u/Raiyalin

I had a back-to-back chemical and ectopic last year during this time. My ectopic baby was due January ‘26, but that was taken away from me when the embryo was discovered in my left tube. Seeing the embryo measuring on time and growing strongly, but in my fallopian tube which made it not viable, really jabbed my heart after losing a baby that was in my uterus. I took the MTX and got to save my tube.

I took a year off from trying. I didn’t have the heart to even think about it. Fast forward to this year. I tried for the first time since, I convinced myself that I don’t have to internalize my ectopic experience. My body gave me my first child, I need to give it a chance to give me a second child. My body can’t give me something I want if I don’t try again.

So, I took the risk. But I knew it would probably take time, so I tried to play it cool. Surely enough, I got pregnant first try. But that was only the first beast down. My OB immediately got to work with blood test orders. 4 blood lab samples later, my levels were deemed appropriately rising. Second beast, down.

Then there’s today. My 5w ultrasound. My tech was an angel in human form. She cautiously asked me about my history, when I shared she admitted she saw it in my file but was not sure how open I was for discussion. We had a brief open discussion about my experience, and surely enough the glimmer of curiosity flicked in her eye too.

“Let’s see where this baby is.”

Within a minute, we see a yolk sac. The ultrasound tech happily shares the baby is where it should be. I’m mentally processing the news and more pleasantly surprised than anything else. She peers into my tubes and they are empty. I ovulated from my right.

We conquered our third beast today. I cautiously celebrate. There’s more beasts to conquer, but it’s okay to celebrate the ones we’ve taken down so far in the process.

I gave my body a chance, and now my body is giving this baby a chance. I really hope my January baby sticks around this time, maybe we can meet earth-side in a few months if I’m lucky enough.

Hey all. This is the first time I’ve ever even addressed my hardships with OCD, like at all. I do not have an official diagnosis, but I am beyond positive I have it and would please ask everyone to not say I don’t have it just because I’ve never spoken to a doctor about it. I have it, and saying I don’t just downplays the already years long struggle after struggle I’ve faced. I’ve never been to therapy or taken meds. I have a 4 year degree in Psychology. I am absolutely NOT an expert nor medical professional, but I had a whole chapter on OCD that finally put a name to my struggles. Just some background on how I finally learned what is going on.

I am 27 y/o and have had multiple themes over the years. It first began with contamination of public spaces in high school when my friend gave me the idea. It then transitioned to fear of AIDS. It recently transitioned to food. I’ve worried about illogical things like accidentally doing something without noticing and getting in trouble (I would never hurt a fly and deeply care about others and those around me). I wash my hands often if I think I touched anything even slightly suspicious. I jiggle my door knob after locking it to make extra sure it is locked and even record it in case something happens so I can prove to myself I locked it. I have managed to beat every theme with logic and education on the topic. I’d say my case is more on the mild side because while I will panic and engage in rituals and reassurance seeking, I eventually let it go and tell myself it will be okay.

Anyway. My most recent theme is rabies. I’m purely exhausted by it. This is the first time I cannot seem to manage it by myself with self logic and reasoning. This might be the theme that gets me to talk to my doctor. I’m beginning to feel defeated. Everyday is plagued by at least one thought related to it. I ran over roadkill on the road? Car wash, what if the brain matter or saliva got on my car… Night is falling? Run home to avoid bats and night animals… A squirrel running? Be careful it doesn’t accidentally jump at you… Exposed ankles? Better wear some ankle height socks so I don’t feel a splash of anything wet and think I got licked by an animal…

The theme has only gained more strength in the last year that I’ve had it. I’m now 5 weeks pregnant and I think my hormones are going to make this theme that much worse for me. It already happened. Last night I ran late on my way home and walking from my parking lot into my complex about 30 steps around 8pm was distressing. Everything went perfect until something fluttered/whizzed into my armpit area. It logically looked like plant matter or one of those large mosquito. I even had my toddler with me. She gets scared if she sees a fruit fly flying, let alone something the size of my index finger. She did not react at all. I lifted my armpit and looked at my jacket. I had sleeves covering my arms. I didn’t even feel it touch me. I wouldn’t know it even existed if I just didn’t look. i saw it floating towards me but it literally vanished into thin air when I went to look if something landed on me. I ran into the building and couldn’t find anything on my body.

My logic says I’d notice a hamster sized animal with a larger wingspan whack into me. I didn’t even feel this thing touch me. I checked my arm and had no mark of any sort. I showered to calm down. My mind continues to play the “you’re okay but you might just die unexpectedly in a few months or about a year or two.”

The OCD has gained more traction since I’ve become a mother. I’m terrified of something happening to me because I want to raise my babies. It gains more traction while I’m pregnant. I don’t want to get sick and something happens to the baby in my stomach.

OCD has drained the joy out of my life in multiple ways. Seeing it now drain the joy out of my new pregnancy is heartbreaking. This rabies theme is going to be the bane of my peace this summer.

I don’t like using medication while pregnant, but will admit I am considering doing so once I birth my kid. This rabies theme is going to be the straw that broke the camels back. Imagine a sickness that you can get but don’t show symptoms for multiple months/years and when you do you’re just dead? It is the literal final boss to my fears.

And whats worse, I keep thinking about last night obsessively now. My logic plasters a picture of what I saw floating into me. It was nowhere near a hamster with wings. I didn’t feel it touch me. I had sweater sleeves on so direct skin contact wasn’t easy. I have monitored my arm and there’s nothing I’d even panic over that something hit or even bit me. My arm literally looks like it always does.

Something that someone would brush off as a moth or big mosquito or plant matter, is months of distress and questioning to me. And while I know people do the rabies shots for “peace of mind,” I think that’s just feeding my OCD. I would have gotten them at least 4 times by now if I did that. I’m against the use of medicine unless you truly need it, because there’s people out there who can’t get access to it if I waste it when I don’t *LOGICALLY* need it (hey, this can be my OCD speaking too for all I know).

Suggestions, advice, coping techniques, logical knowledge on the disorder or themes, honestly? Even some reassurance for last night just to calm my pregnancy hormones for now… All of that is welcome. I’d especially appreciate some rabies ocd people to chime in with their two cents about how they’ve been dealing with the theme. Or people who have went through pregnancy with unmedicated ocd. Any and all forms of advice and experiences welcome.

PLEASE, do NOT mention themes not mentioned in this post! Your experience matters to me, but please leave mentioning of new themes out of this because I cannot handle more obsessive thoughts above the ones I already face right now.

The toilet and sink are used in the bathroom regularly but the shower tub I found my kids slip and we just ended up literally never using it.

A guest came over and turned on the tap, she said a dust clump came out and the water was brown. The shower head wouldn’t turn on but the bottom did with some brown water.

I don’t really plan to use it anyway going forward, but I’m not sure if there’s something I should do? I’m renting and two bathrooms wasn’t very necessary so I literally just don’t use that shower. It’s probably bad, but should I be concerned about anything that I shared about the way that shower is acting? Should I do anything or can I just leave it alone again?

I am 27 years old and have a Bachelor of Science in Psychology that I completed back in 2020. I turned 4 years into 3. I graduated Magna Cum Laude and had a perfect 4.0 major GPA. I have plenty of research background. I really loved the field, and took part in officially published work.

My professors were devastated to learn I was not seeking a Masters programs due to getting married (happy for my next step in life, though). My advisor even tried to ask me to get into a program just to have the option. I felt it was not the time for it and declined.

I’ve since had a child and currently have one on the way as a stay at home mom, but I dearly miss school and think I really dropped the ball in my academic potential. The ambition in the back of my mind is telling me to get my Masters degree.

First piece of advice I seek:

Is it too hopeful to juggle a masters degree with kids? Has anyone in this forum entered a masters program as a mom of young kids? If anything, I can wait a few years and begin when they are a bit older… But I see so many videos of parents walking across the stage holding their children and I somewhat see that vision for myself.

Second piece of advice I seek:

I am all over the place of what to do with my degree. My bachelors focused around ABA research work, but I do not see that path for myself anymore. I did, however, thoroughly enjoy my cognitive psychology and neuroscience classes. I am really drawn into neuropsychology or cognitive psychology. Apparently the best path for that is a PhD but I truly don’t know if I’m capable of a PhD at the moment, I feel like I should start with trying to take a bite at a Masters first… The degree would have to be online, if that is an option for my interest.

Third piece of advice I seek:

If I were to pursue something along the lines of Cognitive Psychology and Neuropsychology, would I qualify for a job in a hospital setting at the masters degree level? What would I be doing exactly with this degree at the masters level?

Thank you for taking the time to read this and consider giving me advice. I can’t quiet this deep calling to brush all this dust off my bachelors degree for about 2 years now and counting.

I hope this type of post is allowed here. If not, I deeply apologize and ask for direction to where it is better fit.

I am 27f with no medical issues or concerns. My brother is 30m and ex-sil 29f with no medical issues or concerns.

My niece was officially diagnosed with an incredibly rare genetic disorder today. 1 in ~800 world wide. This answer comes after years of head scratching and confusion with no answers. The doctor told my brother that it is not hereditary from either parent side and happened purely by chance in utero. The doctors reported they can have children without worry of another case. My brother, his ex, and their daughter all provided samples for the genetic testing to be done.

My question is, how accurate are these tests? The test cannot make an error in if it was hereditary or not, right? No sperm or eggs were tested from anyone, if that has anything to do with it. I am having children right now and am actually currently pregnant. I have 1 typically developing child. I am wondering if I should be worried in any form about my future children.

My next question is, would they have told my brother he is a carrier for any other genetic disorder if they found anything? Something additional they said (from what I understand?? Can this even be tested for?) is that both of their sides have “no cancer.” So, I’m assuming if something like that was mentioned then they would mention him being a carrier of something else unrelated to her condition, right?

My final question is, how “accurate” is his test to me since we are both siblings, just him male but me female? Is it possible that I can find some closure in his results for anything *me* genetic carrier related? (I did *NOT* submit a sample, of course). I know this one holds strong potential for sounding dumb since I’m assuming we are all genetically unique. I realize the branch of genetics goes WAY beyond what I learned in biology class back in high school and college.

I also do want to state that I deeply apologize if any of this comes off insensitive in any way. That is not my intention for even a second. I want to make it clear that my niece is a joy to have in our life no matter any and all obstacles faced. We all love her very deeply and dearly.

I am just trying to process the news and bring some closure to myself. Hearing my niece has a genetic syndrome that is astronomically unlikely to have with current studies and data was not something I imagined for today.

I prefer not to name the genetic syndrome in this post.

I have a history of chemical and ectopic pregnancy. My ectopic was in my left tube and solved with MTX at 7 weeks last year. I kept my tube and did no further treatment, they did a regular transvaginal ultrasound and declared my tubes clear.

I’m pregnant for the first time since my ectopic. I’ve been feeling like this pregnancy is in the right place but my HCG values have thrown me into a full blown spiral (ESPECIALLY today’s value).

HCG Values:

11 DPO - 40

13 DPO - 96

15 DPO - 245

17 DPO - 781

Please help me, I know ectopics usually stagnate and fall (which mine did with the last year ectopic) accompanied with bleeding. This one has not done such a thing yet. No bleeding. I felt normal until now, now that I’m worried and actively thinking about it, my left side is hurting.

From your guys opinions, is this concerning for another ectopic? Any advice for me? I’ve seen my HCG triple once before and I’m not entire sure I’m a fan of such a sight.

I’m a nervous wreck.

Hey all, I need to throw my words onto the table to some people who may be willing to hear them. It’s hard to explain because I feel everything at once but also nothing at all. I’ve never felt this way in my life.

Some back story. I had a chemical pregnancy that resolved itself late March of last year, immediately followed by a left tube ectopic that was treated with MTX at 7 weeks and resolved itself. Losing a baby in the right spot, followed by a baby in the wrong spot but growing strongly, permanently killed something my mama heart. I spent last mothers day pregnant with a baby that I wanted with all my heart but couldn’t keep for my own safety.

Fast forward to this year. I finally had the courage to try again. Maybe, just maybe it would be my time. As of this morning, I have an undeniable faint positive at 9DPO CD26. I stared at the test with 0 emotion. I’m not excited, but more importantly, I’m not scared either. I take that win for what it is. I was worried I’d be afraid. In fact, I feel very level headed in understanding my 3 possible outcomes. Chemical, ectopic, or maybe… Juuust maybe… I might be able to see this baby at least have a chance. And maybe, JUUUUST maybe, hold them in my arms in January.

I’m going to be completely honest, I feel a slight pinch of hope because I have a line so reliably on a day where I had clear white negatives for both my chemical and ectopic. I also feel subtle nausea these past 3 days and aching breasts. I think something’s really happening here this time… please be in the right spot, sticky, and healthy.

And, specifically to my ectopic baby. Today is bereaved mothers day. You should be 4 months, going towards 5. I spent this past January hurting a little extra as your due date of January 17th came and went. I spend many moments imagining that 1 extra seat at every family event. My one and only ultrasound of you is tucked away in my wallet. Seeing you wasn’t met with “hello.” It was met with an immediate trip to the ER to get an MTX. Every drop of that injection felt like a cruel but medically necessary form of goodbye. I don’t care if you were in the wrong spot, you were there and you are still mine in heart. Can you give your mama some strength wherever you are? Because seeing the estimated due date of January 13th for this pregnancy is the part that is making me want to cry.

I’m going to allow myself to quietly process today because it’s Sunday. The nausea is feeling worse today because I can’t help but wonder where my baby implanted. If my line sticks around, Monday will be off to reality with intense blood draws and HCG monitoring.

Wish me lots of luck, pretty please 🥺 you guys can feel free to share your stories of pregnancies after ectopic, all types of experiences are welcome.

27f haven’t been to a dentist in maybe about 2 years, 3 years maximum. I’ve definitely gone but not the “every 6 months” gone.

I brush my teeth, have them all in visibly good shape, but will admit I slacked a little in dental hygiene the last year due to some depression from 2 pregnancy loss. There were some times I wouldn’t brush even 5 days in a row because I was home. No, this is not a good excuse. No, I do not do this anymore and deeply regret it. Please be nice to me in that regard because as someone who keeps up with dental appointments and work her entire life I know I was an absolute idiot for it.

I use sensodyn repair and protect with regular formula listerine total care, if this helps or affects anything.

I’ve discovered I’m freshly pregnant again as of this morning. I had a cavity I was supposed to fill at my dentist at my last appointment but never went due to time and just not having the money for that specific purpose at the time. I had gone to an appointment about a year-ish or year and a half of birthing my first child, if that means anything in terms of why I had the single cavity to begin with.

Anyway, is it safe to do xrays and routine dental cleaning during early pregnancy? Should I wait for the second trimester? Should I take maximum care of my teeth and wait for pregnancy to be over?

My teeth feel fine aside from some occasional gums discomfort around the tooth I was supposed to fill. And this usually only happens if I accidentally fall asleep while putting my child to bed and forget to brush my teeth (I know… I’m switching to brushing before her bedtime as opposed to after, I’ve been more fatigued).

The tooth looks visibly fine with no stains or marks. Gums too. No swelling or anything concerning aside from the occasional discomfort. They do not bleed when I brush now, but did initially when I was getting myself back on track to good oral hygiene.

This pregnancy means a whole lot to me, but so does this tooth because I have “perfect” teeth and if I lose it I will be devastated.

Can I safely go to a dentist? When should I go? What should I be careful of as a pregnant patient? Is it safe to do dental work that I may (extremely likely) need on the tooth?

Absolutely any and all advice is very appreciated. I’m the type of person that gets pretty scared of doing anything medical/dental related outside pregnancy during pregnancy. The tooth feels discomfort but not quite “I can’t handle this” discomfort. Apparently “Dr. Google” says early pregnancy hormonal changes can exhasterbate tooth symptoms.

I had an ectopic in my left tube last year that resolved with MTX at 7 weeks. I got cleared last September and had an ultrasound to check if everyrhing was okay. I was given the green light to try again. I wasn’t ready after a back-to-back chemical followed by ectopic and just put TTC on my back burner.

I’m finally back and am currently in the first 2 week wait I’ve had since. I am 8DPO. I’m using my Flo app to track and Pregmate ovulation tests.

Anyway. The two times that I did try last year ended up successful but just in losses. So, while I know TTC can take time, I also know it could happen first try but not necessarily. So, it’s why I’m a bit worried and about to ask what I’m going to.

When you guys tried to concieve the first time after ectopic, did you ever cramp up where you had your ectopic pregnancy? I’ll always feel the ectopic area when my hormones go crazy (ovulation/pms) even on a normal cycle.

Today I felt a cramp take hold of my left tube area. And it held a good 2-3 minutes. It was tolerable but felt almost like someone was lightly pressing it between two fingers pinching it. Sounds weird but I’m just curious if anyone has ever had this.

This is a general question to all moms with kids of all ages. It’s park season and my almost 4 year old is loving the almost daily trips we take to the park. I keep a constant eye on her.

There’s parents with multiple kids that can’t really just hawkeye one child when they got 1-3+ others. Anyway, I’ll sometimes see a kid trip and fall. The mom in me wants to help them up but I get nervous about other parents feeling a type of way about that. But I also realize me standing there and obviously having seen them but keeping my arms wrapped and not helping them may seem rude.

In another instance, my child came down a slide and didn’t notice an ~18 monthish kid running past so I almost scooped up the kid to get them out of the way. Thankfully no collision. The dad noticed me almost get his child out of the way and just gave me a small smile of acknowledgement. He must’ve known my mom reflexes came in.

So, my question is, do you guys help other peoples kids up when they fall or take them out of incoming harms way (child sliding down slide towards them or something)?

A kid tripped yesterday and I kinda hesitated and watched because his parents were trailing over to him and he had run ahead. My husband helped without hesitation and they thanked him. Maybe I’m overthinking this?

**EDIT TO ADD: I think it’s important that I clarify that I am more asking about when a kid falls and starts crying right next to me with no adult around. I would never consider even saying anything if they fell with no reaction or just got right back up. Kids obviously fall at the playground all the time, I wouldn’t be able to lift up every single child even if I wanted to (and that would be a bit excessive and maybe even a little weird).**

My in-laws had issues with my FIL’s parents when they were younger. Plenty of them. I’ve been married 5 years now and have been pinned to their history as the next target. It’s been constant projection and subjection to their past ever since they laid eyes on me.

We can spend all day here as I write up the grocery list of pure disrespect that my husband and especially I have put up with and swallowed countless times from them.

And it’s always the type of disrespect that makes your stomach sick. The type that makes you wonder if some people are just born to be heartless and hypocritical masked behind playing the victim. The type where they CLEARLY use your present to erase their past and make their future better by looking like some poor victims who never got the respect they “deserve.”

Having an issue with your MIL sucks. But having her project her own past onto you at the same time is pure torture.

I’ve gone no contact for about a month now. She still calls my husband to throw shade at me and get him all worked up and argue with her. It’s exhuasting, but I don’t want to turn into someone I’m not. I don’t want to fall to her level and throw horrible words out there like they hold no meaning. I don’t want to throw the cherry on top to her narrative of being her shadow. She LOVES when she gets reactions out of me because she gets to cry to quite literally everyone about what a terrible person I am.

The biggest thing, and the highlight of this mini rant is this. How does an individual (like my MIL) have a horrible history with her in-laws that literally every single person knows about… Also have a horrible present with her son and DIL… And still have 0 self reflection?

A 5$ mirror at Walmart to look at yourself and ask yourself if maybe you’re the problem is cheaper than the literal peace of 2 different generations.

I’m exhausted. I’m literally running on fumes. If your relationship with your own MIL was so bad, why would you project this onto your DIL? Why wouldn’t you want to be better? Why would you shove your son and his wife into the same position your in-laws did to you if they were such bad people? Do you have no sense of protecting the son you chew my ear off on the phone about? If you hate and don’t respect me as a DIL, FINE (not really), why don’t you have at least an ounce of consideration for your son’s feelings doing this to us? I’m his wife, the partner he chose to walk with him the rest of his life???

There has to be a line. Somewhere. ANYWHERE. In at least one reality in the billions this universe has. Where you consider for at least 1 millisecond that just MAYBE you were and still ARE the problem. If your past wasn’t your fault as much as you preach, then why haven’t you shown me that love and respect you longed for? Instead, I’m every insult in the book and “ruined the family” when all I ever did was love their son and want to create my own family.

A brief side note. I have spoken to many different individuals who were around when her in-laws were alive. I’ve heard some incredibly unhinged things she has done to them and said. Things I would never say in my dreams let alone reality. I’ve also heard some not so great things they did to her. My overall view of that situation is that they mostly didn’t want to put up with her hypocracy like my husband and I do. They also had some faults of their own towards her that I do not agree with and admittedly feel bad for her about. But my TOP view is that I wasn’t even born when a majority of this happened so I’m not sure why I’m hearing about it almost daily plenty of years later.

It is worthy of noting that she has almost caused my husband and I to divorce twice, that she now claims on both occasions she avoided our separation when that’s just absolutely not true.

Thank you for taking the time to hear me rant. Any insight or advice you all may have is welcome.