u/Big-Camp5806

I (F23) have been dating my girlfriend (F22) for 4 years.

We met right before starting college because we were classmates. She was supposed to live in the dorms for free, but after 2 days she hated it, slept over at my place, we hooked up, and she basically never left. Classic lesbian stereotype.

At first I hid from my parents that she was living with me because they were paying my rent. A few months later they met her thinking we were just friends and instantly adored her. My parents used to be VERY homophobic, but after 2 years I told them we were together and somehow they completely changed thanks of her. They treat her like their own daughter. She comes home with me every visit and sometimes I feel like they love her more than me lol.

She’s been a very supportive partner and helped me a lot emotionally and with my business. But she doesn’t have a job, comes from an abusive family, and depends a lot on me/my family. I helped her start an online business, lent her money for it, came up with most of the ideas, but she still hasn’t actually started making money from it because she keeps postponing things. My dad bought her a laptop and a phone, and when her Identity Card was expiring, my parents insisted she use our home address for it because she didn’t want to go back to her abusive hometown. Her business is also registered on our address now. Basically our lives became completely tied together.

The problem is that I don’t think I ever truly loved her romantically. I think I was scared of being alone in a new city and attached myself to her because we were both lesbians and classmates. I love her personality but over time I realized she’s not really my type physically. In the beginning we had a very active s!x life, now we sleep together maybe once a month and mostly because I feel guilty and like I HAVE to do it. I’d often find myself staring at other people, not fantasizing, just feeling a quiet frustration inside.

I also feel like I lost myself in this relationship. I moved away for college excited to experience freedom, independence, partying, self-discovery etc., but instead we became extremely codependent and I spent years working nonstop on my business. Financially I’m successful, but emotionally I feel empty and trapped. My parents love her and they’d never forgive me. They would never accept another girl, because SHE is the reason they stopped being homophobic. I am also glued to her because of her not having where to stay, her identity card issued being on my home address and her business too.

Another issue is that she’s extremely paranoid about people secretly disliking her or talking badly about her, and over time I distanced myself from multiple friends because she believed they had bad intentions. At this point I barely have friends outside the relationship anymore.

Here comes the part where I was toxic. I know you’ll judge me, and I don’t blame you. Last year, feeling lonely and needing a new friend, I started chatting with a masc lesbian on Bumble BFF. She had a girlfriend, so I saw her as a safe friend. She was adventurous, always traveling and doing extreme sports - basically the life I wanted. She wasn’t the issue... it was what she awakened in me. She was the version of myself I never got to be. We talked nonstop for months, and my girlfriend noticed. I felt happy texting the other girl - not se)(ually, just less lonely. My girlfriend got jealous, and I understood why, but I couldn’t stop. The girl broke up with her partner of 4 years and started dating around. I was interested in her stories because I was frustrated about my own relationship. She invited me to hang out, but my girlfriend asked me to cut contact, saying the other girl was flirting. She eventually removed me from her following list and she unfollowed me, because I stopped replying to her texts, since my gf was mad.

After that I had a breakdown and told my girlfriend I didn’t think I loved her anymore and wanted to break up. Twice. She completely broke down each time and begged me on her knees not to leave. I stayed.

It’s been 1 year and a half since I stopped talking to that girl, but I’m still frustrated my gf wouldn’t let me meet her. I think I developed an unhealthy obsession, hoping to run into her or reconnect. I keep forgetting about her for a few months, then I remember and I spiral again. I never even met her in person, so it was just lust stuck in my mind. Since then, my girlfriend lost trust in me.

My gf had therapy for a while but stopped due to cost. Her therapist once told her that they knew the girl I talked to. It used to be one of their old patients but she was problematic. The fact that the therapist told my gf the confidential info about that other girl made me distrust therapy even more. Although I know people will say I need it.

Sometimes I genuinely think d@ath would be easier than hurting everyone around me. I’m on medication, gained 10kg, isolated myself from people, and feel like my youth is slipping away but I know that breaking up with her would leave her homeless, my parents mad and everything would be a mess.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Especially relationships that started very young and slowly turned into emotional dependency instead of love. What would you do if you were in my place?

I (F23) have been dating my girlfriend (F22) for 4 years.

We met right before starting college because we were classmates. She was supposed to live in the dorms for free, but after 2 days she hated it, slept over at my place, we hooked up, and she basically never left. Classic lesbian stereotype.

At first I hid from my parents that she was living with me because they were paying my rent. A few months later they met her thinking we were just friends and instantly adored her. My parents used to be VERY homophobic, but after 2 years I told them we were together and somehow they completely changed thanks of her. They treat her like their own daughter. She comes home with me every visit and sometimes I feel like they love her more than me lol.

She’s been a very supportive partner and helped me a lot emotionally and with my business. But she doesn’t have a job, comes from an abusive family, and depends a lot on me/my family. I helped her start an online business, lent her money for it, came up with most of the ideas, but she still hasn’t actually started making money from it because she keeps postponing things. My dad bought her a laptop and a phone, and when her Identity Card was expiring, my parents insisted she use our home address for it because she didn’t want to go back to her abusive hometown. Her business is also registered on our address now. Basically our lives became completely tied together.

The problem is that I don’t think I ever truly loved her romantically. I think I was scared of being alone in a new city and attached myself to her because we were both lesbians and classmates. I love her personality but over time I realized she’s not really my type physically. In the beginning we had a very active s!x life, now we sleep together maybe once a month and mostly because I feel guilty and like I HAVE to do it. I’d often find myself staring at other people, not fantasizing, just feeling a quiet frustration inside.

I also feel like I lost myself in this relationship. I moved away for college excited to experience freedom, independence, partying, self-discovery etc., but instead we became extremely codependent and I spent years working nonstop on my business. Financially I’m successful, but emotionally I feel empty and trapped. My parents love her and they’d never forgive me. They would never accept another girl, because SHE is the reason they stopped being homophobic. I am also glued to her because of her not having where to stay, her identity card issued being on my home address and her business too.

Another issue is that she’s extremely paranoid about people secretly disliking her or talking badly about her, and over time I distanced myself from multiple friends because she believed they had bad intentions. At this point I barely have friends outside the relationship anymore.

Here comes the part where I was toxic. I know you’ll judge me, and I don’t blame you. Last year, feeling lonely and needing a new friend, I started chatting with a masc lesbian on Bumble BFF. She had a girlfriend, so I saw her as a safe friend. She was adventurous, always traveling and doing extreme sports - basically the life I wanted. She wasn’t the issue... it was what she awakened in me. She was the version of myself I never got to be. We talked nonstop for months, and my girlfriend noticed. I felt happy texting the other girl - not se)(ually, just less lonely. My girlfriend got jealous, and I understood why, but I couldn’t stop. The girl broke up with her partner of 4 years and started dating around. I was interested in her stories because I was frustrated about my own relationship. She invited me to hang out, but my girlfriend asked me to cut contact, saying the other girl was flirting. She eventually removed me from her following list and she unfollowed me, because I stopped replying to her texts, since my gf was mad.

After that I had a breakdown and told my girlfriend I didn’t think I loved her anymore and wanted to break up. Twice. She completely broke down each time and begged me on her knees not to leave. I stayed.

It’s been 1 year and a half since I stopped talking to that girl, but I’m still frustrated my gf wouldn’t let me meet her. I think I developed an unhealthy obsession, hoping to run into her or reconnect. I keep forgetting about her for a few months, then I remember and I spiral again. I never even met her in person, so it was just lust stuck in my mind. Since then, my girlfriend lost trust in me.

My gf had therapy for a while but stopped due to cost. Her therapist once told her that they knew the girl I talked to. It used to be one of their old patients but she was problematic. The fact that the therapist told my gf the confidential info about that other girl made me distrust therapy even more. Although I know people will say I need it.

Sometimes I genuinely think d@ath would be easier than hurting everyone around me. I’m on medication, gained 10kg, isolated myself from people, and feel like my youth is slipping away but I know that breaking up with her would leave her homeless, my parents mad and everything would be a mess.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Especially relationships that started very young and slowly turned into emotional dependency instead of love. What would you do if you were in my place?

I (F23) have been dating my girlfriend (F22) for 4 years.

We met right before starting college because we were classmates. She was supposed to live in the dorms for free, but after 2 days she hated it, slept over at my place, we hooked up, and she basically never left. Classic lesbian stereotype.

At first I hid from my parents that she was living with me because they were paying my rent. A few months later they met her thinking we were just friends and instantly adored her. My parents used to be VERY homophobic, but after 2 years I told them we were together and somehow they completely changed thanks of her. They treat her like their own daughter. She comes home with me every visit and sometimes I feel like they love her more than me lol.

She’s been a very supportive partner and helped me a lot emotionally and with my business. But she doesn’t have a job, comes from an abusive family, and depends a lot on me/my family. I helped her start an online business, lent her money for it, came up with most of the ideas, but she still hasn’t actually started making money from it because she keeps postponing things. My dad bought her a laptop and a phone, and when her Identity Card was expiring, my parents insisted she use our home address for it because she didn’t want to go back to her abusive hometown. Her business is also registered on our address now. Basically our lives became completely tied together.

The problem is that I don’t think I ever truly loved her romantically. I think I was scared of being alone in a new city and attached myself to her because we were both lesbians and classmates. I love her personality but over time I realized she’s not really my type physically. In the beginning we had a very active s!x life, now we sleep together maybe once a month and mostly because I feel guilty and like I HAVE to do it. I’d often find myself staring at other people, not fantasizing, just feeling a quiet frustration inside.

I also feel like I lost myself in this relationship. I moved away for college excited to experience freedom, independence, partying, self-discovery etc., but instead we became extremely codependent and I spent years working nonstop on my business. Financially I’m successful, but emotionally I feel empty and trapped. My parents love her and they’d never forgive me. They would never accept another girl, because SHE is the reason they stopped being homophobic. I am also glued to her because of her not having where to stay, her identity card issued being on my home address and her business too.

Another issue is that she’s extremely paranoid about people secretly disliking her or talking badly about her, and over time I distanced myself from multiple friends because she believed they had bad intentions. At this point I barely have friends outside the relationship anymore.

Here comes the part where I was toxic. I know you’ll judge me, and I don’t blame you. Last year, feeling lonely and needing a new friend, I started chatting with a masc lesbian on Bumble BFF. She had a girlfriend, so I saw her as a safe friend. She was adventurous, always traveling and doing extreme sports - basically the life I wanted. She wasn’t the issue... it was what she awakened in me. She was the version of myself I never got to be. We talked nonstop for months, and my girlfriend noticed. I felt happy texting the other girl - not se)(ually, just less lonely. My girlfriend got jealous, and I understood why, but I couldn’t stop. The girl broke up with her partner of 4 years and started dating around. I was interested in her stories because I was frustrated about my own relationship. She invited me to hang out, but my girlfriend asked me to cut contact, saying the other girl was flirting. She eventually removed me from her following list and she unfollowed me, because I stopped replying to her texts, since my gf was mad.

After that I had a breakdown and told my girlfriend I didn’t think I loved her anymore and wanted to break up. Twice. She completely broke down each time and begged me on her knees not to leave. I stayed.

It’s been 1 year and a half since I stopped talking to that girl, but I’m still frustrated my gf wouldn’t let me meet her. I think I developed an unhealthy obsession, hoping to run into her or reconnect. I keep forgetting about her for a few months, then I remember and I spiral again. I never even met her in person, so it was just lust stuck in my mind. Since then, my girlfriend lost trust in me.

My gf had therapy for a while but stopped due to cost. Her therapist once told her that they knew the girl I talked to. It used to be one of their old patients but she was problematic. The fact that the therapist told my gf the confidential info about that other girl made me distrust therapy even more. Although I know people will say I need it.

Sometimes I genuinely think d@ath would be easier than hurting everyone around me. I’m on medication, gained 10kg, isolated myself from people, and feel like my youth is slipping away but I know that breaking up with her would leave her homeless, my parents mad and everything would be a mess.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Especially relationships that started very young and slowly turned into emotional dependency instead of love. What would you do if you were in my place?

I (F23) have been dating my girlfriend (F22) for 4 years.

We met right before starting college because we were classmates. She was supposed to live in the dorms for free, but after 2 days she hated it, slept over at my place, we hooked up, and she basically never left. Classic lesbian stereotype.

At first I hid from my parents that she was living with me because they were paying my rent. A few months later they met her thinking we were just friends and instantly adored her. My parents used to be VERY homophobic, but after 2 years I told them we were together and somehow they completely changed thanks of her. They treat her like their own daughter. She comes home with me every visit and sometimes I feel like they love her more than me lol.

She’s been a very supportive partner and helped me a lot emotionally and with my business. But she doesn’t have a job, comes from an abusive family, and depends a lot on me/my family. I helped her start an online business, lent her money for it, came up with most of the ideas, but she still hasn’t actually started making money from it because she keeps postponing things. My dad bought her a laptop and a phone, and when her Identity Card was expiring, my parents insisted she use our home address for it because she didn’t want to go back to her abusive hometown. Her business is also registered on our address now. Basically our lives became completely tied together.

The problem is that I don’t think I ever truly loved her romantically. I think I was scared of being alone in a new city and attached myself to her because we were both lesbians and classmates. I love her personality but over time I realized she’s not really my type physically. In the beginning we had a very active s!x life, now we sleep together maybe once a month and mostly because I feel guilty and like I HAVE to do it. I’d often find myself staring at other people, not fantasizing, just feeling a quiet frustration inside.

I also feel like I lost myself in this relationship. I moved away for college excited to experience freedom, independence, partying, self-discovery etc., but instead we became extremely codependent and I spent years working nonstop on my business. Financially I’m successful, but emotionally I feel empty and trapped. My parents love her and they’d never forgive me. They would never accept another girl, because SHE is the reason they stopped being homophobic. I am also glued to her because of her not having where to stay, her identity card issued being on my home address and her business too.

Another issue is that she’s extremely paranoid about people secretly disliking her or talking badly about her, and over time I distanced myself from multiple friends because she believed they had bad intentions. At this point I barely have friends outside the relationship anymore.

Here comes the part where I was toxic. I know you’ll judge me, and I don’t blame you. Last year, feeling lonely and needing a new friend, I started chatting with a masc lesbian on Bumble BFF. She had a girlfriend, so I saw her as a safe friend. She was adventurous, always traveling and doing extreme sports - basically the life I wanted. She wasn’t the issue... it was what she awakened in me. She was the version of myself I never got to be. We talked nonstop for months, and my girlfriend noticed. I felt happy texting the other girl - not se)(ually, just less lonely. My girlfriend got jealous, and I understood why, but I couldn’t stop. The girl broke up with her partner of 4 years and started dating around. I was interested in her stories because I was frustrated about my own relationship. She invited me to hang out, but my girlfriend asked me to cut contact, saying the other girl was flirting. She eventually removed me from her following list and she unfollowed me, because I stopped replying to her texts, since my gf was mad.

After that I had a breakdown and told my girlfriend I didn’t think I loved her anymore and wanted to break up. Twice. She completely broke down each time and begged me on her knees not to leave. I stayed.

It’s been 1 year and a half since I stopped talking to that girl, but I’m still frustrated my gf wouldn’t let me meet her. I think I developed an unhealthy obsession, hoping to run into her or reconnect. I keep forgetting about her for a few months, then I remember and I spiral again. I never even met her in person, so it was just lust stuck in my mind. Since then, my girlfriend lost trust in me.

My gf had therapy for a while but stopped due to cost. Her therapist once told her that they knew the girl I talked to. It used to be one of their old patients but she was problematic. The fact that the therapist told my gf the confidential info about that other girl made me distrust therapy even more. Although I know people will say I need it.

Sometimes I genuinely think d@ath would be easier than hurting everyone around me. I’m on medication, gained 10kg, isolated myself from people, and feel like my youth is slipping away but I know that breaking up with her would leave her homeless, my parents mad and everything would be a mess.

I (F23) have been dating my girlfriend (F22) for 4 years.

We met right before starting college because we were classmates. She was supposed to live in the dorms for free, but after 2 days she hated it, slept over at my place, we hooked up, and she basically never left. Classic lesbian stereotype.

At first I hid from my parents that she was living with me because they were paying my rent. A few months later they met her thinking we were just friends and instantly adored her. My parents used to be VERY homophobic, but after 2 years I told them we were together and somehow they completely changed thanks of her. They treat her like their own daughter. She comes home with me every visit and sometimes I feel like they love her more than me lol.

She’s been a very supportive partner and helped me a lot emotionally and with my business. But she doesn’t have a job, comes from an abusive family, and depends a lot on me/my family. I helped her start an online business, lent her money for it, came up with most of the ideas, but she still hasn’t actually started making money from it because she keeps postponing things. My dad bought her a laptop and a phone, and when her Identity Card was expiring, my parents insisted she use our home address for it because she didn’t want to go back to her abusive hometown. Her business is also registered on our address now. Basically our lives became completely tied together.

The problem is that I don’t think I ever truly loved her romantically. I think I was scared of being alone in a new city and attached myself to her because we were both lesbians and classmates. I love her personality but over time I realized she’s not really my type physically. In the beginning we had a very active s!x life, now we sleep together maybe once a month and mostly because I feel guilty and like I HAVE to do it. I’d often find myself staring at other people, not fantasizing, just feeling a quiet frustration inside.

I also feel like I lost myself in this relationship. I moved away for college excited to experience freedom, independence, partying, self-discovery etc., but instead we became extremely codependent and I spent years working nonstop on my business. Financially I’m successful, but emotionally I feel empty and trapped. My parents love her and they’d never forgive me. They would never accept another girl, because SHE is the reason they stopped being homophobic. I am also glued to her because of her not having where to stay, her identity card issued being on my home address and her business too.

Another issue is that she’s extremely paranoid about people secretly disliking her or talking badly about her, and over time I distanced myself from multiple friends because she believed they had bad intentions. At this point I barely have friends outside the relationship anymore.

Here comes the part where I was toxic. I know you’ll judge me, and I don’t blame you. Last year, feeling lonely and needing a new friend, I started chatting with a masc lesbian on Bumble BFF. She had a girlfriend, so I saw her as a safe friend. She was adventurous, always traveling and doing extreme sports - basically the life I wanted. She wasn’t the issue... it was what she awakened in me. She was the version of myself I never got to be. We talked nonstop for months, and my girlfriend noticed. I felt happy texting the other girl - not se)(ually, just less lonely. My girlfriend got jealous, and I understood why, but I couldn’t stop. The girl broke up with her partner of 4 years and started dating around. I was interested in her stories because I was frustrated about my own relationship. She invited me to hang out, but my girlfriend asked me to cut contact, saying the other girl was flirting. She eventually removed me from her following list and she unfollowed me, because I stopped replying to her texts, since my gf was mad.

After that I had a breakdown and told my girlfriend I didn’t think I loved her anymore and wanted to break up. Twice. She completely broke down each time and begged me on her knees not to leave. I stayed.

It’s been 1 year and a half since I stopped talking to that girl, but I’m still frustrated my gf wouldn’t let me meet her. I think I developed an unhealthy obsession, hoping to run into her or reconnect. I keep forgetting about her for a few months, then I remember and I spiral again. I never even met her in person, so it was just lust stuck in my mind. Since then, my girlfriend lost trust in me.

My gf had therapy for a while but stopped due to cost. Her therapist once told her that they knew the girl I talked to. It used to be one of their old patients but she was problematic. The fact that the therapist told my gf the confidential info about that other girl made me distrust therapy even more. Although I know people will say I need it.

Sometimes I genuinely think d@ath would be easier than hurting everyone around me. I’m on medication, gained 10kg, isolated myself from people, and feel like my youth is slipping away but I know that breaking up with her would leave her homeless, my parents mad and everything would be a mess.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Especially relationships that started very young and slowly turned into emotional dependency instead of love. What would you do if you were in my place?

I (F23) have been dating my girlfriend (F22) for 4 years.

We met right before starting college because we were classmates. She was supposed to live in the dorms for free, but after 2 days she hated it, slept over at my place, we hooked up, and she basically never left. Classic lesbian stereotype.

At first I hid from my parents that she was living with me because they were paying my rent. A few months later they met her thinking we were just friends and instantly adored her. My parents used to be VERY homophobic, but after 2 years I told them we were together and somehow they completely changed thanks of her. They treat her like their own daughter. She comes home with me every visit and sometimes I feel like they love her more than me lol.

She’s been a very supportive partner and helped me a lot emotionally and with my business. But she doesn’t have a job, comes from an abusive family, and depends a lot on me/my family. I helped her start an online business, lent her money for it, came up with most of the ideas, but she still hasn’t actually started making money from it because she keeps postponing things. My dad bought her a laptop and a phone, and when her Identity Card was expiring, my parents insisted she use our home address for it because she didn’t want to go back to her abusive hometown. Her business is also registered on our address now. Basically our lives became completely tied together.

The problem is that I don’t think I ever truly loved her romantically. I think I was scared of being alone in a new city and attached myself to her because we were both lesbians and classmates. I love her personality but over time I realized she’s not really my type physically. In the beginning we had a very active s!x life, now we sleep together maybe once a month and mostly because I feel guilty and like I HAVE to do it. I’d often find myself staring at other people, not fantasizing, just feeling a quiet frustration inside.

I also feel like I lost myself in this relationship. I moved away for college excited to experience freedom, independence, partying, self-discovery etc., but instead we became extremely codependent and I spent years working nonstop on my business. Financially I’m successful, but emotionally I feel empty and trapped. My parents love her and they’d never forgive me. They would never accept another girl, because SHE is the reason they stopped being homophobic. I am also glued to her because of her not having where to stay, her identity card issued being on my home address and her business too.

Another issue is that she’s extremely paranoid about people secretly disliking her or talking badly about her, and over time I distanced myself from multiple friends because she believed they had bad intentions. At this point I barely have friends outside the relationship anymore.

Here comes the part where I was toxic. I know you’ll judge me, and I don’t blame you. Last year, feeling lonely and needing a new friend, I started chatting with a masc lesbian on Bumble BFF. She had a girlfriend, so I saw her as a safe friend. She was adventurous, always traveling and doing extreme sports - basically the life I wanted. She wasn’t the issue... it was what she awakened in me. She was the version of myself I never got to be. We talked nonstop for months, and my girlfriend noticed. I felt happy texting the other girl - not se)(ually, just less lonely. My girlfriend got jealous, and I understood why, but I couldn’t stop. The girl broke up with her partner of 4 years and started dating around. I was interested in her stories because I was frustrated about my own relationship. She invited me to hang out, but my girlfriend asked me to cut contact, saying the other girl was flirting. She eventually removed me from her following list and she unfollowed me, because I stopped replying to her texts, since my gf was mad.

After that I had a breakdown and told my girlfriend I didn’t think I loved her anymore and wanted to break up. Twice. She completely broke down each time and begged me on her knees not to leave. I stayed.

It’s been 1 year and a half since I stopped talking to that girl, but I’m still frustrated my gf wouldn’t let me meet her. I think I developed an unhealthy obsession, hoping to run into her or reconnect. I keep forgetting about her for a few months, then I remember and I spiral again. I never even met her in person, so it was just lust stuck in my mind. Since then, my girlfriend lost trust in me.

My gf had therapy for a while but stopped due to cost. Her therapist once told her that they knew the girl I talked to. It used to be one of their old patients but she was problematic. The fact that the therapist told my gf the confidential info about that other girl made me distrust therapy even more. Although I know people will say I need it.

Sometimes I genuinely think d@ath would be easier than hurting everyone around me. I’m on medication, gained 10kg, isolated myself from people, and feel like my youth is slipping away but I know that breaking up with her would leave her homeless, my parents mad and everything would be a mess.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Especially relationships that started very young and slowly turned into emotional dependency instead of love. What would you do if you were in my place?

I (F23) have been dating my girlfriend (F22) for 4 years.

We met right before starting college because we were classmates. She was supposed to live in the dorms for free, but after 2 days she hated it, slept over at my place, we hooked up, and she basically never left. Classic lesbian stereotype.

At first I hid from my parents that she was living with me because they were paying my rent. A few months later they met her thinking we were just friends and instantly adored her. My parents used to be VERY homophobic, but after 2 years I told them we were together and somehow they completely changed thanks of her. They treat her like their own daughter. She comes home with me every visit and sometimes I feel like they love her more than me lol.

She’s been a very supportive partner and helped me a lot emotionally and with my business. But she doesn’t have a job, comes from an abusive family, and depends a lot on me/my family. I helped her start an online business, lent her money for it, came up with most of the ideas, but she still hasn’t actually started making money from it because she keeps postponing things. My dad bought her a laptop and a phone, and when her Identity Card was expiring, my parents insisted she use our home address for it because she didn’t want to go back to her abusive hometown. Her business is also registered on our address now. Basically our lives became completely tied together.

The problem is that I don’t think I ever truly loved her romantically. I think I was scared of being alone in a new city and attached myself to her because we were both lesbians and classmates. I love her personality but over time I realized she’s not really my type physically. In the beginning we had a very active s!x life, now we sleep together maybe once a month and mostly because I feel guilty and like I HAVE to do it. I’d often find myself staring at other people, not fantasizing, just feeling a quiet frustration inside.

I also feel like I lost myself in this relationship. I moved away for college excited to experience freedom, independence, partying, self-discovery etc., but instead we became extremely codependent and I spent years working nonstop on my business. Financially I’m successful, but emotionally I feel empty and trapped. My parents love her and they’d never forgive me. They would never accept another girl, because SHE is the reason they stopped being homophobic. I am also glued to her because of her not having where to stay, her identity card issued being on my home address and her business too.

Another issue is that she’s extremely paranoid about people secretly disliking her or talking badly about her, and over time I distanced myself from multiple friends because she believed they had bad intentions. At this point I barely have friends outside the relationship anymore.

Here comes the part where I was toxic. I know you’ll judge me, and I don’t blame you. Last year, feeling lonely and needing a new friend, I started chatting with a masc lesbian on Bumble BFF. She had a girlfriend, so I saw her as a safe friend. She was adventurous, always traveling and doing extreme sports - basically the life I wanted. She wasn’t the issue... it was what she awakened in me. She was the version of myself I never got to be. We talked nonstop for months, and my girlfriend noticed. I felt happy texting the other girl - not se)(ually, just less lonely. My girlfriend got jealous, and I understood why, but I couldn’t stop. The girl broke up with her partner of 4 years and started dating around. I was interested in her stories because I was frustrated about my own relationship. She invited me to hang out, but my girlfriend asked me to cut contact, saying the other girl was flirting. She eventually removed me from her following list and she unfollowed me, because I stopped replying to her texts, since my gf was mad.

After that I had a breakdown and told my girlfriend I didn’t think I loved her anymore and wanted to break up. Twice. She completely broke down each time and begged me on her knees not to leave. I stayed.

It’s been 1 year and a half since I stopped talking to that girl, but I’m still frustrated my gf wouldn’t let me meet her. I think I developed an unhealthy obsession, hoping to run into her or reconnect. I keep forgetting about her for a few months, then I remember and I spiral again. I never even met her in person, so it was just lust stuck in my mind. Since then, my girlfriend lost trust in me.

My gf had therapy for a while but stopped due to cost. Her therapist once told her that they knew the girl I talked to. It used to be one of their old patients but she was problematic. The fact that the therapist told my gf the confidential info about that other girl made me distrust therapy even more. Although I know people will say I need it.

Sometimes I genuinely think d@ath would be easier than hurting everyone around me. I’m on medication, gained 10kg, isolated myself from people, and feel like my youth is slipping away but I know that breaking up with her would leave her homeless, my parents mad and everything would be a mess.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Especially relationships that started very young and slowly turned into emotional dependency instead of love. What would you do if you were in my place?

I (F23) have been dating my girlfriend (F22) for 4 years.

We met right before starting college because we were classmates. She was supposed to live in the dorms for free, but after 2 days she hated it, slept over at my place, we hooked up, and she basically never left. Classic lesbian stereotype.

At first I hid from my parents that she was living with me because they were paying my rent. A few months later they met her thinking we were just friends and instantly adored her. My parents used to be VERY homophobic, but after 2 years I told them we were together and somehow they completely changed thanks of her. They treat her like their own daughter. She comes home with me every visit and sometimes I feel like they love her more than me lol.

She’s been a very supportive partner and helped me a lot emotionally and with my business. But she doesn’t have a job, comes from an abusive family, and depends a lot on me/my family. I helped her start an online business, lent her money for it, came up with most of the ideas, but she still hasn’t actually started making money from it because she keeps postponing things. My dad bought her a laptop and a phone, and when her Identity Card was expiring, my parents insisted she use our home address for it because she didn’t want to go back to her abusive hometown. Her business is also registered on our address now. Basically our lives became completely tied together.

The problem is that I don’t think I ever truly loved her romantically. I think I was scared of being alone in a new city and attached myself to her because we were both lesbians and classmates. I love her personality but over time I realized she’s not really my type physically. In the beginning we had a very active s!x life, now we sleep together maybe once a month and mostly because I feel guilty and like I HAVE to do it. I’d often find myself staring at other people, not fantasizing, just feeling a quiet frustration inside.

I also feel like I lost myself in this relationship. I moved away for college excited to experience freedom, independence, partying, self-discovery etc., but instead we became extremely codependent and I spent years working nonstop on my business. Financially I’m successful, but emotionally I feel empty and trapped. My parents love her and they’d never forgive me. They would never accept another girl, because SHE is the reason they stopped being homophobic. I am also glued to her because of her not having where to stay, her identity card issued being on my home address and her business too.

Another issue is that she’s extremely paranoid about people secretly disliking her or talking badly about her, and over time I distanced myself from multiple friends because she believed they had bad intentions. At this point I barely have friends outside the relationship anymore.

Here comes the part where I was toxic. I know you’ll judge me, and I don’t blame you. Last year, feeling lonely and needing a new friend, I started chatting with a masc lesbian on Bumble BFF. She had a girlfriend, so I saw her as a safe friend. She was adventurous, always traveling and doing extreme sports - basically the life I wanted. She wasn’t the issue... it was what she awakened in me. She was the version of myself I never got to be. We talked nonstop for months, and my girlfriend noticed. I felt happy texting the other girl - not se)(ually, just less lonely. My girlfriend got jealous, and I understood why, but I couldn’t stop. The girl broke up with her partner of 4 years and started dating around. I was interested in her stories because I was frustrated about my own relationship. She invited me to hang out, but my girlfriend asked me to cut contact, saying the other girl was flirting. She eventually removed me from her following list and she unfollowed me, because I stopped replying to her texts, since my gf was mad.

After that I had a breakdown and told my girlfriend I didn’t think I loved her anymore and wanted to break up. Twice. She completely broke down each time and begged me on her knees not to leave. I stayed.

It’s been 1 year and a half since I stopped talking to that girl, but I’m still frustrated my gf wouldn’t let me meet her. I think I developed an unhealthy obsession, hoping to run into her or reconnect. I keep forgetting about her for a few months, then I remember and I spiral again. I never even met her in person, so it was just lust stuck in my mind. Since then, my girlfriend lost trust in me.

My gf had therapy for a while but stopped due to cost. Her therapist once told her that they knew the girl I talked to. It used to be one of their old patients but she was problematic. The fact that the therapist told my gf the confidential info about that other girl made me distrust therapy even more. Although I know people will say I need it.

Sometimes I genuinely think d@ath would be easier than hurting everyone around me. I’m on medication, gained 10kg, isolated myself from people, and feel like my youth is slipping away but I know that breaking up with her would leave her homeless, my parents mad and everything would be a mess.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Especially relationships that started very young and slowly turned into emotional dependency instead of love. What would you do if you were in my place?

TL;DR: Been with my GF since 18, our lives became completely intertwined, but I don’t think I’m in love anymore. She’s kind and my family adores her, but I feel trapped, emotionally checked out, and guilty for wanting freedom.