u/Individual-Course-59

They're more like boils really, definitely blocked hair follicles. They used to only happen now and then but I've got 4 at the moment :(

I know it's because I'm overweight and my thighs rub together a lot.

Do I need to go get diagnosed with Hidradenitis? I don't want to show the doctor 😥

I know it's not the end of the world but I already have a list weird maladies and I don't want another one

My contract stipulates that I have to give one month's notice. I plan to give my notice in two weeks before I go on my two weeks annual leave, so I won't work the last two weeks of my notice, I'll be on annual leave. (I have accrued enough holiday)

I'm supposed to be back from my annual leave on Monday 7th September.

So should I give my notice on Friday 7th August? Or Thursday 6th August?

Slowly recovering from being a people pleaser, it's incredible how it takes only one instance of me standing up for myself or contradicting narc family members (even very politely) for them to completely fly off the handle and consider our relationship redundant. Like wtf

I have never considered my uncle/auntie to be narcissistic as such, I know it's a spectrum. I always considered them to be mean, selfish, stubborn, closed-minded, hateful, miserable. I am not close with them whatsoever but have maintained good terms just because it felt easier.

A few weeks ago I was forced to speak up about something. I did it politely and changed my words to seem less combative. And yet the messages I received back from both of them - insane. One of them completely flew off the handle, wrote a barely comprehensible response with lots of '!!???!!'. Completely failed to acknowledge the point I was making.

The other one did DARVO, like, a textbook example.

There's no room for discussion, dialogue, self-analysis. That's all it took, one conversation where I slightly disagreed with them, now they evidently hate me. They were waiting to hate me all along.

I hardly have any family and even though these ones are \*ankers, I still feel grief. My uncle has been in my life forever, I am nearly 30 now, and I literally think he will shun me forever, because I lightly intimated that he might have made a mistake. Lol

I have never considered my uncle/auntie to be narcissistic as such, I know it's a spectrum. I always considered them to be mean, selfish, stubborn, closed-minded, hateful, miserable. I am not close with them whatsoever but have maintained good terms just because it felt easier.

A few weeks ago I was forced to speak up about something. I did it politely and changed my words to seem less combative. And yet the messages I received back from both of them - insane. One of them completely flew off the handle, wrote a barely comprehensible response with lots of '!!???!!'. Completely failed to acknowledge the point I was making.

The other one did DARVO, like, a textbook example.

There's no room for discussion, dialogue, self-analysis. That's all it took, one conversation where I slightly disagreed with them, now they evidently hate me. They were waiting to hate me all along.

I hardly have any family and even though these ones are *ankers, I still feel grief. My uncle has been in my life forever, I am nearly 30 now, and I literally think he will shun me forever, because I lightly intimated that he might have made a mistake. Lol

I had a favourite jumper that I managed to put in the washing machine and dryer and it turned into like 1/4 the original size.

I went on eBay and found the exact same jumper in the exact same size.

The seller warned in the description that the jumper ran a little small, as in, it is described as a ladies size 10 but was more like a 6.

I remember my favourite jumper being a little snug but it fit perfectly.

Stupidly, I didn't check the measurements the seller listed before buying.

I've got the jumper and it's obviously (to me) slightly felted. The texture is wrong, the stretch off, it smells strongly of detergent which is not suitable for 100% wool. The sleeves are miles too short (but they match the description).

Do I have a case?

The sizing may be as described but the product is damaged, albeit in a subtle way that only people who had previously owned the exact same garment from new would notice.

Found one in FB marketplace that has pretty much just been taken out the box and put back in again. Is £125 a good price?

The house clearance stall at my local car boot is my favourite place to spend a Sunday morning. I've found many treasures in the boxes of stuff, including love letters, full on diaries, entire lifetimes of photographs.

Today I found a box which contained literally every important document a person could have. Original birth certificate, passport(s), wedding video (on video), baby video (on tape), degree certificate, school reports, birthday cards to and from their mother, photographs. Normally I wouldn't think twice seeing that stuff but the passport photo and birth certificate was weird. I informed the house clearance people that they probably shouldn't be trying to sell someone's old passport, and they did quickly say it was a mistake and should've been disposed of.

I did a sneaky Google and found the relatives mentioned in the birthday cards and photographs immediately. Would you contact them? Is that really weird? Is there any way at all that they don't know that their family documents are just in a box in a field?

Sorry, I'm only 19 and I'm a little bit confused about how this works.

I applied through Trac, the role was advertised to all, not just internal staff.

On the application I obviously stated that I currently work for the NHS (same trust).

I put my supervisor down as a reference, but I assume references will only be contacted at the next stage. Supervisor has given me permission to put her down as a reference (reluctantly) before.

Btw if it isn't obvious - I'm not close to the supervisor at all and have probably met her three times in a year (I work in the community).

What do I say in an email to her "Hi, I've applied for this job, can I put you down as a reference?"

Could she potentially offer a reference/good word before the interview selection process begins? How to ask for that in an email?

I'm over 25, let's say, and I intend to do a full time level 3 course at a college. It's a practical course.

Can I claim Universal Credit whilst doing so?

What other ways do people get help to do level 3 courses?

I do have some savings but not enough to live off for one year

Thank you

Some Art Foundation courses are free if they're part of a HE college, and some are paid for (if at a uni).

I'm looking for either type but ones that are high quality and hopefully have a mixed age of students as I am quite a bit older that 16-18!

So I'm not exactly 'long term' but I can't find another appropriate place to post so I hope it's ok to post here.

I've been feeling very emotional since my last session and negative thoughts and limiting beliefs have been surfacing. I've been feeling a kind of grief too, completely identifying with the content of the negative thoughts (eg. 'Other people are able to do that but I never will. I will never achieve my dreams. I will never find satisfaction in myself' etc etc).

I've been wondering why I've been feeling all this and if it has anything to do with TRE. I've also recently started breathwork.

I've done a lot of trauma therapy over the years.

I am wondering if actually, reframing what is happening, that the beliefs are coming into focus more so that I can let them go, or begin to move on from them. Interpreting the thoughts in that way suddenly makes me feel empowered and positive. I wondered what other people thought?

In England, it seems that funding is available for Level 3 courses. This is called the Advanced Learner Loan - this pays for tuition fees usually and it is Plan 5.

However, when I look at Student Finance Wales, there is no direct equivalent and you cannot get an Advanced Learner Loan if the course is in Wales.

Anyone know more about this?

Thanks

My crutch from literally around 4/5 years old was food. I would eat in secret and would feel enormous shame, but it was the thing that kept me going, looking back. Both my parents were unsafe and food was my constant.

Nowadays, I've done so much healing but I'm still overweight because of the overeating.

Can we heal from this? Has anyone?

I've done a lot of nervous system regulation and I am much less anxious, but still this problem remains

I've been doing TRE a few months and I find it relaxing, but that's about it so far.

One of the main things in my life that I struggle with is the tendency to overeat, it goes way way back into the beginning of my life, growing up in a family where there was domestic abuse.

Has anyone noticed a shift in negative patterns that they've had since very early childhood?

I know that continuing TRE will only be good for me but I kind of need a little boost of motivation/belief to continue to commit to the practice.

Thank you