u/Ordinary_Cat_01

When I started reading this story I did not like the parts about mincheol either. I just wanted to see how the main relationship between the FL and ML developed over time.

But the layers of depth that the author has added to the character of Mincheol and how he became what he is today is so tragic and sad.

Poverty is not only having difficulty in surviving, it messes with your personality, it makes you spiral into bad behavior. It builds resentments, distrust and despisal. Money can shutter the strongest bonds. Financial issues destroy the most loyal relationships.

Sometimes I feel that it is kinda easy to side with the rich chaebol. Too easy.
What if mincheol and na haesoo never had financial problems? A scenario where he went to the university and got a good job. A scenario where she was healthy and with a good job as well. With Children and living in a nice, cozy home. I genuinely believe that the author wants to say that Mincheol really cared when they were young. In his inexperienced and naive young self he really believed they could make it and be happy together.
But poverty and life punch you straight in your face. There is no happy ending, there is no escape and you just become the antihero.

I can think of Walter White in Breaking Bad: how poverty and health issues can question all your moral believes and get you do things that you would never ever have expected.

Mincheol now is pathetic and disgusting and I am not justifying him, but his fall is interesting, relatable and well written.

I am getting closer to 40. My husband is my same generation. My Obgyn told me to consider embryo freezing if we still did not know if we wanted kids, because time is running out.

My reasons why I haven’t decided yet are classic: I grew up in a modest family and now that I am adult and we make more money, I am enjoying everything I could not do while younger. I travel, I book last minute crazy trips, we eat out, we go to a lot concerts, festivals, events. I have weird sleep habits, like an owl. I like my freedom, our routine and our adult life. We are overall happy.

But all these reasons are secondary to the main one: I am scared of having a child that will end up like my sibling.

I am sorry that it will sound harsh but I am scared of going through what my parents had to go through. I don’t know if I can do it again as well, because I grew up being the older sibling, much older sibling of a child that was born with mental disability. My sibling has mental development delay (confirmed and diagnosed) to the point he can’t be independent now (as adult). He literally has a mentality of a 14 years old teenager even now that he is closer to 30s. During his teenage years, he was also hospitalized for psychiatric reasons and in these months he used to scream all the possible horrible things to my parent and also having bad psychosis. Since he used to listen to me more, I was always treated as second mum. I had to take care of him, follow his school progress, meet with the doctors and so on. My parents suffered a lot but I was exhausted too. They were very painful years and the condition of my sibling put a strain on my parents’ relationship too. Now that they are getting older they constantly worry how my sibling will be able to get by in the future.

After finishing college I decided to leave and now I live far away with my husband, we are happy. Sometimes we talk about how it will be having a child. I sometimes dream about a happy family, after reading what people say about the deep joy that child brings to a couple (even in this subreddit). I image my husband teaching our child how to ride a bike or me being proud of his/her first success, then suddenly the memories of the years with my sibling come in my mind and I recoil. Is the risk is too high? If it happens to me, I really don’t know how I can go through that again.

I am in that age and a husband and still not sure if we want a child. I am closer to 40 than 30 and I know time is running out.
My obgyn suggested that we can freeze embryos.

Anybody that wants to talk about the reason why you have not have children yet? Do you want to stay child free? Is it because you haven’t found the right person? Are you planning to have them or not at all?

At work, I am surrounded by people with kids. Some colleagues have been asking me what I am planning to do or telling me how much I am missing out

Just asking because in tech it seems quite common