u/Odd-Attempt-9450

She also said I was a little fat like her in a jokey way a while ago but I didnt really care at that time but this hit me diffrent

I grew up ugly as shit and got isolated, bullied by the others so I had noone to talk to than I found internet where I can entertain myself with knowledge about things I was curious about, as a kid I was always curious about everything (especially the way people great one another but deep diving into that only made me bored as a kid, than made me overthink as a teen) that resulted in me being a bit nerdy guy

Most girls in my school doesnt care about me, and the girls that care about me dont consider me the best but they are my good friends I dont have alot friends from the opposite either, I mostly got bullied until highschool

People that liked me say that they liked me for my weird "nerdy but not" vibes which was good for me but I never had someone that say they really find me handsome even the girl that said she had a "crush" on me, she always said "well you got this trait that trait..." I was very insecure about that in that time and she didnt really help either, I still carry those insecureties even after 2 years I just cant fully cope it out

So this sentence really just broke me down even more I shouldnt care about it but I just want to look handsome even for a day or a minute even when I have courage to make friends they are often too cold to me and just cut contact after 1 month maybe if I was handsome enough they would have stayed anyways this is too offtopic

That piece of shit doesnt deserve my care but I cant help myself