u/Narrow-Bid-381

Hi yall! Aquarius here! I'm dating a virgo man with Sag moon, virgo Venus, and ​Libra mars. So I want someone to spill the tea for me! What should I expect? Who is he? especially if you have similar placements I'd love to hear more.

Our friend's birthday was a few days ago. We wanted to surprise her (me and another friend). We're a group of three that hang out a lotttt together. So I just casually said let's watch a movie tonight at my home. And then when she came, we surprised her with a cake and a gift.

Now here goes the tricky part. The birthday person (let's call them B), had been talking about wanting to host a party or celebrating a birthday for herself but she hadn't planned it out yet. And when we presented her with cake and gifts, she said "can we not eat the cake today so I can take (instagram friendly) photos with it with?" [Cuz she was just wearing casual clothing and had no makeup at the time].

We both agreed. But we somehow felt weird too. I can't quite explain even why. It's not like that I'm upset. It's her birthday after all and her day. I'm totally fine to abide to whatever that person wants for one day in a year. But again, something doesn't fit in my mind about her reaction. I'm hoping for someone to just explain to me what happened, or what it looks like from an outsider's perspective.

Location: USA

Major: bioengineering

Field: protein engineering, computational biochemistry, cheminformatics, medicinal chemistry

When everyone was saying aquarius never commits or they are detached, I was never getting it. After all I have a Capricorn Venus. But I'm 28 now (female), and I honestly deep down don't like to commit. I'm okay with not even having a sexual partner for my life time. ​it's like my relationships ruin my friendships. And having a few platonic friends who have your back is much more appealing to me than having a life-long partner. My only worry is that once those friends get into a relationship, our friendship won't stay the same. And also, if they have intentions beyond friendship, jealousy might get in the way and I end up with male friends who don't like each other.

I don't know how to deal with this feeling.

I can't express enough how much I'm into enemies to lovers theme. It's like my love language is arguing to the hell with each other and at the same time flirting in between.

Is this an aquarius thing? That you like to show your don't give a f*** to others, so you show your feelings by giving an actual f*** to someone you care about? Like when someone makes a mess, you're the first person who shows up for them because you care so much, but you also tear them apart for making such a mess.

So I can't be with people who cry in this situation. I love people who argue back strongly. It's like my favorite dance is fencing.

It's been a month. I honestly thought he would reach out to me. Because that's what he told me when we broke up. He said let's think more about it and talk another time. Now I know people usually say these things to make the final goodbye moment less awkward.

I can't say my feelings for him are completely over. But I've thought about alm the aspects, analyzed everything, and i can certainly say there isn't anything that i haven't analyzed about our relationship and the breakup. And even though I liked him, I was suffocating in that relationship.

I started dating again this week once I made up my mind about my ex. I found out what are the things that I'm looking for in a partner. What went wrong previously and stuff like that.

We just had our first date and he expressed his interest to continue talking more. I'm trying to take it super slow, to get to know him before getting emotions much involved.

For every one out there: it gets easier. Believe me. Don't settle for half-hearted love just because of history and memories. Mental health is very serious.

I have a friend who has very good characteristics. But there is one thing about her that bothers me a lot, and I don't even understand why she does it. And that's that she tells lots of white lies.

Today for example, I wanted to visit her. And she's living in an area that has assigned parkings for each unit. She doesn't own a car, so when I visit her I park in her spot. But when we got there today, someone else had parked in her spot.

She sent a photo of the car on their apartments' group chat, so if someone has mistakenly parked there can move the vehicle before she calls for it to be ticketed.

And here goes the white lie: instead of saying something like "someone has parked in my spot. I appreciate if you can move it" (she didn’t even need to explain why). She goes "I'm waiting here in my car because someone has taken my spot,...".

It might be a very small thing. But she does it very often. I never understand her. And it makes me not be able to trust her even though I've known her for a long time.

I'm constantly working, and it never ends or gets easier. You build more skills, and then you're given more and harder tasks. Actually I accept them, but I can't say no in this job market. I need a good resume. But I'm exhausted. I'm truly exhausted. I need to shut my mind just for a second. And I can't. The moment I sit to relax, I remember there is something I need to do.

It's been two weeks since we broke up. I thought I've moved on. Because I had accepted that that relationship was not healthy. He was controlling and insecure. we were fighting every week. we were exhausted.

I knew I didn't want to date. But I installed a dating app with fake account just to see what's out there.

And now I miss him. I try to think rationally about the times he had made me walk on eggshells. But I just can't think of having sex with anyone other than him. Not that he's a bodybuilder super attractive guy that I'm just attracted to his looks. It's just that my heart can't accept anyone else.

I remember in all my last relationships, when I broke up, and installed app, even though i didn't start dating until months after, just looking at available people gave me some excitement and feeling of "To the hell with him!"

I didn’t get this feeling this time, to my surprise! And it's not even that I don't see his flaws clearly, but I still miss him, and my heart wants him back, even though my mind says "it's wrong".

I won't contact him anyway. Just wanted to share my feelings.

UPDATE: I was just scrolling, and then it happened. He was there. On the dating app. I didn’t know what to feel. I didn’t know what it meant. I couldn't think clearly. I just told myself "you don't need to have all the answers right now". And kept living my normal life...

We have a hiking group that I'm the organizer of. We started small and then invited more and more people to it.

Now, there is this girl, who had previously picked up a fight with me and cut ties. She never explained why. She just blocked me and went from close friend to someone who doesn't even say hi to me when we see each other. Let's call her A.

Now my other friend B, is also very close to A. In fact, A is friends with everyone else other than me in that group, but she's closer to B.

Now one day, B just adds A to our hiking group. I just don't know what to do. A shows up to the hikes (that again, I organize), proceeds to ignore me (not saying hi), and even though i didn't have an issue with it. It makes me mad that I can't set a boundary for myself. I feel trapped, always accepting the desires of others. I feel resentment because I'm always the one whose needs is dismissed. And I don't blame them, it's me who allows it. Who has no boundaries. Who people please.

How can I fix this situation now? I don’t want to be rude. But I really don't want to welcome her to our hikes. I like to set my boundaries clearly.

I (28F) am reflecting on our fights, post breakup. There was one time that my friend came to my house suddenly. Like she just knocked on the door without letting me know earlier that she's coming. I texted my LDR bf (36M) "I have a guest". Then I went ahead and made tea and stuff and didn't check my phone. Around one hour later I checked my phone, and saw that he has asked "who is it?" I replied "it's my friend [name of friend]. She'll be going now and I'll come and tell you the story once she leave".

But then I come back, to realize my bf has been super upset that I haven't replied his text, and that why in the first place I didn't say the name of my friend and just said "i have a guest".

I told him it's okay and I didn't know it would make you anxious, but now I know, and it's not hard for me to let you know the name of the person from now on. I just genuinely didn't think that would upset you and I'm sorry. But he goes "no you shouldn't change yourself. It's my fault that always tell you who I'm with. I should act just like you too. Cause that's the normal thing".

I just can't make my head around it. I know people usually tell me you're nonchalant and too independent and that you don't care. But I also think after me accepting to reassure him, why did he say that? Why didn't he just say "thanks, i appreciate it."? I can't decide whether i was inconsiderate or not, and i just don't know to which extent you should involve your partner in your life. This is just one example.

Tl;dr

I had a guest and didn't tell my partner who that is until after she left. He got upset. What's the healthy behavior here?

It's been a week since we broke up. I still can't decide whether I want him in my life for long term or not. There were things that made us both tired. I don't even have energy to think clearly. It's like I'm coming home from a long battle. I think about solutions. But I'm just tired. I wish we could just sleep together and forget everything else. But I know it's not realistic. I miss telling him about my day. Like I have some juicy tea to tell him and I can imagine us laughing about it. But some things have broken my heart. I need a long hug, rest, a day where I could just turn off my mind.

At this point I've let go of everything. I care about us, but I want a love that comes to me, that doesn't require me to wear and tear. Something sweet and easy. But life has been so harsh for both of us. I can't decide whether his presence was making my life smoother or harder. But I miss him anyway. ​

During the day, I'm convinced that I did the right thing to break up with them. That our relationship couldn't work out. And that if it was to work out it couldn't be by my own effort only. It required accountability and effort on both sides. So I go to sleep totally calm and in peace.

But god, i don't know why mornings are so heavy. It's like my mind is reset and I just feel the missing and longing and I can't remember why I did what I did.

How do you deal with mornings? I haven't gone to work on time since our breakup and it's taking a toll on my job.

+ it's been one week since breakup. We've been together for 8 months.

+ we were in a LDR and it just couldn't continue because of our financial situation right now. But it wasn't definitely the only reason. The love is still there, on both sides, but real life needs more than love.

I've never had too close friends in my life. When I go through hardships, I mostly hide it and keep it to myself. I don't even tell everything to my therapist.

Because of that, I always have a sense of loneliness and desire for partnership. My partner becomes the only person I can talk my heart too.

I like to have close friends. I actually have many friends and consider myself a social person. But I appear as someone who has no problems. Who never cries. Who's very strong and independent and deals with everything like it's easy.

And I keep thinking that maybe I should change myself. Maybe I should trust people with my pain. Maybe I should talk about it. Maybe I should build close friendships. But I just can't. I've broken up with my boyfriend and I can't tell my friends yet. And once I feel comfortable to tell them, it's when my pain is already over. And even then, I won't tell the whole truth.

Is this because of my sun sign? Why am I like this?

We've been together for 8 months (28 F - 36 M). We had some conflicts and he didn't seem happy, so we mutually decided to break up and give each other some time to think thoroughly.

I texted him the same evening (after ~10h) and said "should we talk more? Or should we just give up?" He said "if we want to talk let's give each other some more time. Also I think some things are not solvable." I agreed and said yeah I don't want temporary solutions too.

It's been two days since. And this afternoon I reached out again and said "what if we make some more mistakes until we don't? (I was referring to previous discussions where he had told it's useless if it keeps happening again and again)," i also added that i miss him.

He replied "I'm a human too. Let's give it more time. Not texting each other"

I said okay.

And I feel very bad about what I did. I guess I just want to know if what I did is considered crossing boundaries or not.

Tl;dr: I texted my bf after we had decided to give each other time to think more thoroughly. And I feel very bad about it. Did I cross boundaries?

I (28 F) just broke up with my boyfriend (36 M). It was a casual call. He said I'm not feeling good in this relationship. Mostly because the long distance part is bothering me. I suggested maybe we should break up, because it bothers me to see your suffering as well. So we agreed to break up. And that was it. He said we should call another time to straighten our finances, and also just think for a while. I agreed. And that was it.

I didn't beg him to stay. We didn't say anything emotionally charged words. It hurts to know he won't be around anymore. But it was also hurting so much to see his suffering everyday.

I don't know what's next. I will miss him a lot. I already do. But at the same time, I have no hopes that this will work. Like I have no hopes that he will get back to me and say let's try again. Let's do something. We can't solve the long distance part anytime soon.

I'm just writing here to put this off my chest. I don't want to tell my friends yet. Thanks for listening.

Tl;dr we broke up. That's it.

I'm an aqua sun, and have come to realize recently that I'm surrounded by cancer and scorpio suns. I don't know why, but we just match immediately like magnets.

The best thing I like about these signs is that I feel they express themselves unapologetically. Plus, they do the talking while I just enjoy their presence and it's like I'm a fire stuck into a shell of ice, which my cancer and scorpio friends melt my ice shell somehow, and make me able to express my deeper side easier.​

But interestingly, I found out that it might also be because my Mars is in Pisces, which makes me someone deeply caring, and not as detached as other aquarius suns.

Sending you love and would be interesting to hear your side of story as well!

I (28 F) was on a day trip for work, to a city that is 1 hour drive. On the way back, i texted my boyfriend (36 M) that I'm heading back home, when I started driving. And then when I got home, I texted him I'm home. He didn’t see my text until around 30 min later, when he got home (he was out with a friend).

When he called, I told him "I'm a bit mad at you. Because your girlfriend has been on road, and you didn't seem to think if she arrived safe or not"

He waited for a bit to reply. Then said "but I was out with my friend. And i had told you to take care when we said goodbye last we talked (we talked on phone before he goes out with his friend)."

I said "you're right. It's solved in my mind now"

But he was upset and had a fuss a bit for the rest of our call and didn't talk much and then said "Can we say goodbye? (We usually keep the call on while we sleep, and he wanted to say goodnight earlier, because he was upset)".

I hesitated a bit. He said "it bothers me when we don't talk but keep the call on and you look at me."

I said " It's just makes my heart warm when I see you. I see on your face that something in your head bothers you though."

He said "but you being there doesn't help"

I said "I know. And i can't help if I don't know what's on your mind. But I don't also want to be intruding asking constantly 'why you upset'. And i don't even know if it's about me or something else. But again, it just feels good for me to see you; even though i know my presence doesn't help"

He said "You KNEW I was out with my friend (referring to our earlier conversation)"

I said "Yes I knew. it's just about the stories that we tell ourselves. And when I heard your version of story I calmed down and I thought 'yes it makes sense'. But before hearing that I was a bit mad. Because I had driven a 1 hour drive in 1:40 minutes, because of a crash on road, and it went unnoticed. I thought to myself 'if I was in that crash, he wouldn't have noticed'. And my baseline was already mad, because of waiting so long in traffic."

He said "okay I understand. But it still bothers me when we don't talk and keep the call on"

I said "okay I understand too. we can say goodnight"

And then we pro​ceded to say goodnight. And he had frowns during all this conversation.

And I'm just a bit worried. It's not our first fight, so i kinda know he will reach out when he feels better. But I don't know if it's should have brought the issue up in the first place or not. I just think I ruined an otherwise good night with an small annoyance that I could keep to myself. We've been dating for less than a year.

tl;dr I complained to my boyfriend about not checking on whether I arrived home safely after a drive to a close city. and then we had a small fight and now I wonder if I shouldn't have brought it up at all.