u/No-Citron1972

*girl dinner was 4 extremely ripe peaches and was AMAZING

tw: talks of some DV

i come from a caribbean household, and it’s nothing but miserable. my parents shouldn’t be together, they should’ve never even gotten married, and i’m pretty sure they’re only still here bc of me (just an observation, i don’t blame myself for their unhappiness). i hate the yelling, the screaming, the borderline physical abuse that im forced to observe and do absolutely nothing about. i feel bad that my mom works so hard by herself to support our household while my dad drinks all day and becomes belligerent or goes to pick her up while drunk and there’s literally nothing i can do. i’ve trained myself from a very young age to just tune out their problems and to ignore it as best i can but they drag me on the middle of their arguments and fights. i don’t give a FUCK so why make me witness to all of it??? my dad talks to me and curses about my mom and i’m like wtf do you want me to do about it??? what good is it if i know? sometimes i wish i could just disappear so i dont have to deal with this constant stress and anxiety that being in this house gives me. i’m tired of using the soundproof option on my headphones but worrying if someone’s gonna throw a glass across the room. i’m tired of having to worry about my mom and her being safe in this house if im not here. i’m tired of having to placate my dad so he doesn’t stomp around and curse and scream and slam doors. i’m just so tired. i want to give up. i have one year left till i get my degree and that’s the only thing keeping me going. idk how ill make it out but ill die trying if i have too. i deserve something good, something peaceful. i want to experience life outside of being constantly on survival mode. i want to disappear into a peaceful life but im struggling with how to survive in the one i have now.

the color difference between these two photos was insane to me with this different lighting, it’s so important when determining what polish you buy.

sally hansen advanced hard as nails - 2 coats

OPI i’m a bubble bunny - 3 coats

Essie gel couture top coat - 1 coat

the color difference between these two photos was insane to me with this different lighting, it’s so important when determining what polish you buy.

sally hansen advanced hard as nails - 2 coats

OPI i’m a bubble bunny - 3 coats

Essie gel couture top coat - 1 coat

started growing my nails out around 3-4 months ago.

the first picture is from a few days who with two coats of manucurist active smooth 00.

second slide is my first ever at home manicure after i decided to take my nail growth seriously. i used sally handsome advanced hard as nails and some random nail stones i found.

i’m really proud of my progress!

started growing my nails out around 3-4 months ago.

the first picture is from a few days who with two coats of manucurist active smooth 00.

the second slide is my first ever at home manicure after i decided to take my nail growth seriously. its sally hansen advanced hard as nails with some nail gems!

i’m really proud of my progress!

chose this color in honor of my glorious knicks.

honestly don’t know if i’d ever wear this blue otherwise bc it’s so striking. it wore beautifully but i was always staring at my hands contemplating the color. it has grown on me tho i must say.

Manucurist Active Smooth 00 - 2 coats

LondonTown Iconic - 2 coats

Essie Gel Couture Top Coat - 1 coat

i have no idea how to really maximize my eyes even though i feel like they’re one of my best features.

i use a good mascara and i use a shimmer on the inner corner with black liner on the outer corners. i also usually do a baby wing but i feel like it’s not that noticeable or attractive on my eyes. any and all advice welcome!

first picture is without makeup, second is with light makeup.

tysm :)

manucurist active smooth - 2 coats

essie gel couture sheer fantasy - 3 coats

essie get couture top coat - 1 coat

essie gel couture have to be some of the best looking regular polishes ive ever used

manucurist active smooth 00 - 2 layers

ILNP coconut cream - 2 layers

essie gel couture top coat - 1 layer

ps. OPI funny bunny wish it could apply this smooth

did these at home after stopping hard gel, thought i’d share :)

wanted to try and layer some sheer polishes to see what i ended up with! it’s a lot of layers but i think it’s a super cute color.

Sally Hansen - Advanced Hard as Nails - 1 coat

Manucurist Active Smooth - 00 - 2 coats

Manucurist Active Glow - Blueberry - 4 coats

Essie Gel Couture - Top Coat - 1 coat

wanted to try and layer some sheer polishes to see what i ended up with! it’s a lot of layers but i think it’s a super cute color.

Sally Hansen - Advanced Hard as Nails - 1 coat

Manucurist Active Smooth - 00 - 2 coats

Manucurist Active Glow - Blueberry - 4 coats

Essie Gel Couture - Top Coat - 1 coat

wanted to try and layer some sheer polishes to see what i ended up with! it’s a lot of layers but i think it’s a super cute color.

Sally Hansen - Advanced Hard as Nails - 1 coat

Manucurist Active Smooth - 00 - 2 coats

Manucurist Active Glow - Blueberry - 4 coats

Essie Gel Couture - Top Coat - 1 coat

my 2nd ever attempt at a french manicure with regular polish!

turned out much better then the first time, i think the key is using a really bright white so you can clean it up and the go over it with a sheer polish :)

Essie First Fitting - 2ish coats

Manucurist Active Smooth - 3 coats

Essie Gel Couture Top Coat - 1 coat

my 2nd ever attempt at a french manicure with regular polish!

turned out much better then the first time, i think the key is using a really bright white so you can clean it up and the go over it with a sheer polish :)

Essie First Fitting - 2ish coats

Manucurist Active Smooth - 3 coats

Essie Gel Couture Top Coat - 1 coat