u/BenefitQuiet3097

Soo, I’m looking for books with:
- a MMC who: is morally depraved and genuinely scary (not a cartoonish villain, but a believable psychopath), has a sense of humor, is not rich
- a FMC who is at least ambiguous, acts with agency and isn't just a helpless victim
- no repetitive internal monologues or bizarre metaphors
- a good balance between plot and smut: the smut serve the story, and the story gives weight to the smut
- trauma that is actually processed, rather than just serving as a character trait
- a few unexpected plot twists
- a long list of trigger warnings, including instances of "dub-con" - without romanticizing it; she doesn't secretly enjoy it
- kinks like pegging, face sitting, somnophilia, hate fucking
- a romance that seems absolutely impossible for much of the book, but where he somehow redeems himself in the end

For reference:
I enjoyed "The Penpal Duet" by Gigi Stix (even though the sex scenes were a bit too frequent for my taste) and "Perfect" by Ariana Rivers, though the middle section wasn't dark enough for me. Maybe something like "Hunting Adeline" by H. D.
Carlton but with a different writing style, because I had my issues with it.

Thanks a lot!

ADHD comes with a lot, but rejection sensitivity is one of the hardest parts for me. It makes building new connections feel almost impossible.

Unless I feel completely secure with someone, I’m constantly monitoring myself: Did I come across weird? Was I too intense? Are they annoyed with me?

The sheer exhaustion of overanalyzing causes me to second-guess everything I do and say, which ironically makes me act more awkward or withdraw completely.

It’s a frustrating loop because isolation feels safer, but it stops me from building the friendships I actually want.

Of course, I know that it’s mostly just in my head. But whenever I actually do get rejected, it feels like the whole world is against me. It’s so tiring.

For the past two months, l've been in a reading slump, desperate to find thrillers that actually keep you guessing until the last page.

Lately, I keep running into books that start out with an interesting setup, only to land a weak ending (looking at you,
"None of This Is True by Lisa Jewell").

I am looking for stories where the perpetrator's identity - or the whole truth - remains hidden until the very end, and the revelation is shocking or far worse than expected.

Examples of books I really liked: "The Chestnut Man by Seren Sveistrup" or "Kill for me, kill for you by Steve Cavanagh".

What are your top recommendations?

Thanks in advance!

I need to vent because I feel like I'm losing my mind.

Before I start: I live in a small town.

I already live next to a hotel, which is annoying enough on its own (let’s just say, the things I hear through the walls are abysmal). But a year ago, a couple bought the vacant house directly next to mine - my terrace is literally separated from their patio by a single thin partition wall - and decided to turn it into a full-on restaurant/bar.

Now, every single day, there is music blasting until midnight, with guests drinking, partying, and shouting out on the patio. I literally cannot enjoy a single minute of peace on my own terrace anymore.

The few interactions I've had with the woman running the place have been quite something.

To name a few:
• Ever since they moved in, she hasn't greeted me a single time. Total cold shoulder.

• One several occasions, they started burning some stuff on their patio, sending a massive cloud of smoke blowing straight over to me. After the second time I walked over and asked if they could at least give me a heads-up next time.

• A few days later, someone starts frantically pounding on my front door like the SWAT team. I look out the window and see her outside. I open up, and she immediately starts yelling at me for supposedly using "her" trash bin instead of mine. I went outside to check, and - surprise surprise - it was actually MY bin.

• Shortly after that, they started burning stuff again.

Other neighbors have already complained to them about the noise, but they just ignore everyone and keep doing whatever they want. Even the police are doing nothing.

I'm thinking about moving because it's truly unbearable.

Am I just being bitter, or would you guys feel the same?

Edit: Since some people were asking in the comments: there are both commercial and residential buildings in my area. The building next to mine was a residential property that stood empty until they began renovating. There is another bar and some shops here too, but they are nowhere near as loud and don't have patio. They almost certainly have a permit; otherwise, they wouldn't have been allowed to open.

Edit: Thanks to everyone who made suggestions! I’ll take some action tomorrow (since it’s already evening now), and maybe something will come of it. If not, I’ll look for something new.