Is This Normal For a DND Party
I'm a brand-new DM running a campaign for a group that's almost entirely new to D&D, and I'm honestly getting really discouraged. I spend hours between sessions writing encounters, making puzzles, and trying to make the story interesting because I genuinely want everyone to have a good time. But when we actually play, it feels like nobody respects the effort I put in.
Players regularly get up in the middle of the game to have completely unrelated conversations. Sometimes they just ignore me entirely while I'm trying to narrate. One player in particular constantly argues with my rulings to squeeze every possible advantage out of encounters. On top of that, he misses about half the sessions without saying anything. He'll ignore calls and messages, then act like we're "harassing" him for trying to find out if he's coming. I've even told him he doesn't have to play if he isn't enjoying it, but he insists he loves the campaign. That same player—and a few others—will randomly put in AirPods during the game and then ask things like, "It's not my turn. What am I supposed to be doing?"
One session, two players intentionally split the party. While the rest of the group was fighting through a combat encounter I'd spent a lot of time preparing, the other two wandered off to find an empty field so their characters could... play soccer. While I was bouncing between both groups trying to keep everyone involved, the two players who left eventually took out an Uno deck and started playing. Even after combat finished, they just kept playing Uno instead of rejoining the game.
Another session, I made a puzzle encounter. Three of the players were genuinely engaged and having fun solving it, while the fourth spent almost the entire time on his phone. Then he looked up and said the encounter sucked because it wasn't designed well. When I told him that was honestly pretty insulting because I'd spent a lot of time making it—and he hadn't even been paying attention—he said I shouldn't be offended because I'm "a great DM," he just thought it was a terrible puzzle. Then, after finally getting off his phone and actually participating, he literally said: "This is actually fun, huh."
The following week I suggested we do a phone pile to help everyone stay engaged. Every single person agreed except that same player. He argued about it for two hours before finally pretending to put his phone away. He actually put his phone case in the pile and kept the phone. We only realized about half an hour later because he was... on his phone again. When we asked him to actually put it away, he physically cried over it.
Another player spends almost every session creating a completely made-up language instead of playing D&D. Every week it's a different one. When he isn't doing that, he has his head down on the table and barely participates in combat or puzzles.
At this point I honestly feel less like a DM and more like a babysitter. People constantly get distracted, play with random objects in the room, wander off, or just tune out.
The only consistently great player is the one person who's actually played D&D before. He's always engaged, tells me he enjoys the story and encounters, and has even said he thinks the other players are making the experience miserable.
I just feel like I'm putting in a huge amount of effort for people who don't seem to care at all. Instead of looking forward to sessions, I'm starting to dread them because it feels like I'm fighting just to get everyone to pay attention. Is this just what it's like DMing new players? Am I expecting too much? Or is this level of behavior actually as disrespectful as it feels? The only thing making me hesitate to end the campaign is that these are basically the only people I know who are interested in playing D&D. I don't know if I should stick it out and hope they improve, or accept that this group just isn't a good fit.