u/Secure-Ad8808

Hello!
I will be starting CUNY BCC soon and am looking for a room to rent no matter how small, preferably no more than $2500. I would prefer female roommates and wouldn’t mind a pet friendly apt.
I am a tidy person, I am a very good cook, I love art, plants, I have a heart for activism, and I love music.(I wont blast any unless you want me to)
I am moving from Pennsylvania, so New York is a bit new to me and this will be my first time renting.
My parents are going to be paying for my rent for my first semester or until I get a steady income that will allow me to pay for rent myself. I am not very picky, all I ask is that I have a positive, clean, and respectful space to live. I have no limit on how many roommates I may have as long as I can afford it and everyone has a baseline respectful relationship with one another.

If you have an offer, comment or DM me for my number and we can discuss it further :)
thanks!

I am very nervous and very scared I dont know how to calm my breathing and I ma drop my phone typing this im just so worried oh my days
I have wxtreme thanatophobia
MY SWEETHEART MY LOVE OF MY LIFE HAD A BIG JOB EARLIER TODAY (HE DOES JUNK REMOVAL) I HAVW HIS LOCATION ON AND IVE HAD AN UNSETTLING FEELING SINCE THIS MORNING SO THROUGHOUT THE DAY I CHECKED HIS LOCATION JUST TO SEE HOW HE WAS DOING AND IF HE WAS SAFE + NOT IN AN ACCIDENT ETC. I KNOW IT SOUNDS CRAZY BUT KNOWING HES SAFE ON THE ROAD AND WHEREVER HE GOES IS WHAT HELPS ME SLEEP AT NIGHT. I SAW THAT HE FINISHED THE JOB AND RETURNED BACK TO MY TOWN ON FIND MY A FEW HOURS AGO AND WAS RELIEVED TO KNOW HE’D BE HEADING BACK HOME SOON, ONLY TO SEE 20 MINS AGO THAT HIS PHONE WAS LAST LOCATED IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHWERE ABOUT 45MINS AWAY FROM THE TOWN WE LIVE IN DESOLATE AND CLOSE TO A LARGEST BODY OF WATER ON WHAT IS LIKE A LITTLE ISLAND LIKE PIECE OF LAND. I DONT LIKE THIS. IM REALLY WORRIED. I WANT TO DO SOMETHING. I JUST CALLED HIS PHONE AND IT WENT STRAIGHT TO VOICEMAIL. I KNOW HE WENT WITH HIS CLOSE FRIEND TO FINISH THE JUNK REMOVAL JOB AND HE LIKELY WENT WITH HIM TO WHEREVER THEY ARE BUT IM REALLY CONCERNED. SOMETHING ABOUT THIS DOESNT SEEM RIGHT. JUST DOESNT MAKE SENSE!??

UPDATE: HE MERELY LOST CELL SERVICE WHEN HE WENT HIKING AND SWIMMING WITH HIS FRIEND AND NOW HES ON HIS WAY HOME

Location: Harford County, Maryland (DUI)

I am soliciting \*\*pure legal opinion\*\* and not personal opinion about what you may perceive to be my son’s character or morals.

\*\*DUI:\*\* My son (19 yo) said he was parked irregularly (“kind of in the middle of the road”)in a neighborhood that had an officer on patrol when the officer spotted my son parked in a way that im assuming no sober person would park in the street. The officer approached him and came to find out there was alcohol in the vehicle and that my son seemed to be intoxicated. There, he received the DUI. There is more information I’ve yet to find out like whether or not he refused to have his BAC tested or do any of the other tests but I believe he said he refused to comply with the testing🤦‍♀️.
This occurred in Harford County, MD but his drivers license is from Pennsylvania. Im curious what the repercussions are like if you get a DUI across state lines as well.
It PAINS me to think he could end up doing time. He has his own moving company that has been doing exceptionally well and he is saving for a bright future but this has all been a major setback :(
There is no money in our pockets for lawyers so we will be going the public defender route.

Can any of you use your best judgment on what the outcomes could be for him based on what information I’ve given? I am happy to answer any more questions.
He has chosen to take full responsibility and plead guilty for both charges.

1. What is entailed in the ARD and would completion of that allow him to get off jail free?

2. How much time MAX could he face for this first offense DUI? he didn’t cause any accidents or reckless driving per say, he was just parked idiotically)

3. Is there any way out of jail time regarding the DUI?

Thank You for helping a stressed out mom. This has upended our lives and my baby has harshly learned his lesson. I just hope to hear honest thoughts on what this all combined may look like for him and what can I do to help?

what are the possible outcomes of my son’s charges (DUI and Simple Assault)

Location: Harford County, Maryland (DUI)
Location: York, Pennsylvania (Assault)

I am soliciting **pure legal opinion** and not personal opinion about what you may perceive to be my son’s character or morals.

**DUI:** My son (19 yo) said he was parked irregularly (“kind of in the middle of the road”)in a neighborhood that had an officer on patrol when the officer spotted my son parked in a way that im assuming no sober person would park in the street. The officer approached him and came to find out there was alcohol in the vehicle and that my son seemed to be intoxicated. There, he received the DUI. There is more information I’ve yet to find out like whether or not he refused to have his BAC tested or do any of the other tests but I believe he said he refused to comply with the testing🤦‍♀️.
This occurred in Harford County, MD but his drivers license is from Pennsylvania. Im curious what the repercussions are like if you get a DUI across state lines as well.

**Simple Assault:** My son got into a heated argument with one of his friends/employees in the car and his friend began berating him and then slapped him while he was driving. This hurt my son’s ego, so he pulled over and he ultimately ended up fighting back. However, this became a two against one situation when one of his other friends in the car came to my son’s defense and punched the guy who hit my son leading him to fall down. Then, to top it all off, my son took his anger out on the guy while he was already on the ground and began kicking him multiple times, injuring him pretty severely. This was caught on a passerby’s dash cam and was reported to the police which caught up with my son and his friend. Officer said that he could tell it was a petty dude fight gone too far and took it from aggravated assault down to simple assault. Nevertheless, it’s assault and it still was poor conduct on my sons behalf with the way he handled his emotions.

I am concerned about the outcome of both of these cases and how they will affect his life now and in the future.

It PAINS me to think he could end up doing time. He has his own moving company that has been doing exceptionally well and he is saving for a bright future but this has all been a major setback :(
There is no money in our pockets for lawyers so we will be going the public defender route.

Can any of you use your best judgment on what the outcomes could be for him based on what information I’ve given? I am happy to answer any more questions.
He has chosen to take full responsibility and plead guilty for both charges.

1. **What is entailed in the ARD and would completion of that allow him to get off jail free?**

**2. How much time MAX could he face for this first offense DUI? he didn’t cause any accidents or reckless driving per say, he was just parked idiotically)**

**3. What would be his best route to go in getting the minimum sentence for his assault charge?(The victim is doing okay)**

**4. When pleading guilty to a simple assault case like this one, what is the likely amount of jail time he could receive and what could you expect to be the MAX amount of time?**

5. **Is there any way out of jail time regarding the DUI?**

6. **Is there any way out of jail time regarding the assault?**

Thank You for helping a stressed out mom. This has upended our lives and my baby has harshly learned his lesson. I just hope to hear honest thoughts on what this all combined may look like for him and what can I do to help?

EDIT: Please dont send me anymore berating messages or death threats. I’ve already stated that I’m not neurotypical and my mental health clearly isn’t in the best condition. don’t put salt in my wounds

My boyfriend (19) and I (18) have been off and on for some time. He’s super busy and occupied with his own company which has gotten in the way of us actually being together. The incompatibility of our schedules led him to believe he wasn’t able to be a good boyfriend and that we shouldn’t go through with this full relationship. This is no excuse for my behavior but I am diagnosed with bpd and bipolar 1 disorder. He and I have been friends for years but when we made things romantic and intimate, he’s been all I think about and I have grown really attached to him. He began distancing himself from me a little and kept saying he couldn’t handle a relationship right now and that infuriated me because we were still intimate. THEN, a rumor came out that some girl from our old school was talking to him on snapchat (dumb ass app)
This broke me and I went nuts. I had this bright idea that I thought would make him care for me again and realize what he would lose.

I found his mom’s phone number from the internet and texted her using a textnow number pretending to be my mom saying that I “ran away and was missing”. I told her I had done this because I was heartbroken by her son (cheating) talking to another girl which led me to leaving in a sad rage. I called her and used my mom’s voice and asked her if she knew where I was and if she knew what was wrong. She was very worried and involved my bfs dad and then they called my bf which worried him because he knew I was heartbroken by him. They were about to send my bf and his friends around town (I live in a small town) to do a whole ass search party to look for me and that’s when I knew my job was done. I had impersonated my mom for some time on that phone call and on those text threads that day. I finally called his mom and said that “My daughter has been found and is staying with my sister”. They were oh so relieved and told him. I was so content I had scared him into thinking he could have lost me. I have had mental health crises before so I was sure he would have panicked and thought something serious could have happened to me. He blew up my phone and was so apologetic and ran back into my arms.
Recently, he officially asked me to be his gf again and I feel like this is attributed to him thinking he could’ve lost me.

**LIES CATCHING UP TO ME:**
My boyfriend and his family are going on a family trip but my boyfriend’s mom has to contact my mom about the trip so my mom will allow me to go. I have to send my boyfriend my mom’s real number and I wonder if she will question why there are two different ones. Then, I wonder if she will bring up the other number to my mom who has NO IDEA any of this happened and become suspicious about the whole incident.
**What happens when my mom knows nothing about a second phone number or me running away and wonders who tf was impersonating her?**

It will all trickle down to me and no one will trust me.
**I can’t believe I did this shit**😭🤦‍♀️
**I want to go on this family trip because it’s really important for our relationship and I will get to meet his whole family and escape my toxic household but If she has to contact my mom—this whole trip and relationship I have with him and his family along with my relationship with my mom could come crumbling down**💀

What should I doooo???

EDIT: Please dont send me anymore berating messages or death threats. I’ve already stated that I’m not neurotypical and my mental health clearly isn’t in the best condition. You guys are getting redundant and inconsiderate. This happened months ago and you guys are kicking me down while Im TRYING to get up. Never once did I state that I was avoiding treatment or that I hadn’t already sought it. Stop assuming that I don’t want to get better. I feel very resentful of my fuck around actions and have evidently, FOUND OUT. Stop being pissy

My boyfriend (19) and I (18) have been off and on for some time. He’s super busy and occupied with his own company which has gotten in the way of us actually being together. The incompatibility of our schedules led him to believe he wasn’t able to be a good boyfriend and that we shouldn’t go through with this full relationship. This is no excuse for my behavior but I am diagnosed with bpd and bipolar 1 disorder. He and I have been friends for years but when we made things romantic and intimate, he’s been all I think about and I have grown really attached to him. He began distancing himself from me a little and kept saying he couldn’t handle a relationship right now and that infuriated me because we were still intimate. THEN, a rumor came out that some girl from our old school was talking to him on snapchat (dumb ass app)
This broke me and I went nuts. I had this bright idea that I thought would make him care for me again and realize what he would lose.

I found his mom’s phone number from the internet and texted her using a textnow number pretending to be my mom saying that I “ran away and was missing”. I told her I had done this because I was heartbroken by her son (cheating) talking to another girl which led me to leaving in a sad rage. I called her and used my mom’s voice and asked her if she knew where I was and if she knew what was wrong. She was very worried and involved my bfs dad and then they called my bf which worried him because he knew I was heartbroken by him. They were about to send my bf and his friends around town (I live in a small town) to do a whole ass search party to look for me and that’s when I knew my job was done. I had impersonated my mom for some time on that phone call and on those text threads that day. I finally called his mom and said that “My daughter has been found and is staying with my sister”. They were oh so relieved and told him. I was so content I had scared him into thinking he could have lost me. I have had mental health crises before so I was sure he would have panicked and thought something serious could have happened to me. He blew up my phone and was so apologetic and ran back into my arms.
Recently, he officially asked me to be his gf again and I feel like this is attributed to him thinking he could’ve lost me.

LIES CATCHING UP TO ME:
My boyfriend and his family are going on a family trip but my boyfriend’s mom has to contact my mom about the trip so my mom will allow me to go. I have to send my boyfriend my mom’s real number and I wonder if she will question why there are two different ones. Then, I wonder if she will bring up the other number to my mom who has NO IDEA any of this happened and become suspicious about the whole incident.
What happens when my mom knows nothing about a second phone number or me running away and wonders who tf was impersonating her?

It will all trickle down to me and no one will trust me.
I can’t believe I did this shit😭🤦‍♀️
I want to go on this family trip with them but If she has to contact my mom—this whole trip and relationship I have with him and his family along with my relationship with my mom could come crumbling down💀

What should I doooo???

Hi!
I just recently turned 18 and I am searching for a job that will not only pay well and support me in adulthood but fulfill me and give me purpose.

I am very resilient and responsible. I have experience working with children (teaching program), I can speak and understand English and Spanish fluently and am working my way towards French and Portuguese fluency. I am invested in helping people. I’ve been really into biology and have a growing interest in the medical field. I also love nature and telling people about it; I am a huge plant, insect, and reptile nerd with an affinity for environmental studies and protection.
I DO NOT like working in sales or retail. I would also prefer to avoid food service, HOWEVER, If there is a place that pays well and is of higher standards I would be willing to consider it.

Places I’ve worked before: York City Martin Library, McDonalds, Round the Clock, Skyline Gymnastics, and Ulta Beauty)

If I sound like someone who you’d like to have as an employee please contact me.
I would also really appreciate any job recommendations based on my description.

Thanks!

Location: York, Pennsylvania

EDIT: I am merely asking for advice and legal opinions not personal opinions that are giving ME shit. Keep it professional please.

My boyfriend turned 19 years old a few months ago and I just turned 18.
He is a great son to his parents, brother to his sisters, and loves me very much.
HOWEVER, he has some childhood trauma that’s very unaddressed and impulse control anger issues.
He also comes from a very underprivileged family that has been struggling financially for years.
At a young age (13), his dad began pushing him drugs to sell so they could pay bills. This got him into a lot of precarious situations that have led him to where he is today.

CHARGES:

DUI in Harford County, Maryland. He claims he was on the shoulder when police approached to see why they were over there and caught him and his friends in his truck with Alcohol and Weed.

Simple Assault: He was driving with one of his employees that work for his own moving company when said employee started rolling a joint in the backseat. My bf wasn’t aware this was happening back there and he casually rolled down the window for air. This blew the dude’s weed everywhere and out the window. Dude got angry and started raging at my boyfriend from the backseat and slapped him in his head. My bf can’t tolerate physical disrespect so he pulled over and told the guy he can apologize or fuck off and walk home. Dude pressed my bf and my bf’s friend who was in the car as well stepped out to block the punch my bf was about to get landed and punched the dude causing him to fall on the ground. THEN, my bf stupidly started kicking dude while he was already on the ground and apparently did some damage to the guys face really hurting him badly. They pulled off and left him there but unfortunately for them, someone passing caught it on their dash cam. The officer gave my bf grace since he realized it was a petty dude fight that went too far and reduced it from Aggravated Assault to Simple Assault.

I DONT EVEN FUCKING KNOW WHAT THIS IS:
My bf’s friend brought this girl who was under 18 to a function and my bf supplied the alcohol. She got tooo drunk and had to go to the hospital. Little did he know, she was pregnant. And NOT with my bf’s friend’s baby. (IK this all is batshit crazy)
My bf was told that this was on him for having brought the alcohol to the party at which she got overly drunk. My bf said if something happens to the baby then he is responsible and gets in trouble although she chose to endanger the baby by drinking. I think the main problem is that she is a minor.

Anyway, What the fuck?
How screwed is he????
Be honest.
These are all first offenses and he’s young. He has his own moving company that’s thriving in our town but because of surrounding himself with idiots and making dumb decisions himself, he has jeopardized his future as well as ours that we had planned together.

Don’t give me coddling advice like telling me to leave him and let go. Before our romantic involvement, we were best friends so Im still going to vouch for him even if it’s not as a gf. I just want to know what this could look like for him in a court of law. What he could do to reduce punishment and if there is anything he can do to better the situation in anyway and If I could help too.
Im have an inclination that he has Bipolar Disorder or something similar because I do as well and these all seemed to have happened during what I suspect to be his “mania” because otherwise, he is a pretty reasonable person.

Help please, Thanks.

Advice Encouraged

I’ve been friends with this individual who I will refer to as “M” for my entire years of high school. We started off as a talking stage my freshman year but that didn’t work out because I tried to take my own life.
Nevertheless, over the four years, we hung out and from time to time I would go to third base on him but because of past trauma, I never let him go there to me. But generally and in recent years we would just smoke together and have really good jam seshes(we’re both musicians). Fast forward to January of this year, it had been a while since we talked or hung out because he was in a pretty long term relationship that didn’t work out. We finally hung out and after so many months I realized I had deep feelings for him that weren’t there before.
I initiated a kiss and he pulled me back in.
THIS moment led to the predicament im in now almost 6 painstaking months later.

What do I do???
I really love him and his family. We’ve grown SO close this past couple of months. I’ve let him into my heart, my mind, and my body. We’ve had a few pregnancy scares, I’ve saved his ass from getting into severe trouble with the law (drug involvement) and protected some of his dark secrets. Additionally, he’s seen, touched, and loved my SH scars. And he knows the stories behind them. I know his trauma and pain and have been there for him in some of his worst moments. All in all, this has been a very emotionally invested situationship without a label, I thought I was ok with that but time and time again I tell him Im not comfortable with doing this(sexually and emotionally) without knowing for sure he’s committed to me. Is it too much to ask for a title to be SURE. Lately, I received some rumors that he entertained a girl over snapchat that reached out to him to hook up. I confronted him about it and he swears he was drunk and trolling her w his friends since she was one of his friend’s exes.
I then brought up the fact that this made me really think about if I was wasting my time with him since he does sus shit like this and can’t commit. I really do know he loves me deeply but it hurts that we do all this relationship shit and he’s too scared to commit himself to me even though Im giving him my body and my soul for free. I leave to Europe in September for college (he doesn’t know) but I was hoping to have a beautiful summer with him and continue this overseas but without him being my boyfriend, I don’t know if the accountability for him to hold us down will work.
He wants to continue this relationship we have without locking this down because he “cant be a good boyfriend right now”. He and his family are very financially unstable and he works A LOT, to just live paycheck to paycheck. His jobs are also dangerous too, so I respect where he’s coming from—however, he still always makes time for me so I don’t see why he thinks he can’t make this official.
Should I just go with the flow until I Ieave for my semester abroad or should I cut this now and try to difficultly move on without him, spending my summer alone? (I live in a small town, he’s my best friend and my only friend)
I will eventually return to my small town in December after 3 months of studying abroad,
but I wonder if I should stay stateside so we can grow in our love or if I should leave this behind and finish my studies elsewhere (Brazil).
I don’t want one more than the other.

Help

I’ve been friends with this individual who I will refer to as “M” for my entire years of high school. We started off as a talking stage my freshman year but that didn’t work out because I tried to take my own life.
Nevertheless, over the four years, we hung out and from time to time I would go to third base on him but because of past trauma, I never let him go there to me. But generally and in recent years we would just smoke together and have really good jam seshes(we’re both musicians). Fast forward to January of this year, it had been a while since we talked or hung out because he was in a pretty long term relationship that didn’t work out. We finally hung out and after so many months I realized I had deep feelings for him that weren’t there before.
I initiated a kiss and he pulled me back in.
THIS moment led to the predicament im in now almost 6 painstaking months later.

What do I do???
I really love him and his family. We’ve grown SO close this past couple of months. I’ve let him into my heart, my mind, and my body. We’ve had a few pregnancy scares, I’ve saved his ass from getting into severe trouble with the law (drug involvement) and protected some of his dark secrets. Additionally, he’s seen, touched, and loved my SH scars. And he knows the stories behind them. I know his trauma and pain and have been there for him in some of his worst moments. All in all, this has been a very emotionally invested situationship without a label, I thought I was ok with that but time and time again I tell him Im not comfortable with doing this(sexually and emotionally) without knowing for sure he’s committed to me. Is it too much to ask for a title to be SURE. Lately, I received some rumors that he entertained a girl over snapchat that reached out to him to hook up. I confronted him about it and he swears he was drunk and trolling her w his friends since she was one of his friend’s exes.
I then brought up the fact that this made me really think about if I was wasting my time with him since he does sus shit like this and can’t commit. I really do know he loves me deeply but it hurts that we do all this relationship shit and he’s too scared to commit himself to me even though Im giving him my body and my soul for free. I leave to Europe in September for college (he doesn’t know) but I was hoping to have a beautiful summer with him and continue this overseas but without him being my boyfriend, I don’t know if the accountability for him to hold us down will work.
He wants to continue this relationship we have without locking this down because he “cant be a good boyfriend right now”. He and his family are very financially unstable and he works A LOT, to just live paycheck to paycheck. His jobs are also dangerous too, so I respect where he’s coming from—however, he still always makes time for me so I don’t see why he thinks he can’t make this official.
Should I just go with the flow until I Ieave for my semester abroad or should I cut this now and try to difficultly move on without him, spending my summer alone? (I live in a small town, he’s my best friend and my only friend)
I will eventually return to my small town in December after 3 months of studying abroad,
but I wonder if I should stay stateside so we can grow in our love or if I should leave this behind and finish my studies elsewhere (Brazil).
I don’t want one more than the other.

Help

**CONTEXT:**
I feel so bad. I feel used, alone, and in so much pain. I feel in utter disbelief and disgust with how my bestfriend/lover deceived me and our relationship that meant everything to me. Already, I bet you see the problem here; A bestfriend/lover is essentially a situationship that runs deep as fuck. We’ve known each other for almost 5 years and we’ve been on and off contact over those 5, but we were always there for each other at some of the hardest times in each of our lives. This is not the first time he’s fucked up and/or betrayed my trust—but this time it’s **different**.
After he failed to disclose he was still in contact with his ex, we went no contact for some time. He reached out (always conveniently right when I move on) and I welcomed him back. I give him so much grace because I see him as a lost young man trying to find himself. My role in his life feels a little maternal at times BUT that’s another thing.
He apologized, then fucked up and lied again about being in contact with her, all the while we are doing relationship shit, making love RAW, and spending time with each others family etc. This cycle of talking to other women and then apologizing and playing to my loneliness and absolute LACK of friends gets me every time. He’s all i’ve got, no one else besides my mother is in my life for me and her and I have can have a pretty turbulent relationship at times. All in all, I deep down feel like I need him to keep me at bay away from my loneliness, nihilism, and ultimately, darkest thoughts(iykyk). It sucks to have a lover as your only friend.

**THE PROBLEM:**
Recently, we’ve spent a lot of time together. I let him in again after more lies and infidelity. But that’s the thing about situationships; With no official title, any party involved can behave like a single person since there is no official accountability and dedication to each other. He deeply apologized and said his previous actions were unrecognizable and that he has been lost within himself and I was caught in the crossfire—then he topped it off with an I love you and can see you in my life and my future…
So I concede, we keep making love raw and risky, I start coming out late as fuck to see him (abiding by his schedule)but I don’t mind because I love him and without him I’d have no one else to love and spend time with me.
This weekend we went to a festival celebrating our heritage and it was such a beautiful special time. We finally had fun in daylight. We got a lil freaky in the backseat, he spoiled me, and we made some great memories at the festival. I felt sooo loved and that made me fall in love with him even more.
This monday, we met at the park after what felt like forever since seeing him since we’ve been attached at the hip since and we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. He brought me food because I was cramping bad and he fathered my dog which made my heart melt. After he left, we were quick to call one another when we were home as to keep the good times rolling and man did we have some good conversation and laughs. The love was in abundance. However, he told me at some point last night in the absolute middle of nowhere, that this girl he didn’t know(mutuals from our old high school) was trying to hookup with him and when he rejected her, she called him a whore. I didn’t blink twice at it because I believed him. He has a past, but I know the real him and I know who he is now and how he treats me..so whatever right?
I wake up to texts from two of my old friends warning me that he was trying to go to this girl’s house last night to hookup. This threw me waay off because that same night was one of the best times we had together. He spoke of me as being his future wife and we talked all about our plans of traveling the country and the world together.
I couldn’t believe this but I also had a gut feeling that this could be true due to the weird random spurt about the “random girl” hitting him up that he was so eager to tell me the night before. It had the vibes of telling someone your version of truth before the other person can get out the real truth.
Apparently I am old friends with this “random girl” he spoke of, so I called her immediately to fact check.
She tells me she reached out to him because she was horny and wanted a hookup. He agreed asked her when he could “slide”. She says mid convo he abandoned the plans and deleted snapchat. She was down bad I guess so she dmed him on insta to ask what happened and to proceed with the hookup plans. He kinda blew her off but still left room for conversation. (based off screenshots i received from both of them) She told one of our mutual old friends about her hookup plans and he told her that she needed to stop because he and I were a thing. She confronted him about his connection to me in dms that same night and he began to play dumb and act as if their snapchat hu plans didn’t exist. She called him a whore (like he told me) but now Im aware it was for good reason.
I felt sick to my stomach hearing he was so easy to have meaningless sex with what he called a “random” after Ive been SO vulnerable with him trusting him with my mind, my heart, and MY BODY. (SH scars and trauma)
I brought it up to him and he denied it with zero good rationale. The same dm screenshots the girl sent me of him playing dumb about the hookup plans. I know he lied about trying to hookup with her but WHY???
I don’t understand why he would betray me like that.
I had absolutely no doubt in my mind that he loved me profoundly. It seems like someone possessed him to snapchat her that night because if not, he is genuinely evil incarnate and must HATE me.
And get this, at the time they would have been making these plans on snapchat, he and I were texting back and forth about how much we missed and valued each other and the next time we were going to spend time together.
After a few sorry “I love you”s and “I only have eyes for you, you mean the world to me”s
he just stopped. I got no apology, or text goodnight.
Just like that, he gave up.
I am shocked. I just spent my entire night unable to sleep, crying and throwing up, fighting the urge to uber to his house and fuck him up or tell his mom how much her son is a horrible man and how he hurt her future daughter-in-law.
I want to call and text and blow his shit up asking why??? How could you, what made you be so stupid to try and pull this over on me. Was I not enough?

I feel so lonely, I have no one to talk to and I can tell this might spark up some bad decisions on my end.
What do I do?
I know there’s nothing I can do but seriously. I feel so alone and betrayed. I thought he changed.
I saved his drug dealing ass so many times he doesn’t even know about, all while not judging him and seeing the best in him that lays beneath his struggle and hustle.

If you read this far, thank you. I needed to feel heard.

**CONTEXT:**
I feel so bad. I feel used, alone, and in so much pain. I feel in utter disbelief and disgust with how my bestfriend/lover deceived me and our relationship that meant everything to me. Already, I bet you see the problem here; A bestfriend/lover is essentially a situationship that runs deep as fuck. We’ve known each other for almost 5 years and we’ve been on and off contact over those 5, but we were always there for each other at some of the hardest times in each of our lives. This is not the first time he’s fucked up and/or betrayed my trust—but this time it’s **different**.
After he failed to disclose he was still in contact with his ex, we went no contact for some time. He reached out (always conveniently right when I move on) and I welcomed him back. I give him so much grace because I see him as a lost young man trying to find himself. My role in his life feels a little maternal at times BUT that’s another thing.
He apologized, then fucked up and lied again about being in contact with her, all the while we are doing relationship shit, making love RAW, and spending time with each others family etc. This cycle of talking to other women and then apologizing and playing to my loneliness and absolute LACK of friends gets me every time. He’s all i’ve got, no one else besides my mother is in my life for me and her and I have can have a pretty turbulent relationship at times. All in all, I deep down feel like I need him to keep me at bay away from my loneliness, nihilism, and ultimately, darkest thoughts(iykyk). It sucks to have a lover as your only friend.

**THE PROBLEM:**
Recently, we’ve spent a lot of time together. I let him in again after more lies and infidelity. But that’s the thing about situationships; With no official title, any party involved can behave like a single person since there is no official accountability and dedication to each other. He deeply apologized and said his previous actions were unrecognizable and that he has been lost within himself and I was caught in the crossfire—then he topped it off with an I love you and can see you in my life and my future…
So I concede, we keep making love raw and risky, I start coming out late as fuck to see him (abiding by his schedule)but I don’t mind because I love him and without him I’d have no one else to love and spend time with me.
This weekend we went to a festival celebrating our heritage and it was such a beautiful special time. We finally had fun in daylight. We got a lil freaky in the backseat, he spoiled me, and we made some great memories at the festival. I felt sooo loved and that made me fall in love with him even more.
This monday, we met at the park after what felt like forever since seeing him since we’ve been attached at the hip since and we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. He brought me food because I was cramping bad and he fathered my dog which made my heart melt. After he left, we were quick to call one another when we were home as to keep the good times rolling and man did we have some good conversation and laughs. The love was in abundance. However, he told me at some point last night in the absolute middle of nowhere, that this girl he didn’t know(mutuals from our old high school) was trying to hookup with him and when he rejected her, she called him a whore. I didn’t blink twice at it because I believed him. He has a past, but I know the real him and I know who he is now and how he treats me..so whatever right?
I wake up to texts from two of my old friends warning me that he was trying to go to this girl’s house last night to hookup. This threw me waay off because that same night was one of the best times we had together. He spoke of me as being his future wife and we talked all about our plans of traveling the country and the world together.
I couldn’t believe this but I also had a gut feeling that this could be true due to the weird random spurt about the “random girl” hitting him up that he was so eager to tell me the night before. It had the vibes of telling someone your version of truth before the other person can get out the real truth.
Apparently I am old friends with this “random girl” he spoke of, so I called her immediately to fact check.
She tells me she reached out to him because she was horny and wanted a hookup. He agreed asked her when he could “slide”. She says mid convo he abandoned the plans and deleted snapchat. She was down bad I guess so she dmed him on insta to ask what happened and to proceed with the hookup plans. He kinda blew her off but still left room for conversation. (based off screenshots i received from both of them) She told one of our mutual old friends about her hookup plans and he told her that she needed to stop because he and I were a thing. She confronted him about his connection to me in dms that same night and he began to play dumb and act as if their snapchat hu plans didn’t exist. She called him a whore (like he told me) but now Im aware it was for good reason.
I felt sick to my stomach hearing he was so easy to have meaningless sex with what he called a “random” after Ive been SO vulnerable with him trusting him with my mind, my heart, and MY BODY. (SH scars and trauma)
I brought it up to him and he denied it with zero good rationale. The same dm screenshots the girl sent me of him playing dumb about the hookup plans. I know he lied about trying to hookup with her but WHY???
I don’t understand why he would betray me like that.
I had absolutely no doubt in my mind that he loved me profoundly. It seems like someone possessed him to snapchat her that night because if not, he is genuinely evil incarnate and must HATE me.
And get this, at the time they would have been making these plans on snapchat, he and I were texting back and forth about how much we missed and valued each other and the next time we were going to spend time together.
After a few sorry “I love you”s and “I only have eyes for you, you mean the world to me”s
he just stopped. I got no apology, or text goodnight.
Just like that, he gave up.
I am shocked. I just spent my entire night unable to sleep, crying and throwing up, fighting the urge to uber to his house and fuck him up or tell his mom how much her son is a horrible man and how he hurt her future daughter-in-law.
I want to call and text and blow his shit up asking why??? How could you, what made you be so stupid to try and pull this over on me. Was I not enough?

I feel so lonely, I have no one to talk to and I can tell this might spark up some bad decisions on my end.
What do I do?
I know there’s nothing I can do but seriously. I feel so alone and betrayed. I thought he changed.
I saved his drug dealing ass so many times he doesn’t even know about, all while not judging him and seeing the best in him that lays beneath his struggle and hustle.

If you read this far, thank you. I needed to feel heard.

**CONTEXT:**
I feel so bad. I am on a high dosage of a mood stabilizer for bipolar 1 disorder and I have been doing a lot better than I was this time last year.
2026 is the first year in 3 years, I’ve made it without a suicide attempt or psych hospital visit. However, I think that might change soon because holy shit do I feel dead, alone, and in so much pain. I feel in utter disbelief and disgust with how my bestfriend/lover deceived me and our relationship that meant everything to me. Already, I bet you see the problem here; A bestfriend/lover is essentially a situationship that runs deep as fuck. We’ve known each other for almost 5 years and we’ve been on and off contact over those 5, but we were always there for each other at some of the hardest times in each of our lives. This is not the first time he’s fucked up and/or betrayed my trust—but this time it’s **different**.
After he failed to disclose he was still in contact with his ex, we went no contact for some time. He reached out (always conveniently right when I move on) and I welcomed him back. I give him so much grace because I see him as a lost young man trying to find himself. My role in his life feels a little maternal at times BUT that’s another thing.
He apologized, then fucked up and lied again about being in contact with her, all the while we are doing relationship shit, making love RAW, and spending time with each others family etc. This cycle of talking to other women and then apologizing and playing to my loneliness and absolute LACK of friends gets me every time. He’s all i’ve got, no one else besides my mother is in my life for me and her and I have can have a pretty turbulent relationship at times. All in all, I deep down feel like I need him to keep me at bay away from my loneliness, nihilism, and ultimately, suicidal thoughts. It sucks to have a lover as your only friend.

**THE PROBLEM:**
Recently, we’ve spent a lot of time together. I let him in again after more lies and infidelity. But that’s the thing about situationships; With no official title, any party involved can behave like a single person since there is no official accountability and dedication to each other. He deeply apologized and said his previous actions were unrecognizable and that he has been lost within himself and I was caught in the crossfire—then he topped it off with an I love you and can see you in my life and my future…
So I concede, we keep making love raw and risky, I start coming out late as fuck to see him (abiding by his schedule)but I don’t mind because I love him and without him I’d have no one else to love and spend time with me.
This weekend we went to a festival celebrating our heritage and it was such a beautiful special time. We finally had fun in daylight. We got a lil freaky in the backseat, he spoiled me, and we made some great memories at the festival. I felt sooo loved and that made me fall in love with him even more.
This monday, we met at the park after what felt like forever since seeing him since we’ve been attached at the hip since and we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. He brought me food because I was cramping bad and he fathered my dog which made my heart melt. After he left, we were quick to call one another when we were home as to keep the good times rolling and man did we have some good conversation and laughs. The love was in abundance. However, he told me at some point last night in the absolute middle of nowhere, that this girl he didn’t know(mutuals from our old high school) was trying to hookup with him and when he rejected her, she called him a whore. I didn’t blink twice at it because I believed him. He has a past, but I know the real him and I know who he is now and how he treats me..so whatever right?
I wake up to texts from two of my old friends warning me that he was trying to go to this girl’s house last night to hookup. This threw me waay off because that same night was one of the best times we had together. He spoke of me as being his future wife and we talked all about our plans of traveling the country and the world together.
I couldn’t believe this but I also had a gut feeling that this could be true due to the weird random spurt about the “random girl” hitting him up that he was so eager to tell me the night before. It had the vibes of telling someone your version of truth before the other person can get out the real truth.
Apparently I am old friends with this “random girl” he spoke of, so I called her immediately to fact check.
She tells me she reached out to him because she was horny and wanted a hookup. He agreed asked her when he could “slide”. She says mid convo he abandoned the plans and deleted snapchat. She was down bad I guess so she dmed him on insta to ask what happened and to proceed with the hookup plans. He kinda blew her off but still left room for conversation. (based off screenshots i received from both of them) She told one of our mutual old friends about her hookup plans and he told her that she needed to stop because he and I were a thing. She confronted him about his connection to me in dms that same night and he began to play dumb and act as if their snapchat hu plans didn’t exist. She called him a whore (like he told me) but now Im aware it was for good reason.
I felt sick to my stomach hearing he was so easy to have meaningless sex with what he called a “random” after Ive been SO vulnerable with him trusting him with my mind, my heart, and MY BODY. (SH scars and trauma)
I brought it up to him and he denied it with zero good rationale. The same dm screenshots the girl sent me of him playing dumb about the hookup plans. I know he lied about trying to hookup with her but WHY???
I don’t understand why he would betray me like that.
I had absolutely no doubt in my mind that he loved me profoundly. It seems like someone possessed him to snapchat her that night because if not, he is genuinely evil incarnate and must HATE me.
And get this, at the time they would have been making these plans on snapchat, he and I were texting back and forth about how much we missed and valued each other and the next time we were going to spend time together.
After a few sorry “I love you”s and “I only have eyes for you, you mean the world to me”s
he just stopped. I got no apology, or text goodnight.
Just like that, he gave up.
I am shocked. I just spent my entire night unable to sleep, crying and throwing up, fighting the urge to kill myself or uber to his house and fuck him up.
I want to call and text and blow his shit up asking why??? How could you, what made you be so stupid to try and pull this over on me. Was I not enough?

I feel so lonely, I have no one to talk to and I can tell this might spark up a nasty manic episode.
What do I do?
I know there’s nothing I can do but seriously. I feel so alone and betrayed. I thought he changed.
I saved his drug dealing ass so many times he doesn’t even know about, all while not judging him and seeing the best in him that lays beneath his struggle and hustle.

If you read this far, thank you. I needed to feel heard.

I am not very good with concise story telling but im going to try my best not to give you the entire encyclopedia.

He and I met in our early high school years.
We had a little “talking stage”(hate this term)
and It was cute until I lost interest in him due to him being underwhelming to me and my severe undiagnosed manic depression (bp1).
I cut things off with him but we still remained friends and would hang out once in a blue moon. I sing and he plays guitar and the drums and so we bonded over our musical talents and would have great jam sessions while covering our favorite songs.

we made out a few times over the course of our friendship but it was few times in between the long stretches of times we’d see each other and it never went any farther because I just wasn’t interested in him that way and wasn’t very sexually attracted to him either.
i’ve never had many friends but he was the one friend who always made time for me and would be there as soon as I’d call—whenever, and however.

fast forward to around a year ago, he got into a relationship with a girl we’ll call “L” and blocked me. I respected this and was honestly impressed that he would be so loyal as to cut me out of his life considering he always wanted me. Unfazed by this, I went on with my life. Around November of this past year, he texts me out of the blue. He said he was back from months of “hell”, which told me their happy little relationship didn’t work out as planned. We began texting a little more here and there to catch up and decided to hangout for the first time in a long time in January. Hanging out then felt like no time had passed and his family was so happy to see me again and missed me because I was practically a part of the family unit. We did a great cover of Clocks by Coldplay and the chemistry just felt soo real and more special than usual. I loved how we could just lay in bed together under the same blanket and not feel any sexual tension or energy. That meant a lot to me because I had sexual trauma from a situation in October. I felt respected by him.
In his truck in front of my house as he drops me off, I tell him how much our friendship means to me and how good I feel around him. I bravely went in for a kiss not knowing how It would be received because he was just out of a relationship not too long before. I instantly regretted it and backed up but then he grabbed me and pulled me back in. (little did I know this would lead to months of stress, pain, and tears)

We began spending a lot of time together after that and one night I went over to his place to “watch the super bowl “. We shared some laughs and somehow we found ourselves making out and getting overlyyy handsy. We then had sex for the first time with each other. This was big for the both of us because I’ve had a strict rule that I don’t have sex with friends, or outside of committed relationships due to past trauma and the want to not fuck good things up. Having casual sex was not something I ever did *purposely*(some of my manic episodes I did, and regretted it)
So he knew this meant that I was all in. I told him this would likely mean I’d get attached and I needed that make sure we were on the same page because he knows my rule. and he was all for it. I said are you sure??? and he said he was so i believed him.

I am about to skip a lot of actually rather important shit because Im writing TOOO much so I’ll get to the stuff I came to write about.

One day we’re in the truck after a beautiful date and he gets BACK to BACK calls from this girl “L” his ex(I didn’t know at the time)
But when I asked “who keeps calling you??” he told me it was some girl who he didn’t he even know very well and that she was crazy. I recalled her name popping up on his phone earlier during some of our dates but I just left it alone until this time because she was absolutely spammmm calling and FACETIMING too.
Of course I pressed him about this and was like wtf going on and who the fuck is she forreal. After trying to pull truth from him nd forcing him to show me their text messages, he finally discloses this is his ex and that he needed his stuff back from her which is why she was texting him “when are you free?” …
I told him to handle his bs and I left because I hate being lied to and clearly he had loose ends untied from this relationship and I hated feeling like a rebound.
A lotttt of time passes and now we’re in April. I had just finished healing from the heartbreak this situation brought me and detaching from the life we had begun to make over those two months. (feb-mar)
He calls me after a month and half of no contact and because I was so lonely and still missed his presence, I picked up. we planned to hang later that day and we did. we went to the park we liked, and afterwards I invited him into my place. I stepped away to use the restroom for a split second and I came back to him reading my journal. He read the love letter I wrote that was just a journal entry that was me detaching from him and saying my final I love yous and goodbyes. (this was never for him to see, but for me to get my emotions and unsaid words out of my head) I caught him w the journal and yelled at him but he said he didn’t even get a chance to see much. we had sex.. barely because he lasted like 5 mins tops and on his way out he said “i love you too” in response to the love i professed in my journal. This is mid April)

We continued to spend time together even more, we facetimed often, began saying I love you too each other and started “making love”.
We were in sooo deep, and he would talk of one day making me his wife and starting a life together. His family saw it, my family saw it—shit even his nosy neighbor did.

One afternoon I get a call from one of my friends who Im not very close with but she is a good person. She calls me and says “hey girl, Im at the gym, and I just wanted to let you know that “M” (my man) was eyeing me up with his friend and then he came over and asked me for my name and shit”)
This was flabbergasting considering he had JUST a night or two before, sent me a whole paragraph about how Im the best woman he’s ever known and that he would never leave me for anything.

I felt sickkkk but knew I couldn’t confront him immediately. I waited til we were both free to have some alone time at night. Eventually we had time and I came over and pretended as if everythingggg was fine. I gave him massages, we laughed, and watched our a beloved movie from our childhood.
I made an advance on him and began edging him just for my own enjoyment and for his suffering.
I then grabbed his dick and pretended it was a microphone and ask him a question like it was a fucking game show. I asked him what he asked my friend at the gym and that caught him off guard because he wasn’t expecting me to have known about that. Turned from sexy to serious real quick . His excuse was that he was asking on behalf and of his friend, but that made no sense to me. they are GROWN men who don’t need to play telephone to talk to a woman. I didn’t buy it, but thennn he got a call. He had his phone wayyy out the way and I grew suspicious. He wanted me to sit on his face alll night so that’s just what I did. I sat on it and suffocated him with the covers so I could get that phone. Normally I would consider this breaking privacy boundaries but he had already broken my trust multiple times and I wanted to know if I was being disrespected more than I already knew. Lo and behold , a shit ton of missed facetime calls from “L” and even a few from some other girl. At this point I told him, to just be HONEST, he was already in deep shit. He then told me that “L” had told him she was PREGNANT earlier that day and that threw me soo bad considering he was acting as if everything was fine and normal and it seemed as though he was never gonna tell me any of this.
He swore up and down that the baby wasn’t his because of his “A1 pull out game” ….
I was lied to, truth was withheld from me, and It was like he wasn’t taking me seriously at all.
Apparently this was some sort of friends with benefits to him even though this dream was sold to me as a relationship.

After lots of back and forth, I told him the disrespect, inconsistency, and lies were too much for me and that I was so disappointed in him because I really thought he loved me and took me seriously. I feel so devastated and deceived.
He begged me not to go and that we could still be continue our relationship that wasn’t quite a real one or at least stay friends but he did me so dirty that—no we could absolutely not be back to normal. I was in love and I thought he was too, but to me it seemed like he just liked being loved and wanted my tight grip coochie for himself and still wanted to run around with no commitment to me.
He always made me feel loved and like I was his only desire so this has made me even more untrusting of men and their motives. I even overlooked his past (he had been with a lotttt of the girls from our high school) because I knew he was worth more than looking at his sexuality to determine his character.
He apologized and kept promising he would change for me and prove that he can be abetter man for me because he loved me so much.
For my own mental health and self-respect, I told him I had to leave him. It hurt the both of us especially because at the heart of this, we were eachother’s closest friends. I know he really did love me but he was just very insecure and immature. Hes texted me but as much as I want his company and to be in his arms again, I can’t let him have me after all the pain he’s put me through. As well as the fact he might be a father, that really ruins any chance of us having a future together.

I miss what we used to have so much and Im afraid the loneliness will cause me to end up in his bed again.

now, I have no one.
my only friend and lover, gone.