u/According-Fruit-3676

I (38F) would love to know the reasons that anyone went low or no contact with their parents.

I have a complicated with my parents. They are nice (most of the time) but emotionally unavailable, and I feel completely invisible around them and completely misunderstood by them. Spending time with them is strained and awkward, and we have completely different values. They are not intentional when it comes to spending time with my kids, or helping me when I need support. They are uninterested in my professional life, and judge my personal life and life decisions I have made.

Tell me about your relationship with your parents and what made you decide to go low or no contact with them, and how has that decision affected you and them?

TL;DR: Tell me about your experience of going low or no contact with your parents and how things have gone since you made that decision.

I am 38F struggling with my parents. We recently moved back to the city where they live, and being close to them is proving problematic.

My parents (63F & 69M) are simultaneously uninterested and invasive. For example, my dad won’t initiate any phone calls, texts, or spending time together with me or my kids and husband and when we do see him he is always saying he has other things to do (fix his truck, do home repairs, etc) so he makes you feel like a bother and like you’re wasting his time. He is always on his phone when we’re at his house, making conversation and connection pretty much impossible.

My mom seems to want connection, but doesn’t seem to know how to do it. She invites us over for visits and does initiate getting together and catching up, but if I ever share something I’m struggling with, my feelings are brushed aside and invalidated. She wants to track me on Find My and gets upset with me when I cancel the tracking.

They don't initiate helping me with childcare or life stff. My parents are retired and don’t ever offer to help me with childcare, so I ask but then feel uncomfortable asking because they make it out to be such a burden, especially with my dad he makes me feel like I’m infringing on his time.

They are uninterested in my personal life when it comes to work, or other things and when I do share about exciting things in my work life, they really don’t give a shit. They acknowledge what I’ve said but can barely look up from their phones or whatever they’re doing to show any interest.

In the past I have moved away to different provinces to get away from them when it gets too painful. I can’t move away for quite a while, how do I live near them without going crazy? How do I stop wanting approval and interest from them when they put so little effort into our relationship and their relationship with my kids?

I think that I need to go low-contact, but I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't want to be a jerk, but I am also really unhappy with the relationship as it is.

TL;DR: My parents are aloof, don't initiate helping me with childcare, etc and don't show much interest in me when we do spend time together. How do I handle this? Do I go low-contact? In the past I've moved away because it all becomes too much, but I'm living near them for a while and need advice.

I am 38F struggling with my parents. We recently moved back to the city where they live, and being close to them is proving problematic.

My parents (63F & 69M) are simultaneously uninterested and invasive. For example, my dad won’t initiate any phone calls, texts, or spending time together with me or my kids and husband and when we do see him he is always saying he has other things to do (fix his truck, do home repairs, etc) so he makes you feel like a bother and like you’re wasting his time. He is always on his phone when we’re at his house, making conversation and connection pretty much impossible.

My mom seems to want connection, but doesn’t seem to know how to do it. She invites us over for visits and does initiate getting together and catching up, but if I ever share something I’m struggling with, my feelings are brushed aside and invalidated. She wants to track me on Find My and gets upset with me when I cancel the tracking.

They don't initiate helping me with childcare or life stff. My parents are retired and don’t ever offer to help me with childcare, so I ask but then feel uncomfortable asking because they make it out to be such a burden, especially with my dad he makes me feel like I’m infringing on his time.

They are uninterested in my personal life when it comes to work, or other things and when I do share about exciting things in my work life, they really don’t give a shit. They acknowledge what I’ve said but can barely look up from their phones or whatever they’re doing to show any interest.

In the past I have moved away to different provinces to get away from them when it gets too painful. I can’t move away for quite a while, how do I live near them without going crazy?

How do I stop wanting approval and interest from them when they put so little effort into our relationship and their relationship with my kids?

TL;DR: My parents are aloof, don't initiate helping me with childcare, etc and don't show much interest in me when we do spend time together. How do I handle this? In the past I've moved away because it all becomes too much, but I'm living near them for a while and need advice.

I (38F) shared my location with my mom when I was travelling overseas with my kids for safety reasons. I forgot to stop sharing my location and would like to stop.

In the past when I’ve stopped sharing my location with her she gets upset saying that if something happens she wants to know where I am (and vice versa).

The problem is she tracks all of us kids and my spouse and I know that she checks the tracking app all the time. Seen her do it, and she talks about the app often.

We’re not close, and she’s not really interested in the deeper parts of my life. She just wants to know where I am to make her feel better. I think the tracking is an attempt to make her anxiety feel better knowing that she knows where we are all the time but it’s weirding me out a bit.

Tl;dr my mom tracks me on Find My. I would like to stop sharing my location but she makes me feel so gaslit and crazy for wanting to cancel it. Not healthy, I know.

I am 38F struggling with my parents. We recently moved back to the city where they live, and being close to them is proving problematic.

My parents are simultaneously uninterested and overbearing. For example, my dad won’t initiate any phone calls, texts, or spending time together with me or my kids and husband and when we do see him he is always saying he has other things to do (fix his truck, do home repairs, etc) so he makes you feel like a bother and like you’re wasting his time. He is always on his phone when we’re at his house, making conversation and connection pretty much impossible.

My mom seems to want connection, but doesn’t seem to know how to do it. She invites us over for visits and does initiate getting together and catching up, but if I ever share something I’m struggling with, my feelings are brushed aside and invalidated. She wants to track me on Find My and gets upset with me when I cancel the tracking.

My parents are retired and don’t ever offer to help me with childcare, so I ask but then feel uncomfortable asking because they make it out to be such a burden, especially with my dad he makes me feel like I’m infringing on his time.

They are uninterested in my personal life when it comes to work, or other things and when I do share about exciting things in my work life, they really don’t give a shit. They acknowledge what I’ve said but can barely look up from their phones or whatever they’re doing to show any interest.

In the past I have moved away to different provinces to get away from them when it gets too painful. I can’t move away for quite a while, how do I live near them without going crazy?

How do I stop wanting approval and interest from them when they put so little effort into our relationship and their relationship with my kids?

I look at these posts regularly of people buying homes. Some for small amounts of money, and some for outrageous prices. I wonder when I look at these posts, does the thought of living in one place for 10, 20, 30+ years scare you? Do you feel settled after you purchase your home and feel content and happy?

When I think about buying a home and living in one place for longer than a few years I start to feel trapped.

Do any of you feel that way, or do you genuinely value the security of a home base that you own more than the flexibility and freedom of renting?

I have always struggled with overspending, but I finally reached a point where I don't as much anymore through lots of introspection, and taking a hard look at past behaviours.

I'm curious, though, as mainstream personal finance books don't focus too much on overspending, do you consider overspending an addiction? Is that why mainstream personal finance books don't speak to it very often?

When I looked for books on overspending in the past, there wasn't many mainstream options. There were a handful of self published books on Amazon. That surprised me because based on the national debt levels, it seems that there are a lot of people who struggle with overspending, but not many mainstream financial literacy folks talking about it.

The books are all very similar with sharing the basics of financial literacy (which is good and important) but I know that there must be people out there like me that knew the basics of financial literacy, but still struggled with overspending.

Looking forward to your thoughts.

Seriously considering a move to Vancouver Island or one of the smaller islands, but want to make an informed move.

I’ve heard that theres a doctor shortage and that there are issues with health care. I’ve heard housing costs are an issue, as well as various other taxes. I’ve also heard that crime and drugs are an issue on parts of the island. Gas and grocery prices, are they more expensive on the island than in other parts of BC/Canada?

I’m living in Alberta and not enjoying being here, but know that nowhere is perfect. I have lived in the city and smaller towns in Alberta and haven’t enjoyed the climate, the politics, the massive growth (development) and the health care issues here.

Work can come with me as I work remotely so that’s not an issue.

I want to know the good and the bad from people who live on the island/ islands.

Thanks in advance!

Seriously considering a move to Vancouver Island or one of the smaller islands, but want to make an informed move.

I’ve heard that theres a doctor shortage and that there are issues with health care. I’ve heard housing costs are an issue, as well as various other taxes. I’ve also heard that crime and drugs are an issue on parts of the island. Gas and grocery prices, are they more expensive on the island than in other parts of BC/Canada?

I’m living in Alberta and not enjoying being here, but know that nowhere is perfect. I have lived in the city and smaller towns in Alberta and haven’t enjoyed the climate, the politics, the massive growth (development) and the health care issues here.

Work can come with me as I work remotely so that’s not an issue.

I want to know the good and the bad from people who live on the island/ islands.

Thanks in advance!

Seriously considering a move to Vancouver Island or one of the smaller islands, but want to make an informed move.

I’ve heard that theres a doctor shortage and that there are issues with health care. I’ve heard housing costs are an issue, as well as various other taxes. I’ve also heard that crime and drugs are an issue on parts of the island. Gas and grocery prices, are they more expensive on the island than in other parts of BC/Canada?

I’m living in Alberta and not enjoying being here, but know that nowhere is perfect. I have lived in the city and smaller towns in Alberta and haven’t enjoyed the climate, the politics, the massive growth (development) and the health care issues here.

Work can come with me as I work remotely so that’s not an issue.

I want to know the good and the bad from people who live on the island/ islands.

Thanks in advance!

I'm looking for books on personal finance that focus on overspending and spending problems, as well we overconsumption. Are there any books that you know of that focus on this topic? I've read all the conventional personal finance books but haven't found any that focus on this topic - using debt to fund shopping habits, spending over budget limits, can't stop shopping despite wanting to, etc.

Thanks in advance!

I'm looking for personal finance books about spending problems, specifically overspending. Can anyone recommend some books about spending too much money and overspending problems? Thanks in advance!

I'm looking for personal finance books about spending problems, specifically overspending. Can anyone recommend some books about spending too much money and overspending problems? Thanks in advance!

I'm looking for personal finance books about spending problems, specifically overspending. Can anyone recommend some books about spending too much money and overspending problems? Thanks in advance!

I'm from Alberta and thinking about moving to Vancouver Island or one of the smaller islands. I love the idea of it until I start thinking about earthquakes, especially the cascadian fault "pending" earthquake that's all over the internet. The threat of "The Big One" (earthquake) scares me, but I'm from Alberta. We have heatwaves, wildfires, tornadoes, hailstorms and wicked blizzards and freezing temperatures. Is an earthquake enough reason not to move out west?

Essentially, am I experiencing fear of the unknown when I live somewhere where natural disasters are just as (or maybe more) likely?

Is it silly to not move to the west coast because of fear of the earthquake?