u/LawofKarma369

Im a girl and whenever I hang out with friends, I dont drink, smokes lang. Enjoy naman but lakas maka dry eyes and red eyes.

What is a good eyedrops for this? Para malessen yujg pungay at redness? Any recos?

I(34F) was engaged to a Cap(37M). We were both huge work. The typical avoidant-attachment couple, traumatized individuals doing immense work, therapy, spiritual work. Our relationship really put both of us on edge. Huge love, constant pressure to level up and transform. In short, it was toxic.

He is a cap sun, gemini moon,pisces sun. i am pisces sun, scorpio moon/rising. Our relationship lasted 3years. We broke up twice before at 6mos(2days) and 1.5yrs.(3mos) he came back and he proposed after a month of getting back together. He changed a lot, yet still has so much more work to do. And I also changed, was stronger, yet was still an enabler.

Until a few months ago (January), I decided enough is enough and stood my ground. I somehow broke through and realized my choice to take back myself and autonomy. And how I have romanticized my role as a “feminine, submissive, surrendered” woman. Apart from that, I was blindly loyal (i blame my double scorpio for this). It was dishonoring to both our sovereignty. And while I was his ride or die, it became crystal clear that he wasn’t mine during many low points of mine where he refuses to meet my need despite how I communicate or reach out.

Being the pisces that I am, I couldn’t break up outright, but I became quiet and took space. Only told him I don’t have the capacity to talk. Because when I did, he would push me away and blame me for being too much, too emotional, or dysregulated or not being grateful (or all of them) These were all the times I just couldn’t take it anymore and I could use someone to anchor me. He broke up with me after a couple weeks, which devastated me because I was just taking space to “regulate”. I did accept it with minimal resistance.

For more context: I am a single mom, since my child was 6mos old. He met me when my child was 3. Needless to say, I wanted a complete family experience for my child and took on so much just for that. He was extremely possessive/protective, to the point where he put a curfew on me. He framed it as me being too open, warm, and super feminine that men always want to get close to me. (I am also attractive and fit, an artist, musician and entrepreneur) Despite showing him how I am capable of expressing firm boundaries, I waited for him to see that and put up with it for a few months even though it was painful and hard. Clothes and interaction with men in social events also became part of his control and coercion. My role in it was, romanticizing the whole thing as me having a complete family, and a provider/protector man who only wanted the best for us and I trusted him at the cost of my autonomy and self-trust.

So yeah here we are now. 4 months after we ended things. He comes back again. Still wanting to be part of my life.
—-
I am so much happier now being single. I did the hard part of grieving alone while tending to my kid while being displaced and starting all over again finding work, bringing all our things to our new home etc.

I am really lucky my parents welcomed us back in their home. I invested in myself, I started to earn again after him telling me I didn’t need to work while we were together. After a few months, I made friends again. I had some anxiety around people because there was still fear from when he got angry at me if I was laughing with other people esp men. Then I saw how much people celebrated me without caging me. It was something so contrasting to how he “loved” me. These people didn’t even have any romantic interest in me, they just saw my gifts and talents.

I have love for him and compassion. But not to the point where I am going to go through all that shit again. I do wish he would just love me normally, and maybe then he will have a chance. He is a good person outside of our relationship, successful, influential, money driven lol. He taught me precision and how to set my standards. How to discern and read people. He even taught me how to negotiate and get the best outcome. So many capricornian skills I have acquired from him! I am grateful.

I(34F) matched with a Capricorn man(40M) and I’m trying to understand the pacing.

When we first matched, he was very enthusiastic. He sent quite a few long, thoughtful messages sharing about himself and asking about me. He even said something like, “I’ve been looking for someone like you.”

Our communication wasn’t rapid back-and-forth texting. It felt more like emailing like he would send multiple thoughtful messages, then I would reply thoughtfully to all of them.

Eventually, we were both online and moved the convo elsewhere.
The next day, we set up a video call so I can answer his other questions lol.
And our first call ended up lasting a few hours! I did enjoy it,i noticed he was really chatty.. more than me lol but in general I admired his vulnerability.
We exchanged a few song recos, as one of the things we mutually enjoy.
Afterward, he mentioned he needed time to process, and after a few more banter we said our goodnights. I didn’t reach out the next day. He didn’t message either.

The following day, he said hi and told me he has been thinking about me. He also said he had friends over and would be cooking for them. We exchanged a few messages, and I said I was thinking abt him too but just gave him space to process.
Then I said have fun enjoy yoir night and that I’ll be waiting for food receipts..send photos

The next day, nothing again.
That night, I checked in.
He said he had been super busy as Mondays are really busy. And that he meant to message, but a client called. He even said, “Thanks for checking in, I appreciate you.”

Then he was flirty again and hinted at asking me out in a very dad-joke way. He said something like, “Do you have Spotify? I like it because I can download books and podcasts. There’s this book I’m reading now called How to Turn a 3-Hour Call Into a Date.”

It made me laugh, and I said, “Okay, finish the book and use it on me.”

Then he needed to go back to work and said “ill leave it at that for now”
after a few hrs a few more song recos which i heart reacted to, I didnt reply as I was tired.

Then the next day… nothing again.

So now I’m wondering: should I reach out again, or should I clock this as a man who’s not that interested?

Is this just Capricorn slow-processing / cautious energy, or does the inconsistency mean he’s not serious?

Any perspective would be helpful.

34F single mom by choice. No bby daddy support since i kicked him out for cheating and stealing money from me.

Just wanna ask you single ladies, how do you deal with being horny while staying intentionally single?

Not looking for a partner just because I’m lonely or sexually frustrated, but I’m curious how other women navigate that part of life. Does it get easier? Do you have healthy outlets? Do you just let the feeling pass?

I personally get by with self pleasure but peak of ovulation that’s another story 😅 it sometimes gets me feeling extra spicy that syddenly all those men sitting in my DMs look more tempting than they did the week before. But ofc i dont do it bc I’ve learned not to make long-term decisions based on short-term hormones. 🤣😅

EDIT: you guys are right, flick the bean and move forward. Hassle-free 🥰 seems like fantasy is much more sexy than the actual thing 🫪

Im a single mom with a 6yr old. I’m proud to say that I’ve taken good care of myself and my kid as a single mom since she was 6mos old. (Bio dad cheated and stole from me, kicked him out)

Also, i’m fit, smart, attractive. Only had one long term relationship after my break up with my kid’s dad which ended in a mature and mutual decision. I have been celibate for quite some time now. Wala rin ako balak mag relationship until makapag pagawa ako ng sariling house.

Pero itong si 25M ewan ko ba, he’s a friend I met in a spiritual community years ago. Nagkamustahan lang and niyaya ako to go out and eat some time. Bro pa nga tawag ko sa kanya, sis tawag nya sakin, pero kinikilig ako.

Wala naman natutuloy na plans though. Pero sa ilang beses namin na paguusap lagi ako niyayaya, like to hang out or go to this bar or somewhere. Nameet na rin nya kid ko years ago while hanging out with our friends. So wala naman ako malisya na inaapply. Pero secretly crush ko sya wahahaha

Hello po! As a kwarentahin na naghahandle ng family business namin, kailangan ko na rin mag-apply ng credit card kasi ako na lang sa family namin ang wala. 😅

Hindi siya for personal use, but mainly for paying orders and expenses for our business. Medyo malalaki rin kasi yung purchases namin, so gusto ko sana ma-take advantage yung credit card rewards or perks.

Preferably yung nag-aaccumulate ng miles, kasi travel yung naisip kong pinaka-sulit na reward as a single kwarentahin. Pero open din ako sa ibang perks basta practical and mapapakinabangan.

Ano po ma suggest nyo?

Baka may ma-recommend kayo, mga ka-kwarentahin? Thank you! 😊

Enevehh kinikilig ang tita mo sa mas bata. (Sorry na agad.😅🤣🤣) I swear kasi akala ko magkalapit lang kami ng age. Im 34F single mom na walang kilig for years! 😮‍💨🤣🤣

Bumibili lang naman ako ng healthy products sa kanya every now and then, connected kami sa community ng wellness kaya may pa bro and sis kami na tawagan.

So like natural lang yung mga sweet na sleep well po sister mga ganun va 🤣 kahit napapansin ko nga pag umoorder ako mabulaklak sya makipag usap nonchalant lang me.

Yung mga words na “hello dear”
“yes my sister basta ikaw”
Ako naman to si “salamat bro” wahaha!

Pero ewan ko ba kung anong kalibugan ng buwan meron pero kanina may oorderin ako na health bars tas sabe ba naman “lakas ng ulan now sister, if only i could share what I have here with you. Would be an amazing time to cherish the rain and chill”

Like tehh, ikaw yung chumill pinafakilig mo naman akooo😮‍💨🤣🤣🤣.

Tas pagka check ko ng profile nya nak ng pating 25yrs old pala. 😅😅😅 bakettt! Haha. Yun lang share lang. Ineenjoy ko lang ang random kilig.

Hi everyone. I’m looking for advice from parents who may have gone through something similar.

I recently broke up with my ex fiance who was not my daughter’s biological father, but he became a father figure to her. She is 6 years old now and has known my ex since she was 3.

I had been a single parent since she was 6months old, because her father was abusive. I let him see her from time to time but decided it was best to remove him from our lives around the time my kid was 2 yrs old.

So after 3 yrs old until 6 she has only known my ex as her dad. We all lived together for almost a year in our own house in SE Asia, and they had a real bond. He was part of her daily life, her memories, and her sense of family..

Today she found a music box he gave her for her birthday when we were living in SE Asia. She told me, “mom, when I feel sad, just play the music box so I will remember the times when daddy and I played together.”

It broke my heart..

I’m trying to understand what is healthiest for her. Since coming back to my home country because of the breakup, she wasn't really looking for him. After a couple of months she would say "you should not fight with baba anymore" I ask her why she says that and she replies "because you dont call each other anymore" We don't talk anymore because Ive initiated no contact. And I just reassured her that we have some adult things we need to work on and that baba and I love her so much..

Part of me wonders if I should reach out to him for her sake, maybe to ask if he can show up in a clear and consistent way, like an occasional call or voice message. But another part of me worries that if he cannot be consistent, it may hurt or confuse her even more.

I don’t want to project my own grief or attachment onto her. I also don’t want to erase someone who genuinely mattered to her. I’m trying to find the balance between honoring her feelings and protecting her from more emotional confusion.

Me and my ex ended things amicable, it wasn't because of cheating/abuse, but irreconcilable differences... actually he was very emotional absent and would not respond to my needs and I would almost even beg for him to just give me the time of day when I really needed somebody.

Anyway, he and my daughter had a great bond.. so my plan is to reach out and ask him if he is willing to have a few final calls with my kid so she can have a gentler transition.. and I will just take care of setup/tech to keep our boundaries clean. I am doing this for my child only. I'm still grieving but more in acceptance now since I've been grieving for a long time while in the relationship..

What do you guys think? Should I reach out or should I just keep moving on?

Hi everyone. I’m looking for advice from parents who may have gone through something similar.

I recently broke up with my ex fiance who was not my daughter’s biological father, but he became a father figure to her. She is 6 years old now and has known my ex since she was 3. I had been a single parent since she was 6months old. We lived together for a season, and they had a real bond. He was part of her daily life, her memories, and her sense of family..

Today she found a music box he gave her for her birthday when we were living in SE Asia. She told me, “mom, when I feel sad, just play the music box so I will remember the times when daddy and I played together.”

It broke my heart.

I’m trying to understand what is healthiest for her. Since coming back to my home country because of the breakup, she wasn't really looking for him. After a couple of months she would say "you should not fight with baba anymore" I ask her why she says that and she replies "because you dont call each other anymore" We don't talk anymore because Ive initiated no contact. And I just reassured her that we have some adult things we need to work on and that baba and I love her so much..

Part of me wonders if I should reach out to him for her sake, maybe to ask if he can show up in a clear and consistent way, like an occasional call or voice message. But another part of me worries that if he cannot be consistent, it may hurt or confuse her even more.

I don’t want to project my own grief or attachment onto her. I also don’t want to erase someone who genuinely mattered to her. I’m trying to find the balance between honoring her feelings and protecting her from more emotional confusion.

For those who have been through this:

How did you help your child grieve a father figure after a breakup?

Did you allow continued contact?

Was it better to keep the door closed completely?

What words helped your child understand the loss without making them feel abandoned?

Any advice would be deeply appreciated. I just want to handle this as gently and wisely as possible for my daughter.

Hi everyone. I’m looking for advice from parents who may have gone through something similar.

I recently broke up with my ex fiance who was not my daughter’s biological father, but he became a father figure to her. She is 6 years old now and has known my ex since she was 3. I had been a single parent since she was 6months old. We lived together for a season, and they had a real bond. He was part of her daily life, her memories, and her sense of family..

Today she found a music box he gave her for her birthday when we were living in SE Asia. She told me, “mom, when I feel sad, just play the music box so I will remember the times when daddy and I played together.”

It broke my heart.

I’m trying to understand what is healthiest for her. Since coming back to my home country because of the breakup, she wasn't really looking for him. After a couple of months she would say "you should not fight with baba anymore" I ask her why she says that and she replies "because you dont call each other anymore" We don't talk anymore because Ive initiated no contact. And I just reassured her that we have some adult things we need to work on and that baba and I love her so much..

Part of me wonders if I should reach out to him for her sake, maybe to ask if he can show up in a clear and consistent way, like an occasional call or voice message. But another part of me worries that if he cannot be consistent, it may hurt or confuse her even more.

I don’t want to project my own grief or attachment onto her. I also don’t want to erase someone who genuinely mattered to her. I’m trying to find the balance between honoring her feelings and protecting her from more emotional confusion.

For those who have been through this:

How did you help your child grieve a father figure after a breakup?

Did you allow continued contact?

Was it better to keep the door closed completely?

What words helped your child understand the loss without making them feel abandoned?

Any advice would be deeply appreciated. I just want to handle this as gently and wisely as possible for my daughter.

I’ve been moving on and feeling happier now. But a part in me is still super loyal that moving on feels like I’m betraying them. Or more like guilt and I can almost hear my heart saying sorry..

For context, we were 3yrs together, engaged, but broke up because of incompatibility. He was emotionally absent and didn’t respond to my needs even when it was bare minimum. And he viewed my pain as emotional chaos and me drifting away was immature. There was no cheating. Just a slow death and finally we ended things.

PROBLEM: Parang ineexpect nila na ako lagi sasagot sa anak nila

May anak akong 6 years old, tawagin nating Claire. Madalas niya kalaro sina Lisa (8) at Kate (10) dito sa subdivision namin.

Isa kami sa may kaya sa neighborhood at kilala yung business ng parents ko sa area namin. Ako ay tumutulong sa parents, WFH yung office work ko sa kanila dahil single mom din ako. Part time lang naman pati pay.

Anyway ito ang ganap. Nagmessage ako sa mama ni Lisa
“Ate, gusto kasi ni Claire magswimming sa pool. Naisip ko dito sa V Resort. Pwede ba kayo ni Lisa sa Monday mga 10am–1pm? Baon na lang tayo lunchbox.”

Umoo naman siya. Since parent yung kausap ko, inassume ko na KKB kami. Walking distance lang yung resort at around ₱100 per bata.

Then si Kate nagsabi gusto rin sumama at tinanong ako kung ililibre ko raw ba silang mga bata. Sabi ko si Claire lang babayaran ko at magpaalam siya sa parents niya.

After nun, nagmessage si Lisa
“Tita di na po ako sasama, di nyo daw po babayaran entrance ko huhu.”

Nawindang lang ako kasi parang ineexpect nila na ako sasagot sa entrance.

More background with onting rant:
Halos araw-araw nandito si Lisa sa bahay namin. Kami nagbabantay, nagpapakain, minsan dito pa naliligo. Okay lang naman sakin dahil masaya ako na may kalaro anak ko.

Pero siyempre may extra gastos, extra kalat, extra mental load, at extra parenting habang nagtatrabaho rin ako bilang single mom. Sinabihan ko si Lisa one time na sa kanila muna sila maglaro, sabj bawal daw. Tinanong ko anu ginagawa ng mama nya sa kanila nagcecellphone lang daw.

Minsan nililibre ko rin si Lisa ng snacks, playground, o dinner kapag sumasama sya sa amin. Pero hindi ko naman inexpect na automatic ako sasagot kapag nagyaya lang ako magswimming.

Valid ba na inassume kong KKB yun since parent-to-parent invitation naman? Or kapag ikaw nagyaya sa gala ng mga bata, automatic ba dapat ikaw magbabayad? Iniisip ko kasi parang pag niyaya ko friend ko mag milk tea o kaya kain sa labas KKB kami e

Body doubling is a productivity strategy where a person performs tasks in the presence of another, designed to improve focus, motivation, and accountability.

Hey guys!! Im a woman 34F single mom looking to finish my self-paced courses and study consistently and start my business!

I’m looking to find a body double. Huge bonus if you are someone I can also bounce ideas with, or someone who also wants to achieve a goal!!

Im a creative and into spirituality, self development and psychology. I also have a background in graphic design, video editing, website design, and content creation if this helps in anyway.

We can do our sessions via google meet! DM me!