u/Personal-Radish-4901

Im 13, and I’m depressed for 6 months now, it keeps getting worse, no matter what I do, I’ve tried a lot of things, the most stupid, smoking and stuff like that, nothing worked. I can’t listen to some of my favorite music, cause they bring me to a time i was happy, and that makes me cry. I’m in love, but it’s not a crush, it’s actual love, Im certain, I love her, i love her whole beeing, with good and bad stuff, I love everything in her, she is In my personal opinion, beautiful, she is smart, has the same ideals and political opinions that I have, we are perfect for each other, and we both like each other romanticly, but we don’t want to date, cause you know, we’re 13, it’s not that we can’t stand commitment, I perfectly can, I love it, but we don’t want to start a relationship so soon in life, we’re both happy being very good friends, we’re happy just being together, talking, everything in her is perfect, her hugs, her smile… but there’s a problem, a BIG, problem: she has very restrictive parents so she cant go out a lot, and my parents recently discovered that I smoked, and now for some time I can’t go out a lot, becajse I can’t also be with one guy in our core group, so we have to be very careful now, and I can’t go out on the one day of the week we usaually allways do, and my FOMO, and all the memory’s of loosing friends like this, and there’s another thing, I can’t stand being alone, I need a friend by my side, when I’m not with Maria, I feel every horrible thing i can possibly feel, I can’t stand being depressed anymore, and she, she slows down my brain, she makes me calmer, and happy, and I never whant our moments together to end, everg goodbye hug, every time i know we wil have to go apart for a few hours or days, hurts like hell, I know we’re only in 8th grade and this things pass bla bla bla… but I’ve been like this for too long, I need her, only her and my friend Irene, make me happy, and I miss being a happy person, i miss not being in constant pain, I miss being normal, being able to enjoy life even without them, and this won’t go away, and I have allready forgot the reasons for me to be depressed, I had a horrible year in some ways last year, I’ve lost friends ive won friend, bu that’s normal, so what is it, and hoe is Maria so perfect, I can’t stand loosing her, help me please, I seriously think the easiest way to finish this is to finish everything…

Im 13, and I’m depressed for 6 months now, it keeps getting worse, no matter what I do, I’ve tried a lot of things, the most stupid, smoking and stuff like that, nothing worked. I can’t listen to some of my favorite music, cause they bring me to a time i was happy, and that makes me cry. I’m in love, but it’s not a crush, it’s actual love, Im certain, I love her, i love her whole beeing, with good and bad stuff, I love everything in her, she is In my personal opinion, beautiful, she is smart, has the same ideals and political opinions that I have, we are perfect for each other, and we both like each other romanticly, but we don’t want to date, cause you know, we’re 13, it’s not that we can’t stand commitment, I perfectly can, I love it, but we don’t want to start a relationship so soon in life, we’re both happy being very good friends, we’re happy just being together, talking, everything in her is perfect, her hugs, her smile… but there’s a problem, a BIG, problem: she has very restrictive parents so she cant go out a lot, and my parents recently discovered that I smoked, and now for some time I can’t go out a lot, becajse I can’t also be with one guy in our core group, so we have to be very careful now, and I can’t go out on the one day of the week we usaually allways do, and my FOMO, and all the memory’s of loosing friends like this, and there’s another thing, I can’t stand being alone, I need a friend by my side, when I’m not with Maria, I feel every horrible thing i can possibly feel, I can’t stand being depressed anymore, and she, she slows down my brain, she makes me calmer, and happy, and I never whant our moments together to end, everg goodbye hug, every time i know we wil have to go apart for a few hours or days, hurts like hell, I know we’re only in 8th grade and this things pass bla bla bla… but I’ve been like this for too long, I need her, only her and my friend Irene, make me happy, and I miss being a happy person, i miss not being in constant pain, I miss being normal, being able to enjoy life even without them, and this won’t go away, and I have allready forgot the reasons for me to be depressed, I had a horrible year in some ways last year, I’ve lost friends ive won friend, bu that’s normal, so what is it, and hoe is Maria so perfect, I can’t stand loosing her, help me please, I seriously think the easiest way to finish this is to finish everything…

 I have this friend, Louise... she and I have known each other since about like 3 or 4 years ago, but we rarely talked to each other... till one day that changed, for this we will need to go back to the beginning of this year (im on 7th grade now passing to 8th but I am more mature than you think (medically diagnosticated as gifted)) and that comes with big downsides, like feeling shit like love a lot harder than all my friends (no pun intended) cause while my friend can just let it go I simply can't. Now, back to the beginning of the year: I met a girl, Alice, who I've fallen in love to in that part of the year (note that I already kind of talked to Louise but it was mostly political stuff or basic talks cause we are the only two people in our friend group with what I considere a good political opinion) and from October to the 25th of April (when at midnight during the fireworks I told her I liked her and she just ran away (I didn't eat for that whole weekend) but we are still friends) I was completely blinded by my love for her, and didn't noticed anything else in the world, in the middle of may, when I was finally able to go past her, I started noticing Louise, how cute she was, how beautiful is her smile, how beautiful she is, how smart she is, how easy to talk to she is, how everything about her is perfect and that we both fit together like pieces of a puzzle.

that's wen I fall for her like that's the moment I noticed how madly in love I was, so overwhelming...

Lets go back again:a week or two before she helped me through my meltdown with Alice (yes she basically saved me) I had already helped her, and a big lot: cause in the time we started talking she basically immediately started telling me things no one knows about her. Both of we hate our city, like hate it, and the people here are AWFULLY bad a poisoning, both of we are very socially anxious, and both of we want to get out of here. That's when it happened, she started appearing with strange marks on her wrists and arms saying it was the cat, but one day she came to me and said that is was serious, she showed me her cuted wrist and the blood on the shirt, she said the physical pain helped making the mental pain numb, she had taken I handful of tranquilizers and I was the only one to know all this, and still am, I froze, I just thought that my biggest support would just go away, but I held steady and helped her through, I cared for her more than fore myself, I constantly checked on her till she finally held steady, she's ok now.

So going back to may... now passing to June: in this last week she just always asked me like come with me and we would go for loooooong walks, talking about deep stuff about how bad we still were but good things to. but the gives such mixed signal, sometimes she just pulls away for days or for a day... now school has ended and she wants to switch class because of two people from our class, I still don't now if she's serious. and we won't have many opportunities to hang out this summer. My lesbian friend who is basically my shrink isn't available for thin next three days too and im melting from the inside, I can't think about Louise without getting lightheaded, dizzy, with the stomach all strange and kind of feeling nauseous... I know im not enough for her, she probably doesn't like me, but I can't live without her, without her laugh...

HELP ME

I used to have a crush on a friend, but I’ve moved past that now—especially after everything that happened (so much went down that I didn't eat for a whole weekend). Since then, I’ve been helping a friend I wasn't very close with before; we’ve gotten a lot closer—I know things about her that no one else does, though we aren't exactly *best* friends. I helped her through a suicidal crisis, and we’ve been more connected ever since; she’s stable now. But I’ve realized I’m madly in love with her. During the last few days of school, she’d always call out to me when she saw me, and we’d go for long walks. Sometimes she wants to be alone and doesn't reach out, but lately, she’s been calling me, saying she just felt like being with me. It’s tough because I won't see her during the break, and she might even ask to switch classes 😫. Plus, she says she really loves hanging out with me, but sometimes she pulls away—it sends such mixed signals. #hopelesslyinlove

I used to have a crush on a friend, but I’ve moved past that now—especially after everything that happened (so much went down that I didn't eat for a whole weekend). Since then, I’ve been helping a friend I wasn't very close with before; we’ve gotten a lot closer—I know things about her that no one else does, though we aren't exactly *best* friends. I helped her through a suicidal crisis, and we’ve been more connected ever since; she’s stable now. But I’ve realized I’m madly in love with her. During the last few days of school, she’d always call out to me when she saw me, and we’d go for long walks. Sometimes she wants to be alone and doesn't reach out, but lately, she’s been calling me, saying she just felt like being with me. It’s tough because I won't see her during the break, and she might even ask to switch classes 😫. Plus, she says she really loves hanging out with me, but sometimes she pulls away—it sends such mixed signals. #hopelesslyinlove

I used to have a crush on a friend, but I’ve moved past that now—especially after everything that happened (so much went down that I didn't eat for a whole weekend). Since then, I’ve been helping a friend I wasn't very close with before; we’ve gotten a lot closer—I know things about her that no one else does, though we aren't exactly *best* friends. I helped her through a suicidal crisis, and we’ve been more connected ever since; she’s stable now. But I’ve realized I’m madly in love with her. During the last few days of school, she’d always call out to me when she saw me, and we’d go for long walks. Sometimes she wants to be alone and doesn't reach out, but lately, she’s been calling me, saying she just felt like being with me. It’s tough because I won't see her during the break, and she might even ask to switch classes 😫. Plus, she says she really loves hanging out with me, but sometimes she pulls away—it sends such mixed signals. #hopelesslyinlove

Eu vivo numa cidade relativamente pequena, e conheci uma rapariga chamaremos-le A, ela era perfeita, era linda querida simpatica e o riso dela era reconfortante como uma lareira num dia de inverno. Apos um dia a jogar Dungeons&Dragons com a A e uma amiga (chamaremos-lhe B) minha, eu e a B que era altura de eu o fazer, que depois de 8 meses de espera era altura de me confesar a ela. Estava tudo prefeito nessa noite, era dia 25 de Abril de 2026 (sim foi este ano) uma sexta feira. Na minha cidade ha um pequenk mas lindo rio, e por volta daa 23:50 a B afastou-se de eu e da A e nos os dois aproximamo-nos do rio, tocava música romântica de fundo ao vivo e lindo estava o mar. ATE QUE! Eu profiro apenas duas palavras ou 3 enquanto todo o meu corpo treme. Ela corre com um atawur de ansiedade. Foi aí que tudo se desmoronou, o meu cérebro idiota passou-se. Tive um breakdown. corri para a B enquanto chorava e gritava. De tudo o que podia acontecer aconteceu o pior. A B teve de ir confortar a A a meu pedido pois prefiro estar eu em cacos do que a A sem ninguém. Eu enquanto davam os fogos escondo-me num beco vazio, todo eu tremo, não tenho forças para me levantar, ligo a uma terceira amiga (sim eu não liguei a nenhum amigo homem visto que tão todos tão mal romanticamente como eu) chamaremos-lhe C pois ela era a única pessoa capaz de me ajudar. Falei uma hora com ela ao telefone naquele beco, até que a A manda-me uma mensagem (depois de eu lhe mandar um texto gigante a dizer como eu precisava da B) a dizer: Tens UMA oportunidade. eu corri gritei com pessoas que não sei quem eram atirei pessoas e coisas ao chão por um momento passe por um caixote do lixo a arder e nem dei uma olhadela. Eu cheguei lá. Não consegui falar, estraguei tudo.

Nesse fim de semana não comi quase, emagreci 3 kilos. E joguei fora tudo k que eu sabei que ela gostav (incluindo 3 litros de ice tea de manga que tinha no frigorifico).

Na manha de segunda feira na escola.

Ela dirige-se a mim e fala comigo como se nada tivesse acontecido.

Semanas depois agora a umas 3 semanas. Eu fiz anos. E, como qualquer pessoa, convidei-a para jantar pois ela era e ainda é minha amiga.

Foi a primeira vez que realmente falamos sobre isso. E isso foi o melhor presente de anos que alguma vez recebi. Tudo acabou bem... ou será que não? Falarei mais em breve pois depois de a ultrapassar tou noutra jornada romantica perigosa! Atualizacões em breve!

NUNO POR FAVOR METE ISTO NK HQMC (ou Teresa não sem que está a ler isto 😅) ELA OUVE TODOS OS DIAS E ELA VAI PERCEBER ISTO POR FAVORRRRRRRRR. AS MELHORAS NUNOOOOOOOOOO ❤️❤️❤️

I used to have a crush on a friend, but I’ve moved past that now—especially after everything that happened (so much went down that I didn't eat for a whole weekend). Since then, I’ve been helping a friend I wasn't very close with before; we’ve gotten a lot closer—I know things about her that no one else does, though we aren't exactly *best* friends. I helped her through a suicidal crisis, and we’ve been more connected ever since; she’s stable now. But I’ve realized I’m madly in love with her. During the last few days of school, she’d always call out to me when she saw me, and we’d go for long walks. Sometimes she wants to be alone and doesn't reach out, but lately, she’s been calling me, saying she just felt like being with me. It’s tough because I won't see her during the break, and she might even ask to switch classes 😫. Plus, she says she really loves hanging out with me, but sometimes she pulls away—it sends such mixed signals. #hopelesslyinlove

I used to have a crush on a friend, but I’ve moved past that now—especially after everything that happened (so much went down that I didn't eat for a whole weekend). Since then, I’ve been helping a friend I wasn't very close with before; we’ve gotten a lot closer—I know things about her that no one else does, though we aren't exactly *best* friends. I helped her through a suicidal crisis, and we’ve been more connected ever since; she’s stable now. But I’ve realized I’m madly in love with her. During the last few days of school, she’d always call out to me when she saw me, and we’d go for long walks. Sometimes she wants to be alone and doesn't reach out, but lately, she’s been calling me, saying she just felt like being with me. It’s tough because I won't see her during the break, and she might even ask to switch classes 😫. Plus, she says she really loves hanging out with me, but sometimes she pulls away—it sends such mixed signals. #hopelesslyinlove

Eu gostava de uma amiga, mas eu já consegui ultrapassar depois de tudo o que aconteceu (aconteceu muita coisa eu não comi um fim de semana inteiro), e desde aí tenho ajudado uma amiga minha que era mais distante e aproximámo-nos tipo eu sei coisas de ela que mais ninguém sabe mas nós não somos tipo melhooooooooores amigos eu tipo ajudei a numa situação de risco de suicidio dela e desse aí tamos sempre mais conectados e ela agora está estável, e tipo eu percebi que estou loucamente apaixonado por ela e tipo nos últimos dias de aulas ela chamava-me sempre que me via e demos uma grandeee e volta a pé e tipo às vezes ela quer tar sozinha e não chamas mas nestes dia chamou e disse que era porque apetecia tar comigo e tipo eu agora n a vou ver durante as férias e isso é tão difícil e se calhar ela vai pedir para mudar de turma 😫 E além disso ela diz que gosta bué de tipo andar comigo mas às vezes ela afasta-se Isso dam mixed signals.

#hoplesslyinlove