u/Agreeable-Seat442

I think it’s not okay that Reena takes risk with her patients when she is aware of her condition. As a responsible doctor, she must put her patient safety over proving herself and her ego. This is portraying doctors in the wrong light. Although the surgery went well, given her past, it’s completely fair to ensure she has backup and support from another doctor.

And it’s annoying that Reena keeps saying “I hope I’ve proved myself”, “Don’t doubt my talent” - so it has always been about her. I hope they change this attitude of hers in the coming episodes.

Is the stench a little too bad today below the Domlur flyover leading to 100ft road. It was unbearable while on the bus.!!

When will this ever change?

Husband & I are planning for our 1-year anniversary in November. Shortlisted places are - Kazhak, Azerbaijan, Uzbek or something in the surroundings.

We are based out of Bangalore, & our budget is around 2L + a bit of buffer. We also have Marriott & ALL Accor points, which we plan to cover our stays with. I also want to go to a place with snow, but it is not a non-negotiable.

Are there any other places that I can cover within the budget and is the budget ideal for any one of the above countries?

If yes, suggest what the must-do things are in the suggested country?

30F. Recently Married from India.

In today’s episode, my husband and MIL had a long fight where my husband refused to talk to my MIL for 2 weeks and neither did she contact back - the reason started with my MIL pushing husband to get a house.

Backstory - My husband is the only son and They already own a house in a their native, passed from his father who expired 5 years ago. Naturally, she is first in line to the property, before my husband. Now she has been pushing us to buy a property which we don’t find reasonable as we don’t know where both our careers (his, specifically) will move forward in few years. We don’t want to settle down in a specific city and our dream is to buy a land and build a dream home somewhere in the countryside by the hills. That being said, we cannot afford that kind of home in the Tier 1 city we live in. So, when he refused, it broke into a huge argument and they did not speak and I didn’t want to provoke further and gave my husband the peace he needed.

But that’s not the problem. My husband confided to me that she mentioned she has a wish that he registers the house in her name/buy a property in her name. While he suggested he will have their current house fully registered in her name but she said that’s her “husbands” property and has my husbands name on the name board so she cannot claim it as hers. Although, she did not push. She keeps saying it’s her wish and that’s when my husband said he cannot buy a house to satisfy her ego.

Another parallel story is my husband gives her 30K every month (I send 25k to my mother too) even though MIL gets rental income, interest from banks - up to 30K a month. She stays with us 20/30 days and all the groceries and her needs are taken care by us, yet he gives her 30K which she saves under her name and keeps buying gold (which she claims to be an investment and will be passed on to us after her). She keeps asking for 10-20K more every time and my husband flat out refused as she has more than 40-50L in her bank account already. (All funded from my husband)

We recently had to take a loan for 10L as my MIL insisted I get gold from my mother and since my mum couldn’t afford it at that point, my husband paid for it and passed it on as brought my mother - and he’s paying dues on it. These gold we brought are again kept in the locker as it’s not for daily wear and I get angry that she has pushed us into a debt trap when she lives so happily and keeps making us live on a tight budget.

Now she again went and purchased designer diamond necklace, chain, bracelet and earrings for more than 20L in the pretext of my name - which I am clearly not interested in.

I feel angry but I don’t show it because my husband would rage at my MIL more and she’d start her sob and suicide story and ruin my mental peace.

I am starting to hate her because she forced me to bring gold leading to my husband taking a loan (he said he didn’t want her to think low of my mum & thus he got it) and us living on a tight budget not able to take the trips we planned to, while she has a house , 50L+ in her name, buying gold and diamond and still claiming she needs more money, while she put us in a tough spot. Also, she takes one international pilgrimage with her friends every years for more than 1L funded by my husband. I don’t know what else to do or say. I sometimes feel she is trying to show off her gold to me saying I don’t have enough but I earn more than 1.5L per month which I give 1L to the household, so I don’t know how to feel about this.

Finally, she has this saviour mindset whenever my husband asks for the money (which she says is for his savings) which is rightfully his and I don’t like it one bit. How do I navigate this? My husband keeps passing it off as in the end, he and we are going to be sole beneficiaries of it but I don’t see the point where we suffer in our 30s for us to live better in our 60s.

My MIL is only 55 & we are not against her living her best life but not at the expense of our peace and happiness. She claims we still have time to live, explore and enjoy and she’s getting old and we must take care of her needs as she is a widow now. What kind of thought is this ?

Since my husband is good, I don’t want to keep complaining about his mother which he already is aware and strain ties with him but I also want us to enjoy our lives - so any subtle advices would be appreciated :)

30F - recently married. I keep coming back to this group and sharing what happens in my life makes me feel sane and that I am not alone here.

In today’s episode, my husband and MIL had a long fight where my husband refused to talk to my MIL for 2 weeks and neither did she contact back - the reason started with my MIL pushing husband to get a house.

Backstory - My husband is the only son and They already own a house in a their native, passed from his father who expired 5 years ago. Naturally, she is first in line to the property, before my husband. Now she has been pushing us to buy a property which we don’t find reasonable as we don’t know where both our careers (his, specifically) will move forward in few years. We don’t want to settle down in a specific city and our dream is to buy a land and build a dream home somewhere in the countryside by the hills. That being said, we cannot afford that kind of home in the Tier 1 city we live in. So, when he refused, it broke into a huge argument and they did not speak and I didn’t want to provoke further and gave my husband the peace he needed.

But that’s not the problem. My husband confided to me that she mentioned she has a wish that he registers the house in her name/buy a property in her name. While he suggested he will have their current house fully registered in her name but she said that’s her “husbands” property and has my husbands name on the name board so she cannot claim it as hers. Although, she did not push. She keeps saying it’s her wish and that’s when my husband said he cannot buy a house to satisfy her ego.

Another parallel story is my husband gives her 30K every month (I send 25k to my mother too) even though MIL gets rental income, interest from banks - up to 30K a month. She stays with us 20/30 days and all the groceries and her needs are taken care by us, yet he gives her 30K which she saves under her name and keeps buying gold (which she claims to be an investment and will be passed on to us after her). She keeps asking for 10-20K more every time and my husband flat out refused as she has more than 40-50L in her bank account already. (All funded from my husband)

We recently had to take a loan for 10L as my MIL insisted I get gold from my mother and since my mum couldn’t afford it at that point, my husband paid for it and passed it on as brought my mother - and he’s paying dues on it. These gold we brought are again kept in the locker as it’s not for daily wear and I get angry that she has pushed us into a debt trap when she lives so happily and keeps making us live on a tight budget.

Now she again went and purchased designer diamond necklace, chain, bracelet and earrings for more than 20L in the pretext of my name - which I am clearly not interested in.

I feel angry but I don’t show it because my husband would rage at my MIL more and she’d start her sob and suicide story and ruin my mental peace.

I am starting to hate her because she forced me to bring gold leading to my husband taking a loan (he said he didn’t want her to think low of my mum & thus he got it) and us living on a tight budget not able to take the trips we planned to, while she has a house , 50L+ in her name, buying gold and diamond and still claiming she needs more money, while she put us in a tough spot. Also, she takes one international pilgrimage with her friends every years for more than 1L funded by my husband. I don’t know what else to do or say. I sometimes feel she is trying to show off her gold to me saying I don’t have enough but I earn more than 1.5L per month which I give 1L to the household, so I don’t know how to feel about this.

Finally, she has this saviour mindset whenever my husband asks for the money (which she says is for his savings) which is rightfully his and I don’t like it one bit. How do I navigate this? My husband keeps passing it off as in the end, he and we are going to be sole beneficiaries of it but I don’t see the point where we suffer in our 30s for us to live better in our 60s.

My MIL is only 55 & we are not against her living her best life but not at the expense of our peace and happiness. She claims we still have time to live, explore and enjoy and she’s getting old and we must take care of her needs as she is a widow now. What kind of thought is this ?

Since my husband is good, I don’t want to keep complaining about his mother which he already is aware and strain ties with him but I also want us to enjoy our lives - so any subtle advices would be appreciated :)

I’m 30-F, Indian, married less than a year ago. My father passed away 5 years ago during Covid & my mother is 62-F. Retired government teacher. I have 2 siblings. I moved cities after marriage.

Ours was a love marriage. My husband is a great human being but not much can said about his mother , who is also a widow. My FIL died around the same time of my dad’s passing. That’s a different story.

The thing is about my mother now . She’s highly educated - 3 masters degree and 30+ years of teaching experience but till date, she is unable to run the household. She used to make 1.2L till she retired and still gets 50K pension. My father had a real estate business but mostly been duped by friends and relatives and amassed lots of loans. My mother’s income was primary for us growing up. My father helped equally or more in the household. My father was an amazing person except that he was used and cheated and left us lots of loans to close. We have no assets and negligible gold. I had a court wedding as the wedding and gold would take a toll on my family and push us into more debts. My husband was supportive but his mother was not very happy.

About my mother - She is unable to manage the household or is very careless, messy, gullible, nonchalant. I don’t even know how this family survived. She cannot cook a full meal without help - need someone to help with mixie which she says she doesn’t know to operate, doesn’t know to use chimney, grinder, anything. She doesn’t know to use a washing machine. She doesn’t keep her room or the house clean. She needs help for everything. I am surprised how she managed all the years. She doesn’t take care of her appearance. She won’t groom herself. People have asked if she is my grandmother. Her personal hygiene is also questionable. Although it’s very noticeable I didn’t pay much heed due to my work and maybe she’s lazy but clearly it’s not it.

Recently she came to my place and I’ve been keeping our home spic and clean and she has made it a mess even if I ask her not to help. She keeps calling me for everything- where is this, that when it’s right in front of her. She eats ice cream with her hand. Wear dirty nightie and wears no innerwear. I find it awkward and feel bad my in law may judge her because she’s the opposite of my mother. I’ve heard other relatives talk about my mom and she’s least bothered. She keeps saying she was forced into marriage by her parents and she wanted to become a monk.

My mother is a nice person otherwise. Doesn’t talk bad about others, doesn’t talk back or anything. Very respectful of people. I’ve tried talking to her in many ways and she doesn’t seem to understand or want to listen.

More details - I wanted to give her a good life after my father's death, but she never comes with us to trips, movies or any outing. She never does anything as a family, saying she does not like it. I request her to consider it for our sake—still, she refuses.

For the court marriage, we booked someone to do light makeup for all of us, and share refused to wear makeup or any jewels, and one of the cameramen asked if she was my grandmother. She constantly expects someone to hold her while she walks. While she does have some knee pain, it is manageable. She expects people to sympathize with her. She expects auto drivers to sometimes help get her footwear from the auto.

To add more, my husband is a non-vegetarian; and although I do not eat, I cook it in our home. When she came to my house, she expected separate utensils for her - and I agreed although it felt awkward, I accepted it. If she needs to eat, it needs to be cooked in her vessel. Once, in a hurry, I made curry in the common utensil and she refused to eat whatsoever and it was downright hurting. I spent an hour to cook. She is not considerate towards others feelings. In the same way, my husband once made dinner and served it on her plate but kept the dessert in a common bowl and she refused to eat however much he requested—although we assured her no non-veg was ever kept in it.

She is not bothered by anything - although it was terrible to her after my dad passed - she keeps telling that his time has come so he died, when in reality he passed due to medical negligence. I tried to file a complaint and she didn't support. During my fathers' death, all the relatives who cheated him had come, and I had to literally fight them away and she kept receiving them.

One week before he passed, he had transferred 2L as a loan to his younger brother and my so-called-uncle refused to return it and I had asked my mother to come to the police station to complain and she wouldn't and left me to handle it. There are more such scenarios.

I do not hate her, but she is someone who has no interest in living a normal life whatsoever. She keeps praying all day.

How do I handle this?? I have one more sister who is turning out to be like her and my brother doesn’t care at all. I don’t know how to navigate this. I don’t know how she will marry my sister or manage the house, and I’m far and I can’t help on a daily basis!!

My mother is messy, nonchalant, unbothered.

I’m 30-F, married less than a year ago. My father passed away 5 years ago during Covid & my mother is 62-F. Retired government teacher. I have 2 siblings. I moved cities after marriage.

Ours was a love marriage. My husband is a great human being but not much can said about his mother , who is also a widow. My FIL died around the same time of my dad’s passing. That’s a different story.

The thing is about my mother now . She’s highly educated - 3 masters degree and 30+ years of teaching experience but till date, she is unable to run the household. She used to make 1.2L till she retired and still gets 50K pension. My father had a real estate business but mostly been duped by friends and relatives and amassed lots of loans. My mother’s income was primary for us growing up. My father helped equally or more in the household. My father was an amazing person except that he was used and cheated and left us lots of loans to close. We have no assets and negligible gold. I had a court wedding as the wedding and gold would take a toll on my family and push us into more debts. My husband was supportive but his mother was not very happy.

About my mother - She is unable to manage the household or is very careless, messy, gullible, nonchalant. I don’t even know how this family survived. She cannot cook a full meal without help - need someone to help with mixie which she says she doesn’t know to operate, doesn’t know to use chimney, grinder, anything. She doesn’t know to use a washing machine. She doesn’t keep her room or the house clean. She needs help for everything. I am surprised how she managed all the years. She doesn’t take care of her appearance. She won’t groom herself. People have asked if she is my grandmother. Her personal hygiene is also questionable. Although it’s very noticeable I didn’t pay much heed due to my work and maybe she’s lazy but clearly it’s not it.

Recently she came to my place and I’ve been keeping our home spic and clean and she has made it a mess even if I ask her not to help. She keeps calling me for everything- where is this, that when it’s right in front of her. She eats ice cream with her hand. Wear dirty nightie and wears no innerwear. I find it awkward and feel bad my in law may judge her because she’s the opposite of my mother. I’ve heard other relatives talk about my mom and she’s least bothered. She keeps saying she was forced into marriage by her parents and she wanted to become a monk.

My mother is a nice person otherwise. Doesn’t talk bad about others, doesn’t talk back or anything. Very respectful of people. I’ve tried talking to her in many ways and she doesn’t seem to understand or want to listen.

How do I handle this?? I have one more sister who is turning out to be like her and my brother doesn’t care at all. I don’t know how to navigate this. I don’t know how she will marry my sister or manage the house and I’m far and I can’t help on a daily basis !!

My mother is messy, nonchalant, unbothered.

I’m 30-F, married less than a year ago. My father passed away 5 years ago during Covid & my mother is 62-F. Retired government teacher. I have 2 siblings. I moved cities after marriage.

Ours was a love marriage. My husband is a great human being but not much can said about his mother , who is also a widow. My FIL died around the same time of my dad’s passing. That’s a different story.

The thing is about my mother now . She’s highly educated - 3 masters degree and 30+ years of teaching experience but till date, she is unable to run the household. She used to make 1.2L till she retired and still gets 50K pension. My father had a real estate business but mostly been duped by friends and relatives and amassed lots of loans. My mother’s income was primary for us growing up. My father helped equally or more in the household. My father was an amazing person except that he was used and cheated and left us lots of loans to close. We have no assets and negligible gold. I had a court wedding as the wedding and gold would take a toll on my family and push us into more debts. My husband was supportive but his mother was not very happy.

About my mother - She is unable to manage the household or is very careless, messy, gullible, nonchalant. I don’t even know how this family survived. She cannot cook a full meal without help - need someone to help with mixie which she says she doesn’t know to operate, doesn’t know to use chimney, grinder, anything. She doesn’t know to use a washing machine. She doesn’t keep her room or the house clean. She needs help for everything. I am surprised how she managed all the years. She doesn’t take care of her appearance. She won’t groom herself. People have asked if she is my grandmother. Her personal hygiene is also questionable. Although it’s very noticeable I didn’t pay much heed due to my work and maybe she’s lazy but clearly it’s not it.

Recently she came to my place and I’ve been keeping our home spic and clean and she has made it a mess even if I ask her not to help. She keeps calling me for everything- where is this, that when it’s right in front of her. She eats ice cream with her hand. Wear dirty nightie and wears no innerwear. I find it awkward and feel bad my in law may judge her because she’s the opposite of my mother. I’ve heard other relatives talk about my mom and she’s least bothered. She keeps saying she was forced into marriage by her parents and she wanted to become a monk.

My mother is a nice person otherwise. Doesn’t talk bad about others, doesn’t talk back or anything. Very respectful of people. I’ve tried talking to her in many ways and she doesn’t seem to understand or want to listen.

How do I handle this?? I have one more sister who is turning out to be like her and my brother doesn’t care at all. I don’t know how to navigate this. I don’t know how she will marry my sister or manage the house and I’m far and I can’t help on a daily basis !!

I’m 30-F, married less than a year ago. My father passed away 5 years ago during Covid & my mother is 62-F. Retired government teacher. I have 2 siblings. I moved cities after marriage.

Ours was a love marriage. My husband is a great human being but not much can said about his mother , who is also a widow. My FIL died around the same time of my dad’s passing. That’s a different story.

The thing is about my mother now . She’s highly educated - 3 masters degree and 30+ years of teaching experience but till date, she is unable to run the household. She used to make 1.2L till she retired and still gets 50K pension. My father had a real estate business but mostly been duped by friends and relatives and amassed lots of loans. My mother’s income was primary for us growing up. My father helped equally or more in the household. My father was an amazing person except that he was used and cheated and left us lots of loans to close. We have no assets and negligible gold. I had a court wedding as the wedding and gold would take a toll on my family and push us into more debts. My husband was supportive but his mother was not very happy.

About my mother - She is unable to manage the household or is very careless, messy, gullible, nonchalant. I don’t even know how this family survived. She cannot cook a full meal without help - need someone to help with mixie which she says she doesn’t know to operate, doesn’t know to use chimney, grinder, anything. She doesn’t know to use a washing machine. She doesn’t keep her room or the house clean. She needs help for everything. I am surprised how she managed all the years. She doesn’t take care of her appearance. She won’t groom herself. People have asked if she is my grandmother. Her personal hygiene is also questionable. Although it’s very noticeable I didn’t pay much heed due to my work and maybe she’s lazy but clearly it’s not it.

Recently she came to my place and I’ve been keeping our home spic and clean and she has made it a mess even if I ask her not to help. She keeps calling me for everything- where is this, that when it’s right in front of her. She eats ice cream with her hand. Wear dirty nightie and wears no innerwear. I find it awkward and feel bad my in law may judge her because she’s the opposite of my mother. I’ve heard other relatives talk about my mom and she’s least bothered. She keeps saying she was forced into marriage by her parents and she wanted to become a monk.

My mother is a nice person otherwise. Doesn’t talk bad about others, doesn’t talk back or anything. Very respectful of people. I’ve tried talking to her in many ways and she doesn’t seem to understand or want to listen.

EDIT - more details about her : . I wanted to give her a good life after my father's death, but she never comes with us to trips, movies or any outing. She never does anything as a family, saying she does not like it. I request her to consider it for our sake—still, she refuses.

For the court marriage, we booked someone to do light makeup for all of us, and share refused to wear makeup or any jewels, and one of the cameramen asked if she was my grandmother. She constantly expects someone to hold her while she walks. While she does have some knee pain, it is manageable. She expects people to sympathize with her. She expects auto drivers to sometimes help get her footwear from the auto.

To add more, my husband is a non-vegetarian; and although I do not eat, I cook it in our home. When she came to my house, she expected separate utensils for her - and I agreed although it felt awkward, I accepted it. If she needs to eat, it needs to be cooked in her vessel. Once, in a hurry, I made curry in the common utensil and she refused to eat whatsoever and it was downright hurting. I spent an hour to cook. She is not considerate towards others feelings. In the same way, my husband once made dinner and served it on her plate but kept the dessert in a common bowl and she refused to eat however much he requested—although we assured her no non-veg was ever kept in it.

She is not bothered by anything - although it was terrible to her after my dad passed - she keeps telling that his time has come so he died, when in reality he passed due to medical negligence. I tried to file a complaint and she didn't support. During my fathers' death, all the relatives who cheated him had come, and I had to literally fight them away and she kept receiving them.

One week before he passed, he had transferred 2L as a loan to his younger brother and my so-called-uncle refused to return it and I had asked my mother to come to the police station to complain and she wouldn't and left me to handle it. There are more such scenarios.

I do not hate her, but she is someone who has no interest in living a normal life whatsoever. She keeps praying all day.

How do I handle this?? I have one more sister who is turning out to be like her and my brother doesn’t care at all. I don’t know how to navigate this. I don’t know how she will marry my sister or manage the house and I’m far and I can’t help on a daily basis !!

I’m 30-F. Recently married (6months). Posted sometime ago about my MIL pushing us to have a baby since she’s feeling alone (removed it as hub is active on Reddit)- as we deal with it, today morning something else happened that’s further making me lose my peace.

I am a non religious, non rituals person. I am an atheist and I don’t believe in any sort of worship. My husband shares similar believes but my MIL is a very religious and superstitious person. Although prior to marriage, I agreed I will participate in these rituals for the sake of it without believing in it but my MIL keeps pushing me to the edges most of the time & I bear through it. Infact my hubby asked me not to agree to it in the first place but I thought it’s not fair to her.

I wear a huge ass mangalsutra that falls near my chest & has pokey things (as it should be - I wonder mangalsutra was designed to make it uncomfortable for women) and I remove it while I sleep. Today, i forgot to wear it and went to the hall and my MIL saw me and then chaos started.

She went on to the extent saying - the previous arguments we had (for the baby thing) and all the fights between mom and son were because I kept removing the mangalsutra & removing it will harm her son financially, medically, etc, etc. Like WHAT THE FUCK. I cannot hear all this irrational nonsense and stay silent and neither do I want to blow it up as I know mangalsutra sentiment is very common & most in laws expect the same.

But as someone who never believes such superstitions and my husband having to wear no such ornament for my health or wellbeing, I wonder why everything in a marriage is pro-man & celebrating patriarchy?

My husband is a good person but he avoid conflicts and I am starting to get annoyed and irritated with him most of the times which is straining our relationship.

HELP!! I am worried I may put strain in our relationship because of MIL and her expectations.

Hello ladies, As a 30F who has been using shaving cream and razors for as long , I’m finally moving to trimmers but the pigmentation remains in the bikini area and inner thighs and is making me feel less confident.

What’s the best women’s trimmer in town & how to lighten the dark areas around the thigh and bikini line?

TIA.

Hello ladies, As a 30F who has been using shaving cream and razors for as long , I’m finally moving to trimmers but the pigmentation remains in the bikini area and inner thighs and is making me feel less confident.

What’s the best women’s trimmer in town & how to lighten the dark areas around the thigh and bikini line?

TIA.

Are there any lunch subscriptions options that can deliver to my office everyday in Domlur?

I am looking for healthy options