u/Soggy-Hotel-2419

Hi,

I am not dating anyone currently, and am still figuring myself out now and what's good for me and what I want. I'll be living my best single life.

Still, if I am called to marriage and can get that discerned, I have been wondering about the dating world. I see some people talk about how there's a lot of men who fake interest in the faith to gain access to christian women, bc they see us as more moldable or willing to take their abusive, sexist behaviors. I see two types: Men who pretend to be christian and men who are secular but pretend to be respectful.

How do you discern if a man is sincere and normal about christian women?

I love how in the early episodes the Spellmans are portrayed as an unconventional but very loving family.

Hilda and Salem could've been written to have a mutually hateful relationship–A wannabe dictator and his follower forced to live together. As cat and cat owner, no less.

Yet in the early episodes he's treated like a family member AND animal companion at the same time. They take care of him like a pet but he also shares regular human dinner with the family (even cooks for them sometimes), celebrates family holidays like the Halloween family reunion with them (instead of visiting his own family which he'd be free to do), etc. and is hip with the family lore like he's just another relative.

I think my fave example of this would be in "A River of Candy Corn Runs Through" where he and Hilda get into a back and forth over how "you never used the [gift] I got you," "yeah well you don't use THIS gift I gave you."

In a regular show that's a regular exchange, but in Sabrina this is weird (in a sweet way).

I have a diverse age group in my support circle. One person I am good friends with is a gen x man and it's honestly crazy just how different he is from the gen z men I've tried befriending.

He makes a lot of crass jokes, sexual jokes included. Yet none of his jokes are about how great bdsm is, in fact, a lot of his jokes make fun of bdsm. He is anti sex work, has daughters and is very pro women having safety and autonomy over their bodies (he said that some of his opinions have been shaped by the concerns and experiences his partner has had or has feared). In general though, he is very caring towards women and loves his mom very much.

He even talks about he thinks stuff like furry porn is gross and weird. And we talked about his uncomfortableness with anime. Again, he likes raunchy humor, but he says anime is too horny and he thinks weebs are weird.

It's a sad reflection of how much things have changed, but it's nice to know a man doesn't care if he's commiting the "evils" of kinkshaming.

Been rewatching episodes from seasons 5 and 6. As much as season 7 is panned, at least it has the decency to get weird and magical again after the Scorch arc. The college seasons are purposefully very mundane and basic and I hate it–It turns into a show where magic is more of a side element than the MAIN element. I notice SO many of the plots could easily be rewritten to take place in a magic free world because the spells are not that relevant or just appear for a few gags or to move the plot along. Doesn't help that our magical characters are made less relevant to the story as well.

The highschool seasons work bc each character is entangled with each other. Sabrina is a witch learning to use magic while being taken care of by Hilda and Zelda. It's very easy to write a story that lets each of them be important to the plot in that way. The college cast is so bloated and the setting is not built in a way where magic or magical characters can easily be written into the story. Sabrina is more independent and wants to fit in as a mortal, and Hilda and Zelda aren't given much to do. They easily could have found a way to add Hilda and Zelda's interests and careers to the new setting, but instead they just reduced her aunts to being as boy obssessed as the other women on the show.

I am writing fanfiction and I am 100% uphauling most of this. I love the idea of Sabrina going to college, but I think people are right that she should've gone to an other realm school. That's what I'll be writing in my fanfiction for sure.

It's just something I've been thinking abt as an adult seeing all of these younger adults online. Discourse about media literacy and if shitty media exists in a vacuum or not is THE hot topic in the spaces of young people, and sadly I feel like even so, it's just inevitable that most of these people will wind up being kink sympathizers even if they were anti kink at the start.

Not because they're stupid, but bc they're literally 18 or 19 who are excited about being adults with agency and their own views, but haven't had enough life experience to even fully understand their own values fully, the nuances of the debate, how to argue, or what a toxic friend is. It's a rite of passage for being a grown person, but it's also a time of highs and lows about everything. It's vulnerable and raw which means it's also a good opportunity for manipulation disguised as "friendship."

The approaching kinkster will come off as a cool open minded adult who acknowledges how this 18 or 19 yo is very mature for their age. For some young people this sort of manipulation feels like respect or validation, and it's very exciting to gain that so young. It can be doubly charming when it comes from someone with an opposing view who's much older, bc it's like they're saying the 18 or 19 yo is THAT mature and smart for their age. I can't blame them, bc again, it's nice to be an adult with agency. But that's also how the vampire convinces you to invite them in.

The only hope I have is that it is, like most behaviors 18 and 19 yos do, just a part of self discovery and they realize the debate has more nuance.

Just my conspiracy theory/observation as an outsider lookng in:

Everyone knows about the people who claim to be asexual while also apparently having and enjoying tons of fetishes. But let's talk about the people I'VE been observing... I'm noticing there's a vocal group of lgbt people who are very hostile asexual people, and in particular seem to hold the fact that asexuals straight up don't ever experience sexual attraction as some sort of failing. Many of them will say that asexuals do not belong in the community

What I find interesting is that of all the lgbt populations, I notice our most vocal kink critics are aces themselves. In fact, I'd say that aces in general are willing to question and deconstruct a lot of narratives surrounding sex (ie. sex being a "need," romance is the greatest type of love, etc.). I lurk one asexual sub in particular (iykyk) and the aces there are very unafraid to say what they think, I see a lot of good criticisms against porn and kink

What I'm thinking is, how much of this pushback against asexual people isn't just a way to silence them? Single out the group with a unique perspective and courage to stand up against very popular societal standards, and claim that their unique perspective is EXACTLY why they don't have anything of value to say. Most of the best arguments on this sub have been from asexual people, so I honestly would not be surprised if this is the case.

Hi, I'm someone interested in pigeons as pets. I'm still in my rsearch and reflect phase, though.

I did actually grow up with a pigeon my mom rehabbed. But one of the sad things is that my childhood pigeon ended up imprinting on us and my mom wasn't interested in learning enough pigeon care to know he needed another pigeon for company and just let him pairbond to her (it wasn't good for his mental health).

Researching how bad imprinting was for pigeons as an adult broke my heart, and I've vowed to never to put a pigeon in that sort of predicament. It seems like the kindest action is to get a pet pigeon a partner, so it is not lonely and has another bird that can relate to it.

I like this idea and I'm willing to do it, but I still have some questions. It seems like some pigeons will break up or start becoming aggressive towards each other, so how exactly do you deal with that? And then there's the BIG issue, egg swapping. How do people remember to do that (calender checking and alarms/reminders?) and what do you do if you end up with oops babies? And then there's cleaning, how much more effort it is to clean up after 2 pigeons vs 1?

Hi. I want to become a pescetarian for health reasons. I started trying the diet nearly a week ago and it's been less stressful than I thought it'd be. I'm adapting to it much better than I thought and I'm discovering I really enjoy it.

I have a few questions/concerns about doing this long term:

• I really like canned sardines, but they have a lot of sodium and I even saw a study that said they have a lot of microplastics, what are healthier but still cheap seafood I can use more regularly?
• If I enjoy catfish, sardines, and salmon, what other seafood would I like?
• How do I know if the company producing/selling the fish is meeting the proper standards?
• Since you aren't eating fish all the time, what are your favorite non fishy dishes? I have a rice cooker so I'd love to hear some ideas on what to do with that!
• Since it's not about eating fish all the time, is it a smarter to bulk buy something like frozen fish to eat over several weeks, or to just batch make leftovers?
• Where's the best place to buy fish?

To be more specific it's for a dental office. I do have some experience with development coordination and I'm pretty good at customer service and multitasking, still, not really sure how to advertise myself. It's all online and I have to write a bit about myself I guess?

I'm nervous but also sort of excited.

Will paystubs be enough? A letter? I'm planning on just not showing up today, maybe they'll send me a letter of termination.

I'm in PA if that changes anything.

SERIOUSLY! I've been struggling with finding the right bed for a while for my posture. I lost my last mattress and have been sleeping on a leather loungue chair you can convert into a makeshift bed. I keep falling asleep on my arms or sleeping in very fucked up shoulder positions that give me a lot of back and arm pain when I wake up. I wake up all stiff and need tons of stretches to feel better.

I have been toying and experimenting with floor living for some time now and decided to take a risk last night and give it a shot. Following the advice of a youtuber called motivationaldoc, I used a rolled up towel for my head, and a pillow for my legs, and fell asleep on the floor with just a thin blanket underneath. Nothing else. I quickly fell asleep on my back.

It's amazing. Much less pain and my body feels like it has more mobility and I feel more refreshed. I understand some of the pain and waking up at night is my body not being used to it yet, so I'm going to keep practicing and researching different types of materials. But it's crazy how much different it is and only after 2 nights.

Hi everyone,

I did want to say thanks bc I did get this current job since I asked for prayers months ago. Unfortunately it is time I look for another place... It was retail/fast food and our authorities/leaders are both very toxic and give me shady vibes. To give some examples: I was once asked by our dm if I could work on one of my days off, I said I'd think about it it but he wrote me in anyway. I noticed this on the schedule and let him know this was not feasible and he claimed to have backed off and would look for someone to cover for me... Except on that day off, I had my shift manager text me about "hey, the schedule said you were going to come work."

Or our assistant general manager. Huge micromanager and toxic critic who shuts down if you ever stand up for yourself even if you're very polite and is happy to blame me for everything during our shifts together. I cry after shifts I have with her because she is SO condescending and MEAN. One night she even marked me down as not following the schedule on our schedule sheet because I didn't agree to working late past my assigned shift after she passive aggressively tried to bully me into agreeing to do that.

I'd also just like to say that I have dealt with stomach issues, a pretty bad migraine that's been lasting several days (my very first migraine too!), a runny nose and very sore muscles over the last few days. But I still felt I had to come in. I decided I had enough of stress yesterday and called in sick on Sunday, just to be told by the gm that I owe him a doctor's note for missing a day (and also bc I refused to take some meds and come in anyway. I totally such a jerk for not wanting to work with cold symptoms).

I have the note, but I'm pretty scared, I won't lie. I'm not sure if he will fire me or not for not getting the note the exact day I called in sick.

I need a new job and I need more hope. My friend says I can be very cynical and I think she is right because I just don't ever feel hopeful that I'll ever have good work experiences. I always come in feeling defeatist and depressed and that attitude will never help me find a job/role that works best for me if I just assume there's never any hope. It has just been hard because my last jobs have also been extremely toxic. My last boss was also a very controlling micromanager who enjoyed scapegoating me for things, including writing me up and threatening to fire me after I got sick at work and needed to rest.

Please pray my mentality improves enough that I can find a job that works for me, that I can find a new job soon and that I am brave about it and that everything works out. I don't have any husband nor a family who can consistently financially support me when the chips are down and I am still in school for ny GED. Losing a job is a big deal for me, esp as someone who still lives in section 8 housing and doesn't want to be homeless again and needs that GED so she can jump into job programs and such.

Most of all, please pray that I can roll with whatever God defines as "things working out," even if that means being fired and without a job for a few months again.

Hi everyone.

I'm 107lbs and 5'5. Trying to improve my posture. I am a side sleeper who is trying to sleep on her back more for the sake of her back.

I prefer softer foam that I can sink into (at least a little) and is big enough for my arms to move around. The last mattress I used I didn't even put in the frame and I liked it that way (I now know that you need a frame for mattresses like that to avoid bedrot). I think it was memory foam or MIGHT have had some wheat in it.

I am more than willing to pay $300 or more.

I understand that group is about interpersonal dynamics and not just running away from stuff we are upset with, but I feel I have to draw the line at some point.

I won't go into it too much and risk retraumatizing myself, but I am a woman in a mostly female therapy group, but we have some male members but some of the men in our group make me uncomfortable.

One man in particular reminds me of my extremely abusive father, all the way down to some misogynistic behaviors and smugly says other things that we should use violence when we are triggered to help ourselves. I also think he stares at my body at times but idk how to tell my therapist.

There's another man who also reminds me of another abusive male family member, his only real interaction with me was challenging a boundary I had voiced and then invalidating the trauma I had experienced that made me have this boundary in the first place, followed by him trying to start an argument while I repeatedly told him I didn't want to engage. The therapist had to take him aside and talk to him about his behavior.

I have talked to my therapist about the men before and I guess we've made some progress... They generally leave me alone now, but it still angers me that I have to see them and even a little ill. I honestly wish they didn't come here anymore because they're not kind and never even say anything constructive or supportive. I feel more triggered or just outright angry and it's made talking about my experiences as being a woman and how misogyny fueled much of my traumatic upbringing outright impossible. I'm not sure why, it's may just be parts memories bubbling up, but I really hate being around them and feel like it's not safe anymore to be open about how men have hurt me, especially since much of my pain comes from how society enables or encourages certain behaviors in men that dehumanize women, and I have a LOT of feelings about hot button issues that I'm certain would gather me some pushback from the men.

I am not trying to say that cats deserve the horrible things that happen to them when let outside. I grew up with relatives who kept outdoor cats and the casualness that they displayed when their poor cats died due to outside causes put me off from outdoor cats completely. So I do get it.

But.. As a bird person and general nature lover, it feels like most people's argument for/belief why cats should not be outdoors is always focused on the cat's safety and no one else's. Nobody ever brings up the poor baby birds who lose their mothers and fathers bc Mittens was outside and bored. Nobody wants to say how sad it is that rn, little mice are being attacked and then delivered half chewed up to humans. Nobody ever considers the poor little lizards, frozen in terror, half injured and holding onto fading hope that maybe the cat currently batting them around after slashing them will miraculously go away so they can scurry off to attempt recovery.

It just feels wrong and unfair.

I'm going to force myself to walk to my nearest church for liturgy today. But man, I feel too tired to go.

Thanks to everyone's prayers I did get a new job but BOY is it bad. The coworkers aren't toxic or anything, but we're a retailstore that is very understaffed. There are many shifts where it's just 2 people, or sometimes even justr 1 person. We have enough people to cover, but our previous GM would only have a handful of us work for each shift and we're presently bleeding employees who are (rightfully) sick of this awful work enviroment. The district manager is trying to take the reins now but only time will tell if he decides to NOT understaff us each night.

I just spent my last week not really resting. I had to come in and cover for people on my 2 days off and most of my shifts have ended up being an hour or two later than what I was assigned bc of how slow a small person team is (no offense, but it's the truth).

I end up coming home wiped out and unable to do any of my usual routines so I can relax enough to go to bed at a reasonable hour. It's not the worst job, but the general stress has been making my C-PTSD worse and I often spend hours after work very dissociated and unwell and usually hungry bc I'm too out of it to help myself.

This week I've been standing for so long that I just don't really want to move at all and standing for too long is very stressful on my nervous system and body.

I don't really know what I should do today (the worst part is that I'm not even going to get a rest. I have to work sunday and Monday too. So I'll have basically worked for a week straight).

A few months ago I wrote about feeling like I had to pick between accepting and being myself or being someone else to be loved. This is an update.

I think this all started because I began developing more self acceptence and started centering ME instead of everyone else. I have been purposefully spending more time alone, making art solely for my eyes only, and am using my free time exploring alllll of my many facets and reporting back on what spoke to me and what didn't. I even discovered ONE of my core values, which is honesty!

But it's like with every day I accept myself and love myself, I also find myself feeling less interested in other people and just feel foreign and depressed and frustrated. I simply can't relate to the average person.

- I didn't have a normal upbringing, not even by C-PTSD standards of the typical abusive home.

- I don't have typical interests and I don't lead a typical life.

- My set of personal beliefs is very very eclectic

- I just see so many people now and it truly feels like I have a perspective not many people understand or share.

And I do not think it is some form of autism or another form of neurodivergence, bc I am getting pretty damn neurotypical in how I socialize and stuff. I don't feel like I'm masking and I KNOW I'm not masking either.

I don't know how to connect with others. It feels pointless when my way of saying things and doing things is just. Different. Hell I am a creative but don't even like sharing art, so that path to talking is over. I wanted to as a kid, and my parents murdered that desire and I've never gotten it back (I wish it was back).

I have so many people in my life I want to befriend, but despair is stopping me from reachig out and attempting to make any connections. And despair is twelling me that nobody wants me for me, not as a friend, partner or teammate. Why would they? I don't act like other people and I don't look like other people. Most people pick it up right away and reject me for it or think I should be grateful someone noticed me despite my appearence/personality/etc. Even my own therapist says I'm not like other people (in a compliment way. She may very well be the first AND only person who's ever told me I'm different and that it's good). I tell myself to choose those who choose me, and I try to, the problem is that for me, I simply think nobody is choosing me, so I'm keeping to myself.

Idk what to do. I was troubleshooting this with my carrier yesterday (Straight talk) and I even reset my network. My phone isn't on do not disturb either. My only idea is that maybe it's bc my phone is running out of storage and is acting weird.

Anyone got any solutions? It's my only phone so I can't pop the sim card into another device (but maybe I should)

Some of them aren't catholic and I feel I don't pray enough to convert them and I'm so scared for them. I really don't want them to go to hell and I wish they knew how much God loved them and wanted to be with them.

I will pray for your loved ones too.