u/Raiyalin

TW: Mention of previous early loss

I’m going to preface this by admitting I have had early losses last year including a miscarriage and ectopic, hence why I am heavily conflicted.

I’m due Jan 2027 and just entered my 12th week. This is my second and I really want to do something special with my daughter to announce the baby and gender in a memorable photo as her milestone of becoming a big sister.

People in the immediate bubble / area where we live know about the pregnancy. I guess I’m terrified of broadening the horizons to social media and having a wider scale of people knowing. I really want the announcement though because I think it will heal a part of me and push me to put more trust into my pregnancy.

On the other hand, I’m worried about if I somehow lose it later on. I’ll be back to square one, hurt even more because the baby was progressing, and admittedly personally feeling like a massive idiot all over again.

When are you all announcing? Did you do anything on social media? Should I just drop my desire to announce to everyone that publically, or push myself out of my comfort zone to give my daughter a memorable first picture day for the idea of her sibling?

This might be a dumb question but I can’t help but be curious. I want to say that I’ve never had an issue with this location so I was very… Confused. I was at the drive thru today and got my order. I grab it and the entire bottom looks covered in globs of liquid droplets. I hand it to my husband in a rush to get out of the way and it slightly wets his lap. He places it in the back seat, we have material car seats so the liquid likely gets absorbed.

I think of going back to the drive thru to ask why the entire bottom was coated in some liquid, but I figure why make it sound like a big deal. They were slammed and busy. I’m assuming moving drinks through probably got messy with so many cars waiting.

The person at the window seemed new (and not to sound rude, but pretty darn clueless because an iced caramel latte took a total of 5 twists in circles with a cup of ice in his hands). The weirdest part is he looks at me a bit oddly as I drive away, and I was actually nice about the entire thing but I did give a confused look at the bottom of my bag when he handed it to me, which he handed off to me pretty low. Maybe he thought me lifting the bag and looking at the bottom was a weird move.

I grab the bag when we get home. The bag is spotless with no moisture on the bottom. Had I not seen it initially, I never would have known that insanity of wetness was ever there.

So, for FUTURE reference. I will admit the liquid forming droplets on the bottom of the bag initially made me uncomfortable because food is inside the bag, but since it’s a food place I’m assuming a beverage may have spilled a little by the cash register area where my bag was waiting to be handed to me. My childs food was in the bag too so I’ll admit that was most of the source of my concern. Would it have been a big deal if I did go back and ask them to switch the bag or something? I find it so odd the paperbag was in mint condition when I arrived home, as though the intense amount of droplets at the bottom were never there, are the bags water proof or something?

Thanks for the employee input in advance. I like to treat all food service employees with maximum respect and just don’t want to come off as a rude or difficult customer if it happens again and I choose to go to the drive thru again and ask them to not place my bag in wet areas before handing them to me.

My entire marriage has gone to shit multiple times thanks to my MIL, but this is more focused on my pregnancies. My first pregnancy was hell thanks to my MIL. She hounded me over every little detail, attacked me over every blood test result, and wanted to know every little detail. As a former people pleaser, it worked for her with me. She even named my first child (Yeah, I’m a total idiot, please don’t remind me).

She made postpartum even more Hell. We moved in the weekend before, I transferred OB’s and had my induction unexpectedly that Monday for gestational hypertension. We lived with my in-laws and she “helped” me with my kid. Aka, medeled into everything including things that weren’t her business.

This pregnancy I’ve been holding her at a FAR distance. When we told her she didn’t even congratulate us, just said “Hopefully it’s in the right spot this time at least” (I had an ectopic last year). She only gets updates when she asks me herself, I make 0 effort to update her otherwise.

We go to visit today and I am 11w along. My first pregnancy I was constantly hounded by my MIL if my child will be born “sick” because I have a cousin with autism. I ended up giving birth to a healthy and typically developing girl. Today, she randomly tells me “don’t do an amniocentesis.” Which, honestly? I wasn’t really planning on it? I found the topic to be random but I told her I wouldn’t do one unless I felt it was necessary.

Next she asks how many ultrasounds I’ve had. I mean, more than usual because I have a history of ectopic and loss? Anyway, I answer. She asks about my blood work and I told her everything is normal (there was something concerning on my end for MY OWN health, not baby’s, but my doctor is going to retest and I will be dealing with that on MY OWN… Fingers crossed it is nothing).

Finally, she asks about the gender. I tell her they took the blood and results will take 2 weeks. She goes quiet as I finish the topic there and we spend the rest of the time on unrelated topics.

On my drive home she calls me. She goes “send the gender results to me, I’ll get a cake made and make a small get together to have us all be surprised.”

Excuse me? Now, this might sound sweet on her end, but this woman has ruined every happy moment of my life since she came into it. She made my first pregnancy hell, my postpartum hell, involved herself in naming my child, overstepped every boundary possible. Heck, LONG STORY, but she has shattered her phone on the ground because she slammed it victimizing herself that I’m “withholding her grandchild from her” when my daughter was a baby but we literally lived in the same house as them thanks to ME agreeing to it (stupidly).

So, I left the conversation saying “I already told the doctor to send it to me. I’ll see if I can change it tomorrow and let you know.” I’m not calling her back. I don’t want her to find out, why should she know about my kids gender before me? I already let them have their moment with my daughter, they got the results before me and everything. I’m not doing it again. I was a clown once, I’m not being a clown again.

I actually wanted to keep the gender to myself a few days, not even tell my husband. They’re all SO set in stone for a boy. I almost feel like they’re DEMANDING a boy. It’s getting on my last nerve how obsessed they are when I myself do not care about the gender. I just want a healthy baby.

TLDR; My MIL who made my first pregnancy and postpartum a living hell is being held at a massive distance for my current second one, and is already trying to overstep the boundary by ordering me to send the baby’s gender results to her so she can “surprise me.”

I am 27f and 10w pregnant. Previous loss is miscarriage at 5w and ectopic both last year. Pregnancy confirmed intrauterine, growth is appropriate and vitals of baby look great according to scan last done on June 10th. Next appointment is June 25th for first sit down with OB and ultrasound.

I’ve been experiencing a LOT of discharge these last 2 weeks. I know this is doc forum and theres no such thing as “tmi” but I want to say sorry for being tmi anyway. The last few days my discharge feels almost like a very light period (but I’d like to make it clear there is NO blood in urine or my discharge). I just used the restroom a few minutes ago and I heard a little “plop.” My heart dropped because I got scared. I look and it is a mucus looking blob about the size of a dime, but not blood looking brownish. It was clot looking and didn’t float. My urine is bright yellow but I attribute that to my prenatal pill. My lady bits have not been smelling its best these past few days no matter how much I tidy up, maybe that is related to this.

I have a history of recurrent UTI, but have not had one in an entire year. I have no pain when urinating, urine the appropriate amount, and once again want to state there is no visible blood. And… The smell coming from my area isn’t something I usually get with my UTI’s? It kinda smells like… a skunk :(

I’ve had a UTI and yeast infection before. Whatever this is, its neither of them. Maybe BV? Never had it so I don’t know what to look out for. Is there anything else other than those 3 it can be?

Should I be worried about my discharge? Should I call my OB or wait until my appointment on the 25th? I put a panty liner on but it is for hygenic reasons.

I’ve had this pan for about 2 years now. It recently began leaving some gray residue on napkins when wiping dry after washing and I assumed it was just the napkin reacting to being rubbed against metal (I never dried with napkins until now, running low on rags and need to grab at the store). It would rub off on towels too but only if I apply force to drying.

Well, I’ve been boiling pasta and using the pan frequently for all types of cooking and the color never goes onto my food nor sticks to it visibly (like when I toss some cream cheese into my pasta and mix it).

I never thought much of it, I thought it was normal. But I am 9w pregnant and have a 4 year old daughter. For my peace of mind, is it safe to use this pan? I want to make sure it is not harming my child, myself, and especially baby rapidly developing in my stomach.

I’ve been in the first trimester trenches. I’ll occasionally make pasta with cream cheese because it helps calm my nausea. Anyway, about 6ish days ago or a week now I had made some. Its the last thing I made in the pot before hand washing with warm water and dish soap. Sometimes the cream cheese can be sneaky and hard to get off. I rewashed the pot itself before boiling pasta today, but the lid looked visually clean with no residue.

I used the lid to partially cover the pan. Boiled the pasta and used the lid to stop the pasta from falling out of the pan as I drained the water. I went to wipe down the lid to put it down on the counter and noticed 2 streaks of pink on the napkin.

I’m worried the lid might’ve had some small old smears of either cream cheese or pasta residue. My logic is it might’ve moistened from the boiling water and dripped back into the pasta while boiling.

My toddler and I already ate the pasta. Will we get sick, or was it an insignificant amount plus heat might’ve killed whatever it could’ve been?

Worried for my pregnancy and toddler. Not sure if that was safe to eat.

So, this might sound a tad icky but I genuinely didn’t notice a small piece of popcorn kernel skin very specifically wedged in my gums. I usually brush but this kernel was very thin and sneakily in my tooth that it took specific recognition of it and angling my toothbrush to get out.

I haven’t had popcorn since maybe 5 to 7 days ago. I noticed something was up when I brushed today and a horrible test in my mouth persisted from one area. I ran my tongue over the area and noticed the hull wedged in there and only slightly poking out.

The problem was over as soon as I discovered it. Brushed it right out (I think?). I didn’t visually see it come out but I’m feeling instant relief from discomfort I didn’t even realize I was having and my gums bled out in the problem spot.

I’m 9w pregnant so I’m worried about infections and further issues. Is there anything I should look out for? Is it safe to assume the hull dislodged as opposed to wedged itself in further? I no longer feel any hard kernel skin and it’s just regular tooth and gum.

TW: MC and Ectopic mention

I had a miscarriage last March ‘25 followed immediately by an ectopic April/May ‘25.

I got my MTX to terminate the ectopic on May 27th last year. The resurfacing emotions have been destroying me and riddling me with doubt.

I had a placement ultrasound at 5w5d to confirm the pregnancy is in the uterus. The ultrasound tech said things were measuring 5w1d but stressed that inaccurate measurements early on are typical and that everything looked appropriate for the stage of pregnancy I was in.

I have an ultrasound Monday morning (I will be 7w6d). I’ve never felt more anxious than now. I keep trying to tell myself to just walk in there confident that I’ll hear a heartbeat and everything is going well. But I’m struggling to do that. This pregnancy is so wildly different from my first. My symptoms fluctuate. My confidence in this pregnancy fluctuates.

I have no bleeding, thankfully, and it is confirmed in my uterus. But the timeline of this pregnancy being the same of my ectopic is ripping open some scars and I’m increasingly scared that I’m going to get bad news Monday.

I don’t know why, but I’m so convinced Monday is going to be a bad day. I don’t want to lose my January baby again. I can’t stare at the calendar with empty arms, but my mind tells me it’s my incoming destiny. Is this usual for pregnancy after loss?

So. To be honest, this is not my fault but became my problem. My husband was driving my 2025 toyota Camry in a storm during midnight hours the other night. Came home and said nothing, went to work. I sat in my car to drive and it sounds questionable.

There’s a scratching noise under the car. It almost sounds like dragging your seatbelt buckle on a solid surface. It occurs when I hit slight bumps, inclines entering parking lots, slow speed, and turn.

My husband finally admitted to hitting a bump on the highway. He says it wasn’t even a dramatic one, it was one of those where he assumes it’s from road patching (visibility was a little low). Or it was from smooth pavement to uneven gravel. He claims the scratching noise has occurred since then. He admitted to noticing it too while driving. Yeah, I’m a little mad he kept quiet, but I guess his options for mechanics were nonexistent at 2am and he had work in the morning.

I’ll be honest I think it’s a branch but I cannot get under to check. I say this because when I went to park yesterday I heard something dragging under the car.

How much do I risk going through a car wash today? Can it damage my tire or make me curse myself with repair costs? My hope is if it’s a tree branch or rock or something, the high pressure water will crank it out. If that fails, I’ll be scheduling a mechanic appointment and making my husband take it at that point.

Any insight and thoughts appreciated.

I’m going to start this off with telling you all that I understand life goes on at all times of the year and obligations exist for others. But I’m so close to crashing out and I’m not sure if my feelings are valid so I want to come here and reality check myself. Every year I find myself saying the same thing: my husband’s immediate family purposely makes it impossible for my daughter’s birthday to be perfect!

1st birthday - I give credit where it’s due, it was cute we made it in the backyard and everyone got together. The issue with this one was my in-laws were hounding me for my daughter’s theme “to prepare.” I told them the theme. My youngest SIL (5 at the time) is born on the 10th of the month and my daughter is the 24th. I told them the theme a month earlier thinking they actually wanted to help me plan. Nope, I come the day of my SIL’s birthday and the entire house is decorated with the theme I wanted for my kid. My jaw on the floor, I had to scramble and change the theme 2 weeks before my kids first bday.

2nd birthday - my middle SIL decided to schedule her engagement party the day after my daughters bday. Formal invites, everyone’s getting ready and focused on that. Mind you all, the calendar is HUGE. She did not have to pick the day after my daughter’s bday!! There are 363 other days in the entire year. They were so busy getting ready for the engagement all day, that my daughter and I sat alone with my husband and lit the candle by ourselves in an empty house (we lived with them at the time). I had just lost my grandma so I was hoping her bday would get my mind off of things, but I felt stabbed even more.

3rd birthday - we were supposed to go to disney. We invited my oldest SIL to join us 4 months in advance. She never declined, went quiet. 2 weeks before my daughters bday, she sends an invitation for her 6 months old sons “baby shower” the day after my daughters bday. Again, everyone is getting ready and focused on that. I was going through a back-to-back miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy loss. My tube was swollen and making me dizzy and sick. Everyone knew I was going through a hard time. We cancelled disney, stayed home per doctor instructions because it was dangerous for me to do anything. I didn’t even get a cake, husband had emergency work. I cried the whole entire day.

4th birthday (this year) - we told his family we would like to make a dinner style celebration for my kid about 2 months ago. It was met with “she’s not turning 16.” They all seemed to not be fans. I told my husband we should not make it because they had 600 negative things to say about the idea of it. I pooled the money into gifts for her instead. I SAW SOMETHING COMING BECAUSE PATTERNS ARE BECOMING APPARENT. My middle SIL tells me “we’re going to Mexico on vacation!” about a week and a half after the suggestion of making a bday for my kid. My lucky guess was 1 day before my kids birthday so she doesn’t have to attend. My oldest SIL came with gifts last week because “she’s too busy to come this week.” My middle SIL left for Mexico today. I looked at the forecast and it’s thunderstorms the entire week where she’s going, this might be petty of me but I hope that thunder claps LOUD.

Today is the day before my kids birthday. The cycle lives on for another year. For my youngest SIL’s birthdays, we are always together. My child’s bday becomes optional in the shadow of all of their celebrations and vacations. We are always together for my oldest SIL’s kids bdays (middle has no kids yet). We are always together for my FIL and MIL birthdays. They’re all planned around my kids birthday. Every other birthday of the year we are together.

They’ve never celebrated a single one of my birthdays in all the 6 years I’ve been in their family. The disrespect has officially spread to my child. I’ve been hinting to them over these past years that I am not happy with how they’re treating her birthday. This is the fourth year. I argued with my husband over this already and he told me I care too much and to just ignore them because they want me to react and cause an issue. I’m so close to crashing out and telling them about themselves. I’m so close to making sure my daughter’s bday remains an ordinary day for the rest of their lives because I will never be inviting or suggesting anything to them again. Am I overreacting?

EDIT TO ADD: I want to make it very clear that no one is required to change their plans over my childs birthday. Not attending is totally fine. But when they attend everyone else’s birthdays like clockwork, get together for every family event non-negotiable, it makes you feel a type of way about them elaborately planning anything EXCEPT your child on their birthday. So, I’d like to stress that her birthday will be equally special without them. My little family is more than enough. It’s the disrespectful undertones in the small actions that makes me take a step back and get upset.

I had a back-to-back chemical and ectopic last year during this time. My ectopic baby was due January ‘26, but that was taken away from me when the embryo was discovered in my left tube. Seeing the embryo measuring on time and growing strongly, but in my fallopian tube which made it not viable, really jabbed my heart after losing a baby that was in my uterus. I took the MTX and got to save my tube.

I took a year off from trying. I didn’t have the heart to even think about it. Fast forward to this year. I tried for the first time since, I convinced myself that I don’t have to internalize my ectopic experience. My body gave me my first child, I need to give it a chance to give me a second child. My body can’t give me something I want if I don’t try again.

So, I took the risk. But I knew it would probably take time, so I tried to play it cool. Surely enough, I got pregnant first try. But that was only the first beast down. My OB immediately got to work with blood test orders. 4 blood lab samples later, my levels were deemed appropriately rising. Second beast, down.

Then there’s today. My 5w ultrasound. My tech was an angel in human form. She cautiously asked me about my history, when I shared she admitted she saw it in my file but was not sure how open I was for discussion. We had a brief open discussion about my experience, and surely enough the glimmer of curiosity flicked in her eye too.

“Let’s see where this baby is.”

Within a minute, we see a yolk sac. The ultrasound tech happily shares the baby is where it should be. I’m mentally processing the news and more pleasantly surprised than anything else. She peers into my tubes and they are empty. I ovulated from my right.

We conquered our third beast today. I cautiously celebrate. There’s more beasts to conquer, but it’s okay to celebrate the ones we’ve taken down so far in the process.

I gave my body a chance, and now my body is giving this baby a chance. I really hope my January baby sticks around this time, maybe we can meet earth-side in a few months if I’m lucky enough.

Hey all. This is the first time I’ve ever even addressed my hardships with OCD, like at all. I do not have an official diagnosis, but I am beyond positive I have it and would please ask everyone to not say I don’t have it just because I’ve never spoken to a doctor about it. I have it, and saying I don’t just downplays the already years long struggle after struggle I’ve faced. I’ve never been to therapy or taken meds. I have a 4 year degree in Psychology. I am absolutely NOT an expert nor medical professional, but I had a whole chapter on OCD that finally put a name to my struggles. Just some background on how I finally learned what is going on.

I am 27 y/o and have had multiple themes over the years. It first began with contamination of public spaces in high school when my friend gave me the idea. It then transitioned to fear of AIDS. It recently transitioned to food. I’ve worried about illogical things like accidentally doing something without noticing and getting in trouble (I would never hurt a fly and deeply care about others and those around me). I wash my hands often if I think I touched anything even slightly suspicious. I jiggle my door knob after locking it to make extra sure it is locked and even record it in case something happens so I can prove to myself I locked it. I have managed to beat every theme with logic and education on the topic. I’d say my case is more on the mild side because while I will panic and engage in rituals and reassurance seeking, I eventually let it go and tell myself it will be okay.

Anyway. My most recent theme is rabies. I’m purely exhausted by it. This is the first time I cannot seem to manage it by myself with self logic and reasoning. This might be the theme that gets me to talk to my doctor. I’m beginning to feel defeated. Everyday is plagued by at least one thought related to it. I ran over roadkill on the road? Car wash, what if the brain matter or saliva got on my car… Night is falling? Run home to avoid bats and night animals… A squirrel running? Be careful it doesn’t accidentally jump at you… Exposed ankles? Better wear some ankle height socks so I don’t feel a splash of anything wet and think I got licked by an animal…

The theme has only gained more strength in the last year that I’ve had it. I’m now 5 weeks pregnant and I think my hormones are going to make this theme that much worse for me. It already happened. Last night I ran late on my way home and walking from my parking lot into my complex about 30 steps around 8pm was distressing. Everything went perfect until something fluttered/whizzed into my armpit area. It logically looked like plant matter or one of those large mosquito. I even had my toddler with me. She gets scared if she sees a fruit fly flying, let alone something the size of my index finger. She did not react at all. I lifted my armpit and looked at my jacket. I had sleeves covering my arms. I didn’t even feel it touch me. I wouldn’t know it even existed if I just didn’t look. i saw it floating towards me but it literally vanished into thin air when I went to look if something landed on me. I ran into the building and couldn’t find anything on my body.

My logic says I’d notice a hamster sized animal with a larger wingspan whack into me. I didn’t even feel this thing touch me. I checked my arm and had no mark of any sort. I showered to calm down. My mind continues to play the “you’re okay but you might just die unexpectedly in a few months or about a year or two.”

The OCD has gained more traction since I’ve become a mother. I’m terrified of something happening to me because I want to raise my babies. It gains more traction while I’m pregnant. I don’t want to get sick and something happens to the baby in my stomach.

OCD has drained the joy out of my life in multiple ways. Seeing it now drain the joy out of my new pregnancy is heartbreaking. This rabies theme is going to be the bane of my peace this summer.

I don’t like using medication while pregnant, but will admit I am considering doing so once I birth my kid. This rabies theme is going to be the straw that broke the camels back. Imagine a sickness that you can get but don’t show symptoms for multiple months/years and when you do you’re just dead? It is the literal final boss to my fears.

And whats worse, I keep thinking about last night obsessively now. My logic plasters a picture of what I saw floating into me. It was nowhere near a hamster with wings. I didn’t feel it touch me. I had sweater sleeves on so direct skin contact wasn’t easy. I have monitored my arm and there’s nothing I’d even panic over that something hit or even bit me. My arm literally looks like it always does.

Something that someone would brush off as a moth or big mosquito or plant matter, is months of distress and questioning to me. And while I know people do the rabies shots for “peace of mind,” I think that’s just feeding my OCD. I would have gotten them at least 4 times by now if I did that. I’m against the use of medicine unless you truly need it, because there’s people out there who can’t get access to it if I waste it when I don’t *LOGICALLY* need it (hey, this can be my OCD speaking too for all I know).

Suggestions, advice, coping techniques, logical knowledge on the disorder or themes, honestly? Even some reassurance for last night just to calm my pregnancy hormones for now… All of that is welcome. I’d especially appreciate some rabies ocd people to chime in with their two cents about how they’ve been dealing with the theme. Or people who have went through pregnancy with unmedicated ocd. Any and all forms of advice and experiences welcome.

PLEASE, do NOT mention themes not mentioned in this post! Your experience matters to me, but please leave mentioning of new themes out of this because I cannot handle more obsessive thoughts above the ones I already face right now.

The toilet and sink are used in the bathroom regularly but the shower tub I found my kids slip and we just ended up literally never using it.

A guest came over and turned on the tap, she said a dust clump came out and the water was brown. The shower head wouldn’t turn on but the bottom did with some brown water.

I don’t really plan to use it anyway going forward, but I’m not sure if there’s something I should do? I’m renting and two bathrooms wasn’t very necessary so I literally just don’t use that shower. It’s probably bad, but should I be concerned about anything that I shared about the way that shower is acting? Should I do anything or can I just leave it alone again?

I am 27 years old and have a Bachelor of Science in Psychology that I completed back in 2020. I turned 4 years into 3. I graduated Magna Cum Laude and had a perfect 4.0 major GPA. I have plenty of research background. I really loved the field, and took part in officially published work.

My professors were devastated to learn I was not seeking a Masters programs due to getting married (happy for my next step in life, though). My advisor even tried to ask me to get into a program just to have the option. I felt it was not the time for it and declined.

I’ve since had a child and currently have one on the way as a stay at home mom, but I dearly miss school and think I really dropped the ball in my academic potential. The ambition in the back of my mind is telling me to get my Masters degree.

First piece of advice I seek:

Is it too hopeful to juggle a masters degree with kids? Has anyone in this forum entered a masters program as a mom of young kids? If anything, I can wait a few years and begin when they are a bit older… But I see so many videos of parents walking across the stage holding their children and I somewhat see that vision for myself.

Second piece of advice I seek:

I am all over the place of what to do with my degree. My bachelors focused around ABA research work, but I do not see that path for myself anymore. I did, however, thoroughly enjoy my cognitive psychology and neuroscience classes. I am really drawn into neuropsychology or cognitive psychology. Apparently the best path for that is a PhD but I truly don’t know if I’m capable of a PhD at the moment, I feel like I should start with trying to take a bite at a Masters first… The degree would have to be online, if that is an option for my interest.

Third piece of advice I seek:

If I were to pursue something along the lines of Cognitive Psychology and Neuropsychology, would I qualify for a job in a hospital setting at the masters degree level? What would I be doing exactly with this degree at the masters level?

Thank you for taking the time to read this and consider giving me advice. I can’t quiet this deep calling to brush all this dust off my bachelors degree for about 2 years now and counting.

I hope this type of post is allowed here. If not, I deeply apologize and ask for direction to where it is better fit.

I am 27f with no medical issues or concerns. My brother is 30m and ex-sil 29f with no medical issues or concerns.

My niece was officially diagnosed with an incredibly rare genetic disorder today. 1 in ~800 world wide. This answer comes after years of head scratching and confusion with no answers. The doctor told my brother that it is not hereditary from either parent side and happened purely by chance in utero. The doctors reported they can have children without worry of another case. My brother, his ex, and their daughter all provided samples for the genetic testing to be done.

My question is, how accurate are these tests? The test cannot make an error in if it was hereditary or not, right? No sperm or eggs were tested from anyone, if that has anything to do with it. I am having children right now and am actually currently pregnant. I have 1 typically developing child. I am wondering if I should be worried in any form about my future children.

My next question is, would they have told my brother he is a carrier for any other genetic disorder if they found anything? Something additional they said (from what I understand?? Can this even be tested for?) is that both of their sides have “no cancer.” So, I’m assuming if something like that was mentioned then they would mention him being a carrier of something else unrelated to her condition, right?

My final question is, how “accurate” is his test to me since we are both siblings, just him male but me female? Is it possible that I can find some closure in his results for anything *me* genetic carrier related? (I did *NOT* submit a sample, of course). I know this one holds strong potential for sounding dumb since I’m assuming we are all genetically unique. I realize the branch of genetics goes WAY beyond what I learned in biology class back in high school and college.

I also do want to state that I deeply apologize if any of this comes off insensitive in any way. That is not my intention for even a second. I want to make it clear that my niece is a joy to have in our life no matter any and all obstacles faced. We all love her very deeply and dearly.

I am just trying to process the news and bring some closure to myself. Hearing my niece has a genetic syndrome that is astronomically unlikely to have with current studies and data was not something I imagined for today.

I prefer not to name the genetic syndrome in this post.

I have a history of chemical and ectopic pregnancy. My ectopic was in my left tube and solved with MTX at 7 weeks last year. I kept my tube and did no further treatment, they did a regular transvaginal ultrasound and declared my tubes clear.

I’m pregnant for the first time since my ectopic. I’ve been feeling like this pregnancy is in the right place but my HCG values have thrown me into a full blown spiral (ESPECIALLY today’s value).

HCG Values:

11 DPO - 40

13 DPO - 96

15 DPO - 245

17 DPO - 781

Please help me, I know ectopics usually stagnate and fall (which mine did with the last year ectopic) accompanied with bleeding. This one has not done such a thing yet. No bleeding. I felt normal until now, now that I’m worried and actively thinking about it, my left side is hurting.

From your guys opinions, is this concerning for another ectopic? Any advice for me? I’ve seen my HCG triple once before and I’m not entire sure I’m a fan of such a sight.

I’m a nervous wreck.

Hey all, I need to throw my words onto the table to some people who may be willing to hear them. It’s hard to explain because I feel everything at once but also nothing at all. I’ve never felt this way in my life.

Some back story. I had a chemical pregnancy that resolved itself late March of last year, immediately followed by a left tube ectopic that was treated with MTX at 7 weeks and resolved itself. Losing a baby in the right spot, followed by a baby in the wrong spot but growing strongly, permanently killed something my mama heart. I spent last mothers day pregnant with a baby that I wanted with all my heart but couldn’t keep for my own safety.

Fast forward to this year. I finally had the courage to try again. Maybe, just maybe it would be my time. As of this morning, I have an undeniable faint positive at 9DPO CD26. I stared at the test with 0 emotion. I’m not excited, but more importantly, I’m not scared either. I take that win for what it is. I was worried I’d be afraid. In fact, I feel very level headed in understanding my 3 possible outcomes. Chemical, ectopic, or maybe… Juuust maybe… I might be able to see this baby at least have a chance. And maybe, JUUUUST maybe, hold them in my arms in January.

I’m going to be completely honest, I feel a slight pinch of hope because I have a line so reliably on a day where I had clear white negatives for both my chemical and ectopic. I also feel subtle nausea these past 3 days and aching breasts. I think something’s really happening here this time… please be in the right spot, sticky, and healthy.

And, specifically to my ectopic baby. Today is bereaved mothers day. You should be 4 months, going towards 5. I spent this past January hurting a little extra as your due date of January 17th came and went. I spend many moments imagining that 1 extra seat at every family event. My one and only ultrasound of you is tucked away in my wallet. Seeing you wasn’t met with “hello.” It was met with an immediate trip to the ER to get an MTX. Every drop of that injection felt like a cruel but medically necessary form of goodbye. I don’t care if you were in the wrong spot, you were there and you are still mine in heart. Can you give your mama some strength wherever you are? Because seeing the estimated due date of January 13th for this pregnancy is the part that is making me want to cry.

I’m going to allow myself to quietly process today because it’s Sunday. The nausea is feeling worse today because I can’t help but wonder where my baby implanted. If my line sticks around, Monday will be off to reality with intense blood draws and HCG monitoring.

Wish me lots of luck, pretty please 🥺 you guys can feel free to share your stories of pregnancies after ectopic, all types of experiences are welcome.