I had bariatric surgery about a year ago and was diagnosed with pre-cirrhosis liver. I had sleep apnea so insurance covered it. It's been 10 months, I’m doing very well now and have recovered.

I’m currently applying for new jobs. My previous company didn’t do a medical checkup; they only had me sign a form as a formality.

I’m worried whether a pre-employment medical check in this job could affect my hiring, or whether my previous surgery/medical history could cause problems with a new employer health-insurance policy. ( I don't have a insurance now )

I took this career break, to recover and rest. Some people have advised me not to mention health as the reason for the gap because employers might judge it and told me to say a different reason.

Did your surgery/medical history ever affect getting hired or getting employer health insurance? How did you handle explaining the career gap?

Im 24F, i worked 2 years as electronics product engineer in a reputed Valve and Positioner company

Today marks exactly 1 year since my sleeve. I went from 240 lbs to 165 lbs.

I'm currently unemployed and can't afford post-op blood work. The last labs I had were at 1 months post-op. I've been taking my multivitamin, vitamin D, B12, and magnesium.

How important is getting blood work at the 6 months / 1-year mark if I'm feeling fine? Can it wait until I'm in a better financial position?

I did surgery on insurance and struggle to buy the vitamins, caz i lost the job a month after the surgery.

Today marks exactly 1 year since my sleeve. I went from 240 lbs to 165 lbs.

I'm currently unemployed and can't afford post-op blood work. The last labs I had were at 1 months post-op. I've been taking my multivitamin, vitamin D, B12, and magnesium.

How important is getting blood work at the 6 months / 1-year mark if I'm feeling fine? Can it wait until I'm in a better financial position?

I did surgery on insurance and struggle to buy the vitamins, caz i lost the job a month after the surgery.

Had bariatric surgery about a year ago. After surgery I did water fasting for 45 days while everything was healing (was taking vitamins with a nutritionist help) , and i feel like i maybe rewired my food habit.

I dont enjoy eating carbs anymore, could only eat potatoes and maybe pie top crust, I still have a bit of a sweet tooth, but what's really strange is that I now constantly crave meat, especially egg yolks, chicken, and red meat.

This is completely new for me. For the first 23 years of my life I would've chosen carbs over meat every time. Now I literally wake up thinking about what meat I'm going to eat that day. I feel like a cave man hunting for meat.

Is this something other people have experienced after keto, low-carb, or just eating more protein?

I keep hearing plant based is best and meat are filled with chemicals ( i know its fear mongering)

Is there a reason this happens? Is it just my body adapting, something genetic, or is there another explanation?

Also, is this kind of intense craving for meat actually a good sign, or should I be concerned? I take my vitamins regularly, so I don't think it's a deficiency.

Would love to hear if anyone has experienced something similar or knows what's going on.

Had bariatric surgery about a year ago. After surgery I did water fasting for 45 days while everything was healing (was taking vitamins with a nutritionist help) , and i feel like i maybe rewired my food habit.

I dont enjoy eating carbs anymore, could only eat potatos and maybe pie top crust, I still have a bit of a sweet tooth, but what's really strange is that I now constantly crave meat, especially egg yolks, chicken, and red meat.

This is completely new for me. For the first 23 years of my life I would've chosen carbs over meat every time. Now I literally wake up thinking about what meat I'm going to eat that day. I feel like a cave man hunting for meat.

Is this something other people have experienced after keto, low-carb, or just eating more protein?

I keep hearing plant based is best and meat are filled with chemicals ( i know its fear mongering)

Is there a reason this happens? Is it just my body adapting, something genetic, or is there another explanation?

Also, is this kind of intense craving for meat actually a good sign, or should I be concerned? I take my vitamins regularly, so I don't think it's a deficiency.

Would love to hear if anyone has experienced something similar or knows what's going on.

For the last 10 days, I was scrolling through insta, it first started as one video about a conspiracy theory but then the feed started pushing more and more about so much that I'm even afraid to type here, now I'm shaking, i started questioning every symbol, every celebrity, every medicine.

I am a theatre artist who also loves science ( doing a phd) now I am questioning whether should I even proceed or not with my dreams,

On one end, I'm like, i should be happy that I have a few potential info, and just be more cautious but sometimes I feel like i should go off the grid and just vanish

Disclaimer: don't feel sorry for him when u read this, he has discarded many girls ( 8 i know of )

Background

We dated for a short time, and in the beginning everything was amazing. We could talk for hours and have really deep conversations.

Then I noticed a pattern.

Every deep conversation ended the same way

Every time I brought up anything emotional or about us, he would suddenly shut down.

He would go from warm and open to cold and distant in seconds.

At first I blamed myself.

My anxiety went through the roof. My ADHD wanted the loop closed. I cried so much because I had never experienced someone disconnect like that.

Reddit explained my whole relationship

Before meeting him, I had never even heard the word avoidant. He was the first person who showed me what avoidant behavior actually looked like.

I started reading posts on Reddit, and every single one sounded like him.

Then everything he had told me suddenly made sense.

"I have not had a real relationship in years."

"People always leave after they get to know me."

"I like to play it safe."

That was the moment I realized...

Maybe this was never about me.

The hot and cold drove me insane

One day...

10 photos of his day.

Matching my energy.

Excited to talk.

The next day...

One word replies.

No reactions.

Completely cold.

Then back to normal again.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Repeat.

I stopped sugarcoating things😂

By then I already knew I did not want to date him anymore and he even said he is not looking for serious

So I stopped walking on eggshells and started saying what I honestly thought.

Me: "You are not the victim you think u are"

Me: "No women can change you, caz, You can wake someone who is sleeping, but you cannot wake someone pretending to sleep."

Me: "yeah, don't blame your ex, god saved those girls from you😂."

He usually laughed it off or laughed with me.

Later I started sending him reels about avoidant attachment.

Him: "What is this?"

Me: "I really think you are avoidant. Go to therapy for God sake"

Him: "Woww this reel is soo meee, maybe i am avoidant."

Looking back, I think those conversations challenged him more than he let on.

The funniest part 😂

I made him a Sabrina Carpenter Manchild edit and sent him.

He watched it.

Him: "wow, it's nice ♥️ Where do you even find these lyrics?"

Him: "...Wait. Is this about me?"

Me: "If the shoe fits, wear it, Cinderella."

😂

The discard

As I became more direct and stopped supporting his bullshit, he slowly became more distant.

Then one day, not for the rage baiting and roasting i did but for some other very silly thing...

"I am not feeling very good. Bye for some time."

And... discard.

The funny part was I had already expected this about a week earlier because by then I knew the pattern.

The ending

Five days later, I checked in.

Me: "Hey, how are you?"

Him: "Heyyyyy! I am good, how are you."

Like absolutely nothing had happened.

I told him I just wanted to check because of the way he had left.

He brushed it off.

Me: "Take care of your mental health ❤️"

He reacted with a smile and sent something.

I left his next message on seen, put him on Restrict, and that was the end.

Honestly, dating him introduced me to a concept I did not even know existed. Once I understood avoidant attachment, his behavior became surprisingly predictable. It did not make it hurt less, but it did help me stop blaming myself.

We have been talking for 4 weeks now, one day he is all in and sends 5 selfie and 4+ message, next day nothing but last 2 weeks he was very consistent..

​

For 2-3 days i noticed that he was pulling away, response felt flatter and shorter..

​

Today i initiated and we had a convo, it was going good and fun. I asked him why his tone felt flatter before, and he said my words have been hurting him, so i sent a long voice notes explaining what I meant and asked him to tell me whatever he feels and apologized if I hurt him.

​

He sent, "I'm going through something. Bye for sometime."

​

He knows i overthink, now I'm miserable here thinking did i push him? did i hurt him? How much time is sometime? He sent it cold not how he usually talks, i want to unfollow hin and just forget him but I really liked him and got the feeling that now i don't know what to do, I keep blaming myself maybe i did hurt him.. or he is not interested anymore and using this as a way to cut me off

​

I'm 24F, he's 28M. We've been texting for about 4 weeks.

I started talking to him because I was interested in dating. He initially seemed to approach it as friendship, but over the weeks he's been opening up a lot.

Week 1:
We vibed really well. We talk in memes, and always in full sync, we text like 2-3 hrs a day in voice, ( my hands hurt texting so i nudged him to voice notes) I subtly hinted that I liked him. He responded to everything else in the message, but not that part.

Week 2:
He started sharing more about his past, family, and personal life. He said he felt safe talking to me. I was still initiating most conversations (about 8 out of 10), but whenever I started one, he'd send 4+ messages for every message I sent.

After week 2 - we started calls, every call is 2-3 hrs long and time vanishes when we talk.

Week 3:
He started initiating more. His way of doing it is usually sending a reel when a conversation ends to start a new topic, which I find pretty cute. He also told me he wanted to put in more effort because I stayed after hearing about his past.

Week 4:
Now this feels like a different guy, He started sharing old saved posts, including some romantic reels he'd saved 1–2 years ago. He also began sending pictures from his daily life more often, including selfies and photos of himself. Before that it was marvel and memes, i never once imagined he is capable of having romantic thoughts 😂 (reels about cooking for wife and doing her braids🤍)

At this point we have almost 3+ hrs of phone call every day.

The thing is, halfway through Week 4 he got moved to a much more demanding project and switched from WFH to office work. I know this part is true. He works long hours now, has about 2 hours of commuting every day, and has weekends off.

Part of me thinks, "He's probably exhausted and needs rest."

The other part of me sees all the Instagram advice saying, "If he wanted to, he would." He is online 24/7 scrolling reels and stories. If I post a story, he'll usually view it within seconds during a work day.

While this confuses me, At the same time, I'm not forcing a convo, I'm pretty chill about it. If it's meant to be, it will survive a busy period.

What do you think? Is this just a guy adjusting to a hectic schedule, or am I being too generous with my interpretation?

I (24F) started talking to a guy (28M) from my extended social circle, We’ve only been talking for 7 days, but I haven’t clicked with someone this naturally in years. Conversations flow for hours, our tastes and personalities seem very compatible, and he comes across as kind, family-oriented, private, and genuine.

What concerns me more is his mindset. He’s told me multiple times that he’s lost hope in love, isn’t interested in finding a soulmate, and feels like he’s not the person he used to be 5 years ago. He’s hinted at past experiences and losses ( he lost a parent) that changed him deeply. His messages often sound like someone who feels emotionally shut down or defeated by life.

At the same time, he says I’m the only new person he’s talked to this much in many years. He seems afraid of getting close and prefers WFH ( he earns very well in a very nice city but he runs to his small town) and runs back to his 4 friends from childhood.

Today he told me he’s trying his best but keeps realizing he’s not who he used to be. I gave him my number because he seemed too nervous to ask.

My question: Should I just keep this light and see where it goes, or am I walking into something much heavier than I realize?

I do like him, he is attractive in my eyes, decent, is there any hope?

My friends say he could be very loyal and once he likes you, u could be his one and only...

He definitely has avoidant attachment, but seems like he is trying, sends me 4-5 para, apologies... I don't know what to do...

I (24F) started talking to a guy (28M) from my extended social circle through a dating app. We’ve only been talking for 7 days, but I haven’t clicked with someone this naturally in years. Conversations flow for hours, our tastes and personalities seem very compatible, and he comes across as kind, family-oriented, private, and genuine.

What concerns me more is his mindset. He’s told me multiple times that he’s lost hope in love, isn’t interested in finding a soulmate, and feels like he’s not the person he used to be 5 years ago. He’s hinted at past experiences and losses that changed him deeply. His messages often sound like someone who feels emotionally shut down or defeated by life.

At the same time, he says I’m the only new person he’s talked to this much all year. He seems afraid of getting close.

Today he told me he’s trying his best but keeps realizing he’s not who he used to be. I gave him my number because he seemed too nervous to ask.

My question: Should I just keep this light and see where it goes, or am I walking into something much heavier than I realize?

I do like him, he is attractive in my eyes, decent, is there any hope?

Im 9 months PO gastric sleeve and 10 lbs away from my ideal weight. I had very great appetite, but last one month i have been focusing on work a lot and i didnt eat well for 1 week, now after that i seldom feel hunger, i force myself to eat 3-4 eggs and milk caz i like milk, everyday i wake up with a fever that goes away after having milk, im wondering if this could be keto or anything else. I had liver fibrosis during surgery, havnt taken a update check up yet.

Also the first 7 months Po, i ate chicken, eggs, red meat and almost no bread or carbs, that now i get mild pain after eating half a bread but none with the meat and eggs even if i eat a lot i feel fine.

I wish I knew before, for the last 3 days I have experienced both heaven and hell, i have been crying sprialing and self hating, it got soo intense that I googled it, then 3 hrs in I got to know he is an avoidant.

Even though it was an taking stage, I have never met anyone to whom I felt so safe but it felt like a warm hug and left in cold while dreaming and thinking will I ever get a warm hug again. It was pure torture.

I don't know what to do so I'm venting here, this was my first relationship thing after 6 years with a toxic guy who made my life miserable, finally i thought i found someone... But offcourse not..

I'm soo tired and exhausted from making the first move and waiting and trying to understand why he cut of mid Convo like that.

It hits even more bcaz more hope got scattered.