u/Cursed_Changeling

To give some more context: I studied medicine for several years, but I failed miserably. After that, I switched to engineering and did a little better, but I only managed to complete about a year before having to stop. Right now, I have family problems that I can't really solve. I'm single and don't have children, but I help take care of my mother. She still works, but her health isn't very good, so I support her as much as I can. Between my parents and me, we keep the household going.

At the moment, I can't afford to go back to university (I'm not from the United States). I could probably enroll in a much cheaper program and maybe even earn a scholarship based on my grades, but I'd most likely have to settle for a bachelor's degree because engineering programs are simply too expensive where I live.

The hardest part is seeing my old friends. I've slowly drifted away from most of them. Even the ones I used to think had no future because they were lazy or irresponsible, people who didn't study as hard as I did, ended up making it. Their families helped them finish college, others found different paths, but now they have careers, families, children, or have already graduated. Meanwhile, I feel like I got left far behind. It feels like I wasted years of my life. I spent so long being a student that I barely gained any work experience, only to end up failing anyway. Now the best job I can realistically get is minimum wage.

I don't even know what I should study anymore, or what I should do to make the time I have left count. I work alongside a lot of people between 18 and 23 years old who have their whole lives ahead of them. They enjoy working here, many of them are supported by their parents, and some are already studying while working, even raising children. Compared to them, I just feel completely useless.

I honestly don't have much guidance anymore. I never had a father who really taught me how to become a man, my dad has always been emotionally absent. For most of my life, I just tried to do what was expected of me, but in the end I feel like I disappointed both my family and myself. I've barely had any relationships, and now I don't even have friends to talk to. Every day feels incredibly difficult, and to be honest, I don't know if I can keep going.