was in the car today with my dad, put in my earbuds, and set my headphones case in the little cup holder of the door. Probably an hour passed and when I went to put my headphones back, the case was completely gone. I looked everywhere, including taking absolutely everything out of the cup holder so that there was no crevices it could be hidden in. I know for a fact I looked in that specific spot, and I looked very thoroughly. There's absolutely no way I overlooked it, but it was nowhere to be found. Went to the park, and came back, and when I looked again it was in that exact cup holder behind a can.

I've had this happen a couple of times in the past, and every time it's felt absolutely maddening. The only explanation I can think of is that my dad took the case while I was napping or something and then put it back when we got into the car. But why? Why would he do that, especially when actively driving? That would be a weird thing to just randomly do, and I've asked him repeatedly if he's fucking with me and he's adamant he didn't. So my conclusion is that they phased through space for an hour and then returned.

I'm an incoming freshman majoring in Music Education, in the piano studio! Anyone else? I am both hopeful and scared for these next four years, but I know no matter what it will be an adventure, and it's one I'm meant to go on. I'm excited to call this wonderful university my home :)

For reasons that are too complicated to get into here I don't currently have a government ID, and while I have filed for one, I expect it will take quite a while and won't be here in time for the start of the school year. Thus I won't be able to get a permanent BuckID for a while.

I know that you can get a temporary BuckID, does that work for mealswipes as well as housing? Also, how long does a temp ID last? Thank you!

I had a really vivid imagination as a child, like to the point that it was synesthetic. I loved being read picture books and Dr. Seuss because I could feel the sensations of the books I was reading. One of my favorites was a Dr. Seuss story that involves the main character falling into a mountain full of pillows; that was the biblical manifestation of coziness and comfort to me.

I still have a pretty vivid imagination if I work it out by reading fiction, and have had some crazy sensorious experiences when reading, but nothing quite compares to what it used to be like. That sort of imagination that can push reality into the peripherary without any effort was honestly magical, and it's probably the biggest thing I miss about being a child.

Bit of a rant. My brother does this and it's annoyed me to no end, particularly because I've been watching a lot more movies this summer and it's very much changed my outlook on the whole "Hollywood is dying and doesn't know how to make original concepts anymore" thing. Spoiler alert: There's so many cool new movies getting made these days you just need to, like, actually look for them and watch them.

My brother straight up refuses to watch new movies because he doesn't want to waste his time, because he believes Hollywood is dying and doesn't know how to make original concepts anymore, because some video essayist on YouTube told him so. It's incredibly perplexing to me. It's like his hobby is movies, but it isn't actually about watching movies, it's about having a stake in the discourse about movies. And I just don't understand. He literally said the Oddyssey isn't worth watching because he watched a convincing video essay about it that broke it down, except he couldn't even regurgitate the opinion coherently because he didn't remember it fully. We were talking about actors and he said that Zendaya is a one note actor who kinda just plays herself in every role. I asked oh what movies has he seen her in, he said he's seen her in a single spider man movie.

...😐

It makes it so frustrating to actually try to talk movies with people like this. Like if you don't care to watch movies, don't! But it's odd to have strong opinions about all these films and the state of Hollywood if you're not actually interacting with the film culture 😭. Those aren't your opinions!! Those are some random YouTuber's opinions, and I don't care how reputable of a critic you think they are, that's not your opinion!! You have no idea what you're even talking about because all you've seen of the movie is someone else's thoughts on it!! I just don't understand why anyone would want to do this to themselves, it seems so miserable. I watch movies because I enjoy them and it's fun to watch something that leaves me digesting and thinking for a few hours. But by watching exclusively summaries and reviews, you don't get any of that. You just get semi-convincing talking points that you can contribute into the discourse with. What's even the point, why do this to yourself? Why would you want to intentionally make yourself mad?

My brother does this and it's annoyed me so much more, because I've been watching a lot of mlvies couple this summer and it's very much changed my outlook on the whole "Hollywood is dying and doesn't know how to make original concepts anymore" thing. Spoiler alert: There's so many cool new movies getting made these days you just need to, like, actually watch them.

But my brother straight up refuses to watch new movies because he doesn't want to waste his time, because he believes Hollywood is dying and doesn't know how to make original concepts anymore, because some video essayist on YouTube told him so. It's incredibly perplexing to me. It's like his hobby is movies, but it isn't actually about watching movies, it's about having a stake in the discourse about movies. And I just don't understand. He literally said the Oddyssey isn't worth watching because he watched a convincing video essay about it that broke it down, except he couldn't even regurgitate the opinion coherently because he didn't remember it fully. We were talking about actors and he said that Zendaya is a one note actor, I asked what movies he's seen her in, and he said he's seen her in a single spider man movie.

...

It makes it so frustrating to actually try to talk movies with him. Like if you don't care to watch movies, don't! But you can't have strong opinions about all these films and the state of Hollywood if you're not actually interacting with the movies 😭. Those aren't your opinions!! Those are some random YouTuber's opinions, and I don't care how reputable of a critic you think they are, that's not your opinion!! You have no idea what you're even talking about because all you've seen of the movie is someone else's thoughts on it!! I just don't understand why anyone would want to do this to themselves, it seems miserable. I watch movies because I enjoy them and it's fun to watch something that leaves me digesting and thinking for a few hours. But by watching exclusively summaries and reviews, you don't get any of that. You just get semi-convincing talking points that you can contribute into the discourse with. What's even the point, why do this to yourself? Why would you want to intentionally make yourself mad?

I tend to have big hopes for myself over the summer, like this year I wanted to read a bunch and practice both my instruments every day and exercise more often to prepare for auditioning to college marching band. However, seeing as I always have these big hopes which often don't entirely come to fruition, I did temper my expectations this go around.

And good thing too because I don't think it would really be possible for me to have embraced absolute sloth as much as I have been. I hesitate to call it depression but it's definitely gotten there at some points—more than anything I'm just wrapped up in a cocoon I feel. My sleep schedule varies day to day, I spend 10-16 hours watching YouTube and TV and movies (I've watched quite a few top tier movies this summer I must say), and I usually spend most of the day in my room and in bed.

I know life is set to kick back into motion pretty soon, and I wish I'd spent my time preparing for it better, but honestly after graduating highschool I just collapsed from the exhaustion of the last four years.

Hey all! I'm an incoming freshman this year. I'm doing Athletic Band this semester since I wasn't able to get to Columbus to catch many summer sessions or even make it to tryouts for TBDBITL, but the marching band is my ultimate plan eventually.

I'll be in Siebert Hall which closes over the summer, so I was wondering what the options are for housing around Columbus next summer? Particularly if you were someone who likewise did not already live in Columbus but was able attend summer sessions. Thanks!

I had a dream last night that was genuinely so beautiful and bizarre that I can't really describe it in a way that conveys its beauty. I was like standing at the top of a cliff that overlooked the ocean, talking with dead souls about their old lives, and then pushing them off the edge and watching them dissolve into the water. The atmosphere and the cosmic significance of it was incredibly beautiful to witness, and I don't really have the words to describe why or how just that it was.

Have you ever had a dream or experience in your life that was like that? Beautiful and impactful but in a way that alludes language?

I know plenty of people are saying it, but it's mostly in an offhand "obviously the animation is amazing" amidst a critique of the story, so I really want to put the spotlight on just what a phenomenal job the artists of this movie did.

Yes. The movie has its flaws. The story leaves much to be desired. The characters are quite flat. *Whatever*, can I take a moment to just absolutely shower the animation with praise? Because it is astounding and I don't think people are giving the artists the flowers that they deserve.

This genuinely might be the most visually pleasing animated movie I've ever seen, and especially being a Western cartoon rather than a Japanese anime that's just insane. I'd go as far as to say that the animation of this film is literal perfection. Every still image is a work of art, yet the animators managed to maintain that high detail of drawings while making the most buttery smooth and nuanced motion imaginable. There isn't a second of jittery motion, or clichéd anime still-frames, or a static drawing being moved. There isn't a single shortcut! I'm pretty damn certain every single frame a character is on screen, it's an entirely new drawing.

The micromovements and the subtleties of expression, as well as the massive and awesome action sequences, are just jaw dropping. If we're to compare this movie to literally any other piece of Avatar media, it blows it out of the water. Korra looked freaking phenomenal, especially the first season, but it just pales in comparison to this masterpiece. Even studio ghibli movies (admittedly a different style, and different artistic focus I know) are jittery sometimes, and take shortcuts when it's reasonable to do so. But Legend of Aang just straight up didn't.

Pause during any moment of this movie and you could print that out, frame it on your wall, and have an art piece to lose yourself in at the details and colors and expressions. Seriously guys I cannot think of any 2D animated movie that surpasses this. It's absolutely incredible, and a true testament to the work and love put into this thing. If anyone who worked on this movie is reading this, thank you 1000 times over

There's a fanfiction that I've been reading that I recommend to literally anyone who will listen lol. It's called Writing in Water, and it is essentially an in depth triple novelization of the entire show from the perspective of Katara. It's ridiculously well-written to the point that I consider it canon and just take it as truth, and it has totally recontextualized Katara's side of their relationship.

Narratively in the show, they kept Katara's feelings quite ambiguous and subtle throughout because 1. we're shown the story through a mostly omniscient lens, but simultaneously through Aang's inner world, and 2. the show played their love as a will they/won't they thing, all culminating in that final kiss that emphatically states yes they will!

But when we consider things from Katara's perspective, it's honestly a very interesting and dynamic story.

Katara grows up in a town with no boys except her brother and toddlers, all the other men have gone off to the war. When she meets Aang she assumes a motherly role almost instinctually because that's what she's had to be for her tribe, and she continues to try to assume that role, but throughout their journey Aang continues to subvert it. Sure, he's "just a kid", but he's a kid who holds the death and memory of an entire ancient civilization on his shoulders. He's a kid who is the avatar, the bridge between realms, the bender of all four elements, a ten thousand year old soul, a living messiah, responsible for bringing peace and balance to all four nations as a politician, diplomat, and primordial being. There are so many moments where Katara is floored by Aang's wisdom, and where she first saw him as a silly and childish young boy she ends seeing him as well beyond her.

Katara harbors something for Aang from the moment they meet, just like we know that Aang falls in love with her that same moment. But it's not until the fortune-teller episode and Sokka's "powerful bender" line that she becomes aware of the possibility and starts to consider whether she might be in love with him. Following that, she has to grapple with so many reasons their love just cannot be a worry of hers. Aang needs her as a waterbending master, the fate of the world depends on him and so by extension her. She can't lose him as a friend because if her feelings are unrequited it could tear apart their entire group and she'd lose this special bond and adventure and life for herself that she has never had before. And again, this is the Avatar. Even if she confesses her love to him, and even if he feels the same, he has so much to worry about that Katara being a distraction to him in anyway could cause him to be unable to fulfill his duties and win the war.

Their entire adventure she is in love with him, and goes through much of the same agonizing pining that Aang does. I mean it's not like she successfully stonewalls him, Aang and Katara hug a lot and every season begins and ends with them in each other's arms. She kisses him on the cheek and blushes when he gets too close and dances with him. And in the heat of the invasion when she very well may never see Aang again, when he kisses her she kisses him back.

But she does everything she can to hide it because there's just too much at stake. It recontextualizes the show for me in such a fascinating way, and makes those small moments that we see Katara's mask crack all the more meaningful. In Ember Island when Katara pulls away and talks about being confused, it's so much more impactful to consider that she's been going through that turmoil for most of the show. Their kiss at the invasion only happened because it might have been the end, and now that she knows it's not, it terrifies her that what she has kept hidden for so long is at last out in the open. All she wants to do is to say yes, to be with Aang, to let herself be in love. But if she does, there's the real chance that Aang would put her above the rest of the world and he'd lose.

There's so much nuance to Katara's story that I wish the show could have explored more, but it wasn't Katara's show and frankly the love story between Katara and Aang was always secondary. So I really highly recommend reading this fic. It's quite a beast to read in its entirety but being able to experience this story in a whole new level of depth is just incredible.

There's a fanfiction that I've been reading that I recommend to literally anyone who will listen lol. It's called Writing in Water, and it is essentially an in depth triple novelization of the entire show from the perspective of Katara. It's ridiculously well-written to the point that I consider it canon and just take it as truth, and it has totally recontextualized Katara's side of their relationship.

Narratively in the show, they kept Katara's feelings quite ambiguous and subtle throughout because 1. we're shown the story through a mostly omniscient lens, but simultaneously through Aang's inner world, and 2. the show played their love as a will they/won't they thing, all culminating in that final kiss that emphatically states *yes they will!*

But when we consider things from Katara's perspective, it's honestly a very interesting and dynamic story.

Katara grows up in a town with no boys except her brother and toddlers, all the other men have gone off to the war. When she meets Aang she assumes a motherly role almost instinctually because that's what she's had to be for her tribe, and she continues to try to assume that role, but throughout their journey Aang continues to subvert it. Sure, he's "just a kid", but he's a kid who holds the death and memory of an entire ancient civilization on his shoulders. He's a kid who is the avatar, the bridge between realms, the bender of all four elements, a ten thousand year old soul, a living messiah, responsible for bringing peace and balance to all four nations as a politician, diplomat, and primordial being. There are so many moments where Katara is floored by Aang's wisdom, and where she first saw him as a silly and childish young boy she ends seeing him as well beyond her.

Katara harbors *something* for Aang from the moment they meet, just like we know that Aang falls in love with her that same moment. But it's not until the fortune-teller episode and Sokka's "powerful bender" line that she becomes aware of the possibility and starts to consider whether she might be in love with him. Following that, she has to grapple with so many reasons their love just *cannot* be a worry of hers. Aang needs her as a waterbending master, the fate of the world depends on him and so by extension her. She can't lose him as a friend because if her feelings are unrequited it could tear apart their entire group and she'd lose this special bond and adventure and life for herself that she has never had before. And again, *this is the Avatar*. Even if she confesses her love to him, and even if he feels the same, he has so much to worry about that Katara being a distraction to him in anyway could cause him to be unable to fulfill his duties and win the war.

Their entire adventure she is in love with him, and goes through much of the same agonizing pining that Aang does. I mean it's not like she successfully stonewalls him, Aang and Katara hug a lot and every season begins and ends with them in each other's arms. She kisses him on the cheek and blushes when he gets too close and dances with him. And in the heat of the invasion when she very well may never see Aang again, when he kisses her she kisses him back.

But she does everything she can to hide it because there's just too much at stake. It recontextualizes the show for me in such a fascinating way, and makes those small moments that we see Katara's mask crack all the more meaningful. In Ember Island when Katara pulls away and talks about being confused, it's so much more impactful to consider that she's been going through that turmoil for most of the show. Their kiss at the invasion only happened because it might have been the end, and now that she knows it's not, it terrifies her that what she has kept hidden for so long is at last out in the open. All she wants to do is to say yes, to be with Aang, to let herself be in love. But if she does, there's the real chance that Aang would put her above the rest of the world and he'd lose.

There's so much nuance to Katara's story that I wish the show could have explored more, but it wasn't Katara's show and frankly the love story between Katara and Aang was always secondary. So I really highly recommend reading this fic. It's quite a beast to read in its entirety but being able to experience this story in a whole new level of depth is just incredible.

I find that ambient music has the unique ability to vividly articulate emotions and feelings that can barely be properly described with words. What's an album for you that manages to perfectly encapsulate one of those wordless feelings?

I love Hereditary for many reasons. The shock moments were genuinely shocking, when *that* moment happened I literally gasped and covered my mouth in horror. But something I really wanna highlight is the shot design. There's so much silence in this movie. It builds most of its tension without scary monsters or creepy visuals of any kind, and instead just lingering. The action beat happens and then the camera slowly zooms out and you just sit with that silence for 10, 15, sometimes even 20 seconds.

I just love it. So many films refuse to let their films breathe, and there's practically never a moment of silence for more than a couple seconds. Hereditary was bold as hell for how they shot and edited the film, forcing you to sit in your seat and just *wait*. Ugh I love it so much.

Hey all! I've been working quite meticulously on this piece for a long time now, and I'm happy to say I've finally finished it! The idea is that each month has a short vignette poem that captures a moment, feeling, or concept and can stand in isolation; but each month functions as one part of the greater poem—the whole year.

Feedback is very much welcome, whether that be criticism, interpretation, or impressions. What did you feel while reading this? What did you see?

***

My Calendar Year

Jan.

I was born a corpse.

A numbness with no name.

Cold skin. Amniotic blue.

Eyes, silver crescent moons.

I thought I had the choice

to float, to sink.

But this life infected my body.

Pounded against my static heart

forced its burning air into my lungs

pried my jaws apart into a scream

raped me into being.

Feb.

—Anecdoche. A conversation in which everyone is talking but nobody is listening–instead merely overlaying words like a spoken game of Scrabble, each player borrowing bits of others' anecdotes to build out their own, until we reach a point when we all run out of things to say.

Quite an ugly baby, isn’t he?

it still hurts to breathe…

You’ll do great things in your life, mister!

You’ll do everything and never be enough.

you never will believe in me, will you?

Chin up, kid. Winners don’t whine, so get a move on!

i’ll tell you why, you’ve never seen me.

Even your brilliance smells pathetic.

i’m on a train that has no destination.

Life is worth it, don’t mope around!

this train won’t stop, even if I wanted it to.

You’ll die trying. I promise we won’t clap.

i’ll get off some day. what does it matter when?

Mar.

I found you in a dream,

awash in a blissful nowhere.

You, my bright unbreathing,

shimmered like dew on the skin of dawn.

A whole rainbow collapsed into one drop of rain.

You are my sacred one,

my thawing moon,

my devourer of quiet hours,

my tender catastrophe,

my almost-always.

I awoke with your name humming in my ribs,

not a word…but a warmth…

Apr.

Take my hands in yours

and kiss me on my scars, my tenderness.

For you are breath and shiver and ache.

Don’t let me go, my sweet fluorescence.

Last night while you were sleeping, I sat

next to you, and at once

we grew radiant in our stillness.

Heartbeats intertwined.

Shadows kissing shadows.

I knew I was lovesick

for you.

May.

I think this is what it means to live.

Our hearts sing in biological lullaby of

beating, beating, beating.

And oh, how I imagine my hand holds yours,

two sparrows curled within a nest of down and

cooing, cooing, cooing.

Your laughter like a lark, it shimmers

dissolving the winter’s frigid blue to blue of sky,

and sunlight dripping droplets down my wrist.

The air is so blissful that it coats my throat

in sweetness. Pollen flushes my cheeks with red.

Honeysuckle perfume lulls the birds to silent

stillness, as if the whole world has held its

breath.

Jun.

I hold you in my arms, your skin pressed into me, soft and glowing still

from summer’s warmth.

Your fingers against my palm trace slow, aimless circles. The world around us

has disappeared;

nothing left but the golden light that bleeds into your shoulders,

and endless oceans

of molten gold, dripping down beneath the sky. Your chest rises as you

breathe into me, mesmerized.

The heat from your body is almost burning, and I feel your heart beating

soft against my neck.

In this moment we are creatures of eternity, enraptured in a sun-soaked, cosmic silence

marble statues with beating hearts.

Jul.

The stars shine like tears on night’s face.

This is the most beautiful life I can imagine

farthest from the burned-in images before my birth

where the corpses floated in the emptiness beside angels’

firstborns. While I am with you I fill my lungs

and trap the air

for we were destined for this breathlessness together.

My thawing moon, you are the sacred wonder in my chest.

If we ever lost each other and I lost you,

I would tell the night to wipe her tears away. When her cold

shivered into the air, and her darkness swallowed my eyes,

I’d curl into the velvet curtains of that blackened night

and cry until I lost my breath again.

Aug.

This is the way the ending happens.

Your melting warmth unkisses me

our foreheads part and eyes unfocus.

My heartbeat loses what it will have known

the lullaby of your voice within my ears.

You take the heat out of my skin and I grow cold again

my breath turns white, then pushes back inside my lungs.

The candle-wax unmelts itself.

The flame drowns, turns again to solid wick.

You lift my name out of your head and I unmeet you.

You walk away from me, weightless toe to heel

hair floats back toward your face.

I let my vision drift then blur till I unfind the rosy glimpse of you.

I think what beauty love might someday be.

Sep.

I looked into your kerosene-blue eyes,

looked for those paintings

of our hands, fingers interlaced,

of body next to body, and your warmth flushing mine,

of music in the air, the smell of home wafting to us,

all our memories, etched into your iris.

I looked so long that the sun lost itself.

A fog set in, so thick you forgot what it meant to see.

Your eyes have clouds now, my beloved.

Cataracts.

Oct.

Trees rise above me for miles, their bark black as ink

weeping from a pen. Overhead, this sour sky,

sky of spoiled cream, clouded white like rot.

If you walk long enough, it always finds you—

the sycamore. Pale as bleached white bone.

An ivory wound against this frigid ink. Alone.

I once found my heart beneath those unearthly branches.

Life within death within life within death.

Tonight, I leave my heart back where I found it.

under the roots,

under the soft,

under the place where it used to beat.

Nov.

All I have of us are memories, now

your scent of honey and spring-ripened peaches.

I still hear your laugh,

in the whispers of the wind outside my window.

All we are is all we were, now. And God…

what a lie, to say I’m not still in love.

Shivers through my vertebrae, at the thought of you…

this fireplace of Us—fading wratmh, crynig ebmer.

All I hvae of you is in my mnid, now

in hree, you are as rael as eevry laef

now fiallng

in tihs dnyig atuumn.

Dec.

This is the end of us.

The air is loud with winter static

cathode-ray screaming.

I lost my eyes in this flickering snowstorm.

Still I look for you, retinas burning with a once-was-image.

Sometimes I see your face within the static fractures.

The screaming whines inside my molars

grinds my bone away to calcium dust.

This is the end of us.

No longer beggars pleading for love.

Now for mercy.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1utcw5o/comment/owutlbr/?

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1utc8ll/comment/owuut6o/?