u/M16Raids

So I used to box for around 2 years, I’ve recently started kickboxing. My footwork is ok and it’s the same with my punching technique. I always mainly counter punched and would move to get people into my counter punches or my check hook.

I’ve recently started kickboxing. I know my stance is going to get my leg battered. I haven’t sparred yet, but I’m very aware I will probably get beat up. The leg kicks aren’t something I am going to be able to take well, especially with the way I move. I’ve spoke to my coaches and they have told me ways that I will get countered if I move like how I do. I’ve spoke to them a few times about how I can adapt, but I think I need more advice as well. It’s going to not be an easy transition. How can I adapt to this new sport. I want to try and make my boxing work, while adapting it enough to not get my legs completely killed. Has anyone else also transitioned?

Also how can I force people to box with me. I know I will be at an advantage if I can find a way to force boxing exchanges. I want to also play to my strengths.

I’ve just started kickboxing, but I noticed my ankle flaring up from an injury I had a year a bit ago.

Around a year ago I snapped some ligaments in my ankle (I fell out of a window and landed on my ankle badly). I’ve done all of my recovery and have managed to return to weights, with not much pain and the strength has returned, still not to the full extent as before the injury, but it’s better. I managed to shadow box fine after around 6 months (I used to do boxing). My footwork was a little less fluid, however that was expected. However I started kickboxing recently and it’s flaring up again, especially while shadow boxing. I think maybe the new kicking is flaring up my ankle.

I don’t really know what to do. It was ok before, but the flare up really isn’t good. I thought I’d ask on here if anyone has experienced an ankle injury and what they did to compensate for it after it was finished recovering, and how to stop it from flaring up.

She would always tell me she doesn’t remember the stuff she would say to me. I know what happened, at least I think I do. I wouldn’t have panic attacks thinking about her screaming and insulting me if it didn’t happen. I wouldn’t have been terrified of her. I wouldn’t have been scared to leave the house in fear of her reaction, because of when she would get upset that I left the house without telling her.

She convinced me I just had an anxiety disorder, and that means i remember it worse than it actually was. My therapist agrees I never had one, but honestly I’m just questioning myself. I actually got on meds cause I thought I had one. She told me her taking her anxiety disorder out on me wasn’t abuse. I actually believed it and apologised for ever telling her she was abusing me, and that I’m scared of her, and it needs to stop.

I have so much body dysmorphia from her. At first I liked my body and liked how my face looked, but the more she would say she could tell I hated my body the more I actually believed it. She would say I looked too skinny and didn’t have a normal body. I struggle to look at my body sometimes now. She told me everyone from my country was weak.

She would say she could tell I was deeply insecure because “she knows me”. It started to come true the more she said it. I was never insecure at first, but I am so bad now. I’m getting better I think. I have lost so much confidence, I just wish I was the old me again.

Everyone I talk to agrees I was emotionally abused, but it’s so hard not to question myself. I was cut off from so many of my friends in the end, the only person I really talked to was her. She called me a manipulator. Just scared I don’t remember what really happened and that I was really the problem.

Her and her new bf made fun of me a month after we broke up too. They sarcastically asked how is my little island in a language I don’t speak and told me to chill my balls on my little island when I got annoyed. I had to google translate all of it and I just felt terrible. A month after this after her family saw I opened up about her abuse online she messaged me saying I understand your upset that you “thought” me and my boyfriend made fun of you but that doesn’t justify an abuse allegation. The gaslighting is insane. Her mom told me to mature and stop lying and that insecure teenagers dating isn’t abuse. We were 19, we were adults.

I really hope they don’t see this. I don’t want to get harassed by them for opening up again.

Honestly I’m struggling to just get better. It’s crazy how much confidence I have lost. Just scared I’ll never be me again, I feel a bit better, just not fully. Just happy I’m out though.

I’ll paint the picture quick.

Me and my ex broke up in late June. We agreed to be best friends. I still saw her as my best friend when this happened.

A month afterwards she gave her phone to her new boyfriend, to send a picture of himself to me smiling with his thumb up making fun of me and my country in German, a language I don’t speak. They both knew I wouldn’t understand this. I then just responded asking what was said, so they kept responding to me in German again in messages, knowing I won’t understand it. They finally answered saying he said in the picture “how is your little island” and then told me to “chill your balls on your little island”. The last part was also in German so I had to google translate it. Making fun of me in a language I don’t even understand is so rude. We are also 20 anyway so this behaviour is childish regardless. Trying to “cuck” your new girlfriend’s ex is what high school kids do.

I stepped away and stopped engaging with them cause I knew I was just getting mad and didn’t want to deal with the situation. There was no point, I didn’t gain anything. The next day I responded saying how disrespectful that was and that the friendship is over, and then blocked her. For my “best friend” to do that fucking hurt so bad. There wasn’t even an apology just an “I didn’t know he would do that”. Yeah right.

I tried to be the mature one and just step away and say it was disrespectful and then block her. Holy fuck I wish I didn’t. I feel like such a pussy. I feel like the kid that never stood up for himself when he got bullied again. I wish I was meaner and I wish i insulted them back.

Yeah just wish I wasn’t the bigger person and was an asshole back man.

This is a bit of a kinky story I know, but yeah it sucked so here guys.

So I had been spanked before by my ex, we both enjoyed it and it turned me on it was always a kink for me.

I also was into bondage so we decided to try that. So here I was hands tied up, with the rope on a collar, gagged and she was spanking me with the paddle. We agreed that if I put my thumb up then it means she needs to stop. It got to the point where it hurt too much and I wanted her to stop, I still was new to all of this so I couldn’t take anymore. So I put my thumb up.

Anyway she didn’t stop, she saw my thumb up and said no. She forced me back into position and kept spanking me. I kept saying no through the gag and she just kept going. I was tied up so I couldn’t stop her. I was pretty much helpless. I was pretty scared honestly. Kind of didn’t know what to do. I don’t know why she refused my safe word but she just kept hitting me. This lasted for a minute or two.

Anyway thankfully she’s an ex. I don’t know why I didn’t leave her straight after this honestly.

I’m starting to get a pinch in my spine while deadlifting, no matter the weight. I need an alternative to it, as I don’t think it’s a good idea to keep doing them. This is the only exercise that starts this and whenever I do it lasts for a while afterwards. This has been an issue for the last few months, I’ve been weightlifting since I was 15 and it never had been an issue before.

My forms ok, I’ve recorded it and watched back and asked the trainers at the gym and they say the form isn’t an issue. I’m also not ego lifting, I mainly have had to start lifting light weights when it comes to the deadlift. By light weights I mean 55kg (121lb) to be more specific.

What’s an alternative to deadlift that can work similar muscles that I can do instead, it’s become obvious I need to stop doing it. I already do RDLs and farmers walks, which I know are quite similar.

The bi-cycle gets to the point where sometimes I think I’m fully straight and only like woman, then the next day I love men again. It’s such a confusing concept to get your head around. I also have days where I only like men so will think I’ll fully gay.

I feel like being bi is constantly questioning your sexuality, then something showing you you’re bi again. It’s quite fun however.

I mean wanting to give a BJ as a man definitely isn’t straight.

Anyway I love being bisexual. Just wanted to say that!

How is everyone else’s bi-cycle?

Just kind of scared I’m going to get judged by future partners. I’m still a virgin, but have kissed and gave oral before. I’m 20 (m). I know I kind of suck at kissing as well, and it makes me feel really insecure. I just hope I can find someone who’s ok with my inexperience.

I don’t want to ever lose my virginity outside of a relationship, I feel like the first time for me I want it to be special, with someone I trust. I personally wouldn’t want a one night stand anyway honestly, I don’t think it’s for me. I don’t judge those who do, just not for me. I doubt I would enjoy even kissing a person who I don’t have some sort of bond with. Emotions are kind of a big thing for me, in any aspect of life really.

The last time I ever went to make out with my ex she laughed at me, and said she wasn’t gonna make out with me, honestly I think that’s part of why I’m so insecure and why I think I’m bad at it. I’m ok with the rejection, but laughing at me made me feel horrible about myself. We never had sex because she wasn’t ready and that was ok.

A lot of people my age will be experienced, and I’m scared my inexperience will turn them off when dating, and they won’t want to date me. Also I’ll admit their experience will probably intimidate me a little (which sounds stupid), simply because knowing they are better than me will make me feel insecure.

I hate the fact I’m still a virgin, genuinely I hate it. It kinda makes me feel like a loser and I’ve been laughed at for it before.

This is one of my only insecurities which is kind of funny to think about. It’s a stupid one.

I want to be able to please my partner, I want them to enjoy it. I don’t really wanna be a waste of space when it comes to this aspect of the relationship.

I was so scared of her. I walked on eggshells constantly so she wouldn’t scream at me. Everyone i’ve talked to has told me she was abusing me, and I thought she was while I was with, but honestly I just feel crazy. I don’t want to go into details I just can’t.

Her mom messaged me yesterday after seeing I left a comment on social media about how she would give me panic attacks. She said her daughter wasn’t abusive and I was lying. Honestly now I just feel insane for thinking she was abusing me. Now I just don’t know what reality is. Apparently insecure teenagers dating isn’t abuse, we were 19.

I just kind of don’t know what to think or feel honestly. The break up was 2 months ago and I still feel horrible about how I was treated. I just kind of don’t know how to express my thoughts. Maybe she didn’t abuse me. Maybe I was just crazy.

Sorry I know this sounds kind of like a ramble, I just don’t know how to get my head around things.

I want to say I’m not going to do this. I know it isn’t the right thing to do.

She treated me so badly. I would have panic attacks thinking about how she screamed at me. She treated me like a verbal punching bag, then when I begged her to stop she just barely spoke to me for two months. She wouldn’t even talk to me on my birthday. Those two months were the worst, the day she told me she napped for the entire day, I know it was just to ignore me.

I changed while with her. I was so scared of her. I became so insecure and just a shell of myself. I’m starting to feel like me again. We broke up two months ago.

All I want to do is tell her how bad she was to me. Tell her friends the truth of what happened and her family too. They probably don’t know about the panic attacks she gave me, how she screamed at me and insulted me.

I know she’s already told them I said she insulted me, then said she just doesn’t remember doing it so they all think I was trying to manipulate her and that I’m crazy. I know the truth and so does she. Her friends, who were also my friends don’t.

I just want to tell her what I think of her, to tell her she’s a monster for what she did to me. I won’t, I know it’s wrong, but it’s all I want to do.

I want my truth out, and knowing I can never get it out kills me. Her friends and family probably all think I’m crazy. I wasn’t. My therapist and all my friends think I was being abused.

The last thing she ever did to me after we broke up was give a boy her phone to make fun of me and my country in a language I didn’t understand. She then lied saying she didn’t know he was going to do that. She was forgetting she joined in too.

I feel angry thinking about her. I didn’t deserve any of what she did to me. I was 18 when I met her. I was so young. She laughed at me the last time we went to make out. I’m 20 now. I don’t know how to feel.

Sorry that it’s so disjointed. Just had to get it off my chest.

She kept telling me I had anxiety disorder and that I need medication. She treated me horribly. I had panic attacks thinking about her shouting at me. She told me it was just part of my disorder. Eventually I started vaping to try and cope with the stress from being with her. She had anxiety disorder herself, I had to manage it constantly, I couldn’t even walk my dog without her thinking I hated her. I started thinking she hated me too, and asked for reassurance a lot near the end.

When we broke up an instant relief fell over me and I got off my meds the next day. A few days later I quit vaping. This was a month ago.

Sometimes I still think I have anxiety, but truth is I don’t, I never did and my therapist agreed, I was just terrified of my girlfriend and had to walk on eggshells the whole relationship. I have no idea what happened to me that year. I wasn’t me. I barely recognised myself near the end. She knew I was scared of her, she called me a manipulator.

She left me eventually. She said it was because she knew she treated me badly but I kind of know that wasn’t why. I don’t know what the reason was, and I’ll never know.

I don’t know how long it will take for me to be fully ok again. I’m better however. Just happy not to be scared of anyone.

My dad wants to add his deceased father to his birth certificate. We have been told we need a declaration of parentage from contacting the civil registration office.

The issue is, we have no one to put as a respondent, we have no contact with any of my deceased grandfathers family and never have. He was never really in my dad’s life. I never met my grandfather, he died before I was born, or his family, my dad never met his dad’s family either. We also don’t know if his family is in Ireland or England. My grandfather was Irish, who moved over to England at a young age.

What do we even do. Who can we put as a respondent on the declaration of parentage? My grandfather is dead, so obviously that’s not an option, and no family is possible to put on there.

We don’t even know my grandfathers families names.

I came out to my ex girlfriend when we started dating last year. We had only been dating a few days at the time. She was one of the first people I came out too. Her instant reaction was that I was going to cheat on her with men. She just got upset. I felt genuinely horrible about myself, she was honestly just mean about it. She was open about how she hated that her other ex boyfriend was bi as well. She was publicly in support of bi people but in truth she thought the fact that i am was gross.

I then told her that I’m straight now that I’ve got a girlfriend so it’s fine, and that seemed to calm her down. Obviously that wasn’t true, you can’t change your sexually, but I liked her and I was only 18 so I guess I was young and immature. I should have left her the moment this happened. The year we dated was kind of full of her saying she’s scared I’m going to turn out gay and leave her or cheat on her. There were full panic attacks from her.

Then comes the next year of dating her and I just kept hiding that I was bi, I hated it. I refused to believe I was bi myself as well during this time. I couldn’t accept it I hated it. I didn’t like that I liked guys too. I refused to call myself bisexual to myself but I knew I was. I was kind of just so ashamed. It was weird timing too because it was just as I was ready to come out and realised I liked guys too when I told her, and then I went back to just hiding it again.

We broke up a month ago. I’m just happy

I accept that I’m bi now. I’m happy. I still kind of hate it in a way due to how I’ve been treated by her, and knowing some of my family might not like it, but I can call myself bisexual in my head and be ok with it.

Since accepting it I’ve allowed myself to be more attracted to guys and it just feels good to be able to be myself. I kind of blocked it out in my head even before dating her, and refused to let myself like guys. It’s been a crazy experience I’ve found myself being more attracted to guys than woman since accepting who I am. I don’t know if thats just pent up emotions from repressing it all this time or not. I still haven’t gone on a date with anyone or gone out since me and my ex broke up, but I’m planning to try and date a guy in the future.

Never surround yourself with people who don’t like who you are. It killed me inside and I don’t want anyone else to make the same mistake as me. See the red flags first as well.

I’m English, she’s American. She keeps posting stuff about England on her social media and her with English guys and I honestly have no clue why.

I don’t know if she’s trying to hurt me or not but it’s really confusing. We had an amicable breakup, and I honestly thought we were on good terms. I have no issues with her so I am just extremely confused.

She also gave a guy her phone the other night and let him sent me a photo of himself asking about England to try to make fun of me. I just don’t understand why she’s doing this, I haven’t done anything wrong from what I know and I haven’t thrown any digs at her.

I’m not hurt by it, just confused and feel kind of disrespected. She said when we broke up she had no problems with me and still wants to be friends or something, so WHY is she doing this.

We aren’t friends, to make it clear.

It is his birth certificate, I know it. I requested it from the Irish embassy and they sent this back to me. Other than his death certificate from the 90s and a few things my dad has told me about his dad, who he met less than 10 times, I know nothing about my grandad.

My grandads name was Anthony Patrick, however on the birth certificate it says Patrick Anthony.

I’m so confused. The birth certificate has the right birthday and the right place of where my grandad was from. It also has his mother’s name on it, which we know to be Anne. Everything seems right, except the order of the first and middle name.

Why is this, and do I even have the right persons birth certificate?

I feel free. I’m honestly so happy. This realtionship changed me and drove me insane. It started with the constant my girlfriend asking if I hated her, and then the insults, and her getting scared when I leave the house without telling her, and then the cheating accusations, and insecurities every time I spoke to woman in any way, work anything.

I feel so free. I don’t have to be shouted at anymore, or scared of anyone. I don’t know how to heal however. Over time I became like her, and I became an anxious mess. I started doing the things she did, asking people around me if they hate me, and being scared that my girlfriend is cheating after she kept accusing me of the same thing. I started doing the same.

She started telling me I have an anxiety disorder and convinced to go on medication like she was. I never had one. I just had been shouted at for so long I just became someone I wasn’t. She told me my panic attacks from thinking about her screaming at me were just an anxiety disorder.

In the last two months it was a constant run of her putting no effort in and barely talking to me, and not showing up for me ever, including my birthday when I asked. This was after she had fully convinced me I was a cheater for cross dressing as a joke on Minecraft and then I just became a broken person. She genuinely believed I was one for doing this and so did I until therapy helped me realise I did nothing wrong. The constant push and pull from her at this time drove me insane and just wrecked me, turning me into a complete mess of just believing every word she told me and following everything she told me to do.

This has never been me in other relationships. I am so scared it will be me in my future relationships. This experience has changed me, and I don’t know how to heal. I have had therapy, and it’s helped a little bit, but in a relationship people our different to when they are single and I don’t know how I’m going to be then. I just don’t want to be an insecure mess to someone else. I just want to become ok and I don’t know how to heal from this experience.

I’m happy I’m out of it however. I just feel relaxed for the first time in a long time.

I feel kinda hurt. She didn’t put much effort into our relationship at the end, even when I asked her to, including on my birthday, and she said she still loved me as a boyfriend but she could tell I wasn’t happy so ended it. She kept telling me during the relationship that she wasn’t mentally checked out whenever I tried to communicate with her. She also would bring up marriage.

She still wanted to be best friends so we are. She has put more effort into our friendship since we broke up than she did our relationship. She messages me quite a lot.

A few days after we broke up she met this guy in a new city and started going on dates with him. It feels really weird that she could move on that fast and say she had still loved me as a boyfriend at the end of the relationship. It just hurts idk. I just don’t understand why she didn’t put it in effort at the end of our relationship, but said she loved me as a boyfriend, but then is now putting in effort with a new temporary one. She says it’s temporary, she’s only in the city for a month and it’s in another country. She’s also told her parents about the guy so idk if that’s true either but they are also just close.

I know in myself that I only want her as a friend from now on and never want to get back with her, but the fact she just didn’t put effort into our relationship just hurts, and then wants to put a lot of effort in with a new guy. She refused to put in the effort to have 5 minute phone calls with me but puts in effort to have dates with some guy she just met. Idk I just don’t understand it.

I know I deserve better as a girlfriend in the future, I have already been told that by everyone in my life considering how much effort she put into our relationship. I deserve someone who puts effort in. Idk I’m just sad and have no one to vent to.

This isn’t spam also mod team, I’m posting again because I didn’t click the read the rules app

I’m amab, 20. I’ve always kind of identified with trans people, or wanted to be a girl. Me and my girlfriend broke up a few days ago and now I’m really questioning it. She’s still my best friend so I’m not that hurt by it, it was quite amicable. I’ve always consumed trans content on social media and identified with it.

The thing is I love being a boy. I like how I look and I like how my body looks, but whenever I see a girl I just want to look like that.

I don’t really know how to explain it. I also love how I look wearing woman’s clothing however. It’s making it really hard to know who I am. I just get along better with girls too. Idk I just identify a lot more with them.

How did you realise you all were trans. I’m finding it really hard. I always have.