I will die on this hill! I prefer the raw emotive feeling of Everybody Makes it Through from CODA over the final mix of In The Light from Physical Graffiti.

Have I made any enemies today or do some of you feel the same?

EDIT: The responses so far are making me think this is one of the most awesome subreddits on Reddit. You people rock! 🤘

I have always had a soft spot for Fate of Nations by ROBERT PLANT. It is honestly such an underrated record and there is something for every mood.

What solo works do you folks like?

Common phenomenon. I understand that this is a coping mechanism, but I am interested in going deeper and perhaps hearing other people's experiences, thoughts, and observations.

The characterisation I am talking about is: avoiding short-term discomfort which then evolves into serious resentment, externalised blame, and a refusal to acknowledge one’s own agency in their circumstances.

I’m interested in why people repeatedly agree to things they dislike, despite having reasonable freedom to say "no," then later describe the consequences as something everyone else did to them.

I genuinely appreciate this community! So I am going to rant for a bit around why....

For some context: I’m a dad who genuinely loves being a parent, and that’s probably why I find the social pressure around having children so UTTERLY insane - it is BEYOND irresponsible. I’ve seen waaaaay too many people who seem to hate kids go on to have them anyway (AND SOMETIMES have more after hating their first). So if someone already knows they don’t want that life, why the hell are people trying to talk them into it? “You’ll change your mind”, “you’ll regret it”, “give your parents grandchildren”, “you need to experience real love”, meanwhile, half the people saying this seem permanently pissed about the children they already have. I thought through my decision to have kids, genuinely love being a dad, and I’ve even lost decades-long friendships after those friends became parents, were fucking miserable, and seemed to resent the fact that I had no regrets.

I actually think the childfree movement does future children a genuine service. A child deserves to be wanted, not produced because someone finally buckled under years of social pressure and reluctantly followed the Life Script™. There are already enough resentful parents treating their kids like a fucking burden while complaining about the completely predictable sacrifices of parenting. I actually want to see happily childfree adults who are living their best life than a hell of a lot more than these unwanted children being raised by parasitic parents who never actually wanted to be parents in the first place.

As a parent who is actually secure in his identity as a dad, doesn't see his kids as a burden and sees them as awesome individuals - I actually think the childfree movement rocks! It is all about removing this stupid fucking social pressure that doesnt take anyone's circumstances into context.

Why people!? Why!???

Here is what I observed, looking back at some of the prophecy seminars I attended while I was in the church, one thing stands out: they often seemed reluctant to identify themselves upfront (in my view, honestly) as Seventh-day Adventist events.

The advertising would focus on prophecy, Revelation, Daniel, the end times, archaeology, current events, BIG DRAMA, etc, but the SDA connection was often not obvious until later, after people had attended for a while and relationships had been built. At the time I attended these things, I always thought it was odd.

Now, it feels uncomfortable to me.

I am not saying every seminar operates this way, but I saw it often enough that it seemed more like a strategy than an oversight.

If the message is something you genuinely believe in, why not simply say:

“Presented by the Seventh-day Adventist Church.”

The church seems to view this as clever evangelism. Looking at it from the outside, it feels much more manipulative.

Did anyone else notice the same thing? Were prophecy seminars in your area openly advertised as Adventist-run, or was that connection kept quiet until later?

I’ve seen this with several couples: they seem consistently miserable with the day-to-day of parenting, resent the loss of their past lives, feel totally overwhelmed by the kids they already have, and yet still strongly want another baby. 🤔

I’m not talking about the people who occasionally vent or are going through a rough phase with the kids or developmental stuff. I mean, people who genuinely seem to hate parenting and yet they simultaneously announce that they are trying for or are expecting more kids. 🤷

What keeps the desire for another child so strong despite knowing they absolutely detest parenting (and sometimes I wonder if they even like their own kids)?

I am confused by this. What does the brain's trust think?

PS - No, religion isnt a factor in the situations I have seen, but I do acknowledge this is a factor in some places around the globe.

Long angry rant about parents incoming! 😒 I just wanted to share some thoughts about where estrangement TRULY starts.

I admit it, I am freaking angry right now. I’ve got some serious dad rage happening (don’t worry peeps, I promise it’s the healthy kind).

For context, I’m a dad myself. My family is amazing. Whenever I think about my daughters, I feel overwhelmed with joy, love and purpose. They are so special, they mean the world to me, and I feel like I have won the lottery.

But since starting my own family and watching peers over the years have kids of their own, I’ve noticed something that genuinely disgusts me: some parents seem to treat their own kids like an inconvenience.

And it starts YOUNG.

I’m not talking about normal parental fatigue and wanting to have a little break. We are all human, some of us just want to veg out - totally get it. I’m talking about that deeper attitude where a child’s crying, emotions, needs and dependence are treated like some massive fucking burden.

When I first became a parent, I had “friends” who would not stop complaining about parenthood and their children. Constantly. Eventually I found their attitude towards their own kids so insufferable that I had to walk away from these people. I just found their general attitude, entitled and self-centred.

And toddlers? They feel it! You treat them like a burden, and they absorb that message.

Today, I was out with my daughter and saw a mother with a toddler who looked barely 18 months old. The little girl was crying, maybe she fell over, maybe she was overwhelmed, who knows. She was a baby. She needed a cuddle from an adult who could just see she was having some strong feelings.

Her mother made zero attempt to comfort her and seemed more frustrated that her child was making noise. She basically kept telling this child, well, 18-month-old baby, to be quiet for 10 to 15 minutes. No wonder the little one was upset. No adult was responding to her cries for love and support. This woman then put the crying toddler into the middle of the playground, all alone, and walked away to sit at a table with her friends roughly 60 feet away, completely out of sight of her child. This little girl rolled into a ball and cried into the ground quietly while he mother sat around with her friends, laughing and talking like nothing was happening. It broke my heart. My daughter saw this and looked concerned as well.

A random young bloke, probably around 20, walked over to the toddler because she was crying alone. He looked awkward and worried, like he had no idea what to do but knew something wasn’t right.

Mum came back 5 or 10mins later and made sarcastic comments about how emotional and irritating her 18-month-old was.

Are you fucking serious, lady?!!!!

That sweet little girl barely looked EIGHTEEN MONTHS OLD.

What exactly were you expecting from her? A strongly worded email providing a well-reasoned essay for why she was emotionally distressed today?

And before anyone says it: yes, I know I only saw a small snapshot of that woman’s life. Maybe she was having a terrible day, who knows? She seemed to be having fun with her friends and also thought a good parenting strategy would be to abandon a young toddler in a park out of visual-line-of-sight. I have never and would never do something like that to an 18-month old, but anyway.....

Regardless of why this mother did what she did, the incident reminded me of a pattern I have seen repeatedly.

Some parents seem to resent every developmental stage their children go through.

The baby cries too much. The toddler is “annoying”. The child asks too many questions. The teenager is “disrespectful” because they develop their own independence. The parent seems to really resent every waking moment with their child.

Then that teenager becomes an adult.

And after years of feeling like they were nothing but a burden to a controlling, resentful parent, the kid finally decides:

I’ve had enough of this shit!

Suddenly Mum or Dad become the martyr:

- “I sacrificed everything for you.”

- “You’re so ungrateful.”

- “You abandoned me.”

- “You walked away for no reason.”

NO!

Sometimes your child didn’t suddenly walk away. Sometimes you pushed them away. You left them crying into the ground at the playground and they learnt that the only comfort they could get was from awkward strangers.

When they were kids, you spent most of your time like this:

- You resented their emotions.

- You resented their needs.

- You resented their independence.

- You resented YOUR responsibility

You treated basic parenting responsibilities like some enormous debt your kids were expected to repay forever.

Then you acted shocked when they decided to stop waiting for you while crying in the playground.

Children don’t owe their parents lifelong access because their parents fed them, housed them and kept them alive. That is the BARE FUCKING MINIMUM of parenting. Prisons do that for inmates.

WHAT ABOUT?

- “My parent actually likes me.”

- "My parent is proud of me just for being me"

- "My parent will cuddle me when the feelings are too much, because I dont know what to do with them"

That lesson starts before they can even walk.

“I have NO IDEA why my child abandoned me!”

Well, maybe you pushed them! Maybe you ABANDONED THEM at the playground and one day, they just got up and left.

Obviously every estranged family is different and it's complicated.

But fuck me, watching adults treat little kids like unwanted baggage makes me so angry. Why did my daughter have to witness that nonsense today? What sort of example are you leaving?

Those little kids deserve better. So much better.

Have any of you noticed this too? Have any of you thought about this starting in early childhood? Because every time I see it, I feel this awful combination of sadness, heartbreak and absolute fury. 😒

Sorry this is so long. I just had to get this off my chest.

I often see posts about how difficult raising multiples (or any children) can be, which is completely understandable - it can be ChA*oS*****!**, but I’d also love to hear some positive experiences too.

Parents of twins, triplets or more: Did anyone find parenting multiples easier, more enjoyable or more manageable than they expected? What surprised you most, and what ended up being better than all the warnings made it sound?

Pregnant parents and new parents could probably use some encouraging stories!

Hello Reddits!

I've been wondering about something lately.

If you stopped being the one to message first, make plans, or "check in."... how many of your friendships would actually continue?

I'm not talking about people going quiet for a few weeks because life gets busy. I mean over months. If you completely stopped initiating, would your friends eventually reach out, or would most of those friendships slowly disappear?

For those who've actually tried this (intentionally or not), what actually happened?

Did people eventually reach out, or did the silence just keep going? How did it feel?

Yep, I have been there and it sucks. Announcement goes out, some friends stick around, but others quietly find the back door and gradually stop reaching out.

If you can relate, I'd love to hear your stories. I feel like pregnancy, new kids, additional kids, and life changes in general sometimes results in (painfully) weeding out some of our flimsiest connections.

Mine? A mere 45mins after excitedly picking up a Mini 5 Pro on launch day, I unwrapped it, slid on a 32 filter and launched it for a quick "test flight." I was so excited. My daughter was with me to bear witness to this event.

Well.......... I PLUNGED THAT POOR SUCKER straight into a deep salt water lake, never to be seen again. Oh, and to rub more salt into the wound, I procrastinated paying for Care Refresh as I stupidly thought "it would be fine" until I got home (yep, I hadnt even shown my wife the drone before it vanished into my very own bermuda triangle). I ended up having to buy another brand new Mini 5 Pro..... on launch day..... 😭

I have had other crashes, but that one crushed my soul.

Anyone else have any awful or embarrassing stories to share? 😅

About myself briefly (just so you know the angle I am taking): I'm a dad, I run my own business, life is absolutely flat out. Like most people in my cohort, I have about 10 million things competing for my attention. But if anything, that's made me realise how \*important\* it is to intentionally make time for my mates.

I've become painfully aware of something as I get older: a lot of men are terrible at maintaining friendships, and I think it is actually causing us harm.

Why? I am not convinced it is because most of us blokes are bad people or don't care.

We just tell ourselves, "Life's busy," "I'm exhausted."

We mean to reply later.

We assume our mates just know we care.

We wait for someone to organise a catch-up.

Before you know it, weeks, months have gone by.... Half a year disappears..... and we didn't mean any of it...

The thing I have learnt, friendships don't just happen. They're relationships. They need intention and consistency.

Sending a message. Picking up the phone. Locking in a catch-up. Following through when you say you will.

There's a lot of discussion these days about "male loneliness," and I think part of the solution starts with us.

I actually think a simple and semi-regular "How've you been, mate?" might mean more than you realise.

I'd be interested to hear if other blokes have noticed the same thing, or if you've found ways to keep your friendships strong as life gets more hectic.

Afterall, friendships are freaking awesome and I know I personally wanna keep them around!

About myself briefly (just so you know the angle I am taking): I'm a dad, I run my own business, life is absolutely flat out. Like most people in my cohort, I have about 10 million things competing for my attention. But if anything, that's made me realise how *important* it is to intentionally make time for my mates.

I've become painfully aware of something as I get older: a lot of men are terrible at maintaining friendships, and I think it is actually causing us harm.

Why? I am not convinced it is because most of us blokes are bad people or don't care.

We just tell ourselves, "Life's busy," "I'm exhausted."

We mean to reply later.

We assume our mates just know we care.

We wait for someone to organise a catch-up.

Before you know it, weeks, months have gone by.... Half a year disappears..... and we didn't mean any of it...

The thing I have learnt, friendships don't just happen. They're relationships. They need intention and consistency.

Sending a message. Picking up the phone. Locking in a catch-up. Following through when you say you will.

There's a lot of discussion these days about "male loneliness," and I think part of the solution starts with us.

I actually think a simple and semi-regular "How've you been, mate?" might mean more than you realise.

I'd be interested to hear if other blokes have noticed the same thing, or if you've found ways to keep your friendships strong as life gets more hectic.

Afterall, friendships are freaking awesome and I know I personally wanna keep them around!

Ok.......... RANT INCOMING

In my view, when a person carries a set of beliefs that are:

*sacred;*

*cannot be questioned;*

*must be respected;*

*must be revered;*

*because 'god said so';*

they are prone to all sorts of controlling, entitled, and morally reprehensible actions. So for a person with that sort of bent, THEIR IDEOLOGICAL POSITION takes precedence over the relationships they have with others, including their own children.

My experience with high-control religious environments is that they see human relationships as transactional and hierarchical. Men have their place, women have their place, church leadership have their place, new-comers have their place, elders have their place, and children have their place. Children are often seen as the PROPERTY of the highly ideological parent and there is a sharp level of entitlement from these parents around the behaviour of their children - much of this stems from their strong ideological belief system.

The anti-dote for a parent who presents in this manner is: INTELLECTUAL HUMILITY (the capacity to see their ideological position as potentially flawed and subject to change) and a high level of CURIOSITY for the inner world of their child. If a parent does not possess these things, then they do not have the requisite tools to even consider that their children have their own individuality.

Of course, not all parents within the SDA church are like this - some of them are beautiful people who love their children; but I suppose what I see is a higher proportion of parenting that turns out this way - where entire childhoods are stolen in the name of some sacred ideological position. Children must be taught to honour god and "obey"

Sorry, I know this was a big rant, but I just had to get these thoughts off my chest and wanted to see what the broader Reddit community might have to say.

Ok.......... RANT INCOMING

In my view, when a person carries a set of beliefs that are:

sacred;

cannot be questioned;

must be respected;

must be revered;

because 'god said so';

they are prone to all sorts of controlling, entitled, and morally reprehensible actions. So for a person with that sort of bent, THEIR IDEOLOGICAL POSITION takes precedence over the relationships they have with others, including their own children.

My experience with high-control religious environments is that they see human relationships as transactional and hierarchical. Men have their place, women have their place, church leadership have their place, new-comers have their place, elders have their place, and children have their place. Children are often seen as the PROPERTY of the highly ideological parent and there is a sharp level of entitlement from these parents around the behaviour of their children - much of this stems from their strong ideological belief system.

The anti-dote for a parent who presents in this manner is: INTELLECTUAL HUMILITY (the capacity to see their ideological position as potentially flawed and subject to change) and a high level of CURIOSITY for the inner world of their child. If a parent does not possess these things, then they do not have the requisite tools to even consider that their children have their own individuality.

Of course, not all parents within the SDA church are like this - some of them are beautiful people who love their children; but I suppose what I see is a higher proportion of parenting that turns out this way - where entire childhoods are stolen in the name of some sacred ideological position. Children must be taught to honour god and "obey"

Sorry, I know this was a big rant, but I just had to get these thoughts off my chest and wanted to see what the broader Reddit community might have to say.

Honestly... did anyone else realise, after leaving, that there was this constant feeling of being watched that had just been sitting in the background? I wasn't even conscious of it while I was an adherent.

Being watched, monitored. Not just by a god figure, but by your church, your social groups, your family, your friends, and eventually... yourself.

It was like I'd unknowingly installed a program in my own brain that constantly self-monitored my thoughts and behaviour, and it came with a low background hum of anxiety.

That anxiety and hypervigilance stayed with me long after my beliefs had gone. I didn't even realise I was carrying it until I'd been out for a while. Deconstructing the beliefs was one thing; deconstructing the psychological scars took years.

.....anyone else feel this?

I am curious whether anyone can relate to this, dreams of doing this, or has actually done this.

Leaving employment

I left the world of employment because I realised the work itself was not the thing crushing me. The work was fine. It was the environment around the work that was destroying my soul.

The open-plan offices. The forced small talk. The business hierarchy. The performative busyness. The corporate language. The meetings about meetings. The false promises of promotions and pay rises used to squeeze more productivity out of people. The constant pressure to be visible, available, pleasant, aligned, responsive, and grateful for the privilege of slowly dissolving under fluorescent lighting.

At some point, I realised I was spending an enormous amount of energy just existing in the environment rather than doing better work. You are monitored constantly. You might as well wear a collar.

Working from home changed everything

Working from home during COVID made it obvious. My already strong productivity (which was typically 120-130% of my daily targets) actually got stronger. I was not disengaged. I was not lacking discipline. I simply worked better when I had autonomy.

When the collar was loosened, I could move dangerously fast. I could focus, think clearly, and structure my day around actual output instead of appearances. I could work without the background theatre of pretending that collaboration means sitting near people who are also trying not to be interrupted.

The autonomy problem

As an employee, so much of your life is quietly handed over. Your time, location, priorities, schedule, energy, tone, and even your personality are shaped by someone else’s organisation. You become a calendar slot, a Teams status, a deliverable, a “resource”, a policy and procedure follower.

You are technically free to leave, of course. But most people need income, housing, stability, and a future. That dependence creates a kind of soft coercion where you are free in theory, but boxed in practically.

So I left.

Becoming a one-person mercenary

I became a one-person mercenary, and my mental health improved drastically without the “feel-good Fridays” and pizza lunch Wednesdays.

Sure, self-employment started with its own stress, uncertainty, admin, and occasional panic-flavoured surprises. But I would still take that A MILLION TIMES over being absorbed back into the beige machinery where I slowly lose myself. The pressure feels more honest now. If I work hard, it is for my own business. If I take on too much, that is my own problem to solve. If I need silence to think, I can create my own.

Life after the beige machine

Leaving made me realise how much of my exhaustion was environmental.

It was the performance. The corporate nonsense. The interruptions. The forced visibility. The strange expectation that adulthood means being managed, monitored, overstimulated, and slowly sanded down into something more convenient for an organisation. You are enslaved into a corporate adult day-care centre where you generate money for other people, while taking a tiny agreed-upon cut.

I found that I do not need that.

My life is richer because I took the risk and left.

Anyone else feel this?

EDIT: Thanks for the amazing responses, people. It is oddly nice to know this feeling is shared by so many.

For those calling this “AI slop”, I actually enjoy writing. Believe it or not, some humans still use paragraphs. This post is a general overview of my experience, and I still work in an industry where I need to be careful not to get too specific about what I do for confidentiality reasons.

Unlike your day job, you aren't obligated to engage if you do not see value in what is written here.

Hi Reddit,

I have seen a lot of questions from people asking owners on their experience of Sealion 7 and EVs in general..

I've owned a BYD Sealion 7 Performance from new and have now done around 15,000 km, including a road trip from NSW to Kangaroo Island in South Australia and up through the remote wilderness of the Flinders Ranges. I figured I'd share some real-world ownership impressions for anyone considering one.

The good 😉

Ok, so overall, I genuinely love the car.

The biggest surprise has been how capable it is outside sealed roads. I've driven it completely stock through dirt roads, mud in the Flinders, shallow rocky creek crossings and some fairly rocky trails. It's not an off-roader, but it's considerably more capable than a typical sedan and handled everything I threw at it.

Performance is ridiculous for the money. BYD advertises around 4.5 seconds to 100 km/h, but mine has reliably achieved 3.7 seconds on multiple occasions (obviously not through the muddy terrains of the Flinders haha). It's hilariously quick and never gets old surprising people who assume it's just another family SUV.

The interior is also far more luxurious than I expected at this price point. It feels like a much more expensive vehicle.

Practicality has also impressed me. We comfortably packed enough luggage for a small family for a three-week holiday without any issues.

Range and charging

This is probably what most tend to be curious about.

Around town, I realistically see about ~550 km from the Performance model.

On the open road at highway speeds, expect something closer to ~350 km, which is simply the reality of driving any EV around 110 km/h.

Despite that, I honestly haven't found regional touring to be difficult at all (and I have been as remote as 100km north of Leigh Creek in SA). During my trip through regional NSW, South Australia, Kangaroo Island and the Flinders, there was generally enough fast charging available. If I stopped for lunch at a fast charger, I could usually get the battery close to full before I was ready to leave. I thought I would find this inconvenient, but the reality is, we would have stopped for lunch and dinners anyway and the convenient part is, I don't need to spend time at a Servo. Many accommodations and Air BnBs are also good places to charge while travelling.

One thing I also noticed is that during holiday periods, chargers just off the major highways were often much quieter than some of the petrol stations we drove past.

For day-to-day life I charge almost exclusively at home. I drive roughly 700 km per week, and home charging has been more than enough for my needs. I probably pay about $60-$70 PER MONTH for that sort of mileage and I am yet to change my energy plan to an EV plan.

The annoyances 😒

I have no real reliability concerns so far and build quality has been solid.

Most of my complaints are software-related.

Android Auto occasionally develops a delay in the audio, and disconnecting and reconnecting the phone fixes it (irritating).

The driver monitoring system is EASILY my biggest annoyance. Even looking at Google Maps on the built-in infotainment screen can trigger warnings. SINGING you favourite tune can result in a little coffee cup icon telling you to fuel your caffeine habits while simultaneously having a break (the ai thinks your are yawning because your mouth is open)

The child presence detection is another feature that I understand from a safety perspective, but it becomes irritating when it sounds the alarm because someone is just sitting in the car while parked.

The real frustration is that both systems have to be disabled every single time you start the car. I wish BYD would simply let owners save those preferences.

Would I buy it again?

Absolutely.

It isn't perfect, and BYD still has some software polishing to do, but the combination of performance, luxury, practicality and value is genuinely impressive.

After 15,000 km including some pretty remote touring through rural NSW, rural VIC, and rural SA, I'd have no hesitation using this vehicle!