.

when i talk to my mum about these sorts of things regarding my identity she says “it’s up to you, it’s your choice if you want to do that”

which isn’t helpful when i need a perspective from someone very knowledgeable in christ.

can someone help me? or at least give me some insight?
i don’t really know what to do anymore.
it’s been 5 long agonizing years, even at 10 when i knew something wasn’t right with me. when i knew i liked both boys and girls.

apologies for the drag on, im just in so much internal conflict. i appreciate anyone who had the time to read this. i hope any other queers here find that they’re not alone in their struggles, know that even though i can’t believe my own words, God does love you very much.

heya! i’m 17, we’ve had my little buddy, petey since i was 4. me and my family have tried to get him to eat veggies and fruits for .. well ever since we had him, in this time we have had him, he won’t eat anything but pellets. as far as anything else he eats everything he shouldn’t have regularly, like peanut butter, bread, mashed potatoes, cheese, seeds, nuts.

we tried mashing some veggies up and sprinkling his pellet dust over them, he seemed to be repulsed by it😂
i tried to coat some things in peanut butter hoping that flavour would be more noticeable than the things he didn’t like.

we tried the method of acting like we were eating the veggies and enjoyed it, he gave it a whirl when he saw us, but immediately spit it out.

i feel bad for him, because it seems like his past owners only raised him by pellets and i worry about his health a lot :(

i tried freezing some things in ice water because he loves ice, he drank some and then tossed it.

any other solutions? :(