u/Otherwise-Support138

My father-in-law keeps influencing my mother-in-law, who then shares those concerns with her daughter, my sister-in-law. Somehow, the issue eventually comes back to us as an argument.

My husband and I planned a family trip after discussing it with his parents. We went over the itinerary before leaving, made all the bookings, and paid for everything ourselves. They agreed to the plans and were initially excited about the trip. We never forced them to come or pressured them into participating in anything.

During the trip, they apparently became tired. If they had simply told us, “We’re exhausted and need some rest,” we would have immediately adjusted the plans. Their bedroom was literally next to ours in the same Airbnb, with our rooms sharing a wall. They could have easily told us.

Instead, they called my sister-in-law around midnight, and she called my husband at 3 AM, yelling: “Why are you taking Mom and Dad on so many trips? They’re exhausted! Are you a fool? Don’t you understand they can’t keep doing this?” My husband simply responded, “They never told me they were too tired. If they had, I would have changed the plans immediately.”

What makes this even more frustrating is that we were traveling with an infant who was already waking us multiple times throughout the night. The little sleep we were getting was precious, yet my husband was woken up at 3 AM to be yelled at over something that could have been resolved with a simple conversation. why does every concern have to pass through three people before it reaches the person who can actually fix the problem?

How do you break this cycle :
Father-in-law → Mother-in-law → Sister-in-law → Husband → Argument?

For a family of 3, how much savings would you recommend having before making the move?

If you’ve already made the move, what amount would you consider a comfortable financial buffer?

A family of 3, what amount would you recommend having saved before moving?
For those who have made the move, what would you consider a comfortable financial cushion?

If someone was laid off from Goldman Sachs in New York, can they apply for and be considered for another open role at Goldman Sachs in a different U.S. location or even in another country?

Has anyone experienced this firsthand, particularly while on H-1B? Were you eligible for rehire, and did moving to a different location or country affect the process?

For those who were laid off while on H-1B and eventually found their way back, what helped you get through it?

Did you find a new job, transfer your H-1B, change roles, or take an unexpected career path?

Please share your success stories and the one piece of advice you’d give someone going through it right now. Positive stories are especially welcome. ❤️

Why are so many Indians still making major life decisions around H-1B jobs when there is so much uncertainty?

People in their mid-30s are leaving stable jobs, spouses are quitting their careers, families are carrying toddlers and moving across the country for a job that ultimately depends on one employer.

At the same time, there are already H-1B holders who have been laid off, cannot find another employer willing to transfer their visa, and are eventually forced to return to India after years in the U.S.

What I don't understand is the disparity. How are people comfortable taking such a huge risk when they can see what is happening to others already on H-1B?

Why are so many Indians still making major life decisions around H-1B jobs when there is so much uncertainty?

People in their mid-30s are leaving stable jobs, spouses are quitting their careers, families are carrying toddlers and moving across the country for a job that ultimately depends on one employer.

At the same time, there are already H-1B holders who have been laid off, cannot find another employer willing to transfer their visa, and are eventually forced to return to India after years in the U.S.

What I don't understand is the disparity. How are people comfortable taking such a huge risk when they can see what is happening to others already on H-1B?

Why are so many Indians still making major life decisions around H-1B jobs when there is so much uncertainty?

People in their mid-30s are leaving stable jobs, spouses are quitting their careers, families are carrying toddlers and moving across the country for a job that ultimately depends on one employer.

At the same time, there are already H-1B holders who have been laid off, cannot find another employer willing to transfer their visa, and are eventually forced to return to India after years in the U.S.

What I don't understand is the disparity. How are people comfortable taking such a huge risk when they can see what is happening to others already on H-1B?

Why are so many Indians still making major life decisions around H-1B jobs when there is so much uncertainty?

People in their mid-30s are leaving stable jobs, spouses are quitting their careers, families are carrying toddlers and moving across the country for a job that ultimately depends on one employer.

At the same time, there are already H-1B holders who have been laid off, cannot find another employer willing to transfer their visa, and are eventually forced to return to India after years in the U.S.

What I don't understand is the disparity. How are people comfortable taking such a huge risk when they can see what is happening to others already on H-1B?

Why are so many Indians still making major life decisions around H-1B jobs when there is so much uncertainty?

People in their mid-30s are leaving stable jobs, spouses are quitting their careers, families are carrying toddlers and moving across the country for a job that ultimately depends on one employer.

At the same time, there are already H-1B holders who have been laid off, cannot find another employer willing to transfer their visa, and are eventually forced to return to India after years in the U.S.

What I don't understand is the disparity. How are people comfortable taking such a huge risk when they can see what is happening to others already on H-1B?

Seeing a lot of people say that if someone is not getting hired, it’s because they don’t code or haven’t upgraded on the coding side.

But are coding skills really the only reason people are getting H-1B transfers in this market?

Would love to hear from both coders and non-coders who successfully found jobs recently. What worked for you, and what advice would you share for others struggling in this market?

My MIL has been a homemaker all her life and has always had three domestic helpers. She also always wanted a working daughter-in-law.

Now that she has one, she has removed all the household help and expects the DIL to manage everything.

We live in a Tier-1 city, and I work a corporate job that involves around 3 hours of commuting every day, sometimes even on weekends.

Why expect the DIL to take on all the household responsibilities when domestic help was considered necessary for the MIL herself?

Is this a common expectation or is it simply unfair?

My MIL has been a homemaker all her life and has always had three domestic helpers. She also always wanted a working daughter-in-law.

Now that she has one, she has removed all the household help and expects the DIL to manage everything.

Why expect your DIL to take on responsibilities that you never had to handle without help yourself?

Is this a common expectation, or is it simply unfair?

Edit: We stay in tier 1 city and I do a corporate job with on avg 3 hours of travelling every single day sometimes on a weekend as well.

My MIL seems to favor my SIL despite her frequently fighting with them, kicking them out after 10 days, controlling their visits, and even once swearing at my FIL.

Meanwhile, at my place they decide when to visit and how long to stay. We have zero privacy they eaves drop on our conversations, keeps track of our pantry, and closets. They keep taunting every single day.

Yet somehow, my SIL seems to get more love and attention while we feel taken for granted.

Why does this happen? Do parents sometimes favor the child who is more demanding or difficult, while taking the peaceful one for granted?

I had a fracture that limited my mobility, so my MIL started cooking for the family. I appreciate the help, but I have noticed a pattern that has been really upsetting:

1. I am often given burnt or overcooked food.
2. Fresh food is prepared separately for herself and her husband.
3. Leftover or stale food is given to me and her own son (my husband).
4. When it comes to fruits, she eats the good portions and gives me pieces cut around the rotten or spoiled areas.
5. She keeps the sweeter fruits for herself, gives them to my FIL, and gives the sour fruits to her grandchild.
6. She cooks such limited quantities that there is barely enough food left for me to eat. How would you handle this situation?

Edit: House and Groceries are mine, they are staying with us. My husband was cooking prior now that we both got laid off, both of us are looking for a job. Mom is working and she just visited cannot take another set of leave. Picked own fruits. Cannot afford outside food, dabba service or a cook. I very kindly brought up about burnt food, she cried and created drama, called her daughter, god knows what she said. My SIL called us at 3 AM only to yell at us. Why are they staying with us? Because she comes from a thinking that you are my son and DIL so you are supposed to do everything for us, we cannot shy away from them. No matter where we relocate within country or outside of our country they are ready to move with us

Seeing a lot of people say that if someone is not getting hired, it’s because they don’t code or haven’t upgraded on the coding side.

But are coding skills really the only reason people are getting H-1B transfers in this market?

Would love to hear from both coders and non-coders who successfully found jobs recently. What worked for you, and what advice would you share for others struggling in this market?

Seeing a lot of people say that if someone is not getting hired, it’s because they don’t code or haven’t upgraded on the coding side.

But are coding skills really the only reason people are getting H-1B transfers in this market?

Would love to hear from both coders and non-coders who successfully found jobs recently. What worked for you, and what advice would you share for others struggling in this market?

https://reddit.com/link/1vgg0je/video/ij17vtwvplhh1/player

https://reddit.com/link/1vfpm6q/video/8tabnxz3tfhh1/player