I really was going good on this for 3 years and almost 3 months in except everything else was going out of the structure. This one too got broken on 28th February 2026. And Relapsed 3 times in May this year. Except for Arsenal winning the League, the rest of the year I am washed out. Feeling guilt and shame. Intensely.
I need help processing a sexual experience from my past that still causes me shame, guilt, confusion, and regret.
When I was younger, I was sexually abused/coerced by a boy who was senior to me. I still know him today. At the time, there was blackmail and pressure involved, and I don’t think I fully understood or processed what was happening. Some sexual acts happened, including being told to perform oral acts, kissing/licking his genitals, being naked, and physical sexual contact.
Part of my confusion is that I don’t know whether I wanted any of it or whether I was just pressured, scared, or trying to comply. I think he may have believed I enjoyed it, and he seems to have moved on from it, but I still carry intense shame, regret, guilt, and intrusive thoughts about it.
I also struggle with thoughts that I am “not a virgin anymore,” and this affects how I see myself emotionally and psychologically.
I was 11 and 12 years old at that time and he was 13 years old I think.
I'm a male 23. I need help processing a sexual experience from my past that still causes me shame, guilt, confusion, and regret.
When I was younger, I was sexually abused/coerced by a boy who was senior to me. I still know him today. At the time, there was blackmail and pressure involved, and I don’t think I fully understood or processed what was happening. Some sexual acts happened, including being told to perform oral acts, kissing/licking his genitals, being naked, and physical sexual contact.
Part of my confusion is that I don’t know whether I wanted any of it or whether I was just pressured, scared, or trying to comply. I think he may have believed I enjoyed it, and he seems to have moved on from it, but I still carry intense shame, regret, guilt, and intrusive thoughts about it.
I also struggle with thoughts that I am “not a virgin anymore,” and this affects how I see myself emotionally and psychologically.
I need help processing a sexual experience from my past that still causes me shame, guilt, confusion, and regret.
When I was younger, I was sexually abused/coerced by a boy who was senior to me. I still know him today. At the time, there was blackmail and pressure involved, and I don’t think I fully understood or processed what was happening. Some sexual acts happened, including being told to perform oral acts, kissing/licking his genitals, being naked, and physical sexual contact.
Part of my confusion is that I don’t know whether I wanted any of it or whether I was just pressured, scared, or trying to comply. I think he may have believed I enjoyed it, and he seems to have moved on from it, but I still carry intense shame, regret, guilt, and intrusive thoughts about it.
I also struggle with thoughts that I am “not a virgin anymore,” and this affects how I see myself emotionally and psychologically.
I am 23 male. When I was younger, I was sexually abused/ coerced by a boy who was senior to me. I still know him today. At the time, there was blackmail and pressure involved, and I don't think I fully understood or processed what was happening. Some sexual acts happened, including being told to perform oral acts, kissing/licking his genitals, being naked, and physical sexual contact.
Part of my confusion is that I don't know whether I wanted any of it or whether I was just pressured, scared, or trying to comply. I think he may have believed I enjoyed it, and he seems to have moved on from it, but I still carry intense shame, regret, guilt, and intrusive thoughts about it.
I also struggle with thoughts that I am "not a virgin anymore," and this affects how I see myself emotionally and psychologically.
I have so many questions.
Also suffering from OCD as well. I know that what happened to me is wrong. Back then I didn't know much about sexuality or consents. I'm a worried and traumatized.
I am 23 male. When I was younger, I was sexually abused/ coerced by a boy who was senior to me. I still know him today. At the time, there was blackmail and pressure involved, and I don't think I fully understood or processed what was happening. Some sexual acts happened, including being told to perform oral acts, kissing/licking his genitals, being naked, and physical sexual contact.
Part of my confusion is that I don't know whether I wanted any of it or whether I was just pressured, scared, or trying to comply. I think he may have believed I enjoyed it, and he seems to have moved on from it, but I still carry intense shame, regret, guilt, and intrusive thoughts about it.
I also struggle with thoughts that I am "not a virgin anymore," and this affects how I see myself emotionally and psychologically.
I have so many questions.
Also suffering from OCD as well. I know that what happened to me is wrong. Back then I didn't know much about sexuality or consents. I'm a worried and traumatized.
When I was younger, I was sexually abused/coerced by a boy who was senior to me. I still know him today. At the time, there was blackmail and pressure involved, and I don’t think I fully understood or processed what was happening. Some sexual acts happened, including being told to perform oral acts, kissing/licking his genitals, being naked, and physical sexual contact.
Part of my confusion is that I don’t know whether I wanted any of it or whether I was just pressured, scared, or trying to comply. I think he may have believed I enjoyed it, and he seems to have moved on from it, but I still carry intense shame, regret, guilt, and intrusive thoughts about it.
I also struggle with thoughts that I am “not a virgin anymore,” and this affects how I see myself emotionally and psychologically.
I can't be having relationships with any girl anymore. Even the one that I really like in future. He destroyed my life and he is living happily while I am the one carrying guilt shame after all he had done to me.
When I was younger, I was sexually abused/coerced by a boy who was senior to me. I still know him today. At the time, there was blackmail and pressure involved, and I don’t think I fully understood or processed what was happening. Some sexual acts happened, including being told to perform oral acts, kissing/licking his genitals, being naked, and physical sexual contact.
Part of my confusion is that I don’t know whether I wanted any of it or whether I was just pressured, scared, or trying to comply. I think he may have believed I enjoyed it, and he seems to have moved on from it, but I still carry intense shame, regret, guilt, and intrusive thoughts about it.
I also struggle with thoughts that I am “not a virgin anymore,” and this affects how I see myself emotionally and psychologically.
I have lost my life completely. Now I can't have a relationship with the girl I want. So fucked.
I need help processing a sexual experience from my past that still causes me shame, guilt, confusion, and regret.
When I was younger, I was sexually abused/coerced by a boy who was senior to me. I still know him today. At the time, there was blackmail and pressure involved, and I don’t think I fully understood or processed what was happening. Some sexual acts happened, including being told to perform oral acts, kissing/licking his genitals, being naked, and physical sexual contact.
Part of my confusion is that I don’t know whether I wanted any of it or whether I was just pressured, scared, or trying to comply. I think he may have believed I enjoyed it, and he seems to have moved on from it, but I still carry intense shame, regret, guilt, and intrusive thoughts about it.
I also struggle with thoughts that I am “not a virgin anymore,” and this affects how I see myself emotionally and psychologically.
I need help processing a sexual experience from my past that still causes me shame, guilt, confusion, and regret.
When I was younger, I was sexually abused/coerced by a boy who was senior to me. I still know him today. At the time, there was blackmail and pressure involved, and I don’t think I fully understood or processed what was happening. Some sexual acts happened, including being told to perform oral acts, kissing/licking his genitals, being naked, and physical sexual contact.
Part of my confusion is that I don’t know whether I wanted any of it or whether I was just pressured, scared, or trying to comply. I think he may have believed I enjoyed it, and he seems to have moved on from it, but I still carry intense shame, regret, guilt, and intrusive thoughts about it.
I also struggle with thoughts that I am “not a virgin anymore,” and this affects how I see myself emotionally and psychologically.
I have been sexually abused by a boy senior to me at that time. I know him still now. I was blackmailed but I don't know if I really wanted that: blowjob(porn video) but not until the cum but just put it in the mouth and told me to suck it, kissing the dick and licking it, becoming naked and rubbing my dick on his body. he really thought I enjoyed it. He must have moved on. I still carry the shame, regret and guilt. I think I am not a virgin anymore.
I didn't masturbate from 6th December 2022 till 28th February 2026. But since then it has been a disaster relapsing. I have an obsession around my sexuality and compulsive behaviours to remove the guilt or not the feel guilt after doing the activity (say masturbation) but I still feel guilty and ashamed afterwards. I Relapsed four times this year. One of them I didn't mean to. And the second and third were compulsions (the second one: to alleviate anxiety and third: to see if I orgasm and feel guilty or not) and felt guilty and fourth to the thought "who cares?" And felt guilty again. I haven't masturbated for 1,181 days. I will still feel guilty even if I abstain for a year, 3 years or 4. I will still remember these dates. I have a feeling of contaminating people through talking and contaminating bikes while riding. Contaminating my dresses that I haven't even worn which I brought during the days of abstinence. Contaminating dance studios, my vocal cords and music. I have relapsed 4 times this year and it makes me even more guilty. Fear of facing girls and people in the gym. I am going through a lot. I did an exposure and Response prevention but it wasn't a planned one and still the guilt and shame doesn't go away. Masturbation may not be a universally bad thing but for me it is negatively impacting my day-to-day life.
Also, I have been sexually abused by a boy senior to me at that time. I know him still now. I was blackmailed but I don't know if I really wanted that: ||blowjob but not until the cum but just put it in the mouth and told me to suck it, kissing the dick and licking it, becoming naked and rubbing my dick on his body. he really thought I enjoyed it. He must have moved on. I still carry the shame, regret and guilt. I think I am not a virgin anymore.