u/BalenciSlipperz

Hi everyone. As the title reads, this is what I’ve(31F) been dealing with. I had my colposcopy done today and had my biopsies sent off. Prior to my pap in July, I cannot remember when my last one was done.

I am in a long term relationship. He is not taking it well. He’s angry that I do not remember when my last pap was, he’s worried I could have passed this and cancer along to him. I feel ashamed. I feel guilty. I do not have any symptoms or GW to have even known. The amount of partners I’ve been with in past has been questioned and ridiculed just an hour after my procedure. I feel scared and alone.

I guess I’m just looking for some reassurance and positive vibes. It has been a shitty day.

I had colposcopy done recently, due to an abnormal pap and HPV45. It was painful, and I’m terrified while waiting for the biopsy results. Prior to the Pap smear I had a few weeks ago, I cannot remember when my last one was.

I can assume it was a normal Pap smear, if I never received the results that I came up recently. My partner made me feel so low about this. Once I told him everything that’s going on. He kept asking how I don’t know when my last pap was. He asked how often I went prior to our relationship. He said he’s a man and knows how often women should be going to get it done, and why I didn’t know.

Umm..I’m just scared and feel alone and cornered after having this procedure done. Idk who else to talk to or what else to do. I can’t stop crying and just feeling bad.

Did your week absolutely FUCKIN SUCK like mine did? Meet me at Chili’s on 9th at 8!😀

*Bring your own money.

Yall..

I am so fckn tired man. Mentally, emotionally, physically..and the lly’s. I’m just sitting in my car, in the garage. The car is off, don’t worry, but I’m just so tired.

That’s all.

I feel like I’m spiraling and I have no one to talk to. I tried venting to my partner and my dad. I feel like I’m being gaslit. I talk about my emotions and it gets flipped to “the devil has a hold on you”, “you need to ask God for peace”, or they speaking about themselves?

Idk wtf is going on but am I in the twilight zone? They’re talking to me as if I did not start the conversation off about not being heard on how certain things have hurt me? Idk if this is the right group. But I just had to get this out somewhere.

Anyone else stingy or becoming stingy?! I’m tired of mfs asking for money, or help. At this point, idgaf if it does come off as me being a bitch, or mean.

I work hard for my shit, so why tffff should I share it? Loan it out? Spend it on a mf? Like plzzzz gtfoh.

My fiancé helps his mother out a lot. Awesome, he loves his mother. I love this trait about him. Recently, it seems he has taken or been assigned the role of HER husband?

She is recently divorced. She got the house(very low mortgage), alimony, etc. No car notes. She also works a FT job.

Whenever a bill needs to be paid, she calls him. Something needs to be repaired at the house or on the vehicles, she calls him. Pretty much everything- him. Mind you, he has other siblings. I’m not sure if they’re telling her “no” or that they “don’t have it”. $1,000 here, $300 there. It adds up.

It stresses him out, but I can tell he doesn’t want to complain too much because that’s his mom. But at times, he doesn’t vent to me about it. In MY mind, I think she needs to get her shit together. My fiancé and I both work. At times, everything falls on me, because his mom needed something. She currently needs something repaired at the home. He called a team to come out and get a quote on the work. She told him she has nothing to go towards it. Nothingggggggg you guys, nothing.

Am I wrong or being a bitch for thinking she needs to get her shit together?! This has been going on, even before we got engaged. He saved her home from foreclosure, fixed vehicles, help with debt, etc. Which sounds fantastic but wtf?

So I became a pass holder last month and went to Universal for my birthday in the same month. That was my second time going, in life. I didn’t get a chance to explore Epic, but oooomg I decided to go back in July and Epic will be the first park I visit.

I will be going by myself, which I love. It gives me the leisure to TRULY enjoy everything without feeling rushed or judged for geekin out over all of the HP stuff lmao. I’m excited to get on all of the rides! When I went last time, I had my kid with me. She’s not a roller coaster person, and of course I couldn’t just leave her while I waited in the long lines.

I have no one else to share the excitement with lol. Had to get it out.