u/ElChungus01

As title states. My eldest is a handful of months from turning 18, but has made some dumb decisions within the last month despite all my attempts at explaining, educating him, my own life experiences etc. These aren’t things like cutting class, breaking curfew, or even lies. They’re closing in on legal definitions and repercussions.

Everything before this I’ve explained to him but he always, ALWAYS took it as we were being strict, unfair, etc. These things came up in family therapy as well; the therapist herself even told him that our viewpoint was not meant to intrude on him trying to grow up, but on him realistically putting us in legal issues. He does not have any specific mental health issues, but she did mention he manipulates things he hears into a way that supports what he thinks, or essentially very narcissistic. He’s shut out so many people who’ve called him out on what he’s doing and not doing.

One example is he wants to have an interdistrict to another school. However the principal at his current school said it wouldn’t be approved because his grades and attendance are horrid. somehow he twisted this to blame me and say it wasn’t happening because I missed the deadline; the principal again stated it wasn’t a deadline concern but a concern of his current performance in grades and attendance. He got quiet but muttered under his breath.

EDIT:

I don’t want to “give up” so to speak. But I have two other teenage kids who also need guide, support and attention. I can’t keep putting every effort into my eldest and not do the same for my other two. Trying to give them equal attention, support, guide and discipline is a balancing act and I feel like going one way means I fail the other

EDIT 2:

Re: my wife/his mom

He’s shut her out right now. He’s not disrespectful towards her but he has made it known he’s not happy with her. During a family therapy session, he said all she does is “nag” and then was excused to join another group. The therapist said the reason why he’s so angry towards mom is because she’s the first one who’s called him out on what he’s doing and not doing and he isn’t ready or able to understand the reasons. “In his mind he’s not at fault and realistically…we can’t *make* him see that yet. He needs to mature to realize it on his own”