u/SoftDreamer

It’s enough that I haven’t been making progress with therapy and my therapists wonder how I just went downhill like this. I’ve been gaining weight and I feel so much worse about myself. I don’t know what is making it harder but my fat ass binging and purging has to do with it.

I finally got to lower my number after being stuck on the same number but different digits after the dot but then I binged and gained so much in a day that I realize this almost 2 days afterwards. One binge just ruined everything

I swear I’m trying my best not to react with self harm but I feel beyond awful. My therapist just tells me that what I worry about isn’t even big and they don’t see a difference in my weight but I’ve had a huge difference. It’s so much harder than it really looks or am I stupid? I can’t take those numbers at all. I feel riddled with fear and helpless. I’m scared of never being skinny.

God despises me.

It definitely describes me but god was that a painful read. I quiet hate this type anyways

Anyways to describe it, I am pretty much a pain in the ass to others. Pretty much bratty and ungrateful. Suffering from the disgust of living but also willing to believe that no one can reach me