u/Natural-Grade-4897

I genuinely get so nervous around people now. People get annoyed/bothered at the dumbest shit possible, and I can’t trust people at all. I get so nervous because at the drop of a hat people can just start yelling/belittling. I NEVER take it personally. People can think I’m annoying idgaf. But i genuinely just get so drained never knowing if someone is going to switch up on me. It’s not that i take it personally, it’s genuinely just draining because it makes the job way more difficult than it has to be.

Had a boomer come in today. I work at a hotel. It was my first night alone. We put a card on a room for incidentals.. it will show up as pending on your bank app sometimes but it won’t actually get charged unless it’s used. I told the guest this…I said ,” You shouldn’t get charged for it.” She said “Okay” and went to her room. She comes back livid… “MY CARD GOT CHARGED $100!!!!!!! YOU SAID IT WOULDN’T GET CHARGED!!!!!!” I genuinely was baffled because I just repeated what I had heard one of my coworkers say, so I genuinely had no idea what to say. I just said ,” Okay I understand, would you like to speak to my manager?” She just repeated the same thing again about being charged. I said the same thing back. And then it continued a couple more times until finally she said she would be okay with talking to my manager. The manager then explained it was my first solo day and that I’m still learning some things and explained that it may show up as pending on your banks end but it won’t actually go through unless I authorize it or something like that. The call ended and all of a sudden she was like a different person…She all of a sudden was nice to me…I just said okay have a nice night! (I’m not the type to argue, I find it extremely annoying and unfruitful. I just like to find solutions.) like I get why she would be frustrated if she genuinely thought her card was charged, but there is absolutely no need to yell or have a tone..it just escalates things and makes things worse/more stressful for the person trying to handle the situation. So yeah, in all my years of customer service, I genuinely have had such a difficult time with that generation. Not every single one of them, But that generation always somehow wants some sort of discount, or comes in with entitlement, or just wants to argue about something because they find it entertaining.

I have a couple of clients that I clean for on the side. One of them is amazing, and I love cleaning for them. The other I feel she is taking advantage of me, and I’m also a people pleaser so not a good combo….i charge her a 120 flat rate. I also told her if the basement is added I will charge 150, but she said 120 is fine and if I know you do stuff in the basement, some things won’t get done upstairs. So I said that’s fine. Well today she added the fridge in her garage on top of the maintenance cleaning. This is what she said

“Can you focus upstairs and make time to clean out the fridge in the garage. Don’t need to take stuff out of the shelves in the door. Just clean off the shelves in the fridge.”

I’m not sure the state of that fridge. But I probably should add a fee. What should I do? How much of a fee should it be?

Hey everyone I need some advice and would like some opinions. This is a longer read. If you don’t like reading then this is not for you lol!!😆 I just need to give context and back stories so I can get the best advice.

Like the title says I just started a new job. I work at a hotel. I absolutely have loved the job a lot so far. I like the work, and I love making people feel welcome.

I currently just finished my fourth day training. However, the lady that is training me is giving me mixed emotions. The typical bi-polar co worker. She is not approachable and generally not very nice. The first couple of days she was nice to me, but now some of the things she has said to me the last couple of days are starting to add up.

On the first day I was there she said ,”I was training one lady and she got mad at me because I was doing my own thing and she got mad at me because I wasn’t standing over her shoulder.” I said ,”oh, well some of the work is self explanatory so I’m not sure why she said that.” Because at THE TIME it was. Making sure breakfast is stocked, cleaning etc. So I guess that’s what I thought she meant? I don’t know. But yeah. The first day or two I was there she was friendly with ME and was talking with me and good at keeping a conversation. (I’ll get back to this story later)

However, the first day I was there I did notice she did not have a friendly tone with the public. And she was very passive aggressive towards people and had little to no patience. One foreign guy walked in and didn’t know the make of his vehicle. When he ran outside to go check she turned to me and said “who the fuck doesn’t know the make of their vehicle?” I said ,”well maybe it’s a company vehicle.” And she didn’t respond. I felt bad for him because I could tell English was not his first language. And I could tell he was getting insecure because of his accent too. She kept on telling him to say certain things again but in a rude way and I felt so bad.

She also would take phone calls and would have no patience and talk to people in rude tones. As well as shake her head and roll her eyes at almost every phone call, even while people were in the lobby.

One girl came up, probably 13 or 14 and she was super sweet. She said,”Hey could I get access to my room again, I just checked out but I think I forgot my phone in there.” The lady that was training me just looked at her in the face with a dead pan stare, and said nothing, then started getting the key. Then the little girl just kept talking because I could tell she was getting insecure as well and nervous. So I spoke up and said ,”Don’t worry about it, we’ll get it going for you!” She said thank you and I could tell she was relieved and started to relax. When the girl left to grab her phone the lady training me looked at me with her head shaking and said “Why the fuck does she need a phone. She’s like fucking eight years old.” I said nothing at all because I was just annoyed. But she said this in front of customers.

Another instance she was rude to someone checking in. The lady training me was eating food in front of the customer and wiping her nose with her hand and sniffling while taking a bite of the food she was eating. The lady who was checking in looked at the person training me wide eyed and kind of rolled her eyes a bit. Then the lady who was training me proceeded to talk to the woman in a passive aggressive manner and a rude tone.

Today however, the lady training me was rude to me. She wasn’t talking much and was telling other people she was grumpy today because she didn’t sleep well because people were asking her what was her problem. Well today I took a phone call and needed help because it’s my 4th day on the job. I asked her a question and I proceed to tell her what was going on. And in a rude nasty tone she goes “WHO IS IT? WHATS HER NAME?” So I figured it out, but she ended up helping me then walking away when I was on the computer because the lady I was speaking with on the phone was taking a bit to get her card information. I could see the lady training me in the corner of my eye shaking her head and rolling her eyes then yeah, she just walked away when I didn’t know what I was doing, because the phone call was taking a bit longer. I ended up having to call her back over anyways because like I said, I didn’t know what I was doing.

Today she also got mad at me because we needed to do something that required us to be away from the front desk. She looked at me and gave the phone to me and said to me in a rude tone ,”You NEED to start taking the phone with you everywhere you go!!” I was annoyed because i genuinely thought she was going to grab it. She could have just told me, “hey don’t forget to grab the phone.” Nicely. But she didn’t. She was very passive aggressive and rude.

During these four days I’ve been there she has not given me good instructions on what she is doing and why. I do ask, but there are some things I’m afraid I’m missing because sometimes she does stuff without telling me and leaves me alone. (This goes back to the story she was telling me on my first day, and now it makes sense what that other lady was telling me, so I don’t blame that one person.)

My question is :Should I tell the manager? He is a very nice and patient guy, however him and this lady get a long well but she also acts nice around him. She also gets along with the other co workers and they joke around with her and she jokes back. My hesitation is I don’t want him to think I’m trying to start drama or gossip and then I end being the one fired because I do know some people who say ,”Well she’s just like that.” And then I’m afraid of him telling her what I said then starting drama. Is it too early to say something? Should I inform him of the things I’ve been seeing/experiencing? Another thing is, she has been there for five years.

I got radically saved when I was about 17. Im thankful, because God found me and led me to the Gospel and I got saved and transformed.

Over the years I’ve come across a lot of believers and I even went to a Bible college for 2.5 years. These are some of the things I witnessed.

1- some Christians are VERY judgy. Like really bad. I got shamed for my past multiple, multiple times, and it wounded me. It made me feel broken and beyond repair and unlovabe (I have healed from this)

2- The Christian cliches….gosh. Especially when you are deeply struggling with something and all you want is someone to just comfort you or be there for you and the worst sayings someone can say to you as your sharing with them just life things is :”Just pray about it.” “Have you been in your word?” One of the worst is : blank stare “maybe you should just read the bible.” I get the meaning behind these, but it genuinely just feels like a cop-out for not being able to handle emotions.

3. Purity culture….its so toxic.

4. The “I’m better than you attitude’s “ this one really got to me. Those homeschooled kids or kids who were constantly immersed in the Bible 24/8 and “knew everything” about the Bible.. or the people who saved themselves for marriage and bragged about it to make someone feel bad.

5. Treating non-believers like projects. I feel like i came across this a lot. A lot of people I knew would become “friends” with non believers and instantly start talking about God unnaturally, and force it upon people. I get it, we want and desire for people to be saved, but genuinely be friends with someone and let those conversations come naturally.

____________________

I also want to add, not every Christian acts like this. But I have come across a lot of Christians that do. I realize not everyone will agree with these points and I’m probably going to get hate, but if this helps one person, just know you’re not alone with the hurts that come from the toxic parts of Christian culture.

I’m gonna make this a long story short as possible. But basically there were boundaries that my in laws crossed, we tried to confront them but they got EXTREMELY offended and then ended up trashing my name and said I was behind all of it. I even got called demonic by my husbands grandpa and my husbands grandpa said that my husband needed to free himself from me. His parents also said behind my back that I was controlling, manipulative, and that they were concerned for my husband well-being🙄🙄 (my husbands sister was telling me what they were saying about me because she still lives with them, that’s how we knew what they were saying about me)we tried to call them out for it and said we know they were saying these things but gaslit and lied to us and said they could NEVER think those things about me.

Classic in law bs.

We ended up reaching out to a family counselor and even the counselor said they lied and were very controlling and manipulative people. The counselor also spoke with them as well. That’s why he said that.

Anyways my husband reached out to his parents after about 6 months of no contact because he missed his siblings that still lives with his parents, and obviously his parents wanted to see my husband.

I told him I want nothing to do with them if they can’t ever admit they did anything wrong and apologize to me. I don’t trust them. I also can’t control what he chooses to do with his parents because he’s his own man. He makes his own choices and decisions.

Im very frustrated with the situation. Im frustrated that they still get what they want out of it, and they didnt apologize. they get to have access to just their son without me being in the picture, because at the end of the day thats obviously all they wanted. It feels wrong. Idk, do you think it’s appropriate for him to be around them with me not included? Am I wrong for feeling hurt about the fact they still get to see him despite everything? I do feel sad though because those are his parents, and it would suck to not have them. I don’t know. I’m just conflicted.

I specialize in deep cleaning homes. A true genuine deep clean, depending on the size of a home can take me like 40hrs. I know that sounds insane but I take my time and really do focus on details. I do a really good deep clean first, then maintain.

I have to drive 1 hour and 18 min to get to this house, I use my own supplies and the only thing I use from clients is a ladder for tall areas.

I was thinking about 1500 for the whole home, upstairs and downstairs. They also have a dog.

The client wanted me to quote them for upstairs only and then also for basement and upstairs. They don’t use the downstairs much is what the client told me.

I was thinking for the upstairs only to charge 1150 for the first deep clean?

Then for a maintenance clean she wanted just once a month. I was thinking about charging 450.

Any advice? Am I overcharging, am I undercharging?

I also already did a walkthrough of the home, there is some hardwater in the showers and faucets and they have matte black shower fixtures and bathroom fixtures. And in the kitchen. So yeah there’s that. But overall the house didn’t look too terrible.

Thanks!

Hey I need help with charging a deep clean price, I’ve posted in here before, but I just want to make sure I am pricing fairly. Tomorrow I am doing a walkthrough for a house that is 900 sq ft and the lady told me she has six cats.

If I decide to take her, obviously depending on the condition of her home, what would you guys charge? Again, this is a deep clean, and it will be thorough.

What would you charge if her home wasn’t in bad shape compared to if it was in really bad shape?

I will be doing a flat rate

Fame is just a lot of people knowing of your existence…it’s just odd to me. Idk.
I’ve always found it weird how some, not all, get unhealthily obsessive over celebrities…and treat them like they’re not humans.
I also find it odd that some celebrities have an ego that you can spot through a phone screen, and you can just see the pride because they know a lot of people know who they are. It’s icky to me. Because we are all equal.
Also there are average people walking around this world who are completely unknown to a lot of people that may even have more talent than some celebrities.
I’m not saying those people didn’t get famous for talent, but for some people I’m like why them?
Fame does not sound appealing to me either. When people say I want to get rich and famous, they don’t understand the weight of fame, they just want the money.
It would be scary to me, not knowing who may be watching me, or not knowing if I’m going to be photographed, or having bad moments documented for the world to see. Or having your dumb past mistakes resurfaced for the world to critique. That sounds terrifying.
I’ll stick with riches. I’d rather not ever be famous.

Yeah, so the title says it.

But It’s happened to me twice now. I’ll kind of just stop putting effort into a friendship if it feels one sided.

Then I’ll get a text like basically a year later from them

Them:“Hey! How are you”

Me:”Great how are you?”

Them:”Good, I have something to tell you!”

Me:”oh let me guess you’re pregnant.”

Them:” yes!” *sends scan*

I am very happy for them at the end of the day, but not happy that it’s been almost a year since we’ve talked and the only reason you reach out to me is to tell me you’re pregnant. Yeah. No. I don’t appreciate it.

Edit***

Both of these friendships were one sided and It was just me constantly reaching out. Sending the “hey how are you” texts or “let’s call” or “let’s hang out.” And they never reciprocated the same energy back. So I eventually gave up even after discussing the issue with them. Both of these people reached out to me after basically a year of no talking at all. To me it felt weird because it’s like yeah cool you’re pregnant, and I’m happy for you. But these people never reached out again after that. They just wanted the congratulations text it felt like if that makes sense.

*CONTENT WARNING-I WILL BE DISCUSSING EATING DISORDERS**

I think recently with seeing Hollywood shrink, and my lifelong insecurities-my brain just won’t shut off the insecurity and extreme fear of getting fat..

It all started with growing up. My mom would constantly critique our weight. All of her kids were healthy, but she had an extreme obsession with us not getting fat.

I once was asking her to help button up my pants when I was probably 7 or 8, and she told me ,” You need to lose weight, you’re getting fat.” And it was all because I drank water and my stomach wasn’t perfectly flat.

She also was the type to only give us like a tblsp of syrup on our pancakes, and we RARELY ever had sweets in the cupboard. We just didn’t grow up with a lot of sweets.

I remember in kindergarten wanting to lose weight and looking up different ways I could. I just feel so sad for my child-self. I want to wrap her up in my arms and tell her she’s beautiful and doesn’t need to worry about that.

My father on the other hand was a different story. He is obese and has a binge eating disorder. So we grew up with two extremes…

My mom also critiqued other peoples bodies growing up and would ask us if her legs looked like some random obese women’s legs in a store. (Bully type stuff)

I remember in highschool I would lose weight naturally when I did cross country and then I would gain the weight back during the winter because I wasn’t exercising and she would look at me up and down, and say ,” are you gaining weight? I can tell you have.”

She also would say ,”If you continue eating the way you do, you’re gonna be huge when you get older. You need to fix your eating habits!” And man…it messed me up so bad.

I’ve struggled with eating disorders off and on (thank God never for long periods of time) and I haven’t struggled with one in a year or so, but I stay away from starving myself because I’m terrified of all the negative consequences..which is a good thing. Anorexia is a death sentence and there’s so much more to life than trying to achieve a skeleton look.

But it’s the voice in my head that gets me, and the body checking every time I look in a mirror. I’m suffering. And that’s what it is. All I can hear is my mom’s voice.

My MIL was extremely triggering for me. (We are currently no contact for other reasons. Not her ED.) But she was and is extremely thin. When I first met her, it scared me because of how thin she was.

She would skip meals, or put very little on her plate , and I just couldn’t. I would cry in my husbands arms in the bathroom of their house because how badly I was triggered. Also my husbands family is naturally VERY thin and I just have a lot more muscle mass then them. So that was triggering for me too.

I’m glad I’m not around her anymore because she was awful for my mental heath…

But yeah…it’s the voice in my head that I hate. It’s terrible.. I just need encouragement.

Dude, frosting is so underrated. I’ll eat a tub of it😂
I always am like 🫪when someone says the frosting is too sweet then they set it off to the side.

I’m sure this is a common issue within cleaners with what I’ll talk about, but I’m trying to start my cleaning business. I specialize in deep cleaning and I work my butt off. Currently started off with a couple of clients and just added on a new one. The newest one I did I charged $200 for a four hour cleaning which is basically 50 an hour because we’re gonna stop at four hours.

On of the clients I just cleaned for, she gave me 200. When I got to her house, I didn’t realize the extent of pet hair that would be everywhere, (yes I did a walkthrough and yes I’m sure you all have realized once you start cleaning sometimes it’s worse than you thought.)and it ended up clogging up my vacuum. So I said afterwards, that I would go up to 250 next time for the pet hair, and it took me way longer than I originally thought solely for that reason, and unfortunately she dropped me.

But yeah, I just was a little frustrated because when it comes to cleaners, I feel people tend to cheap out and think it’s ridiculous for pricing. But a lot of us bust our butts off and really take our time to make a home feel clean and fresh again.

It is a part of business though. People come and go.

I’ve done a lot of work on myself these past years. I’ve come so far in my mental health journey..but fuck man..shit has been getting to me lately I think. Idk I feel so numb.. it’s weird.

But anyways, I’m currently married and genuinely have such a strong marriage..but we had some in law trouble on my husband’s side. I’m not gonna go into the details but he basically stood up for me because his parents and family were being absolute assholes to me and they pinned everything on me. Called me controlling, manipulating, selfish, and said they were concerned for my husband’s well being. Typical monster in laws…his grandpa also said I had a demon in me and that my husband needed to free himself from me. Which was just absolutely disgusting. Coming from someone who calls themselves a “Christian”. No wonder people don’t want anything to do with Christianity…anyways… we ended up speaking with a family counselor and the counselor also spoke to my husbands parents and the counselor said ,”yeah they’re manipulative and controlling, and I caught them lying.”

So yeah, all that’s been going on. I also moved 7 hours away from my family because there was better opportunity where my husband lived than me so I’m very far away from my family through all of this. But they have been supportive and have helped me through it.

I’ve tried making friends over here the past couple of years but it’s honestly been so difficult. I’ve been ghosted many times, and it genuinely just makes me feel like a piece of shit and making me wonder if there is something wrong with just me as an individual. It makes me insecure. Maybe I am too much, maybe my personality is too strong, maybe I’m just a fucking bitch. But I try to not dwell on those thoughts because deep down I know they are not fundamentally true…like ive said, I’ve done a lot of work on myself…

I also am trying to start a cleaning business but it’s so hard to start a business. It can get depressing…I’ve also been rejected so many times by people or completely ghosted but that’s just a part of the business. But it opens up a feeling of rejection within myself like it’s a me problem. It’s so frustrating. I’ve gone through three jobs moving here in the last two years because of good reason. Not just because I don’t like the jobs.

I also have gone through multiple miscarriages within the past year and a half and it’s just terrible…

But with everything with in laws,failed friendships, starting a business and miscarriages I just feel lonely. I love my husband, but it would be so nice to have another female friend. Someone who can understand me. I just want someone I can hangout with and get my nails done with and laugh my ass off with. But I don’t currently. I do have a couple friends who are long distance, but I don’t see them often but I am incredibly grateful for what I do have with them.

One of my long distance friends just had a baby though, so it’s incredibly painful to see her with her newborn…

With everything I’ve gone through it’s starting to get to me..but I just feel so numb and like idgaf. But deep down I feel isolated, lonely and just idk..sad I guess..

I just came on here to get support and to just have at least something to encourage me…

I’ve done a lot of work on myself these past years. I’ve come so far in my mental health journey..but fuck man..shit has been getting to me lately I think. Idk I feel so numb.. it’s weird.

But anyways, I’m currently married and genuinely have such a strong marriage..but we had some in law trouble on my husband’s side. I’m not gonna go into the details but he basically stood up for me because his parents and family were being absolute assholes to me and they pinned everything on me. Called me controlling, manipulating, selfish, and said they were concerned for my husband’s well being. Typical monster in laws…his grandpa also said I had a demon in me and that my husband needed to free himself from me. Which was just absolutely disgusting. Coming from someone who calls themselves a “Christian”. No wonder people don’t want anything to do with Christianity…anyways… we ended up speaking with a family counselor and the counselor also spoke to my husbands parents and the counselor said ,”yeah they’re manipulative and controlling, and I caught them lying.”

So yeah, all that’s been going on. I also moved 7 hours away from my family because there was better opportunity where my husband lived than me so I’m very far away from my family through all of this. But they have been supportive and have helped me through it.

I’ve tried making friends over here the past couple of years but it’s honestly been so difficult. I’ve been ghosted many times, and it genuinely just makes me feel like a piece of shit and making me wonder if there is something wrong with just me as an individual. It makes me insecure. Maybe I am too much, maybe my personality is too strong, maybe I’m just a fucking bitch. But I try to not dwell on those thoughts because deep down I know they are not fundamentally true…like ive said, I’ve done a lot of work on myself…

I also am trying to start a cleaning business but it’s so hard to start a business. It can get depressing…I’ve also been rejected so many times by people or completely ghosted but that’s just a part of the business. But it opens up a feeling of rejection within myself like it’s a me problem. It’s so frustrating. I’ve gone through three jobs moving here in the last two years because of good reason. Not just because I don’t like the jobs.

I also have gone through multiple miscarriages within the past year and a half and it’s just terrible…

But with everything with in laws,failed friendships, starting a business and miscarriages I just feel lonely. I love my husband, but it would be so nice to have another female friend. Someone who can understand me. I just want someone I can hangout with and get my nails done with and laugh my ass off with. But I don’t currently. I do have a couple friends who are long distance, but I don’t see them often but I am incredibly grateful for what I do have with them.

One of my long distance friends just had a baby though, so it’s incredibly painful to see her with her newborn…

With everything I’ve gone through it’s starting to get to me..but I just feel so numb and like idgaf. But deep down I feel isolated, lonely and just idk..sad I guess..

I just came on here to get support and to just have at least something to encourage me…

I know I’m just a stranger to all of you but I feel I have nowhere to go but I feel so lonely where I’m at in life now…

I’m a 23 year old female and I just feel so incredibly isolated..I’ve been married for two years. I have a great marriage btw and yes I know I got married young but that’s not the point of this post and not why I feel lonely. I love and adore my husband and the bond we have and he’s just so amazing.

I just feel so lonely because recently we’ve had problems with his parents. For about six months now…we had problems with them over petty stuff that they should have apologized for but took no accountability.

Well my husband ended up standing up for me through it all and then lo and behold they said I was behind all of it and called me ,controlling, manipulative, his grandparents said I had a demon in me, my husbands family even said they were concerned for my husbands well being etc..even though they have denied all of it..

With all that, and not having any friends where I’m at I can’t help but to feel so lonely…and that I’m worthless..and nobody cares about me.

I’ve gone through three jobs while being in this town and I finally have found something I could see myself being at..

I’ve tried to make friends but I end up being ghosted after asking them to hangout. Making friends is tough when you’re an adult tbh..and yes I have self reflected and asked myself if maybe there is something wrong with me..but I just always have tried to be nice and kind..that’s always my goal in life.

I’m probably depressed, but I still make sure I take care of myself by going outside and I’ve just recently got back onto exercising, but yeah.

I’m just lonely..and I’m tired of pretending I’m not.