u/Gold-Ninja5091

My dad passed away two years ago and I find myself constantly having the same conversation with my mom about him. She brings up that he hit on my aunt (her sister) twenty years ago. Apparently nothing happened but they were married then and every time I remember him my mom brings this up.

So here’s the thing she never left him or separated from him. She lived with him even after knowing this and after he hit me as a child. She never attempted to leave him. So now that he’s dead she brings this up and how horrible he was etc. like wtf lady??? You didn’t give a shit before so who’s gonna cry now?

This disgusting information was also shared with me when I was a teen. Then I had to process it and understand what the fuck I was being told.

I’m actually mad about it now. I shouldn’t have been told this information.

I recently faced some racism while traveling (very clear preference for the white customers, ignoring me and the other brown lady) and posted about it on the country sub and the replies were so horrifically racist and straight up saying it didn’t happen at all. Then I argued with someone on that sub and got banned for a day. While their comment was kept.

I’m so annoyed by this whole thing I’ve made a note never to fly by that horrid airline again if it’s the last thing I do.

So I watched this documentary that some dogs detect diseases and they come near people and now I’m a little stressed. I was walking by the beach and there were a bunch of dogs being walked nearby and one of them was extremely friendly and approached me and started playfully running around me. He even shook water off his fur and then ran to his owner. Idk but I couldn’t help but wonder why the dog was running around me like that. I don’t know that dog and I didn’t pet him either but he kept running playfully up and down the beach occasionally approaching me. He wasn’t on a leash and the owner just walked behind him casually. I’m not a dog person but I guess this one was cute. I think it was a golden retriever but he was smaller and had a lot of energy.

Now my mind is overthinking why he came near me because something was wrong.

So I returned for a break from NZ and immediately felt sick on day 2. I have some stomach ache and a sore throat. Like why?

I moved at 28 and now at 30 I’m returning home with some years left on my visa. I may come back but honestly I really miss home. I miss the people, the food, all the stuff I’ve not been there for, literally walking down my street. I know it’s just nostalgia and I’m managing my expectations. But I do feel like a failure going back.

All I wanted when I was young was the money to travel and live abroad. I did that and ended up being so stupidly homesick I mean really missed home. It’s like my brain kept finding things that were wrong with the place around 3-4 months in. I keep thinking about people back home that never left that will 100% judge me for coming back. One person already told me that they can’t believe I’m returning. I don’t want to explain everything a bunch of times.

I feel defensive thinking about my experience. Only I know how hard everything was for me and how difficult moving apartments was without a car or any friends and negotiating with employers and landlords. Everything has been frankly a nightmare but also weirdly fun in some ways.

Anyway in a few days I’ll be traveling 17.5 hours to return back to where I started from……………….

So long story short I left my career and pursued something else last year and it hasn’t worked out for me. I’ve been very unhappy and my former job got miserable which made me jump the gun and do this. I have savings but I’m actively job hunting in my old industry and trying my best to move past this experience but I struggle when interviewing to explain why I want to leave and go back. I either don’t get an interview or I get blocked from the next stage.

How do I get past this?

I’m 29F currently in NZ. Prior was in Dubai for a decade. Saved around significantly from the tax free salary and decided to move somewhere with the option of PR. After coming here not only do I not like the job market but I’m finding it hard to get a new job.

I consider this a migration failure and don’t want to dip more into my savings and empty my pockets. I am considering returning to India and either going back to Dubai or working in Mumbai where my family is currently.

I want a proper career. I was in HR/Recruitment prior and I was able to get a good salary in Dubai. I don’t feel the place I’m in now has the same opportunities and I’d also like to settle down eventually which will get delayed staying here.

What I’m the most worried about is what relatives will say. I have kept my migration hush but a lot of family know I’m abroad and tend to stop by whenever they like. I had one with say I’m childish when I said I don’t want to move to Australia. Like I don’t want to be insulted but I don’t feel this place is working out for me anymore.

I feel sad just getting repeatedly rejected from interviews. I don’t want my career to be ruined doing rough jobs forever.

It’s gone and hidden in the corner of the ceiling. What if it falls on me while I’m sleeping? I’ll literally die. Ugh 😣 help me what do I do?

I’m in Auckland

IMO modern feminism doesn’t add value to anyone’s life or society. It’s just a placeholder movement to get women to openly hate on men. It’s devoid of personal responsibility and allows women to act as if their actions have no consequences. Take abortion for example the idea that women should have sex without consequences and the open mockery of men that don’t look good enough or earn enough shows modern feminism is about superiority rather than equality.

The movement is generally supported by women that are upper class or upper middle class, college educated, and in Hollywood or the C-suite. It’s not for everyone. The movement encourages women to look down upon traditional values or marriage. Both of which can provide value to women who aren’t in strong financial positions. Abstaining can prevent unwanted pregnancies and marriage can provide financial security with dual incomes, splitting bills etc.

Anything that might make a woman who hasn’t got an inheritance or financial means more secure is devalued. The career is placed above all else. The whole boss babe, boss B culture stems from modern feminism and doesn’t provide value. Women need to take responsibility for themselves and their lives.

Note: I’m not saying all women exhibit this behaviour just some that are feminists

Honestly I’ve had it really. I have had clean ultrasounds and blood tests. Now I’m considering a colonoscopy to rule out anything back there. But the past year or so I’ve been getting butt cramps before and at the start of the period. This was so bad once or twice I got diagnosed with an anal fissure. But now I’ve notice the fissure acts up before or after my period. So technically it’s cyclical. Right now I’m on my period and my butt hole is literally in pain its cramping. It’s radiating to my stupid hip and my whole lower body is aching. I’m so glad I’m at home today. I have regular periods and no cysts so no pcos. I really don’t know what’s wrong with me and I don’t find going to the gynae helpful. One doctor asked me to have children to help with the pain. I’m 29 rn. I don’t want to go through childbirth if I can’t get through period cramps. I want to stop the period entirely but I come from a religious family and they’ve convinced me that BC will give me cancer.

I don’t know what to say to the gynae. What do I say? How do I get checked for endo?

I’m contemplating moving back to my home country and job hunting. It’s not a western country but I can live in a nice one bedroom for what I’m paying in Auckland for a shared 3BHK. I have a valid work visa till 2029 so if I change my mind I can return. I have around 40k NZD in savings which nearly doubles because of the currency difference.

I’m going to enter my early 30s and the past year and a half in NZ hasn’t been that great. I chose a job that had residency potential and it turned out to be awful for me. I am actively job hunting but the wages and the distance from my family along with the poor quality homes and general isolation is making me sad. It doesn’t help that everyone is enjoying summer now and I’m freezing here since it’s winter. The weather is very similar to the UK from what I remember just sad and grey.

I’m feeling a bit stuck and would love some advice from people who have successfully pivoted careers.
My background is:
Bachelor’s degree in Communications

Master’s degree in Human Resource Management

Around 6 years of experience in recruitment, talent acquisition, and project coordination

Recently completed a one-year postgraduate teaching qualification (Early Childhood Education)

The problem is that I realised during the course that teaching isn’t for me. I completed it, but I honestly didn’t enjoy the work and don’t want to pursue teaching as a long-term career. I wanted to quit the course but I relocated and did it away from home plus I wasn’t getting a refund etc.

I’d like to move back into recruitment, HR, project coordination, administration, or other office-based roles, but I’m struggling with how to position myself. My most recent qualification and experience are now education-related, and I’m worried recruiters will look at my CV and think I’ve changed careers completely.
A few questions:
How would you structure a CV in this situation?

Should I minimise the teaching qualification or keep it prominent?

How do I explain the career change in applications and interviews without sounding negative about teaching?

Would you apply directly for recruitment/HR roles or focus on admin/coordinator positions first?

Any advice from recruiters, HR professionals, or people who have made a similar pivot would be hugely appreciated.

I am graduating tomorrow and can’t sleep. Idk I’m excited but nervous since this is my masters so o have to work after this. I have worked before but I’m stressed now. This is the final formal education I’ll be doing. A part of me doesn’t want to use the degree but then it would mean I wasted time which I’d have to explain in interviews if I take a job unrelated to the degree.

Idk am I late in life or early. What does the future hold idk…..

I’m not happy but I’m relieved. It’s been one and a half year to be exact. He passed from the big C in 2025. I cried on and off for a year and sometimes didn’t know why I was crying. When he was alive there were some good moments. But most of them were bad. He scared me and we fought constantly even when he was ill. He also refused proper treatment and also didn’t make a will so the admin after death was horrendous.

Everything was horrendous tbh. Before he died he chose to fight with me about my career while on a vacation. He said I was too focused on something he wanted me to do something else. And like a true idiot after he died I pursued that profession out of some guilt and one year on hate it. I was in the right field in the first place. He made me feel small. He hurt me and he made me a grown woman in her 20s feel like an incompetent child regularly.

I’m willing to admit he wasn’t a great dad. I am done mourning him. I am done feeling guilty and I am done trying to live life to make anyone else happy. I don’t know what I want but I don’t want to live for him or anyone else.

Are you guys okay? It looks bad. I’m not in Canada but seeing the images I felt I couldn’t breathe.

Are you happy teaching abroad? Did you stay or go home? Are you still teaching?