u/AffectionateBoat382

When I have followed the 30% rule for rent, I have always based it on my net income. So, if my take home pay after taxes, health insurance, what I choose to put into a 401k, etc. is let's say $7,500, then my max rent or housing payment is $2,250.

I am apartment hunting right now and people I have asked or compared to are spending much more on rent. I asked and some of them are basing it off their gross income because that is technically the requirement to qualify. I guess I can understand that...most landlords do accept you if you make 2.5x-3.5x the rent with your gross income.

So, what do you do? Also, if you do not follow the 30% rule, what do you do instead?

I’m 27F, 5’5” and I’ve lost 30lbs (150lb>120lb) in the 5 months I’ve been on my glp-1. I primarily got on it because I was a binge eater (but also would get rid of the food I ate in an unhealthy way if you know what I mean). Since I’ve started the medication I have not had any of these episodes and it’s helped so much.

But I’m starting to get down there in weight and even though I’ve tried to eat more, I can’t really muster it. I mostly eat meat to get protein in. I know I can’t keep endlessly losing weight, but I’m nervous to come off my glp-1. I’m in therapy for the above mentioned issues, but I’m pretty convinced I’ll go back to my old ways once I stop taking my injection.

What are your experiences coming off the medication?

I went to two happy hours this week with friends. I drank at the first one and took public transit to and from. After drinking as many cocktails as we could fit in before the 6pm happy hour prices ended, my friend asked me if I was driving home. I laughed and said "after that many drinks?" She then laughed at me and said "well, good thing I can handle my liquor." She drove home. I have never been more at peace with taking public transit and being "unable to handle my liquor."

The second happy hour I went to, I had to drive because I was coming from an appt. So, I had a Guinness 0.0, enjoyed my time, and drove home. On the way home, a cop turned his lights on behind me and I almost pulled over before I realizing he was turning. In that moment all I could think was, at least I have zero chances of getting a dui right now. Thank god.

It's not about being unable to handle your liquor or never enjoying drinks with friends. It's about being smart and planning ahead just a little. I truly don't think people realize you can get a dui with ANY BAC %, much less a BAC over 0.08%, which also happens for most people after 3-4 drinks, especially if you're are drinking fast and the drinks are strong. It's so normalized to drive to a happy hour, drink, and drive home.

I got my dui four years ago now. Cheers to it never happening again.

I have an Oral B electric toothbrush that stands up vertically on a charger, I see a lot of people with them. Some people seem to cover the toothbrush head with the little cap it comes with and others don't. Which is the better hygiene practice?

On one hand, I think covering it is better because it prevents any splatter from the sink, dust, or the random house spider from ever getting on it. On the other hand, I could see how trapping moisture on the toothbrush head all day could lead to mold or other bacteria build up.

My boyfriend doesn't cover his in his home bathroom, but he does when we are traveling because multiple people will use a hotel bathroom or like if we are staying with family. When I travel, I don't charge mine on the counter unless it needs it. Otherwise, I just keep it covered in my travel case.

Also, we are still replacing toothbrush heads every 6-8 weeks right? That's what I do.

I’m talking like, if she double checks behind her, glances at you, crosses the street, gets on a phone call, etc. Does this offend you? Or do you assume she has to do this for all men?

I ask because I regularly take public transit and I walk home from the train after dark sometimes. I live in a fairly safe neighborhood, but it’s a city and guys do catcall and stare and just the usual stuff women experience. I’m walking home tonight after dark and wasn’t feeling it and I stopped to see if I could rent a Lime scooter. Well I tried to scan the code and it didn’t work. Meanwhile this man is walking his dog coming up on the sidewalk. I start walking, but I do glance back at the guy once. He then starts yelling saying “you don’t need to be scared of a black man sweetheart, you don’t need to run away. I’m just a man walking his dog.” He kept yelling about it making it super uncomfortable, eventually cussing. I’m not fucking turning around at night to talk to a man yelling at me so i just kept walking.

What should I have done? I am white, and he clearly felt this was about race. Reality is just that I’m 125lbs and I am scared of men in the dark at night when I walk home bc let’s face it, I don’t stand a chance if they get aggressive. I try to be invisible at night and just get home quickly. This guy was stocky, large, with a dog, by himself and yelling. It’s a privilege he can walk his dog at that hour by himself and not feel scared. So, do y’all get offended by this? Or did I overreact?

I am choosing to be child free, my sister wants to have like 4+ kids. She is my only sibling. She asked me the other day if I would be a godparent to her kids if something happened to her or her husband (mind you, she’s not even married yet so this is all future thinking).

Anyways, I definitely don’t want kids. Obviously, I will care about my future nieces and nephews very much and if something happened to their parents I’d want them in a good home. But is that necessarily my home if I don’t want them? Hopefully the chances are very slim that anything would happen…but still I’d feel weird taking my chances. My sister doesn’t really have any other family she’d ask though.

I’m trying to decide if it’s just my taste buds not liking sweet/sugary foods or if typical Chinese takeout and food is just sugary. I ordered General Tso’s chicken the other night and all I can taste is the sugar on it even though I ordered it spicy. Same thing when I’ve gotten Kung Pao chicken or beef and broccoli, I just taste the sugar.

I usually need a different size bikini top than bottom and Amazon tends to sell the two together. Target has some options, but I would like more. Where are we buying swimwear that sells tops and bottoms separately/lets you choose a size for each?

I am taking my partner to Elephante at 6:15pm in Santa Monica and want something romantic/fun to do after. I would love to find a rooftop bar, live music, or even better, somewhere to swim like a rooftop pool or bar (we did Night Swim at the Hotel Roosevelt once and it was awesome, but that's only on Fridays). But, it will be after 8pm on a Tuesday. Any recommendations? DTLA is also an option because we will be headed back to his place there anyways.

I hit a lot of my goals this time last year. I moved, I bought a car, I got a good job after being laid off, I started a new relationship, and I was in a good place with my health and fitness. This past year, I have just been living this new life I built and while it's been amazing and my past self would have killed for what I have, I still do not feel content. Instead, I feel anxious and like I have not accomplished anything.

I hate having a boss and being reliant on my 9-5 (and I have a nice boss too, so this isn't just a "find a better work culture issue). I am tired of reporting to someone, hitting someone else's metrics, not having my own schedule, constantly being worried about layoffs. My next big goal is to start a business to become self employed and quit my 9-5. But unlike other goals I have achieved, I feel like I don't know where or how to start. There is so much information out there, a lot of it is scams, and I don't know anyone in my personal life that has started a business. With my other goals like getting in shape, finding a job, moving, I could easily work backwards from the goal with baby steps. But with this I do not know where to start.

I thought once I hit my goals last year, I would be happy. I was happy for awhile, but now I am realizing that self improvement never stops and it's making me feel always on edge. Is there any way to feel more content and proud of myself? Or will I not feel that way until I achieve this next goal that is so big it feels impossible?

I’m only 27 and I already feel I have saggy breasts. I’m in good shape, 5’5” 127lbs, and I really like my body otherwise. But my breast shape is like a teardrop, I have no volume up top and my breast hang much lower than they should when I’m not wearing a bra. They aren’t huge either, I’m usually a 34C, sometimes 34D depending on the brand.

Obviously push-up bras help, but is there any way to change my breasts through workouts? Like if I do more chest exercises or lose more body fat? I just hate that I’ll never get the chance to have young, perky breasts. They’ve been like this pretty much since high school.

I’m 5’5” and have lost a little over 20lbs, 150lb -> 126lb. I know it isn’t a ton of weight, but on my frame it’s been pretty noticeable. Most of my tops are still fine, but I’m noticing that my jeans are getting pretty baggy in the waist and butt to the point I look frumpy and my ass looks flat. My jean shorts actually make me look bigger in photos because there’s extra fabric bunching around in the hips and lower tummy now.

I want to continue to body recomp and build muscle. So, it’s not like I’m done changing shape. But is it worth it to buy some new clothes now? Or is it too soon? I’m thinking max $50-$100 and only after I sell my old clothes on Depop.

Also, a little unrelated but I mentioned this to my friend and she said I shouldn’t get rid of my old clothes in case I put the weight back on. Fair point or rude? I laughed but I’m a little worried.

I (5’5”, 27F) have lost just over 20lbs, I went from 150lbs to just this week hit 127lbs. I’ve been eating in a moderate calorie deficit and really just trying to get enough protein in.

I feel like I’m approaching a good goal weight for me, but I want to start working more on my physique so I look fit instead of just skinny. I want to lose fat and gain muscle. I know this means more lifting and eating enough. Should I start eating at maintenance calories or keep eating in a small deficit and just trust the process of working out and eating 120g of protein everyday?

I’m mostly happy with how I look, my arms, upper torso/waist and legs look toned. But my lower belly pooch is still kind of there and I know I can’t just spot reduce fat.

I got one DWI back in 2022, learned my lesson, got my license back, etc. I never drive if I’ve had even one drop of alcohol now. But I always wonder - say I get pulled over for a routine traffic stop, cops run my license and see the past DUI, and ask me to submit to field sobriety tests. Is this smart to do assuming I am indeed sober? I still don’t think I would pass them because my balance sucks and I would be nervous. Should I just ask for a breathalyzer right away so I can blow 0.00? Or refuse anything and risk arrest? Whats the best thing to do?

I got a DWI in Minnesota in Dec 2022. I was 23, going through a divorce, in a bad spot in life, and using alcohol as a cope. I crashed my car into a snowbank (thankfully no one else was involved and there were no injuries), and blew a 0.19, which is a gross misdemeanor in MN. I spent two full days and nights in jail. After I got out, I worked with a lawyer and got it down to a normal misdemeanor, unsupervised probation for a year, and some fines with classes. I was licensed in Virginia at the time so the VA DMV revoked my license for a year and I had to retake all tests and pay fees to get it back. I thought I’d hit rock bottom.

Since then, I’ve finalized my divorce. My alcohol addiction got worse and I was hospitalized for withdrawals twice because I thought I was dying. I’ve was laid off twice (neither related to drinking or dui, just broad company RIFs). I got to the point I wasn’t eating or leaving the house unless it was to get liquor. THIS WAS ROCK BOTTOM.

But guess what I also did? I decided I needed my life to get better so that I didn’t want to escape it with alcohol. I got a new and better paying job (disclosed my dui during the interview). I quit drinking entirely for six months and then learned to moderate (arguably more difficult than just being sober, yet it works for me). I’ve improved my health, lost weight, gotten in the best shape of my life. My liver and labs are normal. I went to therapy, learned to cope in a healthy way. I made new friends. I entered a new and healthy relationship. I paid off debt. I OVERCAME ROCK BOTTOM.

So, if this just happened to you and you feel like your life is over, understand two things - 1) your life can and will get better if you work at it and 2) your life can and will get worse if you let this get the better of you. Pick option 1, avoid a worse rock bottom, learn, and move on.

Also not saying everyone with a dui is an alcoholic either. Most of us aren’t. But, don’t let it become that.